saxifone
saxifone
Gin & Plutonic
10K posts
21. Erynne. Purple elephants🐘
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saxifone · 9 years ago
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“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.
A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.
I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,
“I am the manager.”
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saxifone · 9 years ago
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i think cats can see pokemon
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saxifone · 9 years ago
Conversation
Problems
Child: I have a problem
Parent: Well you CAN'T have this problem because I had this problem in the past only WORSE
Child: That doesn't make any sense. How is MY problem cancelled out by a problem YOU had?
Parent: DON'T SASS ME
Child: But-
Parent: YOU JUST ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE THE LAST WORD, DON'T YOU?
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saxifone · 9 years ago
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saxifone · 9 years ago
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This professor gets extra credit.
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saxifone · 9 years ago
Video
vine
help me bowl o’ rice help me bowl o’ rice help me down those stairs
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saxifone · 9 years ago
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saxifone · 9 years ago
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saxifone · 9 years ago
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saxifone · 9 years ago
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saxifone · 9 years ago
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how the hell do i talk to people
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saxifone · 9 years ago
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the sudden decrease in animation quality between the first hunchback and the sequel is both hilarious and sad 
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saxifone · 9 years ago
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do actors get boners while making sex scenes this is one of the things i’ve wondered my whole life
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saxifone · 9 years ago
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My best friend trusts me so much she gave me her phone and had me sext a guy on her behalf while she’s driving. This is the realest relationship I’ve ever had
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saxifone · 9 years ago
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saxifone · 9 years ago
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anyone else dumb as fuck?
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saxifone · 9 years ago
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