sburbian-sage

[sburbian-sage]

PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK PLEASE COME BACK

I have 11 asks, and a post in the making. An old "somewhat expansive and thorough guide to X" post, like what I used to make.

I could begin replying to asks with snappy, laconic responses, trying to efficiently solve the problem without investigating why this might be the case, or equipping one with the knowledge of how to handle or identify similar cases. But not only would this be a disservice to you, feeding you postslop, it would be a disservice to myself, as I am not a slopchurner. In addition to inviting several follow-up questions or "you misunderstood my ask" sequential nonsense which causes more work for myself.

Unfortunately, I do have a life outside of running this blog, and doubly unfortunately, I've been experiencing a variety of difficulties with it (and not just the "I'm trapped alone in a pod in eldritch space" thing). I'm not dead, but I do have a limited supply of psychic energy to work with. I could force myself to begin chipping away at the backlog, and indeed may have let the cognitive pickaxe get a bit dusty and rusty. But the second "hobby about a topic I'm reservedly passionate about" turns into "obligation to my followers" is the moment I do indeed begin dying.

Speaking of, I do have a ~ATH command running which will, in the case of a non-temporary death on my part, post to all of my social medias informing people of the fact (more people should do this by the way). So if you're worried that I died, don't. And if I decide to hang up my hood, I will also personally in and make a post stating as much. I appreciate the implicit concern on your part, but I am at the end of the day, one bitch, and unlike all the cool kids have not yet had the resources (or desire) to create a robotic simulacra of myself.

Also I tend to create posts and reply to asks in batches. So when I do "come back", I will assemble a small dripfeed so as to not leave the craven, starving masses as craven and starving as they usually are.

[sburbian-sage]

I'm sorry for BEING MEAN TO YOU.

It was wrong because IT DID NOT ADVANCE MY GOALS.

In the future I will PUT FORWARD A DISHONEST FAÇADE OF “POLITENESS”.

Do you forgive me?

there. as YOU CAN SEE, i read THE “sburb etiquette faq”, AND HAVE FOLLOWED IT. you MAY INTERPRET THIS AS A “GESTURE OF GOOD WILL”.

you SEE, WE KEEP GETTING BANNED FROM PLACES, SO IT’S HARD TO FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE TO ASK QUESTIONS. and MY OTHER HALF WONT ASK YOU ANYTHING BECAUSE HE STILL “doesn’t want to bother [you]”. so IT FALLS TO ME. even THOUGH YOU POSTED THAT MESSAGE i accidentally SENT WHERE MY HANDLE LEAKED, WHICH IS BASICALLY ATTEMPTED MURDER.

anyway. the PROBLEM AT HAND:

our SESSIONS KEEP GETTING SHORTER AND SHORTER. as YOU ONCE SAID, A NORMAL SESSION TAKES ABOUT A YEAR. but IT HASN’T BEEN ALL THAT LONG SINCE WE LAST SPOKE, AND i was ON SESSION 5 THEN.

we ARE NOW ON SESSION 12. absurd.

assuming THAT YOU DON’T JUST DISMISS THIS OUT OF HAND (AS YOU OFTEN SEEM TO DO, WHEN i tell YOU ANYTHING UNUSUAL), i desire YOUR “TAKE” ON THIS MATTER.

not BECAUSE i would EXPECT TO AGREE WITH IT ON ANY LEVEL- i’m quite SURE THAT ALL THIS IS SIMPLY A PRODUCT OF MY EVER-INCREASING SKILL AT THE GAME ALLOWING FOR FASTER COMPLETION- BUT MY OTHER HALF HAS GROWN CONCERNED, AND COWERS IN THE FACE OF THE EVER-LOWER NUMBERS WE FIND ON THE RECKONING COUTDOWNS, (NOT THAT WE NEED MORE TIME, AGAIN, i’m skilled. the MANDATORY SPEEDRUNNING ISN’T GETTING TO ME AT ALL.) AND i’m sure HE’LL LISTEN TO WHATEVER REASSURANCE YOU MAKE UP.

with THAT OUT OF THE WAY, JUST WANT TO CLEAR SOMETHING UP WHILE i’m messaging YOU ANYWAY: THE MESSAGE THAT THE knight OF blood SENT YOU BACK THEN WAS utter hogwash! i absolutely DO NOT HAVE ANY SORT OF ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR YOU.

and BESIDES, IF i did, KILLING YOU- AT LEAST INTENTIONALLY- WOULDN’T BE HOW IT WORKS. couldn’t REPRODUCE WITH A CORPSE- OR WITH A HUMAN FOR THAT MATTER.

i mean, EVEN IF YOU WERE A CHERUB, IT WOULDN’T MATTER. if THERE’S ANYTHING ATTRACTIVE ABOUT YOU, IT WOULD BE THE HUMANITY. the SOFT FLESH, THE DULL EYES. not THAT i would DARE DEFILE A HUMAN IN SUCH A WAY! or AM EVEN THINKING ABOUT THAT AT ALL EVER! i’m just SAYING THAT HYPOTHETICALLY THERE COULD BE A KIND OF “EXOTIC” OBJECTIVE APPEAL.

and ANYWAY, IF i said SOME VIOLENT THINGS TO MY COPLAYERS ABOUT YOU AT THE TIME IN MY SLEEP-DEPRIVED, SOCIALLY DESPERATE, REASONABLY PISSED STATE, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN PRIVATE INFORMATION ANYWAY, SO IT SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN DIVULGED TO YOU, AND ANY TRULY MORAL ACTOR WOULD HAVE ALSO NOT PUBLISHED THAT WITHOUT MY CONSENT.

HI… DID my sister contact you again? SHE’S been acting kind of strange and dropped a few hints about it, and uh… WELL, I’M SORRY if she sent you anything weird. I’M ALSO sorry I kind of ghosted you… IT shouldn’t have fallen to my co-player to explain how things worked out back then, but I WAS worried that if I KEPT messaging you, so would she... SHE’S been really anxious lately. WE’RE having this problem where we have less and less time to complete each session. I THINK it’s just coincidence, but she thinks it’s some kind of consequence of us getting better at the game? LIKE, we need less time, so we get less time? IF you have an opinion on this, I’D LOVE to hear it. IT’S hard to ask around- as much as she’s been improving as a person, she’s still abrasive enough to keep getting us banned off of most of the network…

Oh SHIT it's the Cherub siblings again! It's been a while. And to address some miscellaneous points before we dive into the actual meat of the issue.

Cherub Sister, I do forgive you. Not out of kindness, or any personal qualities you possess that make you especially forgivable, because your contempt is still leaking through your words and it's still kind of fucked up that you did that stuff to your brother. However, you are pretty top-tier at banter, and as long as you can keep the causticity to snipes in between actual communication (instead of messaging JUST to be rude), you're cool in my book.

I don't dismiss stuff out of hand unless you say ridiculous stuff at me like "I won the game the door opened and your mom gave me Victory Sloppy". I didn't even believe Cherubs were real at first and I still asked for verification instead of "nuh uh not real". And look at us now, we're basically best friends at this point.

I'm going to take the last four paragraphs as a compliment. I don't know much about how Cherub reproduction works, nor do I think I got a physical description or image of what they even look like, so I can't really speak on much of this, other than that you probably shouldn't be complimenting people on their "exotic" looks because it's somewhat un-PC. Also I agree, we should execute the Knight of Blood.

Cherub Brother, you could never "bother" me. You were always chill with me, and you will continue to be chill with me, regardless of how much of a pain your sister may or not be at any given point.

But now to actually address the issue you're asking me about. And not to immediately sour my newfound friendship with Cherub Sister, but she's absolutely wrong on this matter. With very few exceptions (and none I can think of currently), none of the game's features take into account Player skill or prior experience whatsoever. If it wants to generate a nearly-impossible Session, it will do so regardless of whether said Session is populated by veterans with a double-digit victory count, complete sboobs, or a mix thereof. So your skill is irrelevant, insofar as it isn't causing your current issue. It sure as hell is good at solving it though, so take pride in that.

So now the question is "why is this the case"? I doubt your Cherubhood has anything to do with it. It *did* affect the game at the start, with your not-quite-a-solo Session, but you've been playing with others now. So unless this game is uniquely biased against Cherubs (for some reason???), we can rule that out. And... I've basically hit the limit on how hard I can guess at what's going on. If there *is* some factor that you can account for that would fix the issue, I'm not seeing it, meaning that your Sessions becoming increasingly shorter is either due to A) coincidence, like Cherub Brother thinks, or B) something functionally indistinguishable from coincidence.

The bad news is, I have no way of helping you. The good news is, you may not need my help. Let's say this is a coincidence. It doesn't seem likely to be a coincidence, due to your perspective being "they're getting sequentially shorter", but I see confirmation bias all the time. Look for examples of Seers building "dens", and all of a sudden, every Seer has a den. Humans usually die when shot in the head, but repeat that action an infinite number of times, and there be an infinite number of survivals. That doesn't mean human skulls are particularly resistant to gunshots though. No matter what narrative you try to weave from the objective data, the number of deaths will be a proportionally larger infinite number. Math guys don't @ me and simply understand what it is I'm saying.

Granted, what's currently happening to you is "human gets shot in the head five times, is still alive, now they're reaching for the shotgun", and no amount of "erm actually" and vague gestures at nonexistent statistics stops that from being a bitter pill to swallow. My only point is, until further information can be gathered or provided, the only thing that can be done is surviving the current Session. In fact, whether your time limits go back to normal or shorten again, you still have to survive *this* Session. I think the likelihood that you're being deliberately "challenged" unlikely, but abnormally short or no, having a double-digit Session count is something to be extremely proud of, and it sure as hell indicates you'll be able to answer said challenge. So for now, keep doing what you're doing, while being on the lookout for anything happening in this Session (or previous ones) which might indicate a cause or pattern.

Also, if you want to make sure it's not your level of skill impacting things. Maybe suck a little more? Don't self-sabotage, because dying is bad. But maybe you could afford to cut it a little close, or look demure and beaten-up when your injuries are minor at best. Or at the very least say "AW MAN I DON'T THINK I COULD DO THAT AGAIN, MUCH LESS A SHORTER ONE, I'M NOT *THAT* GOOD" when you're at the Door. The game reads your mind, so this might not work, but it can't hurt to *not* do it, right? Stupider solutions have worked before, I personally have had to manually deactivate and reactivate the ectobiology apparatus to finish Frog Breeding once. Shut just wouldn't intake ecto-slime, and then it did.

[sburbian-sage]

(stupid limits)Its color scheme is (thankfully-opaque) pale blues with a few grays, its symbol is six kites in a vaguely snowflake-ish shape (three outline, three filled in), and its elemental manifestation is crystals. Some of the ability names are related to ice and cold, but that seems to be more wordplay than anything (such as [Keep a Cool Head], a psybuff that pushes the targets' emotions aside to make them look at a situation rationally, which we needed; I rolled Land of Wrath and Silicon)

Is this a riddle? This feels like the second part to an ask I did not receive. A punchline with no set-up. Robin without Batman, but not in a cool Teen Titans way where he has his own thing going on. Also I mean the ORIGINAL Teen Titans. Cartoon Network was eradicated in explosive hellfire when the meteors landed, but they were dead to me before that point, at least as far as their shilling slop was concerned.

Oh yeah, this ask. First of all, good luck with that Wrath Land generation. Don't kill the Consorts when they flip out on you for no discernible reason. Second, if you're looking for more information on your Aspect, the game will surely tell you. As in, someone should explicitly identify your Aspect for you at some point, and you will unlock more abilities which hint at the exact nature of this Aspect. However, we're already identifying rationality and logic (dispelling emotion, and silicon = computers) and focus. "Focus" in the way a crystal might be hit with light and refract it into a single point, and "focus" that shuts out other possibilities (crystallization locking something into place). I dare say there are elements of Mind in here.

All in all, congrats on the new Aspect discovery. Write down any further details, and cross-reference your findings with other niche Aspects to see if you have overlap, or if this is "new" only to you.

Also, thanks to @flambeaufelid for pointing this out. But if you're having trouble with character limits on asks, it's because you're using https://sburbian-sage.tumblr.com/ask. Try using https://www.tumblr.com/new/ask/sburbian-sage and see if that works better. Don't send me the Bee Movie script, also. Or the title of the Bee Movie in Alternia, which is somehow longer.

[sburbian-sage]

HELP, I GAVE MY TROLL SESSIONMATE A CUP OF CHAI TO HELP THEM FEELS CALM (IT ALWAYS HELPS ME). THEY DRANK IT AND BROKE OUT IN HIVES AND HYPERVENTILATED AND THEN FUCKING DIED. I CORPSESMOOCHED THEM AND THEY CAME BACK, BUT WHAT THE FUCKING HELL, HELP ME PLEASE

Damn bitch calm down. I'm not a Troll biologist or a trained doctor or anything that would help you here. I'm not even sure what you want me to do exactly. Are you looking for advice? Don't do that again.

Can any Trolls in the audience confirm if chai tea kills you or if this goober either found an unlucky Troll with a rare allergy, or somehow sipped anthrax into their teacup somehow?

[sburbian-sage]

DurationPrince, in a bit of a tangent...

So listening to your advise, I tried to do some alchemy using some of my games I like and stumbled upon an amazing weapon for me [swordKind Btw]:

Sword & "Detroit Become Human Disc" = Thirium Tipper

Besides looking epic, When I infuse it with the time apsect it allows me to enter indefinite bullet time, without requiring futher effort. It's cool as shit and can stack with other abilities.

Also got a revealsome of an ability I never heard before: [In Another Time].

It basically allows me to channel the power of other mes in different timelines...

So basically what I did to cancel the [Infinite Rage] but controled.

So I think we are ready to finally beat the king, but I'll leave the trump card we came up with hidden for you until we finished him.

So see you later.

I'll never be able to forgive you for owning a copy of Detroit Become Human, but I wish you luck on your battle. Don't die now and make the 50+ asks you sent me worth nothing! You survived a timebubble and a trans-timeline PK attempt, this should be clean-up.

[sburbian-sage]

I don't think I want to escape the game anymore.

I have my roles, and I fill them. At this point I can practically autopilot through most sessions.

I have no idea what I would do, if I could actually live in a universe I created. The game teaches you some stuff about governance and economy and whatnot sometimes, to prepare you, but it doesn't feel like enough.

Actually setting up a civilization, ruling over it as a god- hell, even just participating in it as a normal citizen- just sounds somehow both overwhelming and boring at the same time now.

What do I do, if the door ever does work?

"I don't think I even WANT to escape the game at this point" threads happen seemingly every other week. However, this template vent post is a bit more unique, because it actually does raise a question a lot of people wonder about. "Once I create a new universe, what do I do with it".

First of all, I can tell you what NOT to do.

Get your hopes up lmao. If the Door does start working it's not happening anytime soon.

But if it ever does happen, post shit like this. Don't do it if the Door works for everyone, because you will immediately identify yourself as a contrarian, a half-dead wanderer in the desert who finally found an oasis and has the gall to complain about it. DEFINITELY don't do it if the Door works for you alone. I want you to imagine, thousands of people suffering in Purgatory forever, sometimes falling into Hell and never returning. When ONE guy makes it into Heaven and starts bellyaching about how the grass was greener. Sometimes we can keep our thoughts to ourselves. Someone is already yelling at you for posting this, and they don't even have a face to direct their fury towards.

If you decide to roll up your sleeves and learn how to build a civilization, look at online guides. Yes, they exist. Yes, they are 100% speculative, seeing as how nobody's ever done it yet. And yes, it's mostly people with extremely fringe and untested politics writing wankfics about how once they plant the seeds for new humanity, Merito-Monarchy with Maoist characteristics will be their guiding polestar. SBURB is also a bad teacher in this regard, because you're basically doing middle-school projects and dealing with Consorts, but SBURB is bad in the way a bleeding wound is bad, as opposed to "the bone's exposed, dump it into raw meat ASAP".

Carry the SBURB discs you used to play THIS Session to immediately start a new one. I don't even know if that'll work, considering the discs are basically magic, but that's the worst possible idea and your Coplayers should communally kick you around for even considering this idea, that I implanted in your head.

But as for what you should be doing... It's a bit difficult to talk about, because I actually have no idea what the state of this hypothetical "universe we step out into" would look like. A lot of people on the "here's how I build a new society" threads assume they'll step out into a flat, featureless grassy plain which they'll need to terraform and popular through ectobiology, and "unpopulated but randomly generated terrain, like Minecraft" is the second most common assumption. But in the same way we keep New Game +'ing into a pre-existing world with millennia of history, who's to say that won't happen on a successful Session, but it's a world that knows what you did and is expecting your arrival gratefully? Who's to say that there will even be *anything* in there, and that you'll have to initiate a Big Bang-esque event as your first act upon entry? Is there a SBURBan post-game we don't know about, featuring new tools in the Phernalia Registry that allow you to reshape reality like a painter with an inkbrush?

But I get ahead of myself. I don't even want to do the "lmao it'll never happen lmao don't worry about it lmao" thing because I myself enjoy being contrarian and want to start making you imagine a world where you enter a new universe which you now have to *live* in. Because you're being a bit of a whiner right now and I want you to suffer, because life is suffering. And I mean that positively. I've suffered in the course of running my blog, suffered attempting to 100% video games (even the ones I like), suffered producing art. But the only one who's never suffered from making art, is someone who's never made art. Desire leads to suffering, but a life lived without desire is a life lived without direction or purpose. Most self-help posts end with "develop a hobby" but really you should develop a hobby. Avoid "auto-pilot", not only because that's a particular flavor of pride before the fall (and the falls tend to be pretty lethal), but because if you ever end up getting killed, it'd suck to realize you died before you were killed.

That will get the juices flowing in your brain enough to find the prospect of building a society from the ground up a lot more feasible. A challenge worthy of taking on. I guess I did never end up actually answering the question of "what do if I end up creating a new universe for real this time", but considering how much is unknown, I would have to establish multiple courses of action depending on which assumption is true. Which would be a lot to just dump on someone, and all for the purposes of being another piece of non-actionable speculation on the pre-existing mountain of the same. It might make for an interesting post in the future, however.

[sburbian-sage]

Is it true that Knights tend to have aspects the session would otherwise be really lacking in? Like, a really short session might have a Knight of Time, a session full of people who hate eachother are more likely to have a Knight of Blood, and so on?

Probably not? "The Session is lacking [Aspect X]" can be said to apply to *every* Aspect represented in a Session, considering that the Players are all Heroes of their Aspects. It'd be kind of boring if the Breath Player dropped in and was told "yeah nothing needs to be destroyed and we're all as free as a bird". Of course, the opposite tends to be true with Princes/Bards (too much of your Aspect, trim it down) and Wastes/Graces (critical excess of your Aspect, severe damage inevitable, control and prevent it from getting worse).

I also don't know how this scales with other Aspects. Assuming your proposition is correct, what "lack of Mind" would a Knight of Mind be dealing with? Everything is scripted or on rails so they need to literally make choices (as in creating alternate options to be taken)? Everyone is really stupid and they have to be smart? What would that look like for a Knight of Space? Do you lack "physical space" and so all the Lands are cramped and tiny, or do you lack "genesis and creation" and so your Session is automatically unwinnable? Something like Stars/Hope also seem abstract enough I would have trouble even identifying what a "lack" of it would look like.

[sburbian-sage]

what do you think about the fact that Hope (hope is the best btw) players at some point in their session tend to use Linux (or whatever alien (i dub the term alinux) linuxes are used)

I think it fits how high level abilities are hard so you just freestyle it (being the linux of sburb abilities)

-postClasspecting\Mark Warren\reboundShockwave

You can't just say "oh any analogous version of Linux is Alien Linux to me" you chauvinistic fuck.

First of all, there's a high chance it's just called Linux, some programming languages seem to be universal.

Second of all, they have names and differences. If you assume Twitter and Chittr are just the same, you'd be wrong, and if you called Chittr "Troll Twitter", you'd be cancelled very quickly.

Third of all, if you want an actually hard programming language to wave your big dick over like a wizard enchanting a potion, take the diaper off, undergo puberty, and learn how to use ~ATH.

[sburbian-sage]

Grace of Rain again. Good to know I'm not directly responsible for this. The fact that the lack of a Cataclysm probably *was* the Cataclysm is hilarious. Doesn't make the Classpect situation in my current session any less weird tho. We've got a Bard of Keys, Mage of Blaze, Seer of Dreams, Lord of Clouds, Smith of Time, Sylph of Might, Maid of Law, Knight of Fate, Nymph of Forks, Page of Frost, Grace of Grace, Guide of Space, Witch of Snow (me), Dame of Tides, Muse of Stars, and Sage of Star.

Oh. I only saw the first half of this ask and just got done writing up an entire post under the assumption that the "overlap" was in fact a curious case of duplicate Titles and synonyms. Fuck me for not reading ahead.

My own personal skill issue aside, I'm put in a tough position here. You said you just got done with your previous session a week ago, yes? Is it possible that, for example, Blaze and Frost are in fact just Flow and Rhyme? If you're still early-game, your powers wouldn't have had much time to manifest, and while they might look different, it's still possible that they might just be weird, alternate instances of Flow and Rhyme? Then again, I've never heard of the color schemes themselves changing. I might just be cope-posting because I'm still bitter about the wasted write-up.

We might have to bite the bullet on this one. If these Classes and Aspects are truly not just duplicate instances of pre-existing Titles, then they're either entirely new Classes and Aspects, or are indistinguishable from the same. I struggle to imagine this is the case, because "Star" is just "Stars" but they dropped a letter, and anyone who's followed this blog for long enough knows about the Lord/Smith drama. But it's one or the other. If they're duplicates, my original write-up is applicable. If they're not duplicates, operate as though they were new, unknown Titles (which they might be). Search for "Rare Title" guides, use intuition and play cautiously to learn the unknown variables (like your first time playing SBURB, basically), and write down your notes for future research and guide-writing.

Regardless of which is true, with sixteen players on hand, your organizational skills are going to be put to the test. The presence of the Muse and Smith should be a boon, as the latter can reliably work by themselves and the former excels in situations like these. You also have a Grace with an outright bugged Title, though I believe she's likely a Grace of Mist, considering how packed and jumbled Title Attribution is. Have some confidence, keep a cool head, try not to let everyone get overwhelmed, be smart with Unbreakable Unions, and leverage that number advantage, and you should be able to turn this into a wash-out in your favor.

Also, here's the original write-up with my misunderstanding intact. For posterity's sake, and in case it's useful to anyone.

Oh, this one's simple. It's not uncommon for SBURB to apply an "incorrect" name to an Aspect. It's less like it's "wrong", it's more like a synonym and it throws people off. Most likely results?

Keys = Law

Blaze = Flow (Flow's element is fire)

Lord = Smith (THE CORRECT TITLE FOR THIS CLASS)

Clouds = Breath (associations with air and wind) or Mist (Mist is fog and those kind of look like clouds)

Nymph = Slyph (forest fairy creature, sounds the same, entirely possible this is some unknown class nobody's ever heard of and everyone's going to shit their pants)

Forks = Mind? (a fork in the road, a decision to be made? not confident with this one)

Frost = Rhyme (Rhyme's element is ice)

Snow = Rhyme (Rhyme's element is ice)

Tides = Might (Might's element is water)

Star = Stars (let's think for a second)

The odd one out is "Grace of Grace", where it seems a Class got assigned as an Aspect. But that one seems easy. It's Mist. Mist constantly copies and replicates data like this. And if you have a Grace of Mist in your midst, it's not impossible that the influence is already being felt. Not only in the sense that every Title got synonym'd, but in the sense that you have two Law, two Might, two Rhyme, two Stars, two Slyph, two Smith, and two Muse Players. That's seven instances of Duplicate Titles, god DAMN. And that bumps up to eight if Cloud = Mist.

The bright side of this is, you have a whopping 16 players, two of whom are Smiths and two of whom are Muses. If you can properly organize yourselves, you should be able to clean house. When it comes to forging Unbreakable Unions, the Smiths and Muses should obviously match up first, because they're like peanut butter and jelly, and the Flow Player should similarly get a turn with each Rhyme Player. Afterwards, you should get interesting results from pairing people with the same Classes or Aspects. They already "get" each other (same Whispers), and their ability to synchronize Fraymotifs should be near perfect.

Of course, it'll still suck because that's a lot of people to manage, and a Grace of Mist will cause more headaches with regards to duplication. But you just got done with a session with a Waste of Mist. Granted, it didn't go off per your report. But still, have some confidence. I cannot understate how powerful TWO SMITHS and TWO MUSES is.

[sburbian-sage]

opinion on godjammies?

What opinion do you expect me to have on them? They're decent armor, they look nice (moment of silence for Bards and Dream players), and they're cozy. 10/10

If you want me to say something out of the ordinary about them, alchemize them some more. You can do that, you know. They retain most of the magical attributes they normally do, like never snagging or being damaged in the long term, but you can customize their looks (pay attention Bards and Dream players) or turn them into god-armor.

Also people shit on the "fancystuck" trend, where people turn their godjammies into suits and dresses and such so they look like magical girls and/or some Tuxedo Mask-esque figure. Those people are incorrect, nebulously afraid, and they probably don't have any sense of fashion and their fit is barely more dignified than an empty potato sack. Style on those motherfuckers with your god-drip.

[sburbian-sage]

Hey zelda group again! I saw you replied so i figured id respond and clarify some things!

So our lands did completely derender or whatever eventually but when they did it triggered like a story event and four great pillars rose across hyrule

We made our way towards the closest one and found it was a dungeon themed towards one of my coplayers land (how thematic that it was the land of lakes and coral considering it was in lake hylia) so that answered where they were going

We slogged our way through for about three days (so many fucking monsters dude its nuts) and after about a half dozen mini bosses our we reached a door that only permitted our coplayer to pass through

So according to her it was a classic boss fight but against her denizen who had been 'corrupted' by evil (as far as she can tell this just basically means they were a bigger dick than normal and had a bunch of red glowy eyes plastered on them) after beating them she was rewarded with a 'fragment of time' (gee I wonder what that's going to be used for) and her god tier slab which the denizen promptly killed her on

Also looks like the consorts for the various lands will inhabit the dungeons after they've been cleared considering that there were a bunch of them all over the place afterwards

So definitely some cool stuff and maybe the sessions not totally doomed after all

I'm gonna be real I was kinda 50/50 on whether or not you were bullshitting me with the original "I Triforced my game into making SBURB become LoZ". I took a shot and believed it, and your claims have gotten increasingly ridiculous, but at the very least the escalations are within an acceptable bound of sounding like a natural progression from previous events, so I'll continue believing this is all true. Call me sunk cost fallacy if you want, I want to believe something silly for once.

Good new for you, if you spotted your Denizens, that means the Session isn't doomed! They only vanish if the Session is unwinnable and there's no other purpose to facilitate, so their presence is a welcome sight. I don't believe they've actually been corrupted by anything, because Denizens are exceedingly immune to shenanigans, so they're probably just playing along with the bit, more or less. They already fill a certain role in the "story" of SBURB, and facilitate the completion of a game, the trappings have just changed.

[sburbian-sage]

shitload of my fraymotifs all sound like garbled static, no clue what's causing it. I can still get them to WORK if i guess the beat they're meant to go through (lots of trial and error) but it's damned inconvenient. possibly relevant information: our waste of void had her whole shitstorm a little ways back, but even before then, these things weren't working. i'm a doom player, not sure if that helps with anything, but i may as well include it. multiplayer fraymotifs still sound like discount noise music, and are also basically unusuable without a lot of effort. the consort selling me these things doesn't seem to think there's any issue, leading me to suspect it's a bug. thanks in advance.

It seems like the Waste of Void's fault. "Garbled static and nothing" is what any Void Fraymotif sounds like, and without any further details given, I could guess that they somehow broke all Fraymotifs. If you can't fix it with FrayMixing, I wouldn't bother with it too much. They're nice bonuses, but you can just skill issue your way around it, like every Void Player and most Hope Players do.

[sburbian-sage]

Hi, UrsanidComedian here! :3

I... Kinda softlocked myself???

Long story short:

I'm a seer of void, now max god tier. My coplayers are dead and so are the black king and queen, Prospit and Derse are fine and so is the white king (Queen died by hands of one of my coplayers) I found out about the tumor and panicked so I kinda un-existed it????

Now I can't progress and finish Sburb. So I kinda got bored and made peace between the carapacians? And also kinda am In a relationship with the white king (don't ask).

It's been a long, LONG time since all that happened. I've lost count but I assume around 100 years or so. I kinda made my home in this session and made it more peaceful kingdom sim game but I really want to know how to leave the game...

help? ,:3

WHY ARE YOU YELLING

First of all, be a bit precise with your language. "Tumor" is a term used in the game's code that refers to any scripted object the game recognizes shouldn't exist. "I found out about the Tumor" could refer to literally anything.

Second, and I hate to be the one to break the bad news to you, but I think you may have wasted 100 years of your life. If the Black King is dead (which you said he is), and the Genesis Frog has been bred (did this happen?), you should be able to leave and finish the game. Unless this Tumor is some game critical item, which by definition it shouldn't be if you're calling it a Tumor, then I don't know what's going on here.

Third, and I REALLY hate to break this news to you, but you also shouldn't really be alive. When a Session has been rendered unwinnable, or if the game is complete, the Others begin closing in to, essentially, consume the remains of the Incipisphere, presumably to make room for a new Session (or for some insidious eldritch purpose, this part is conjecture). If you've actually been kicking around for 100 years and your sense of time isn't just twelve different flavors of fucked, then either the Session isn't unwinnable, the Session isn't complete yet, or someone struck a deal with the Others in order to preserve this Session (it's been done before).

In short, man I have no clue what's going on with you. I need more information before I can assist you with anything.

Has Breeding Duty been accomplished?

What exactly is this "Tumor" you erased?

Can you establish contact with the Others and ask them why they haven't moved in? I'm not expecting an answer, and don't make any deals for information, but if they do give any answer, note it down.

Is the Door Beyond The End or its platform present at all?

Is there something wrong with you that made you wait an actual century, or are you just jerking my chain?

[sburbian-sage]

DurationPrince again...

I've read your tips for the black king and I think I understand what is going on with him (Basically some ~ATH Bullshit) and I think I have a plan.

But I think after everything... I finally think I have some kind of coherent, 90%+ sure explanation for what happened...

Trying to use [In the end] stop something infinite or untied to time something shouldn't work, Which is probably why it didn't work the time bubble.

So I'm pretty sure that When I used [In The End] against [Infinite Rage], I went overboard and somehow tapped to the power of all the other mes in the other timelines to channel an infinite amount of [In The End]... and I think It destroyed every me in every timeline besides this one, dooming them.

And somehow, I think they all ended in me, which would fit my title: Both destroying time and being devoid of time through being a combination of all timelines.

This would explain why I had those weird whisperings before the time bubble, it wasn't a whispering, but all my other selfs somehow talking to me. Also probably how I was out of time without being mentally or physically effected by.. well... not having time.

Most importantly, It explains why the hell i didn't have any time corpse stuff throughout my session: I'm the container of all time corpses that ever could have.

I'm not sure if it's truly the case, but if it is. I want to give them, all the mes that didn't deserve this... a proper clousre.

Worst case scenario, I'm overly wrong and I do something to deaf ears.

But what should I do?

If you want closure, my advice ends here. That's a personal issue, and you'll have to deal with it in your own way. Erect a little gravestone behind your house, burn some incense, a moment of silence, and try to forget about it moving forward, these posts the only lasting memorial. Or leave a solemn message of remembrance on your page somewhere. There's no right answer, and consequentially no way of accidentally fucking it up.

[sburbian-sage]

Hey there! You seem rather knowledgeable so i had a question

So my coplayer is like, completely corrupted by horrorterror/others gunk right

Like whip-crackling aura of darkness and dripping ink goop, gibberish speak, all that

But like she seems completely fine otherwise? Like shes not going on murder tours and smashing game constructs or anything, shes just like,

Completely normal? Shes deaf so shes been signing to me the best she can(i only know a bit) and from what i can work out shes more vulnerable to moodshifts but like, she was already bipolar so she says its nothing new

Im just like, completely lost on what to do here

First of all, acknowledge the sheer amount of luck you currently are rolling around in. Once you've gone Grimdark, you start speaking in Broodfester, which in addition to not being understandable by mortal ears, is also rather physically painful to listen to. It also corrupts text interfaces, so texting doesn't work. But sign language? No reason why that would be obstructed. Unless her hands turn into flagella of some sort, in which case enjoy it while it lasts.

As far as why she isn't going bugnuts, I have no clue. It's not impossible that she's particularly strong-willed enough to just shrug it off, but I don't tend to buy "I'm built different" explanations. That there's *any* change in personality is suspect, and you'd be safer not betting on whether her mood swings are just ambiguously "worse" after getting corrupted, or if that's her basically holding the the metaphorical beast and literal eldritch scion at bay. I think you're maybe more likely to not lose it if you've been acclimated to Other-corruptive influences throughout your life (while everyone else read Twilight in middle school, I studied The Case of Charles Dexter Ward), but this is mostly tangential to the fact that being Grimdark at all is bad.

If she's fine, then she's fine. Feel free to chat, and to use her boosted stats to kill dangerous things. But I would take care to avoid letting her interact with anything Other-corruptive (in case it pushes her over the edge) or Angel-corruptive (in case she goes berserk and tries to nuke it). If she does start to become less lucid, or if she wants to purge herself of it (or if you and the coplayers decide that this has gone on for long enough), I would prepare a room full of Angel-corruption. So basically lots of crosses and bibles and stuff. Then restrain her and pantomime an exorcism with the religious paraphernalia until it actually has an effect (the spiritual theater isn't real, the corruption is mutually incompatible). Alternatively, sic her into the Underworld and have her PvE the Angels until she goes back to normal. Basically, you've gotta choose between "slow and dangerous to you", and "fast but dangerous to her".

[sburbian-sage]

So my first title was Heir of Light (don't let the haters lie to you, it's a great classpect practically min-maxed for epic sniping laser trickshots if you have the right equipment) but now it seems like approximately 50% of my sessions SINCE I started also involved me rolling Heir of Light. Like, I'm pretty sure I'm the leading expert on this title by now, but the fact that I just keep getting it is starting to unnerve me. Do you think Sburb is trying to tell me something?

You might just be lucky. Repeat Titles aren't exactly special. Don't be surprised if you never get your Native Title again, but also don't be surprised if you do get it again. I wouldn't read into it, but feel free to continue fangirling over how cool your Native is. Everyone is prone to this behavior.

[sburbian-sage]

Hey its me, triforce dude again

So a lot of shits gone down and a lot of interesting things

So first off time travel is seemingly completely locked as is a lot of sburbian stuff in general though we keep like basic 'magic' relating to our aspects

Me and my coplayers kinda got a reverse four sword thing going on

Honestly they were kind of pissed off at the beginning but we all seem to be having a damn good time now

It's nice to break up the routine every now and then you know?

Also fairy fountains are busted as fuck, as far as we can tell and from what the fairies have told us they have a 3 time limit (rule of threes baby!) on complete resurrection but can also heal all wounds at any time and drinking the water from the fountain acts like a healing potion

Also it's neat interacting with the four races, game constructs they may still be but they definitely have more to talk about than the carapacians or consorts, more like actually people

Sadly our sprites seem to have completely vanished and our lands are like, fading away? For lack of a better term

They seem like they're slowly being unrendered and our denizens are gone (maybe they're in hyrule somewhere?)

Ill keep you updated but for now we're having a blast :D

>time travel is seemingly completely locked

Considering how influential Ocarina of Time was on the series, you must have rolled shit on whatever lottery caused this.

>the four races

Of course, the four races of Weasels, Elves, Clowns, and Hogs.

I actually struggle to imagine that any NPCs ad-hocced into existence through what is either a severe bug or a hostile takeover of Skaia by a foreign divine presence would have a more intricate internal world than the Carapacians, who are themselves fairly complex and well-realized if you actually emotionally invest in them. I know replaying can dull that facet of the game, because we're getting acquainted with infinite versions of Ms. Paint and you get disillusioned with it, but it does actually kind of grind my gears when people act like they're Skyrim NPCs.

>our lands are disappearing and our denizens are gone

WAY TO BURY THE LEDE. So off-handedly as well. I'm glad you guys are having fun, but if your Denizens vanish, your Session is as good as dead. Once a Session becomes nonviable, or enters a Doomed Timeline, they ollie-outie unless they need to facilitate some "grander purpose", usually that which pertains to delivering critical information to the Alpha Timeline. Your Lands vanishing is similarly concerning, but the absence of your Denizen is basically a sure shot, "you fucked up and the game is unwinnable".

By all means, keep playing. This is the copium speaking, but maybe if you defeat Gannon and help Morshu pay for his college tuition, the Denizens will come back and clap for you in a circle while the Door comes back and you win. In general though, I do not have high prospects for whatever's going on here, or what happens next.

PREDICTION: If the Door Beyond The End does show up, the "replay" option will probably say "Second Quest". It will either do the same thing "replay" usually does, or you will be stuck in Zelda Purgatory forever, in what must truly be a mega-fucked version of whatever it is we're already going through, with no way out.

SECOND PREDICTION: If the above happens, people will theory spitball at me about how we might see a "Triforce singularity" as SBURB becomes Zelda. I will refuse to listen to them, because this current thread is implausible as it is. There is a ceiling to the amount of silliness that can be going on at once!