schmuckloaf

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Mister Rogers

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anyone else remembers this fine Halloween classic

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Why is this heat so hot 😩

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every day i am haunted by their notifications

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"we have to ban porn to make it advertiser friendly!" And then all they advertise is porn

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me: truly a well crafted tragedy is such a bittersweet pleasure to take in and serves a purpose, not just as a sad story but as a reminder that even that which ends badly might not have happened in vain or for nothing. The love, the grief, the actions still meant something simply for having taken place and for us partaking in it.

me when said tragedy is about to actually unfold, sweating: ok but consider this. i dont want this to happen

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Fingering the seeds out of this jalapeño was so erotic i need to go beat off

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Been getting really into orange juice lately

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When I die I wanna be resurrected as the crab in the bucket of crabs that pulls the other crabs back into the bucket. And I'll love doing it

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𓂸

phallus

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bro last night was totally redacted! last night was fully expunged from the record. bro, do you... can you remember last night? what did we do...? what did... did we hurt someone? bro? why won't you look at me? what did I do...? whose blood is this...? bro...?

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i have a youtube video about the use of jumpscares in horror games playing in the background while I work, and it reminded me of the single worst jumpscare i've ever experienced, which happened while I was playing a little game I like to call... Google Maps. (you play Google Maps by turning on street view, zooming in to somewhere that looks interesting, and clicking on any 360 photo views that people might have uploaded. i have spent many hours of my life playing Google Maps)

Anyway, spin this guy around to see something that legitimately made me jump so hard that I damn near threw my drink across the room

(more info under the cut if you're worried about what you'll see)

there's a fish very close to the camera

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are you five nights at fucking kidding me

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So I have this headcanon about Larry...