scarf-hobbit

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Mi Fursona :'3 <3!

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question

imagine if all of humanity just disappeared right now, and five factions reconquered the Earth

Octopus

Apes

Corvids

Raccoons

Elephants

which faction would be the first to rediscover jazz?

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by c-h-e-r-i

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hey btw if you wanna read dracula in real time as it happens you can have the chapters delivered to you via e-mail by signing up here:

it's fun

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So there's this plastic turtle we have outside our school that tells cars to slow down. My kids have always asked me why I don't have a husband, and I got tired of telling them because I didn't want one, so I pointed to him and said, "That dude. That's my husband."

This has been a running joke for two years now. All the kids know the plastic turtle outside the school is my husband. He doesn't have a name, just Miss Cat's husband.

Today was really windy, and the turtle dude fell over. I was taking a kid out to his mom, and he saw it on the ground and went, "Oh look, your husband died."

So I said, "Oh darn. Looks like I'm single again."

And without skipping a beat, he goes, "I'll be your husband."

Mom is standing there trying not to laugh as I got down on my knees, took the kid's hands in mine, and said, "Thanks for the offer, bud, but no thank you. We'll just pick that guy up so he can start being my husband again."

So the kid runs over, picks the turtle up, and goes "Good morning, husband! You're not dead anymore. Good job."

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actually i never experience negative consequences due to procrastination. i am occasionally blighted by god for unknowable reasons though

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"op" isnt a bad term per se but it is a warning sign that ur post has left ur circle of mutuals. which is never good. like a canary in the coal mines

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When a “funny” dude likes you and anytime he sees you anywhere he will be like “yoooo wassup it’s Jelissa!” (Or whatever) like “omg Miranda is here whaaaat” for literally no reason why do they do that

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if they only had twitter in tfp

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to anyone who missed it:

blorbo - a favourite character

glup shitto - star wars names are fucking nonesense

eeby deeby - youre going to hell

plinko horse - a horse that was stuck in a plinko board

scrimblo bimblo - super smash bro fans can be very angry when characters aren't in a game

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SPY x FAMILY anime 2022 → FORGER x FAMILY

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I love how the internet has introduced us to so much cursed and burdensome knowledge that we’ve had to innovate entirely new ways to express disgust. I saw a post tagged with “this made me lose the ability to thermoregulate” the other day

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top tier character-building device in pokemon games is when a seemingly antagonistic character has a golbat on their team and then later has it evolved into a crobat, which requires significant friendship, thus signalling that the character was always a kind person inside (plumeria), is growing past their issues and learning to be kinder (silver), may hold a spark of kindness that undermines their cold and calculating image (cyrus), etc etc

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every time i look at the mystery gang i have this like visceral feeling that someone is missing. but nobody ever is. who are they. what happened to them