saturnsoupblog

[saturnsoupblog]

Sitting on his bed in his empty room, Todd feels tears well up in his eyes, burning them. He doesn’t really know why he’s about to cry, but nowadays there is not much reason behind anything, he thinks. His heart just hurts and it’s been that way for a while now.

Neil bursts into their room, mumbling some lines of the play he’s in. He stops in his tracks as soon as he sees Todd on the bed, motionless, passive, except for his face, which is contorted into a grimace of agony.

“Todd? What’s wrong?” Neil asks, kneeling in front of Todd’s bed and putting his hands on the other boy’s thighs, right above his knees.

For a moment, Todd doesn’t respond. Then, he shrugs and shakes his head.

“I don’t know,” he whispers, “But it hurts.”

A tear slips free, rolling down his reddened cheek.

Sitting down on the bed beside Todd, Neil wraps his arms around the boy and pulls him into a tight, loving embrace.

“Whatever is making you hurt, we’ll get through it together, Todd. I promise,” Neil murmurs into Todd’s hair, planting a short kiss on the top of his head.

Todd doesn’t say anything in return. He squeezes his eyes shut and simply hugs Neil as tightly as he can, afraid that he’ll disappear any second now. He doesn’t know why he’s terrified of that.

But when he opens his eyes again, he knows why.

His room is empty.

And Neil is gone.

[saturnsoupblog]

me, as I open my folder of bootlegs: it’s not easy being a criminal, I’m always running from the law

[saturnsoupblog]

one thing about me is that i say floor time and lay down on the floor until i feel better

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I cannot express to all my autistic/adhd bitches out there how important Floor Time™ is.

Before floor time: >:(

After floor time: :)

[saturnsoupblog]

bed time

☓ generic

☓ overrated

☓ too squishy

floor time

✓ grounding

✓ restores full hp

✓ recalibrates you like a wii remote

[saturnsoupblog]

Part of the reason T4T is so common is the mix of "don't freak out and kill me" plus "I'm not going through gender 101 with you," sure. It's way easier being trans with other trans people in that way. But also another part of it is a certain amount of wanting "holy shit your gender is so awesome, my gender is so awesome, I love what you're doing with gender, I'm amazing at gender" to go both ways. Which, not many cis people are like that about their gender. Not zero, but it's not common, and I just enjoy sharing the genderiness of it all too much.

[saturnsoupblog]

I’m both the sad person and the person wanting to comfort the sad person.

-Lily King

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wow…ahead of its time (and ahead of its host)

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today i realized that i gaslight myself into not liking men

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Claire C. Holland, from I Am Not Your Final Girl: Poems; “Jess”

[Text ID: “I can’t exist in a way that comforts you.”]

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Blythe Baird, from If My Body Could Speak; “Concerns from a hot-boxed jeep”

[Text ID: “How do I stop / carrying everything / that had ever / happened to me?”]

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“If someone makes you feel, let them.”

— Reyna Biddy

[saturnsoupblog]

little beast — richard siken // macbeth — shakespeare // a primer for the small weird loves — richard siken // swimming pool — the front bottoms // aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe — benjamin alire sáenz // the goldfinch — donna tartt

[saturnsoupblog]

seeing the photos from Webb up against photos from Hubble just makes me… I don’t even know like, wow! Look at that!

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❗️TSITP SPOILERS❗️

THIS! JUST THIS!

cr: fangirling444 on tiktok

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I just have… there’s just so much shit going on. If we started something, I feel like I could…fuck it up.

[saturnsoupblog]

the special relationship is as strong as ever, lads