scalproie
scalproie
Ice-Cold Heir of them tiddies lmao
172K posts
Dam // 25+ // any pronouns // The Blue Guy Enjoyer // 💙❄️💙🩵💙💎💙 // "Bro. Why wouldn't I be in a bad mood, I'm TRYing to open the gates to Hell and IT'S NOT WORKING."
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scalproie · 2 hours ago
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it's like the old saying goes, The customer is always wrong and it's legal to kill them
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scalproie · 3 hours ago
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* Won't you play again, Kris?
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scalproie · 9 hours ago
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scalproie · 9 hours ago
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i think all quiet on the western front and the lord of the rings are in direct conversation with each other, as in theyre the retelling of the same war with one saying here’s what happened, we all died, and it did not matter at all and another going hush little boy, of course we won, of course your friends came back
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scalproie · 10 hours ago
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your ocs should be friends with mine btw. my ocs told me they want to be friends with yours. theyre too shy to ask so i have to tell you. my ocs are asking your ocs to be friends with them
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scalproie · 10 hours ago
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The littlest things we know to be small = debut literary fiction
The dark wife: thriller, adapted into a Hulu original
The mailman’s niece = historical fiction
The mailman of Warsaw = also historical fiction but about war
The gate of wind = fantasy
The gate of wind and bones = young adult fantasy
A gathering of pelicans = mystery, part of a long running series that takes up a whole shelf at the library
The Group Project Partner Gambit = romance with a cartoon cover
Wendy Jenkins is Scared of Commitment = romance with a cartoon cover of gay people
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scalproie · 10 hours ago
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little kids are so fucking funny man. had a kid that couldn’t be any older than like 8 or so come up to me today asking where our dinosaur books where, and when i tried to gently redirect them downstairs (where our kids section is) they very matter-of-fairly informed me that they’d already read every book down there and are ready to learn about the “secret, grown-up only dinosaurs” now
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scalproie · 10 hours ago
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scalproie · 10 hours ago
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“But they forget”
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scalproie · 10 hours ago
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i have "loyal attack dog" rizz. i follow orders like a soldier, with the enthusiasm of a puppy, and the force of a tank. it's all "yes ma'am" and "roger that" type of shit. women look at me like i'm nothing but a weapon and i smile back with a grin.
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scalproie · 10 hours ago
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scalproie · 10 hours ago
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What kind of question is this
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scalproie · 10 hours ago
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ThpThpThpThpThpThp
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scalproie · 10 hours ago
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all that said the guy with my car insurance company who answered the phone was so fucking funny. he had a heavy Georgia accent which endeared me to him immediately and he was sooo worried about me and apologetic that there was no one to send to my aid and I said "that's okay. if i end up missing though they're gonna interview you as the last person who heard from me. what if there's a documentary?" and he said "ooooooo, can I start drama?" I said, "well, what kind?" And he said, "I'm gonna tell them you said you saw a green flash in the sky over the field and I heard strange voices then the line went dead."
genuinely obsessed with him to this very day.
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scalproie · 10 hours ago
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i’m a gold star bisexual. i’ve fucked everybody
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scalproie · 11 hours ago
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Traffic
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scalproie · 11 hours ago
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