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(( I’ve come to a conclusion due to last night’s fiasco trying to sleep and first off let me tell you, I’m not blaming anyone, maybe it’s my fault but honest to fucking God I don’t ever want to experience something like that ever again and if it means coming to this conclusion to better my health then so be it. I’m still shaking from it right now.

By this point in this fandom, I don’t care what anyone thinks but if anyone just wants to think I’m running away instead of trying to understand my feelings on the matter and see me as a horrible human being for watching out for my mental and physical health, then that’s your choice and seems to be where your morals stand. But I rather not have to go through that every night that I try to stay around here, I really fucking don’t and you should understand that I shouldn’t have to force myself through that.

So with that, I’m leaving this fandom, everyone and everything, even Jack, I’m sorry, but I can’t, I legitimately can’t. Do what you want. Whether or not I ever come back and remake this blog, it will currently be on an Indefinite Hiatus.

And if any want to know what triggered this, I say viewer discretion is advise: 

I was actually scared for my life last night, My heart wouldn’t stop racing, I couldn’t sleep, I was crying constantly and I was pacing around my room, hyperventilating, I nearly through-up several times, I was shaking, shivering and rocking back and forth. I tried to take like a whole bottle of pain relievers since I didn’t have any kind of sleeping aids, I couldn’t think, I nearly went up to my dad to tell him to take me to the hospital I felt like shit. I’m still shaking thinking about it but I’m sorry if you think I have to put myself through that again, no, no, I’m not ever. If you wanna hold a grudge fine. But please just forget about me. ))

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;; update

(( Surprise, surprise, I ain’t close to finishing my theme

But more importantly I’m still uncomfortable around here && now more so than ever. So if ya’ll can guess, then yes hiatus is being extended because no , I don’t want to be in the middle of all this on my dash etc. && tbh I’m just . . disappointed in everything.

If things keep blowing up like this, I’m probably not ever coming back. And if anything, considering I’m still quite attached to Jack, Imma need to learn how to blacklist for drama considering it’s gotten to the point where people can’t keep it private. ))

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Mild Hiatus

(( Okay so, let me start with, this is for my own health. I’m serious. I’m really tired and just for like the past week I’ve had several panics and the anxiety never goes away and I’m just not having fun anymore. My stomach is constantly turning on me, I can barely eat and sometimes I end up crying. I can barely get up in the morning half the time, I shouldn’t dread coming online to do a hobby and I should stop forcing myself too, for reasons I’m not going to tell just anyone. So I’m taking a week or two off completely from this fandom, RP-ing and tumblr all together. I’m legitimately constantly sick and I hate it and I can’t take it anymore.

When I get back though, I may drop a few threads if I can’t see them continuing. Otherwise hopefully I’ll be coming back with a new theme, possibly icons. I’m available on skype, ya-da, ya-da, cheers. ))

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                                                    [  Once upon a time  ]          I swore I had a     H E A R T                                                 Long before the world I know                                                                                                           tore                                                                                                           it                                                                                                           all      A P A R T

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Death is a Dialogue between The Spirit and the Dust.

Emily Dickinson, from ’[976]’  (via alatc)

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★— PSA: You are NOT replaceable. 

You are a unique, wonderful person and your take on a character is your OWN. You bring your muse to life, you breathe personality into them. You make them YOURS. You pour your time and effort into making them who they are - and no matter what anyone tries to tell you, you are incredible, passionate and dedicated.  If someone treats you as though you’re easily replaced? You know what, they’re not worth your time. You aren’t a toy in their collection, you aren’t just another name. You are the heart and soul of your muse.                                        You are great, and valued, and appreciated.  You don’t ever need to live up to anyone's standards but your own. Don’t feel like you are anything less than you are –                                          You are all talented, creative INDIVIDUALS. 

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psa. I want a passionate ship — a ship that has heart stopping angst, that allows your muse to pin mine against a wall and make out with them if they have the desire to, that makes me make the most inhuman noises when they are even close to one another, that let’s the muses just let their development fly and soar to new levels everyday, that will make me yell at you forever and ever for making me ship them more and more. I want that type of ship.

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marina and the diamonds // solitaire

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Stranger - Remarin

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