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savouringmidnights · 15 days ago

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THIS THIS THIS THIS IS JUST UGH IM SPEECHLESS I LOVE YOU AUTHOR THANK YOU INFINITY FOR THISSSBHDHDHHDH

to you

ft. love and deepspace men x fem!non!mc! reader

tags. modern au, angst, rebounds

summary. they listen to you singing at your concert after leaving you in the dust a few years back— noticing how the lyrics were about the two of you.

— playlist. [click here]

xavier

he should’ve known.

he really should’ve known the second the lights dimmed and the first note left your lips. but he didn’t. not when you stepped onto the stage in that spotlight glow. not when the crowd erupted in cheers, or when she was beside him and leaned in with a grin and whispered, “she’s even better live, isn’t she?

he just nodded. said, “yeah.”

but then came the second verse.

soft. haunting. familiar in a way that made his stomach knot.

“fun at first, i won't deny

but i want more than just what meets the eye”

he blinked.

his throat went dry.

because you had said that to him once. not word for word, but close. curled up in his arms one night when you thought he was asleep. whispering it into the quiet like it’d slip away otherwise.

she didn’t notice the way his hands clenched.

“'cause i don't want it if it's fake

i don't want it if it's just for show

i just want it if it's real and i'm thinking i should let you know”

he didn’t hear the next few lines. not over the rush of blood in his ears.

not over the memory of your smile every time when you with him. not over how you’d kissed his knuckles when he was bleary with sleep, how you always texted to ask if he’d eaten— even though you knew he probably already had , how you learned how he liked his coffee without ever needing to ask.

he swallowed hard. the crowd was cheering. she was clapping beside him.

but all he could see was you. standing there, poised and radiant, singing your heart out like it didn’t still belong to him.

his jaw tightened.

he’d told himself it was harmless. temporary. a distraction until he figured things out. until his heart stopped aching for someone else.

he hadn’t planned on it hurting like this.

he hadn’t planned on falling for you too.

not this late.

and now you were up there, singing like the memory of him still lived in your lungs. like you hadn’t burned him out after all.

you wrote this about me.

the words stayed trapped in his throat.

and suddenly, MC’s voice beside him felt too loud. too bright. too far away.

because for the first time in almost two years—

he didn’t want to be sitting next to the girl he once loved.

he wanted to be with the one he lost.

zayne

he didn’t really want to come.

it was her idea— MC’s, bright-eyed and nostalgic as she handed him the second ticket. “she’s gotten big now, huh? figured we could check it out. for old times’ sake.”

he’d just nodded. said sure. told himself it didn’t matter. that it was just a concert. just music.

but then the lights dropped.

and you walked onto the stage.

god. he forgot what you looked like under the lights. like you belonged there. like the world had always meant for you to be something bigger than him.

the opening chords hit. slow. aching.

he didn’t breathe. he couldn’t breathe.

“ooh, still you take up all my mind

i don't even think that you care like i do

i should stop, heaven knows i've tried”

his fingers twitched around the drink in his hand.

no. no— this wasn’t about him. couldn’t be.

“one day, i will stop falling in love with you

some day, someone will like me like i like you”

his heart gave a hard, bitter twist.

don’t do this, he thought. don’t make this real.

“she’s so good,” MC whispered, leaning in, smiling like it was nothing more than a simple romantic song.

but it wasn’t just a song.

it was a confession.

and he was the one you were confessing about.

because he remembered— every line, every word you were wrapping in melody. he remembered the nights you waited up for him, the way you’d look up with that stupid soft smile, like he was worth something. he remembered your laugh against his shoulder, your fingers running through his hair, how easily you believed he could be better than he was.

he remembered the exact look in your eyes the night he broke it off. confused. gutted.

“was any of it real?”

he didn’t answer you then.

he didn’t have the guts.

but hearing you now— raw, unflinching, shining on a stage he had no place in— it tore something straight down the middle of him.

because the truth was, he never planned to stay. you were just a placeholder. just something warm to curl into while he tried to claw back a love already lost.

but then you held him like it mattered.

and he let you.

he let you love him, soft and stupid and whole, and when it got too real— too deep— he ran. away from you, and to someone else’s arms. and now you were singing like your heart was still cracked in the same place he left it.

and all he could think was—

you were never the rebound.

you were the one.

rafayel

rafayel had always been good at pretending.

tonight is no different— legs crossed, eyes steady and locked into the stage, lips curved upwards like he’s amused by something no one else sees. MC beside him doesn’t notice the way his fingers tap once against the bottle of his water he’s holding. the only crack in the façade.

then you walk onto the stage.

his gaze catches, holds.

he doesn’t blink.

you look good. confident, radiant under stage lights, wearing the passing heartbreak only you could make look effortless. he lets himself drink you in— like art, like sin. but not like you were ever his.

the music starts.

and it’s soft at first. then sharp.

ever lyric you sing, the deeper he sinks.

“that i'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale

i'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet

lead her up the stairwell”

his hand stills.

he feels the sting before he understands it. a line too real. a lyric too close. he knows exactly what night you wrote that from. the studio, dim with lamplight. your legs over his lap. laughter from your throat, hands tangled in his hair.

his sketchbook open on the floor.

he told you that night you were beautiful when you didn’t try. you’d smiled.

and he hadn’t meant it to last.

“she’s so talented her voice is luring all us in, right?” MC says beside him, eyes glittering at your vocals.

he nods once, wordless.

“maybe i was naive, got lost in your eyes

and never really had a chance

my mistake, i didn't know to be in love”

his throat feels tight. his charm— that silk-smooth confidence— it can’t shield him here. not from this. not from the memory of your hand against his chest, the way you asked if he’d ever paint you for real.

he joked. he deflected.

you had a look of disappointment, but you didn’t press.

you never did.

and that’s what cuts deepest.

suddenly, all he can think about is the way you used to look at him like he mattered. how you laughed at his stupid jokes, brought him tea when he stayed up too late painting, how you fell asleep on his couch more times than he could count.

you weren’t her.

and you didn’t know. you had no idea you were the in-between. the stepping stone. the placeholder while he fumbled with his past and convinced himself you weren’t it.

but now he’s here. with her.

and you’re the one he can’t stop looking at.

you’re the voice in his ears, the sand that’s slipping out in his hands, the guilt gnawing at him with every lyric that hits a little too precisely.

he just watches. listens. breathes like it hurts.

because in all his paintings, all his masterpieces—

you were the only one he never signed.

and maybe he didn’t want to admit why.

sylus

sylus doesn’t blink.

the concert hall is dim and you stand in the center like you own it. like you belong there, with thousands watching, hearts bleeding to the sound of your voice.

but it’s only his heart that seizes.

MC beside him leans in, murmurs something about your voice, about how lovely the lyrics are. he doesn’t answer. doesn’t move.

because he knows this song. not by name, not by title.

he knows it because he lived it.

because you wrote it with pieces of yourself he thought you’d never show. and now you’re singing it to a room full of strangers— and somehow, it still feels like it’s meant for him.

“'cause he's moved on while i'm still grievin'

and when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even, even,”

his jaw tightens.

he remembers that night— your fingers on the buttons of his coat, the way you looked up at him like he was worth trusting. like he wouldn’t break it.

he remembers leaving and breaking it anyway.

he told himself it was mercy. that using you was clean, calculated. a transaction. a means to MC. a way to purge the ache in his chest that wasn’t supposed to have your name on it.

“now i’m tryna make sense of what little remains, oh

'cause you left me with no love and no love to my name”

the lyric lands like a knife.

MC doesn’t notice. she’s smiling. content. but it’s not her touch that he remembers. it’s yours.

delicate. reverent. warm.

everything he wanted from her was from you.

and now?

now you’re up there, back straight, voice like velvet. you look untouchable. divine.

but the pain behind your voice— he knows it’s for him.

and it tears through him more than any blade ever could.

his fingers twitch on his knee.

if he closes his eyes, he’ll see you again. not like this. but as you were: bare feet in his chambers, humming off-key, wrapped in his robe, teasing him until he smirked and tugged you closer.

he never meant to keep you.

but he never meant to miss you either.

and yet here he is, staring up at you, hearing the cracks in your voice that no one else hears. the parts where your breath catches. the way you don’t look at the crowd— just above them.

just like how you used to look at him when you couldn’t bear the truth.

he swallows. hard.

he’s never regretted anything.

until now.

caleb

at first, he was fine.

he sat with his arms crossed, half-listening as the venue lights dimmed and the crowd began to hush. MC beside him buzzed with excitement, the kind of giddy warmth that made him smile politely, nod along.

it was just a concert. just a favor.

he told himself he could sit through it. easy.

then the music started. and you stepped out onto the stage.

he tensed, barely. just a flicker of recognition low in his ribs. he hadn’t seen you in months— hadn’t heard your voice in longer. not since…

well. not since he walked away.

but you looked different now. steadier. colder, maybe. not broken— but rebuilt. and he should’ve felt relieved.

he didn’t.

“a friend to all is a friend to none

chase two girls, lose the one”

his brows twitched. the line hit a little too clean.

he brushed it off. coincidence. lyrics were like that. both metaphorical and vague.

but then came the second verse.

“but i knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss

i knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs”

his spine straightened in the chair.

a flicker of heat— shame? discomfort?— settled beneath his ribs, slow and subtle.

MC leaned over, whispering, “wow, this one’s heavy, huh?”

he hummed low in his throat, careful.

but his eyes didn’t leave the stage. because your voice wasn’t just sad— it was honest.

he started watching your hands.

the way your fingers trembled on the mic stand. the way you swallowed hard before the third verse.

you were still angry. still hurt. and he hadn’t even realized how deep the damage ran until he was hearing it in stereo.

“i knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired

and you'd be standin' in my front porch light”

his jaw flexed. he blinked once. twice.

his arms dropped from their folded hold.

god. was this how it felt?

not just guilt— but the realization that you’d suffered in silence. while he convinced himself distance was mercy. that leaving was the right thing. he thought he’d let go of you gracefully. 

but now, watching you up there— raw and stripped down— he saw how ugly his exit had truly been.

MC was still cheering beside him, clapping softly to the beat. she didn’t know. of course she didn’t.

but he knew. now he knew.

and the worst part?

you didn’t even look for him in the crowd.

not once.

as if he didn’t matter anymore. as if whatever pieces of him you still carried had finally been set down for good. he stared up at the stage, heart thudding loud in his ears.

and for the first time since he left—

he wished he hadn’t.

*runs away*

#love and deepspace #lads rafayel #lads caleb #lads sylus #lads xavier #lads zayne #lads x mc #lads x non!mc angst

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savouringmidnights · 22 days ago

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THIS IS SO FUCKING CUTE—

[scenario/drabble] You = me?

LIs react to you/MC showing up to a date dressed exactly like them.

(Genre: Fluff; tw: mild suggestiveness)

SYLUS

You stroll in with a suit jacket worn exactly the way he does- draped like a cape, the crow brooch glinting under the dim ambient light of the restaurant. Sylus raises a brow as he takes in your appearance.

"Kitten," he purrs, standing to pull out a chair for you. "Are you mocking me… or tempting me?" His fingers brush the brooch. "Because if it’s the latter, this game ends with that outfit on my floor."

It sends an electrifying heat coiling deep within you, but you refuse to let your composure slip just yet.

You mimic his posture, chin lifted. "I just wanted to see if I could pull off power better than you."

He laughs, low and indulgent. "Oh, you do."

___

XAVIER

Xavier freezes mid-sip when he sees you in his signature hoodie-and-tee combo, the tea hovering in front of his face as he looks, or rather, stares. His cup clinks when he sets it down.

"You're… me."

You wink, copying his serene smile and slipping into the seat opposite him. "Do I look like a fallen star now?"

He reaches out, fingertips grazing the fabric. "No. You look like everything… everything I love,"

Then- rare mischief flashes. “You'd look even better with me. At my place, in my be-”

“Xavier!” You yelp, stopping him from finishing what he had to say.

He beams at you. “I meant, napping in a hoodie is very comfortable. So we should try it together,”

___

ZAYNE

Zayne’s chopsticks pause over his plate when you slide into the booth, dressed in his go-to all-black attire.

His stare lingers on you.

"…You even got the correct height for the rolled sleeves."

You adjust imaginary glasses. "Based on observational data, this was the optimal outfit for unconventional seduction."

A beat. Then- he leans in, his voice a whisper. "Your confidence interval is 100%."

Your heart flutters in your chest at the way a hint of a smirk grazes his lips.

"Let's eat now, otherwise the soup dumplings will get cold." He says lightly to remind you to sit, picking one up with practiced ease and placing it into your bowl.

His gaze for the rest of the evening is weighted with a certain intensity, one that promises more to come, once you return home with him.

___

RAFAYEL

“Hey Rafayel,” you greet, your hand brushing his shoulder lightly as you walk in from behind him. “Sorry I'm late,”

There's a short beat of silence.

Rafayel's butter knife clatters onto the plate. "Is that-? Are you? ME?!"

You do a spin, the white fabric flowing around you. "Who else?"

He springs up, hands fluttering over your hair and outfit. "Oh, Miss Bodyguard you look absolutely stunning- wait, do a pose! Pose like I do!"

You flick your hair and angle your shoulder to pose. His jaw drops.

"I’m OBSESSED! This is art!" He declares.

Then, suddenly, he takes your hands into his. His tone turns serious as he asks you softly. "But you have to tell me. Am I also art to you, Miss Bodyguard?”

You grin at him. “Of course, you're the true embodiment of art itself,”

He preens, bringing your hand up and pressing a soft kiss to the back of your hand. Then another, and another, until you almost have to physically sit him back down on his chair and remind him to stop the PDA and eat.

---

CALEB

Caleb chokes on his water when he sees your handmade sweater. He turns away quickly, coughing and spluttering into his elbow before he spews water all over the fancy steak frites on the table.

You make it to the corner table, a small little alcove that has an L-shaped sofa bench against the wall. With him being closer now, you can see that pink tinges the tips of his ears as he clears his throat. "You- you made this? For our date? For me?"

You mimic his shy grin, sliding your bag off your shoulder as you slide into the plush bench, knees touching his. You stretch out your arm so that he can admire your handiwork. "Just a bit of stitching with ready-made items. Had to match my favorite person."

His hands hover, like he’s afraid to wrinkle it. "I… I love it.. And the sweater paws- pipsqueak, that should be illegal,”

“Too cute to handle?” You tease.

He pinches your cheek, then squishes you in a tight hug. “Never, pipsqueak.”

His heartbeat says otherwise.

#love and deepspace #lads sylus #lads xavier #lads caleb #lads rafayel #lads zayne #love and deepspace imagines

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savouringmidnights · 30 days ago

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Not him pulling a-

(Ps: PLEASE I CAN’T HELP BUT RELATE THIS TO MEAN GIRLS—)

#love and deepspace #lads sylus #lads rafayel #lads caleb #lads xavier #lads zayne #lnds caleb #lads x mc #love and deepspace sylus #lnds post #lnds x mc #lnds sylus #lads new chapter #mean girls

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savouringmidnights · 2 months ago

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I bow down to you and thank you for this masterpiece, dear creator.

It's ladsyuriweek so have these design of the LIs as girls (especially fond of xavier but yk)!! ❤️

#artists on tumblr #lads #love and deepspace #lads yuri week

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savouringmidnights · 2 months ago

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Dinner is served nom nom nom…

~🌙

apparently caleb jiejie is NOT very fond of men...

femme caleb after butch caleb... they are eating my brain

#love and deepspace #lads x reader #caleb x mc #caleb x reader #lnds caleb #caleb love and deepspace #ladsyuriweek

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savouringmidnights · 2 months ago

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YURI!

butch fem!caleb i need u so bad jiejie

(i didn't know there were prompts and just drew fem!caleb for lads yuri week LMFAO 😭)

#love and deepspace #lads x reader #caleb x mc #caleb x reader #ladsyuriweek #caleb love and deepspace

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savouringmidnights · 2 months ago

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He is so cosy…ahh!

~🌙

#love and deepspace #l&ds fanart #lads rafayel #artists on tumblr #l&ds mc #l&ds rafayel #l&ds

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savouringmidnights · 3 months ago

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Hello, this is just gonna be me ranting for a while…

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

I swear when I got this text from him I squealed so hard…like I cannot simply express in words how much Love this single text message conveys in regards that Zayne isn’t always the type to send emojis (I’m considering stickers to be different). Plus it so softly yet strongly portrays how far they’ve come along in their relationship…I mean when I sent the sticker I expected idk something else but not a heart…it’s like we’re used to seeing and receiving multiple hearts from Rafayel…but Zayne hit hard….I cannot explain but it did…

I can only hope that he was all mushy-blushy in his office or at the canteen, trying to hide his face or something…

All I could remember was how his perception of MC’s and his relationship had changed over time…

“…Someone I like”

“I’ll never let the girl I love be brave on her own…”

Like it just shows the amount of affection they’ve built with the passage of time and the relationship they’ve finally established…And the fact that he smiles more now, shares more with her…the intimacy even though he is very much to himself compared to the other boys…but one can see and tell the intimacy between him and the MC…it’s so soothing and comforting…

Like you know, they’re like a cup of hot chocolate on a winter evening/night, while you’re cuddled up with your beloved in bed, talking for hours and hours, as if the passage of time didn’t bother the two of you…

These tiny and small gestures of love and affection can mean the world to many…

I can’t, how is he such a green flag??? Need a Dr. Zayne in life TT~TT

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

#love and deepspace #lads zayne #lads xavier #lads sylus #lads rafayel #lads caleb #lads x mc #lnds zayne #UGH! Dr.Zayne the man you are #love and deepspace zayne #lads ZayneMC #Zayneeeeeeeee

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savouringmidnights · 3 months ago

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🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

Ode To Her

(A Love and Deepspace x Non!Mc Reader fic)

(TW: Angst)

(Word count: ~2.7k)

🌟 Disclaimer: If the following trigger warnings or the general genre of the fic make you uncomfortable, then please do not proceed ahead, thank you! 🌟

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

(Image Credits: Pinterest)

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

(Guide:

Colour codes—Pink and bold is used for MC

Blue and bold is used for Zayne

Yellow and bold is used for Xavier

Green and bold is used for Caleb

Red and bold is used for Sylus

Purple and bold is used for Rafayel.

Mixed/Multiple colouration stand for multiple characters at the same time, as to be followed by the colour code given)

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

(GIF Credits: Pinterest)

Ode to Her, who intermingles and entangles the fragile webs (of our lives that) we weave.

Ode to Her, who leisures around with the fabrics (of realities), knitting them up together into a bewitching rag or even a hideous robe.

Ode to Her, who along with Lady Luck composes symphonies and dissonance.

Ode to Her, who creates the Illusio of choice and free will.

Ode to Her, who makes YOU believe to be the creator, when all you are is a mere follower…

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

Time had flown like violent waves coursing through a stormy ocean. It felt as if eons had passed by, leaving a barren field behind, which once bloomed with the blossoms of Happenstance.

Happenstance? That’s right, that’s how you’d met him all those years ago, three to be exact.

If you take a tour down memory lane, it will all flash right in front of your eyes as if you were watching a high definition movie…

🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬

You’d moved to Linkon City with hopes of something long forgotten but mainly for, continuing your passion for writing. When you were younger, you too wanted to pursue a career path in becoming a Deepspace Hunter, having a really strong affinity towards the profession. But upon growing up further, your past dream had slowly shrouded within the neural networks of your brain.

Life in Linkon was moderately hard, with the occasional Wanderer outbreaks and Hunters reaching the designated area on time for action, saving civilians. You admired them, you admired them from the depth of your Heart…you wanted to write about them, but you barely found the words to do so.

It left you frustrated and up late every night…only for the next day to continue as a torturous loop of boredom. Not even three months in the City, you were already bored…

You wanted a wish…a wish to be granted…a wish to cure your boredom…and you wanted write all over again…

You wished for it.

Three weeks into the beginning of your third month in the City, you meet someone, you never knew would play such a significant role in your life.

You met her…

MC was her name. She was a new Hunter at the Hunters’ Association but ever so skilled and compatible. A strong, independent woman; someone you soon grew close with.

It was a coincidental occurrence.

You were at Destiny Cafe, a favourite place of yours added to your recency list, when Fate did Her magic.

She was sat at the table alongside Tara,

(who was a ray of sunshine, a pure soul, her colleague and friend, one she’d made at the Association.)

As time flew, hangouts and sleepovers became more common, mostly happening at hers, Tara would often join the two of you, but if she didn’t it was the both of you…

The two of you could spend hours talking and talking, as you’d ask her about her day and missions, taking inspirations for your work, while she’d about the stuff you wrote.

“Ode to Her, who intermingles and entangles the fragile webs (of our lives that) we weave.”—your first wish was granted.

….

Two weeks into the middle of your fourth month in the City,

Perchance You were out with MC and Tara at the Kitty Cafe, playing several rounds of the Advanced Mode of Kitty Cards—

Perchance one evening to Azure Square at that one bakery that MC had told you about, to feed your craving for Macarons—

Perchance on the way to MC’s apartment when you almost run into her upstairs neighbour—

Perchance at a local Casino to feed your thirst for a game of Blackjack—

Perchance out an art store, where hung a pretty wooden board containing the symbolisms for each colour—

When you’d first met him.

There was no verbal exchange, just the meeting of gazes for the very first time.

Later that night, your heart had already started skipping beats from the encounter, your mind started creating scenarios of your second meet, if there was any to come. You hoped for it…

You wished for it.

You wrote about it. Told MC a few days after…Her face lit up, she knew him. Oh?

He was an old friend?

her primary care physician?

a colleague at work?

someone she works as a bodyguard for?

a fruit vendor?

She asked if you wanted to formally meet him. You nodded.

So you did.

at her apartment, when she’d called you over two evenings later.

at Akso Hospital when he was on his lunch break, she’d taken you to.

at the beach, she called him over.

at the Karaoke place, she told he’d like.

It was awkward as heck, what would you have said? That ‘Hello I am the girl you made eye contact with days ago.’, you were nervous.

Maybe he sensed that, he spoke first, he remembered you. You smiled.

The weeks passed, growing with them the bonds of the new friendship that you had been gifted with. The two of you would often meet up almost everyday if time permitted…but you would…

Sometimes with MC, sometimes without her.

You cherished your times spent with him, they made you feel special…a little bit too special, that your heart would strum along the strings a melody, you were oh-so utterly familiar with…but you didn’t want to hurry…

As the saying goes, “Slow and Steady, wins the race.”

Each night you’d return home, stare up at the ceiling giggling like a teenage girl with a crush.

A Crush…!

Plus you’d blame him for making you fall…

How dare he remember your favourite flower,

your favourite colour,

your favourite song,

your favourite food,

the things that make you smile or ick…

He knew the ways of your little world better than your own comprehension.

All so crystal clear, within just a matter of months…

You were bound to fall…and you did…

You fell hard…

“Ode to Her, who leisures around with the fabrics (of realities), knitting them up together into a bewitching rag or even a hideous robe.

Ode to Her, who along with Lady Luck composes symphonies and dissonance.”—your second wish was granted.

….

A year and a half had passed since you met him…and you were down bad for him…

In Every star cluster in the night sky,

Every flower blooming and blossoming in a garden making it rich,

Every flake of the gentle snow which landed upon your nose,

Every ray of the Sun that caused the ripples of the Sea to glimmer,

Every winning gamble-

-you saw him.

You envisioned him, by your side…hand in hand for as long as Space-Time marks it’s existence.

You wanted him to be happy…

You wished for it…

Your pages were diluted in his essence, as if every word you wrote was written for him…

Did he even had the hint of what went on within yourself?

Perhaps.

Did you want him to know?

Perhaps.

Would you ever tell him about it?

Perhaps.

But did the two of you hush out your deepest secrets with each other over call in the silence of the nights?

Absolutely.

“Perhaps…”

It was a word that shrouded it’s true pose from you for a long time.

A word that created the illusion of bliss over your story like a veil.

It was not sooner or later when you had finally been able to snip your way out of the veil…witnessing the harsh truths of reality…

You started noticing him and MC together more over the weeks, observing their conversing patterns… You had asked him, countless of times, if he was sick…if he was alright…if he was okay…but to no use, he would always divert the conversation, so you eventually stopped.

You knew about his past, he had told you…hence,

You would see saw how his eyes would illuminate as if they held constellations behind.

You would see saw the colours and hues that would splatter over the canvas of his face.

You would see saw the easiness in his body language whenever she was near.

As if it was all meant to be…

Each day became a new lesson upon the ways of the unfair world, each night a review of the same.

Confrontation is never an option when it’s the people you consider home.

And what would you confront about?

When you could see the Alchemy of their amalgamations transcend to the cosmic levels, it was as if the Universe had made them a pair, a bond. Eternally bound to each other.

If the word ‘Soulmates’ held ground, they would be the Altar which it stood upon.

Such was the strength of their unity…

It hurt, hurt like anything to accept this epiphany that you had come across…but did you have a choice?

How could you ever compete with what the Cosmos had set in stone…

So what did you do? You wrote about it…you wrote and wrote like there was no tomorrow, every night, all night…at least it took off a minute-fraction of the load that your heart had to carry…

Of course you didn’t stop talking to either of them or cancel meet-ups…well not with her…

With him however, you started growing a bit distant, often cancelling your usual meetings…you needed the space to get a grip on yourself…

You always covered it up over text, just like you masked off every single emotion from your external appearance…

It was on you, upon you, your fault for you had termed your third wish in the wrong way…you should’ve been selfish, not caring for his happiness…but what’s done is done…

His happiness was your happiness…

Her happiness was your happiness…

Even so this happiness was a curse,

You were happy.

The funny thing was that, the more heartbroken you got each night, the more creativity painted herself with words onto the canvas of your notepad…

So you brain came upon a gentleman’s agreement with your broken heart, a business deal if you may describe it as…your broken heart would provide the flow of emotions to the brain which in turn oozed out your creativity; while your heart would feel the weightage of the load lessen even if it meant by fractional amounts…

And what did you do? You let yourself bask in the Status Quo.

“Ode to Her, who creates the Illusio of choice and free will.

Ode to Her, who makes YOU believe to be the creator, when all you are is a mere follower…”—your third wish was granted.

🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

——————————————————————————————

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

Ode to Her, who intermingles and entangles the fragile webs (of our lives that) we weave.

Ode to Her, who leisures around with the fabrics (of realities), knitting them up together into a bewitching rag or even a hideous robe.

Ode to Her, who along with Lady Luck composes symphonies and dissonance.

Ode to Her, who creates the Illusio of choice and free will.

Ode to Her, who makes YOU believe to be the creator, when all you are is a mere follower…

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

Oh he cannot form sentences about the way his heart soared with elation when he met her again, in this lifetime,

for the first time…

His heart thumped loudly within his chambers, as if it were banging against a locked door, pleading to be let out, set free…If he’d ever known Love, then it was because of her existence that he understood the concept of Love.

She was the Destiny to which he elected to be Eternally bound. The connection they shared was beyond the mortal realm, transcending to the reaches even beyond metaphysics. It was Cosmic, he knew it, he felt it. It was the Universal Truth.

Hence why he felt desolate from within when she didn’t recall the past…the “Them”, that he carried on evermore in every one of his lives. He will continue to do so for eons to come.

Whatever she needed—time, familiarity, he was ready to give it to her. After all he was hers and she was his, they were an amalgamation…

Besides what Love wasn’t obsessive, sacrificial, a misconstrued treachery, or chastised.

So he waited, like he always had…

….

His days had grown monotonous without her memory.

‘When will she remember?’, was the fundamental thought that occupied his state of peace…

A change of scenery was much needed from this cyclic motion of work-life.

So he went, out for a stroll one fine evening.

Maybe he found out from his ‘trusted sources’ who sent notifications every second from her phone to his, that MC was at the Kitty Cafe along with some friends, playing several rounds of the Advanced Mode of Kitty Cards. Plus he needed to make sure she was with good company, after all he was only looking out for her—

Maybe he took a turn towards that one bakery the both had often ventured to satisfy their cravings for sugar—

Maybe he wasn’t a fan of his pre-planned stroll and instead made his way towards MC’s apartment when someone almost bumped into him. Letting out a flurry of sorries—

Maybe at a local Casino—

Maybe passing by an art store, where hung a pretty wooden board containing the symbolisms for each colour. He stopped by to judge them of their mistakes—

When his eyes met new ones, he’s never seen you before.

Maybe you were a new friend of hers, maybe even a stranger? Or an acquaintance? Whoever you are, it was of no concern to him…

….

A phone call was unexpected the very next evening, but not unwelcome. Infact he strived to hear her voice in some way or form, every single day of his being. She wishes to officially introduce him to her new companion? Oh?

Again unexpected. But if that’s what her wish was then it’d be his command. Although he was a bit hesitant upon meeting this mysterious person…majorly because he heard her go on for hours about how the two of them had gotten closer in just a matter of months.

She was sly, never mentioning the gender of this new ‘companion’ of hers. Maybe she enjoyed keeping him shrouded in half-truths.

What was his response? Yes of course. As if he could ever say No to her.

She’d assigned him a place for the meet-up along with the date and time, told him not to be late.

It was another dusk hour on a Sunday,

at her apartment,

at their assigned bakery they often go to, for replenishing their sweet teeth, well mostly his,

at the beach,

at the Karaoke place,

…You again?

Well at least it wasn’t a guy

You seemed awkward of the situation at hand, he could sense your nervousness scattered all over your features, profoundly. He wasn’t any big of a fan of first-impressions, but maybe a part of him wanted you to ease up…so he spoke up first, he remembered you.

He could see you heave a big sigh of relief internally at his words of consolation. You smiled…

The prescribed time soon had passed, enveloped within getting to know each other, while MC would often chime in to restore/uphold the fluency. He got to know considerable amounts of informations about you. You? A few adding onto the context of what you had already gathered from MC…

It was pleasant.

Days to weeks, weeks to months,

When had the Rendezvous metamorphosed into simple Hangouts, he couldn’t recall…

It started with the three of them when the familiarity was still in it’s budding stage…then slowly over time, the need for a watched maintenance of your fluency became discretionary,

for there bloomed beautifully the bonds of this new friendship, which got nurtured through your affection and dedication each day…making it grow stronger…

Hangouts became often (sometimes she would be there…sometimes not), almost everyday if permitted by time. If not? You’d substitute through calls and texts..

….

Time felt as if moving in a slow pace after ages of being driven with constraints and limits…here was none…

Things felt natural…innate with you, like the gentle breeze on a calm spring night, or the heavy shower accompanying a stormy day…

Like every phenomena in nature, often overlooked but are daily and recurring…

He couldn’t quite put his finger around it…yet…

He forgot to keep track of the exact moment when he

Started paying attention to the posters you hung above your bed—

Or the way you would try to stand your pen upright on your desk when your mind would wander off while writing—

Or the way you would duplicate multiple tabs on YouTube, each one filled with a specific song or mixed genres, while you would try resonating with it, to incorporate the same into paper—

Or the collection of hair ties that you possessed—

Maybe even the pre-existing tiny dent on the wall above your kitchen counter, which you said you would cover up with something but keep forgetting—

Maybe it was the way you’d smile everytime he was within your proximity—

Or the virtual hug you’d send him through your collection of cute bunny, crow, apple, snowman, artsy birb, stickers, every time before he went to bed—

Maybe it was the way your eyes would stare into his whenever he was over at you place and you were thinking of how to go forth with your words on paper—

Or everytime the two of you would be out, and you would feel like a breath of fresh air—

Soon he found himself accustomed to the ways of your world,

What made you ick or inspired,

Your favorites:

The certain colour of paint , or mixture gradients he’d use on his canvas that made you filled with joy, so he’d restructure his paintings like such—

The symbolism that each of the Cards and their Suits held within the deck of 52, making you speak on and on about them for hours, over text or via voice message at 3a.m—

Late night outings to go stargazing at the park, sitting on the plain grass, while you ask him about the different constellation…maybe just maybe while doing so, your head slowly tilts down to lay comfortably upon his shoulder—

How it became a regularity for you to visit the hospital every late night he got off of work, with a 6packed box of strawberry flavoured macarons…well two for each night on a row for three days, following the similar pattern for two weeks. Then came a gap for the next two weeks, as the cycle continues…but maybe what he wants to say was that, you’d be the Constant, coming over every night—

Every movie marathon you’ve been having, while he would cook for you. Not to mention how you’d constantly refer to him as ‘Maverick’ and hum along the theme song every time you watched Top Gun…Apparently it was your favourite thing to do, along with constantly complimenting his cooking in Shakespearean English and fumbling often—

Alongside the feeling of a calm warmth flowing through his body…a something else—resembling to fear??? Was slowly nibbling it’s way through his heart.

….

Uh oh…

A year and a half had passed already since he met you? And you had already confide countless of your deepest secrets to him…How could you trust him so much? Why did you trust him so much? Should he do the same…tell you about all his past lives, that haunt every hour of his existence?

Oh no…

The epiphany struck him like a truck when

Every star cluster in the night sky,

Every flower blooming and blossoming in a garden making it rich,

Every flake of the gentle snow which landed upon your nose,

Every ray of the Sun that caused the ripples of the Sea to glimmer,

Every winning gamble-

-he saw you.

Oh…

He had ever so slowly, fallen for you…

Now this filled him with panic,

He was panicking like a madman, like he had never before…

He didn’t know what to do, or how it was even possible for him to fall for someone else when the Love of all his Lives was MC…He needed to talk it out with MC…come up with a solution, something, anything…

All his thoughts and feelings were clogged and cluttered over his brain.

All this time he’d been beating around the bush, trying to press it down into the depths of chambers to be never found again…but somehow the feeling re-emerged, digging through every ground that he wanted to bury it beneath…

He felt like a nomad, like he knew nothing about the ways of the World…like a newborn…

Plus how would he even bring this up to MC, what if she gets heartbroken, or worse…

He couldn’t afford that…

But neither could he mute the sound of his thumping heart for you…

You…

Why did he have to fall for You? Who were you? A no-one till one and a half years ago.

He wouldn’t even have known about your existence if he didn’t meet you by Happenstance that faith-forgotten evening…

He could barely concentrate on work…Everything around him felt like a spiralling vortex and he was trapped inside…

Being the man he is, he somehow let his discomforts escape your radar eventually, after you had asked him over text, call, in-person countless number times, if he was alright…if he was sick…if he was okay…

MC eventually takes notice of this and confronts him…she had never seen him this distressed, calling him over at Destiny Cafe to talk.

Not sure how to go forth with the conversation, he hesitates…

He felt like he was stuck within a soft-lock of the game, his life had reduced to temporarily…

He had two choices,

“Either to abandon his future and stick to what Fate had woven for him eternally.”

“Or venture into the unknown and embrace the beauty of no obligations.”

She initiates.

He eases up…

Finally opening up…

Going on for weeks, he too gets to learn that she was plunged into a similar situation. There’s someone great that she met months ago during a mission, someone she saved…she’s been meaning to tell him but she didn’t know how…

‘They were on the same boat.’

Discussing upon ways how to break something that’s eternal…

Would it cause an anomaly?

Maybe a rift in Space-Time?

Or a breakage in the Universe?

What if the Cosmos punishes them, or worse the person they’ve been doing all this tallying and calculations for…

The risk was high but worth taking…

If it meant they could finally be free from this blessing-turned-curse.

Now came the part where he has to finally admit his feelings for you…

‘This scared him shitless’,

Being tied down to Fate and Eternity to one person was something he was familiar with—something he thought would last for all his lives to come…

But then you appeared, as the anomaly…

Like an error that could make a whole equation go wrong…

A glitch in the fabric of what he thought was Reality…

A new chapter added onto his story…

And he couldn’t wait to write it together with you…

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

——————————————————————————————

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

—To be continued—

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

A/N: This fic was highly inspired after reading the prompt by @chika-seno, so full credits to them, and thank you so much for writing such a wondrous inspiration. Hope you enjoy, the entire fic when it’s finished.

~🌙

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace angst #lads x mc #lads x non!mc reader #lads angst #lads x non!mc reader angst #lads caleb #lads rafayel #lads sylus #lads xavier #lads zayne #lnds x non! mc reader #lnds x mc #lnds caleb #lnds xavier #lnds zayne #lnds sylus #lnds rafayel #lnds angst

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savouringmidnights · 3 months ago

Text

Hi everyone!

Would you all like it if I make this 3am version a series including the other boys too?

Do let me know.

~🌙

“Three hours past midnight”

(A Xavier x Non!Mc Reader fic)

🌟 Disclaimer: If the following trigger warnings or the general genre of the fic make you uncomfortable, then please do not proceed ahead, thank you! 🌟

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

TW: Angst,

Slight implications of Lemon

Heavily written from the Reader’s perspective

🌟 Disclaimer: If the following trigger warnings or the general genre of the fic make you uncomfortable, then please do not proceed ahead, thank you! 🌟

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Three hours past midnight…

It is often termed by many as the witches’ hour,

Although that wasn’t the only expression you’ve come across throughout the days of your existence.

‘Devil’s hour’, ‘time of pure evil’, ‘juncture in time bridging the world of the spirits with the world of the mortals’, yada yada; were among the many.

Initially when you were little, you too would be scared of the monster underneath your bed, or the hand that would come to reach out from behind the mirror….but

Being blessed with Insomnia, you slowly learnt to co-exist among the forces.

Maybe your amity with these forces proved to be stronger than those of the universe,

Resulting in your encounter with a certain Deepspace Hunter, sleeping amongst the bushes, the earth providing him with a humble sack…

“Umm…”, your nightly stroll was successfully done for…

But being a honest samaritan, you couldn’t leave him be there…so you got down to your knees and gently shook his arm…

No response.

“Umm excuse me, mister”,

No response.

You continued your motions for several minutes, when finally tickling a leaf against his nose did the job.

“Huh…?”, his voice seemed as soft as the fluffy clouds above…

“Hello hi sorry for waking you up but…you’re literally sleeping on the grass?”

He groaned, rubbing his eyes, as he slowly stretched and sat up…

“Sorry…I got drowsy…”

You nodded sympathetically, you couldn’t relate…

“Where do you live? I can help you get there or if it’s far away you can stay the night at mine…it is 3 in the morning after all…”

“Hmm?”

“I said—”

“No I heard you…well I live few blocks away…”

“Well then…you’re welcomed to rest the night at mine…”

“…”

“As long as you’re not a criminal or robber or—”

“Xavier. Deepspace Hunter working under the Hunters’ Association.”, he cut you off speaking up.

You nod, “(Name). I work as a—”, you stop as you catch him dozing off while standing…huh…

“Wait wait wait! Don’t doze off here again!”

….

Three hours past midnight…

Your lips always curl up at the reminiscence of that night when you’d first met your now boyfriend…who would whether or whether not given the chance could fall asleep anywhere and everywhere, regardless of the consequences…

You let out a silent giggle remembering the midnight you’d confessed to him your feelings, right after several months of hangouts and meet-ups…

Upon returning back home, you’d call him like usual interrogating about his day and work…your conversation would only carry on further if he’d give you the green signal that the Wanderers weren’t annoying stressful that day…let’s say every night you got that green signal…

What would you do? You would yap on about your day, while he would listen listen listen…

“Xavi…did you fall asleep?”

“Perfectly awake my star…”

Oh did you forget to mention about the nickname he’d given you….the one that made you believe you were celestial…

you would internally squeal each time he would call you so…

Anyways…so after you were done going on about his and yours day…you let out the buildup inside your heart…

“Xavi…I need to tell you something…”

“Anything my star…I’m all ears…”

“I think…”

“I think I’ve fallen for you…fallen in too deep…”

And it was true…you were far gone…

Silence coursed through the call…you tensed…did you mess up?

“X-Xavier…?”

*tring*

The call died…

So did a big part inside of you…

Had you messed up that bad…you just wanted to confess to him…just—

*Knock. Knock. Knock.*

You looked through the peephole, before opening

“Xavier—mmf…”

He kissed you…the kiss that made you feel the energy of a million stars…

….

Three hours past midnight…

He was so silly

He was so soft

He was so sweet

He was so yours…

Looking up at the ceiling, as your eyes trail back to his sleeping form on the right side of your bed…the one which had become his second favorite spot for slumber.

Who would be able to tell apart such a peaceful and innocent face that he was one of the most skilled Deepspace Hunters of the Association…

Yet he possessed his weaknesses, he couldn’t get a single plushie from the Arcade and which would always leave him frustrated every time you had Arcade dates…his insistence surpassed your advices everytime, deeming the same result each time…

To calm him down? All it took was a soft kiss on the cheek, and a few words of affirmation.

Of course he knew you were an insomniac and he’d worry his pretty head about you each night, so he thought he should make you some hot milk, maybe it would help you…

He was super insistent…and all you could do was pray…pray that your kitchen lives to see the light of the upcoming day…

“…”

“The milk wasn’t supposed to spill all over, now was it Xavi?”

“…”

“…No…”

You sigh as the both of you clean up the disaster that was now your kitchen…

“This is the reason why I tell you to not touch anything in a kitchen…but who listens to me…you even burned yourself Xavier! What am I to do to you—”

Your words died out, as you felt warmth settle around your waist, holding you securely in place…

“You have no right to scold me my star…I was only looking out for you…”

Kisses glide down your neck traversing towards your shoulders, as if dew drops trickling down a leaf stalk…

….

Three hours past midnight…

Strong arms lift you up in bridal style carrying you to the haven you two had built within those four walls of your bedroom…

“Mm… *kiss* Xavi… *kiss* the kitch- *kiss*”

“It will survive…now I want your entire attention on me…”, that was your man…always jealous of the little things in your life, whenever you’d value them more than him…how dare you…

He was so gentle, so soft so fluffy looking…he played the innocence card very strategically using his face…who could tell otherwise right? But you knew…you knew he was anything but pure…

Flopping you down onto your bed, his mouth crashed against yours once more, his tongue soon finding homage inside of the warm cavern of the inside of your mouth while his hands carry out their own artistic endeavour down all over your body…finally reaching their destination once he pulls down the straps of your night-dress ever so delicately, the cold breeze of the outside creeping through your skin from outside you closed off windows…His other hand continue it’s exploration down to your thighs, spreading then apart, as he massages them…

Soft sinful moans of pleasure spill out of your lips as your hands secure around his neck…but your lips never leave his, as if caught up in a deadlock…You palms slowly descend down to his shirt, unbuttoning each hastily and carelessly…you needed him…his own hands soon join helping you discard the fabrics which constrained both your bodies…

He broke the kiss to breathe, breathe for the both of you for you had forgotten what perception was, being so lost within each new sensation provided to you by him…the ecstasy that made you feel one with the Earth…

Had you confided within yourself, how much illumination your Light Evolver brought into the dark nights of your soul? You two were the pinnacle of the famous saying ‘opposites attract’. Your beliefs of the Earthly forces being ever so stronger than those of the Universe proved to grow stronger…you didn’t want anything that transcended you to the beyonds…all you wanted was to become one with the Earth, the absolute holism he brought upon your life…Opposites yet so alike…. ‘He was Sunshine while you were Midnight Rain…’

a melody as grounded and pure as Nature herself…

….

Three hours past midnight…

Who would have known Fate, Herself would descend down upon the Earth, directly into the new beginning of your chapter, pulling her strings to work…

You met her today…she was a relatively new Hunter who had joined only a month ago…yet her skills knew no bounds…

She was honeyed like the warm breeze during the Spring,

She was as fresh as a newly bloomed delicate flower—as charismatic as the Golden Hour of the Evening…

She had made you drawn to her with just one conversation…

How did you meet? Well you used good friends with Tara from before she joined at the Association she wouldn’t stop gushing about her partner and her talent…that’s how sweet she was…

But one thought which kept gnawing it’s way through your heart and mind was…

‘How come Xavier never told me about her…he does tell me of everything about his day and work…’

Not like he was bound to or anything to you…no…

Maybe they aren’t close enough, yet.

but…you couldn’t figure out the unsettling feeling that started blooming inside of your heart…

Where did you meet? A few evenings back, at Destiny Cafe.

….

Three hours past midnight…

They get paired up for almost every mission, or he would suggest he should accompany her. Their bond seemed to be strengthening, it was a good thing…you always wanted your boyfriend to get along with his colleagues as well as possible…

He has become busier than ever…

Weeks pass, so does a month…everything begins so gradually. The calls start to become less, so do the texts…Dates cease to exist, he doesn’t come over anymore…

There was always one reason…

“I’m sorry my star I’m too tired after today’s mission, cannot keep my eyes open for too long…”

“Miss U.”

“Promise U will meet up soon later…”

Promises, promises so many promises, piled up, stack after stack, all of them failed to get executed…

Still you hold onto them…

hold onto something hollow…

….

Three hours past midnight…

You lay up alone in your bed, basking in the coldness of your epiphany…

What epiphany you ask? It was the sudden illumination, forcefully introduced by the universe into the warm darkness of your nights…

You were at Destiny Cafe this evening, for a cup of coffee, where you saw the two of them together. Maybe they were discussing about a mission? Maybe status reports of the previous day? How come he didn’t tell you he’d be out…you’d texted him earlier…

He said he was busy. Busy for you, but not for her…when will he come to visit next? All sorts of thoughts seemed to clutter up together inside of your mind…

…They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul…is that why when you saw his, your whole world suddenly seemed to come to stop? You cannot explain the warmth and color that emerged from the depths, of his being.

The empty galaxy within his eyes get slowly suffused with constellations of stars.

Each one holding a significant message.

Every time she would talk or chat or speak…

It was nothing like you’d ever witnessed or experienced first hand.

Were you overthinking? Or were you just devoid of thoughts?

….

Three hours past midnight…

Time was eternal yet relative, is that why it seemed to loop along the curvature of the broken record player that you’d been reduced to, ever so slowly? Each day had become a realisation factor of the equation the two of them seemed to hold out to you, for you to solve…Alas you were only a writer, so you phrased them using your thread of words, sewing pages upon pages, until the fabric of reality was ready to be worn by you…

You witnessed the way she’d transformed the barren planet of his heart (which you never knew existed) with the beautiful blossoms of life, colour and seasons. The love he held behind his eyes for her was cosmic…as if it has been deep-rooted throughout centuries waiting for the perfect moment to be poured out and the moment was now. You saw how perfectly the colors of his soul blended with hers, every hue and gloss intermingling with one another ever so perfectly, as if it was meant to be…

You’d lost track of the time since he stopped calling you ‘his star’, you weren’t that, never, it was all a hoax…you were a ‘failed star’. You never knew much about how the forces of the universe functioned, forever afraid of the flight that may crash you down upon the rough hard ground of reality, hence you’ve always been too grounded to Earth, in that way gravity could never hurt you anymore right?

But now that you saw them, it was as if seeing the cosmos was celebrating the union of the souls, without whom She had been so long shrouded within the darkness of the nights…

The darkness which you’d (once) embraced and loved.

….

Three hours past midnight…

You’d drank a lot tonight.

You hated her.

Hated her guts, for stealing the light of your life.

You hated the fact that you could simply and truly never loathe her and her friendship…and how significant they had shaped to be in your life…

You hated the fact that you were one with the dark nights.

You hated the audacity of Fate to mingle with the strings of your life as if it were Her story.

You hated that you had to be forced in the concept of ‘Soulmates’.

You hated how the two of them were the epitome of that meaning.

You hated how their existence even surpassed the Metaphysical realm of beliefs.

“You hated how you longed for your forgotten trysts.”

“You hated every fatal fantasy that creeped through your mind.”

“You hated how you’ve done each of them with him all in your head.”

“You hated how it paved the way to your laboured breaths, every night.”

You hated how he would not even remember you anymore or have the minute decency to even call you up or text you.

You hated because you knew it wasn’t true, and the amount of times he’d tried to reach out before it all faded to the point of exhaustion.

You hated how you dissociated yourself from their lives, letting them live as the Universe had wished for.

You hated how his voice would ring in your ears every morning, day, evening and night and all you could do was weep…weep and weep…

You hated how you often you weeped in the coldness of your bed, alone with no one to hold onto.

You hated that your bed wasn’t his second favorite place of slumber any longer, but it was her apartment.

You hated how you’ve lost track of time.

You hated how you longed to understand the ways of the cosmos.

You hated how you wanted to run to him and cry to his chest.

You hated how you wanted yourself to be selfish.

You hated how you wanted him to be happy.

You hated how you wanted to pour yourself out to him, how you wanted to hear along the lines that you were mistaken, utterly mistaken…that he was still yours…that he loved you…

You hate how half of you was still living with a fool’s paradise, embracing every wishful thinking clutching them close to the chambers of your heart so they couldn’t escape…

You hated how the other half was ever so rational, and had achieved it’s closure.

You hated how you’d made him your North Star…but the poles of your World were never a reality.

You loathed how perfectly they fit against each other as if two puzzle pieces, that gave Love and the Deepspace it’s fundamental significance.

….

Three hours past midnight…

You had officially lost the ability of a writer of the story of your life…being reduced to merely a narrator of your own chapters, forced to narrate yourself and only yourself while Fate played with the Story of your Life…

Once again it has been proved that the auspicious forces always stood victorious over the malevolent ones…you remembered the famous saying,

‘History repeats itself, First as a Tragedy, Second as a Farce…’

How foolish of you to believe that the forces of the Universe emerged victorious for they were superior and coerced the other inferior…

How foolish of you to believe in the false amity of these forces you’d been long acquainted with…

The monster underneath your bed re-emerged, so did the hand reaching out to you from behind the mirror…

but they weren’t there to hurt you, they were there to comfort you while you pathetically weeped over the love which you never had.

They felt pity, watching you clutch onto your pillow every night and ‘the planet shaped purple promise rings that you never had the chance to gift to him’…, head buried on his side of the bed, drenching your bed-sheets which used to be once ablaze in his presence…

But you pushed them away…far far away…

It was three hours past midnight…

And you were finally feeling drowsy…

Sleepy…

You wanted to sleep, and sleep and sleep…

It was three hours past midnight…

When you had finally succumbed to the slumber that drowned you into the land of illusions…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

(Credits: ALL GIFs AND IMAGES ARE FROM EITHER PINTEREST OR TUMBLR, NONE OF THEM ARE MINE.)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

(Inspirations from the songs: Midnight Rain and Guilty as Sin by Taylor Swift.)

#love and Deepspace #love and deepspace angst #lads x non!mc angst #lads Xavier #lads caleb #lads zayne #lads sylus #lads rafayel #lads mc #lads x reader

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savouringmidnights · 3 months ago

Text

I cannot truly express in words how absolutely I adore this idea…

It made me think so hard at night that I wanted to come up with something using your concept, all credits to you for making my brain swirl at 3a.m.

~🌙

[Non-MC reader in LADS, kindly block or don't interact if you're not interested]

With the popularity and the angst of the non-mc fics, I just have one idea to propose. Instead of us lamenting about the situation, how about the situation in reverse? Instead of bathing in jealousy, its him who feels inadequate and unable to intervene in your relationship with someone else.

The MLs, tied to some fate they can barely comprehend or remember making at the time is bound to the MC by their actions or through a soulmate like connection. He has no idea how to break it, and how to move forward with you in the picture.

You're probably someone ordinary and new he's encountered in this life. You could be the cashier in a cafe, a receptionist in a clinic, some worker in a seperate division of a museum, an air traffic controller, or an engineer. Either way, you're connected to him through his job or interests, and he starts to fall for you slowly.

You might have felt the same. Or, he might have escaped your radar. At the eventual revelation of each of his pasts, it's clear you're a new connection, a marker of a totally new life he could either move forward in or abandon for the past. The reality scares him shitless, since he has no tie or obligation to make you fall for him and vice versa. You could slip away from him easily, and maybe it would be the last lifetime you two would share as potential lovers.

He talks about it with her too. She's in the same boat, terrified and lost. There's someone nice at her job, someone she met through a mission-gone-wrong. They have no evol, but they make her feel so alive and unrestrained from her past mistakes and present condition. But she worries her baggage might take a toll on them, and they'd eventually leave for someone, never fully comprehending the connection they share.

Regardless of their decision and dedication, it's not long until you eventually show them your new relationship status. Whether it be a ring or a social media post, he's standing in the sidelines with some bastard hugging you close, taking their rightful position by your side.

Can they hold you closely as he could? Could they make you happy? Could they imagine staying by your side until your last breath like he would?

When you talk about them, it's nothing he could absolutely compare to. The way they make you laugh, blush, and feel secured in their presence feels so different from what he can do. He's just some friend you managed to get from a chance encounter. Nothing set in stone, meant to escape from his grasp when you eventually turn away from him.

He feels bitter. He lashes out in different ways but ultimately realizing you should live your life without them in the picture. He looks at you and your significant other, swarming with jealousy at the pretty picture he's not included in. To be with you till the end sounds like a happily-ever-after he has no place in.

In another lifetime, you would be in their place. Lamenting and cursing the world for not giving you their love and dedication. But in this version, he's in your place, doomed to be a bystander.

While there's no guarantee to be with the main character like him, it's not like you're running out of options either. Spared by fate and the cruelty of responsibility, you instead have to move forward in life and in death without him by your side.

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace angst #love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace angst x reader #love and deepspace x non mc reader #non-mc

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