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scaryl3gs · 8 months ago

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I've gotten some questions where people said they weren't sure what happened or being confused about stuff that happened in "Only Memories," so here is a Cliff's Notes summary about the fic or at least what I intended to write/remembered to summarize for this. Your mileage, death of the author, and so on.

Overarching themes: ambition, food issues, family trauma, grief, soulbond, bodies are weird and horrifying, max verstappen's abiding crush on daniel ricciardo

Chapter 1: When the story opens, Daniel appears to have an illness that resembles the flu or COVID. However, he is actually converting from an alpha to an omega and going into heat for the first time. At the end of the chapter, he makes an offer to Christian that is not explicitly stated in the fic, but which Christian understands clearly. Daniel also says that he wants Christian to ask Max first. It is made clear that Red Bull is struggling after a technical directive that has enabled the Aston Martin to be dominant for several races in a row and Max's own championship changes are disappearing, Max decides to fly to Daniel after the Belgian GP, the last race before the summer break.

Key beats/themes/world-building:

Daniel wants to keep his condition as secret as possible, even from his own family and friends.

Daniel's parents are a happily bonded alpha-omega couple.

Omegas go into heat.

Memories and dreams are an important part of the storytelling in this fic.

Christian is a beta, and betas can't smell/aren't affected by omega heats.

Support staff both real and made-up are recurring characters in the story.

Omegas have driven in F1, but none has ever scored a point.

Daniel's genitalia are changing, and while he still has a dick, he now also has labia/a vagina that gets wet. His testicles are no longer externally visible.

Chapter 2: Max arrives at the hotel in Hungary where Daniel has been staying. It is revealed that the offer made by Daniel in Chapter 1 had been to have sex with either Max or Checo. The reasoning for this is not clearly stated in the chapter. Although Max initially does not think that he will be attracted to Daniel or that they will bond, Max and Daniel have passionate sex and bond strongly. The end of the chapter skips ahead to the first race after summer break (Zandvoort), which Max wins.

Key beats/themes/world-building:

When Max wants to fall asleep, he imagines himself in a Red Bull van going to drive a race car as part of a Red Bull test. Sometimes, he imagines Kelly in the van with him because it comforts him to imagine her with him.

Max and Daniel have history with each other, and there are flashback scenes to Jos calling Daniel a slur (not specified in the text), Max and Daniel before Brazil 2016, Max and Daniel after Baku 2018, and Max and Daniel at the Christmas party that year after Daniel had signed with Renault.

It is hinted that Max may have viewed Daniel sexually even when they were both alphas.

Alphas and omegas can smell each other, but vinegary-smelling neutralizers are used to dampen pheromones and keep everyone calm.

If an omega is in heat, it can trigger a corresponding sexual rut in the alphas, during which they can knot in an omega.

During moments of heightened connection, a bonded alpha-omega pair will have their bodies sync up. They will also see colored pheromone clouds of the same color on each other. Max and Daniel see golden clouds on each other.

It is expected that during sex between an alpha and an omega, an alpha will bite the omega, not the other way around.

Max cares deeply about Kelly, who is a beta. He is upset about bonding with Daniel.

Daniel doe snot want to fall into the typical sexual role for an omega in heat.

Verstappen family trauma will be a recurring theme in the fic.

Chapter 3: Through a series of third-party perspectives, we learn that during the summer break, Max and Kelly broke up, Max's family knows about the breakup but not that Max bonded with an omega, Max is concealing the fact that he has bonded to Daniel from Lando, Daniel has not broken up with Heidi, and Christian and GP have qualms about what happened. At the end of the chapter is a flashback to 2012, when Jos left him in a field in Germany because they have a fight about Jos having cheated on Sophie (a beta) with omegas. Max calls Sophie to come pick him up. At the end of the chapter, it is revealed that Max won Zandvoort, Max dumped Kelly, that Kelly does not know that Max has bonded with an omega (or who the omega is), and that Kelly is a beta.

Key beats/themes/world-building:

The chapter is framed through a countdown to Zandvoort 2023, except for the flashback to 2012/Max winning Zandvoort/the information about Kelly.

Daniel will be traveling with the team to all remaining races.

Daniel and Max have sex in Max's driver room every time before Max goes on track.

Daniel is doing a lot of work with the marketing team.

Daniel has not broken up with Heidi.

During a phone call, Victoria tells her mother not to get involved in things that she doesn't need to.

When stressed, GP will break out a mint-flavored vape; Christian misses cigarettes. (Not actually important, but I like these details haha)

Chapter 4: Max and Daniel continue to have sex in driver's rooms before Max goes on track, and it helps Max successfully drive the post-technical directive car better. Daniel has intense dreams about Max's childhood trauma, including a scene where Max tries to hold Victoria back from interfering in a fight between their parents. During the dream, Daniel experiences Victoria accusing him as Max of being able to stop their father from hurting their mother, but liking racing too much to do it. Daniel still hasn't broken up with Heidi, who is increasingly worried for their relationship. She talks about it with her mother, who attributes Daniel being different to how he must wear a suppressant patch now that he is trackside with a F1 team, but not one of the drivers. Heidi wants to surprise Daniel with a visit at the Austin GP, but her mother advises her against it, based on her own experience of alpha F1 drivers like Heidi's father.

Key beats/themes/world-building:

Sophie knows that Max has bonded with Daniel.

Max explains that he and Daniel try to lead separate lives.

Max is able to drive the post-directive car much, much better now.

Max is extremely possessive of Daniel to the point where, when Daniel is with him post-sex and pre-Max-going-on-track, Brad (an alpha) no longer helps Max in the driver's room. Instead, an older female beta does.

While Max bites Daniel in visible places to mark him (and Daniel has to dress to cover it up), Daniel is not supposed to bite Max anywhere it can be seen.

After sex, Daniel gets very sleepy/drowsy and sits with his head in Max's lap, seemingly not caring that people might see him act like Max's omega.

When he is more "himself" as he likes to think of it, Daniel hates the way he looks as his body is changing to become more like an omega's.

Daniel is making a point of acting like he is a loving, affectionate boyfriend to Heidi in front of third parties.

Max's manager wishes Max would return to Monaco for tax advantages, but Max refuses. It is implied that his feelings about Daniel have something to do with it.

There have been elements of food and diet culture and hunger before in the story, but now it is strongly introduced as a theme of the story.

Chapter 5: This chapter picks up on the themes of food, diet culture, and hunger. Daniel is deeply upset by his changing body and tries to do things to keep it from changing, like working out a lot and restricting his food intake. He is being medically monitored by the team. There is an extended sequence showing that after Max and Daniel bonded in Hungary, they flew back to Milton Keynes and did not immediately act like a bonded pair. However, Max did very poorly in the simulator until he and Daniel had sex in a Red Bull conference room. At the end of the chapter, Daniel is at the Austin GP and receives a call from Heidi. He is initially thrilled, then realizes that she is at the Austin GP too. The chapter ends on a cliffhanger.

Key beats/themes/world-building:

Daniel frequently wakes up horny.

Daniel and Max are not sleeping in the same bed at night and seem to have limited involvement in each other's lives except when they have sex before Max drives.

When Daniel masturbates, he tries not to masturbate in "omega" ways, but finds himself getting off the hardest during fantasies that involve himself both as an aggressive alpha and a sexually reluctant omega.

Early on in the bond, Max and Daniel were still laughing and having fun with each other in a way that is happening much less now.

Max is even more possessive of Daniel now than he was early in the relationship.

Chapter 6: To avoid distractions for Max before he goes on track, Daniel pretends to be a doting alpha boyfriend for Heidi, who is an omega. However, Daniel grows increasingly upset and disassociates. When Max crashes on track, Red Bull sends someone to get Daniel, who realizes he cannot be in a relationship with Heidi and publicly dumps her even though she is trying to be supportive of him going to his friend.

Key beats/themes/world-building:

Western society has a lot of social mores about how alphas and omegas should act with each other, and Daniel was taught these manners by his mother as a child.

Heidi is very connected to the F1 world and charming and smart, as well as deeply in love with Daniel. In many ways, Heidi was a perfect long-term partner for Daniel when he was an alpha, and from the outside, they still appear to be a "perfect" alpha-omega couple.

Daniel and Heidi have been emotionally vulnerable with each other about their respective professional failures, which did not come easily for Heidi.

The relationship between Heidi and Daniel was very serious, and Daniel was planning to propose/bond with her.

It is implied that Max crashed because he was distracted by the Heidi/Daniel situation and/or because he didn't have sex with Daniel before going on track.

Chapter 7: There is a flashback to summer break. It is revealed that Max and Daniel lived together as a bonded pair during the summer break. In addition, there was a long, difficult FaceTime call during which Max broke up with Kelly. Afterwards, Max gets drunk and does not talk to Daniel, even though Daniel comes to sit with him. Daniel concludes that Max would rather be alone. However, when Daniel goes to sleep by himself in the staff suite rather than the master suite where he had been staying with Max, Max finds him in the dark and falls asleep on the floor in order to be next to Daniel. After Max returns from the hospital following his crash at Austin, Daniel is waiting outside Max's hotel room and goes into the room with him.

Key beats/themes/world-building:

Daniel can smell Max being miserable.

The bond means, among other things, that Daniel's body always wants to be close to/pay attention to Max. He hears Max's voice more clearly, for example, than other sounds.

It is explicitly stated that Max broke up with Kelly because he refused to continue be like his dad, an alpha who cheats on his beta partner with an omega.

Chapter 8: Max and Daniel are now staying together in the same hotel suite. Max's alpha father and alpha manager would like to have dinner with Max and Daniel, but Max is very protective of Daniel. He is also possessive of Daniel, becoming upset when he sees Daniel chatting with other drivers on the grid. Checo talks to his brother about how Max has bonded to an omega, but they assume the omega is a woman and do not know who it is. Daniel still has not informed his family that he has become an omega/has bonded with Max. Max misses Martin Garrix, and he wants to be able to re-introduce Daniel to Martin as his omega, but Daniel refuses, and as a result, Max doesn't have dinner with Martin/hang out with him as planned. Because Martin is a beta, he can't pick up on pheromone signals; Martin's assistant is an omega and is able to tell him that Max has bonded. She has met Daniel before, but as an alpha; consequently, she doesn't recognize Daniel's scent as an omega. At the end of the fic, it becomes public that Max and Kelly have broken up.

Key beats/themes/world-building:

Max is driving phenomenally well and able to do things with the car that Checo cannot.

Daniel's disordered eating is getting worse, and Max is trying to make sure Daniel is eating.

Senna was a bonded alpha driver and had a very tumultuous relationship with his omega that is generally believed to have contributed to his death.

It is general F1 wisdom that while bonded alphas might be somewhat better drivers, they cannot be consistent/control it/end up crashing because their omegas get upset and scared.

In fact, it is generally believed to be dangerous to have a bonded alpha as a F1 driver.

It is not specified whether other drivers are reacting to Daniel differently because they sense he is an omega even though he is wearing a suppressant patch/pretending to be a reserve driver who is an alpha.

It is implied (but not explicitly stated) that Max gets angry when Daniel interacts with other drivers; from his point of view, they are flirting/reacting to Daniel as a potential sexual partner, rather than chatting with him as a friend. It is meant to make the reader think about whether Max is still capable of seeing Daniel as a friend.

Chapter 9: Daniel realizes that being an omega is making it more difficult to be angry about the same things. In addition, his memories now focus on Max in a way that he finds deeply upsetting. When Max becomes angry as the result of a race, Daniel offers himself sexually to Max to keep him from getting angrier. It is revealed that Daniel is not only lying to his endocrinologist about how bad things are and hiding the truth from his family, but cutting himself off from his friends, including both Blake and Scotty. Because Scotty is concerned about Daniel, he comes to Vegas during the GP weekend without telling Daniel and engineers a meeting between them. Daniel picks a fight, then goes back to the hotel suite he shares with Max and has a breakdown where he smashes glass tumblers and overturns furniture. There is a flashback to Daniel and Max having sex. There is also discussion of how Max has used slurs, including ones related to omegas. The chapter ends with Daniel signing a contract to stay employed with Red Bull in 2024.

Key beats/themes/world-building:

As an alpha, Daniel expressed attitudes towards omegas towards that reflect irl misogyny directed towards women.

The word "bitch" and "wet" are used in derogatory ways because of their association with omegas.

Even though Blake remains Daniel's business manager, Daniel refuses to speak to him on the phone, pretending it's because he is angry at Blake/Blake asks too many questions.

Instead, Daniel tries to do business mostly through his CAA agent, who does not know him as well as Blake (and uses casual slang terms that are derogatory towards omegas).

When Max gets angry, Daniel automatically gets very, very wet to the point where it can be smelled by alphas and omegas.

Daniel is terrified by the idea of getting pregnant, which his endocrinologist assures him is unlikely to happen.

After his endocrinologist sees how terrified Daniel is of getting pregnant, she once again urges him to get therapy/see a mental health professional. In response, Daniel hangs up on her and tells the team her refuses to meet with her as he has been doing.

When Daniel is upset, his body instinctively wants to be close to Max, even if it is his omega status that is distressing him.

Max is willing to have sex with Daniel in ways that alphas typically do not have sex with omegas -- for example, he performs oral sex on Daniel's dick, and he also lets Daniel push him against the bed as if he were an omega.

However, Daniel has difficulty coming without Max asserting dominance over him as an alpha.

It is implied that Daniel's disordered eating is intensifying.

It is implied that Daniel believes his omega conversion was due to his diet/eating issues, although his actual endocrinologist (who I've tried to present as a highly competent, reassuring, empathetic, and trustworthy expert going to some difficulties to help Daniel) does not think that was the case.

It is implied that Daniel is shutting down his Enchante clothing line.

It is implied that Max is paying for Daniel's 2024 contract, and it is meant to be a parallel to the way he was financially generous with Kelly during their breakup.

It is implied that Scotty views F1 as old-fashioned and archaic for its position on alphas/omegas.

Chapter 10: Max hand feeds Daniel breakfast. Max dreams about Daniel's time driving for Mclaren, and when he wakes in distress, he realizes that Daniel is upset in his sleep, so he uses his bond dominance to settle Daniel back down. Daniel has a phone conversation with his mother where she tells him that the transition to being a bonded omega to his father was very hard for her. Max and Daniel have sex before the race at Interlagos, where Max delivers one of the greatest drives to date, an all-time wet weather drive that is even better than his 2018 Interlagos drive. He is protective of Daniel and irritated when Lando asks if Max is going to celebrate his drive by partying, especially now that he is single/Lando having Daniel's name in his mouth. The chapter ends with the FIA pulling Max in for drug testing before the Las Vegas grand prix. It is meant to feel like a cliffhanger "oh shit" moment.

Key beats/themes/world-building:

Daniel is starting to be unable to eat unless Max feeds him. In fact, Max has to sip a cup of coffee before Daniel will drink from it.

Being bonded to Daniel means not just improvements in driving for Max, but measurable physical differences, like better vision and a stronger immune system.

To help Daniel settle down and sleep more easily, Max goes back to sleep, and to do that, he imagines himself and Daniel in the Red Bull van when he used to imagine himself with Kelly.

Daniel's mother believes he is asking about omegas and bonds because he is getting ready to propose to Heidi because he has still not told his family.

Daniel's father is having cardiac issues, which makes Daniel feel very guilty and causes Daniel's mother to be worried/upset.

When Daniel is stuck in traffic in Interlagos while Max is already on track, Max becomes increasingly agitated and eventually almost physically ill because he is so upset at being separated from Daniel. In turn, Daniel is frantic. Max and Daniel almost have parallel physical symptoms.

Red Bull is actively working to conceal who Max's omega is, even internally.

As a result, Checo continues not to know who Max's omega is, but he and his allies in the Red Bull team are trying to keep tabs, because they (correctly) realize it's why Max is able to do things that Checo cannot.

The sex that Max and Daniel have is growing increasingly telepathic and soul-bond-y.

Max has difficulty leaving Daniel behind even to race.

At this point, it is only implied that Michael and Daniel did not part on entirely amicable terms and that Michael may know something about Daniel's eating issues. It is not clear whether he knows that Daniel is an omega now.

Chapter 11: The chapter opens with a FIA team in the elevator after getting samples from Max to test for banned substances. In the next scene, Christian, Helmut, Max, and Daniel are having a video meeting with Red Bull legal and medical, because it is likely that Max's new profile as a bonded alpha will come back indicating that he is using performance-enhancing drugs (PED) in violation of FIA/World-Anti-Doping Agency requirements, which would bar him from driving in the upcoming Las Vegas GP and end his campaign for the WDC in 2023. In a series of scenes told primarily through outside perspectives, the story lays out how Max is not doing media interviews this weekend, Daniel is struggling through a heavy schedule of sponsor work, other drivers are realizing that Max may have been flagged by the FIA as a result of a drug test, that Max is not cleared in time to drive in free practice for Las Vegas, and that Christian is politicking to contain damage and manage the crisis, both externally (with the FIA) and internally (with Red Bull corporate), as it had been kept a compartmentalized secret even within Red Bull that Daniel was an omega and that he and Max bonded. Red Bull medical explains that the next part of the drug testing will involve testing both Daniel and Max. Daniel and his Red Bull media handler return to the hotel suite, and Daniel and Max go to bed with the handler staying outside.

Later that night/early in the morning, the handler wakes Daniel when it is time for him to go to testing. It becomes clear that Daniel being tested involves him needing to orgasm in front FIA observers, so that the resulting slick can be used to test Max. Daniel tries multiple methods to orgasm, but is eventually only able to do so using porn he would not have found arousing as an alpha and while using a "holder" over the back of his neck to simulate the way an alpha would bite him. Meanwhile, Max is also sitting in a FIA testing room, waiting for the sample from Daniel. Even though GP is with him, Max becomes increasingly upset, eventually trying to escape the room where he is supposed to stay for the duration of the testing. He eventually calms down, and after the sample of Daniel's post-orgasmic slick arrives, blood samples are taken from him every two hours for six hours.

Max falls into the sort of memory-dreaming that we have seen throughout the story, and we revisit the scene from earlier in the story where Victoria accuses Max of being able to stop their father, but he likes racing too much. In a set of scenes, we learn that Victoria had been trying to stop Jos from raping Sophie, that Max blames himself for not stopping it even though he was only 11, that Max told Daniel about it during their first year as teammates, that Daniel tried to tell Max it was not his fault, that the fight that resulted in Jos being arrested for assaulting Sophie (and for which Jos was eventually found not guilty) came about because Sophie attacked Jos the next time she saw him after the rape, and that Victoria and Max are still dealing with their feelings about their parents relationship, including the idea that it would have been worse if their parents had been bonded.

In the final arc of the chapter, Max and Daniel are back in their hotel suite, silently having to confront a number of things they have not said to each other. It is also revealed that during 2022, Michael showed Daniel materials indicating that he needed to be concerned about converting to an omega, but Daniel chose not to go to a doctor/change course/tell anyone because it would give Mclaren a chance to remove him from the seat. At the end of the chapter, it is stated that Lewis wins the Las Vegas GP,and a (slightly injured due to trying to escape the testing room) Max only barely manages to get enough points to stay in championship contention.

Key beats/themes/world-building:

At the end of each section until Max finishes testing, the story has a countdown timer to free practice and qualification for the Las Vegas GP.

This chapter makes clear that Daniel is almost unable to eat unless Max feeds him. In fact, Max has to sip a cup of coffee before Daniel will drink from it.

In the course of the meeting, more details are revealed to the reader about how poorly the sampling went, including that Max threatened to headbutt to come into the suite. Because Max is still angry, Daniel gets wet and is so embarrassed that he abruptly leaves the meeting with Red Bull staff, Helmut, and Christian, and Max runs after him.

As a beta, Christian is confused about the intensity of the bond between Max and Daniel, whereas Helmut takes it in more stride, saying that it is because the bond is new and because of Daniel's eating issues.

Michelle is also a beta, and Daniel and Max share a dream-memory where Michelle is furious about marital rape laws that said it was not legally possible for an omega to be raped by their bonded alpha.

It is implied that part of the reason why Max reacted so strongly to the idea of Daniel having to orgasm as part of the testing/feeling Daniel's distress through their bond is because of guilt about having stood by while his mother was raped by his father.

It has been implied in prior chapters that Red Bull is very worried about Daniel's eating; it is revealed in this chapter that a key factor has been Max, who went to Christian and Helmut and asking them to make sure that time was made for Daniel to eat.

Chapter 12: Daniel has a dream-memory about a dinner that he had with Max, Kelly, and Penelope before he became an omega. In the present-day timeline of the story, Daniel is in Abu Dhabi for the last race of the season, and the story follows Daniel as he interacts with with F1 fans, receives a friendship bracelet with his nickname and number, takes a helicopter with Max between the hotel and the track, hears Danica Patrick commenting about omegas in F1, waits for Max after the F1 driver photograph, avoids questioning from official media, and sits down for an emotional last interview with Netflix's "Drive to Survive". These are interspersed with scenes where Max and Daniel have sex, Max feeds Daniel, and Daniel flashes back to talking about hunger and f1 dieting with a journalist.

Eventually, Max dresses a drowsy Daniel before going onto track to try to win a third championship, which he is able to do. After waking up from a dream that mashes up elements of both his memories and Max's, Daniel comes out to parc ferme to congratulate Max. He has not come out to celebrate any of Max's drives after the bonding. When people help him get to the railing, Checo and Ted Kravitz, among others, realize that Daniel is Max's omega. Even though he is out in parc ferme, Daniel dissociates until Max is back in parc ferme after the cooldown lap, and he watches as Max stands on top of the car, celebrating. After holding up three fingers and kissing them through his helmet, Max jumps down from his car and goes to Daniel at the railing before going to anyone else. Daniel is almost in tears and saying Max's name, even though he is international television. Max puts his hand over the back of Daniel's neck in a gesture widely recognized as being what an alpha does to their omegas. The last words of the fic are it is only memories.

Key beats/themes/world-building:

Max cared very deeply about Penelope as well, and he remains sad about how what consequences his actions have had for Kelly and Penelope.

Part of the bond between Max and Daniel involves them breathing in sync together and having similar physical states.

It is implied that Daniel and Max are synced up with each other while Max overtakes Alonso for the WDC, and that Max is "driving like Daniel."

It is implied that Max is now comfortable with having Jos and Raymond around Daniel because Max's younger half-sister is also around, and it's a family atmosphere. In contrast, Daniel's family is only present by implication in dream-memories.

On top of the car, Max holds up and kisses three fingers, arguably for his three championships. But Daniel (and others presumably) knows that it is actually three for Daniel.

Even though they are physically synced to a high degree and are sharing dreams, memories, and food, Max and Daniel continue to have very different perceptions of what the bond is like. Max is very happy and fulfilled and deeply in love, but Daniel is, uh. Not.

The fic ends in a bittersweet, disturbing note that is meant to imply that in giving up on hiding his identity as an omega, Daniel has given up on trying to be what he thinks of as "himself," including not just his own family and alpha status, but also having his own dreams and his memories.

Thank you so so so so so so so so so for coming on this wild, absurd, unhinged ride with me.

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