scaredgirlsilly - Tumblr blog

[scaredgirlsilly]

WHERES THAT POST ABOUT HOW ITS COOL TO MEET TRANS PEOPLE WHO ARE PLURAL CAUSE. THERES MORE OF THEM I NEED IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW PLEASE

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[scaredgirlsilly]

Having dating apps is pointless. The love of your life is on Tumblr

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[scaredgirlsilly]

My grandfather and my godfather (a beloved neighbor and dear family friend) had a long standing bet- for one dollar- about who would die first. Both of them being slightly pessimistic (in the funny way), they both insisted that they themselves would be the first to die. Any time my grandfather had a health scare, he’d gleefully call up my godfather to boast that he’d be passing “any day now” and he was sure to win the bet. It was a big family joke and they were always amiably sparring and comparing notes about who was in worse shape, medically speaking.

When my grandfather was in hospice care dying of liver cancer, my godfather was quite ill also. It took him great effort to make the journey to see his dying friend. As he came into the room, supported by a family member, he shuffled to my grandpa’s bedside and silently handed him a dollar bill. He was ceding his loss of the bet, as they both knew who was going first. My grandpa had been in quite bad shape for a while and was no longer able to speak but let me tell you he snatched that dollar with unexpected strength and literally laughed aloud. He knew exactly what the gesture meant and he couldn’t help but find the humor within the grief. It was the last time any of us heard my grandpa laugh, as he passed shortly after.

When I talk about my appreciation for “dark humor” I’m not so much thinking about edgy jokes, but rather the human instinct to somehow, impossibly, both find and appreciate the absurdity that is so often folded into the profound grief of life and death. When I tell this story I think it kind of perturbs people sometimes, but it’s honestly one of my favorite memories about two men I really deeply admired. I could never hope for anything more than for my loved ones to remember me laughing until the very end, and taking joy in a little joke as one of my final acts.

[scaredgirlsilly]

happy 413 to those who celebrate all i got is injoke between bestie and i. dont think too hard about it

[scaredgirlsilly]

Just a small town girl

Livin' in a lonely world

She took the midnight train going anywhere

[scaredgirlsilly]

talks with my friends who are going to kink parties and having t4t orgies and doing petplay and then goes to sleep in my childhood bedroom and dreams of the snow, and rain

[scaredgirlsilly]

OK, but what if you cuddled up to me in bed and I made a cute little noise and did a little happy wiggle? Ever think about that?

[scaredgirlsilly]

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Did you know? Use the "computer" to chat with "transgender women".

[scaredgirlsilly]

vampirism poses the question "what if there was a fundamental, horrible, unending well of want in your soul that, if truly satisfied, would lead to great pain for all those you hold closest and, in turn, their absolute and total revilement of you?" and naturally as a person with no problems I don't relate to this in any way at all.

[scaredgirlsilly]