sbfayee - Tumblr blog

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Near to the Wild Heart, Clarice Lispector

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people who only use conventional social media are so funny bc they’ll casually be like “can I see your tumblr??” are you Insane. this is no instagram or twitter. this is my vault of secrets

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How to express tenderness towards yourself

treat mundane activities like grocery shopping as adventures

make playlists for every feeling you can feel

give yourself quiet days to read and pass time slowly

keep a journal, a nonperfomative place to express yourself

reduce your screen time; use your screens mostly for inspiration

create more than you consume

have a place where you can run free and feel the wind rushing

do things that make you happy even if they seem childish

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Audre Lorde, A Burst Of Light

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Traits I’ve Noticed in Confident People 

Disciplined - if a target is set, it is achieved 

Speaking - Can speak multiple languages. Can express thoughts clearly even if vocabulary is limited. The listener understands their point. 

Strong extroversion socially - can approach and talk to new people with ease, but also make them feel comfortable. Good at following up, asking questions and inserting little stories about themselves without exposing too much 

Strong general knowledge / industry knowledge. They know what they’re talking about 

Hard to please but not arrogant about it. They won’t readily accept a fact or opinion, even if the majority agrees - they’ll debate with it, think over it, play the devil’s advocate

Good posture

Strong set of principles and self control. There’s no shame in wanting to say, help someone, choose not to drink socially, buy a coffee for a poor person on the street; they don’t hesitate to do good deeds 

Hygienic. Clean, groomed, well dressed, well maintained. 

Observant and proactive at the same time. Can pick up on body language relatively easily - can sense discomfort or unease in someone and do something about it. 

Have a strong sense of self identity. Can be opinionated but open to challenges. 

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Brianna Wiest, 101 essays that will change the way you think

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“Don’t be afraid, my darling. Luckily, life still loves me enough to never abandon me, and the fact that I even complain about it and revolt against this boredom that is winning me over and this desert where I am struggling is proof of this. What would I have to ask her if I didn’t feel her value in me, her echo near or far? And then… those who are born alive, die alive and I even wonder to what extent life does not go beyond their existence… but where am I going? Forgive me, my love; I am going astray. I just wanted to assure you of something that you never doubted; even at the moments when I feel the deadest soul, a thousand embers are there that fizzle in silence and that all the ice in the world would not reach. These thousand embers, I reserve them all for you. They are waiting for you, as well as the ashes - alas.”

— Maria Casarès to Albert Camus, Correspondance, February 2, 1950 [#165]

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2024 Mood:

If it fucks with my nervous system, it has to go. My peace is my priority.

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The Early Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1920–1923

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I really believe the biggest gift I can give myself as a woman is the freedom to just be out in the world and be obsessed with learning & making & doing things instead of anything internal even though I wasn't raised to be that way at all

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She talks about seducers and femme fatales, about sensual mouths.

Annie Ernaux, excerpt from A Frozen Woman trans. by Linda Coverdale

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Albert Camus, Nuptials (Noces), 1939: Nuptials at Tipasa; from Personal Writings (translated by Ellen Conroy Kennedy and Justin O’Brien)

Text ID under cut

I love this life with abandon and wish to speak of it boldly: it makes me proud of my human condition. Yet people have often told me: there’s nothing to be proud of. Yes, there is: this sun, this sea, my heart leaping with youth, the salt taste of my body and this vast landscape in which tenderness and glory merge in blue and yellow. It is to conquer this that I need my strength and my resources. Everything here leaves me intact, I surrender nothing of myself, and don no mask: learning patiently and arduously how to live is enough for me, well worth all their arts of living.

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Whilst you nourish your body with exercise, slow yoga, nighttime body milk, adorn it with jewellery and sultry perfume, carefully drape it with clothes that fit… don’t forget to nourish your mind. Classical music, podcasts, brain games like crosswords, sudoku, mental math, art even if you’re terrible at it, gardening even if your plants never seem to grow, cooking even if you might burn the house down - embrace learning, embrace curiosity, and enjoy your own company. Be the best wife you could be to your own self first. Care for yourself, defend yourself, grow, teach, constructively criticise yourself; be the best parent you could be to yourself.

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My routine is one thousand words every morning—never fewer, but aiming not to go over by more than 100 words. It’s become a ritual, something I’m oddly superstitious about failing to complete, and it’s made me a more disciplined writer. If fiction writing is the big game, journaling is lifting weights and running laps, or whatever it is athletes do. It purges my brain of stale thoughts so I can write fiction with a clearer channel to my subconscious mind. It “loosens the ligaments,” as Virginia Woolf wrote of her journaling practice. It also strengthens my habit of noticing.

Kate Folk, On Notes to a Future Self: How Journaling Helps Me Write

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There’s power in telling yourself ”no we don’t do that anymore” in response to self destructive urges.

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Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena

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Wherever you are in life, I hope you’re experiencing joy, taking it easy on yourself, and finding peace through the turbulence. You deserve it.