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the defense’s eyes are up here

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magnet

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I have to read a thousand splendid suns by khaled hosseini at least once a year so that I can fully understand my limits and how much I can cry and feel for fictional characters that aren’t really that fictional because we all know a Nana who has never had the chance to life fully her life and that has massive repercussions on how she sees a burden in har daughter who at the same time is the reason she keeps living, we all know a Mariam who’s had to live her whole life with guilt and grief and the felling of never being enough but wanting to be more and more for the people she loves, we all know a Laila whose dreams were so big they could fill a castle but said castle crushed right on her head, we all know the feeling of being a woman and never truly knowing how much you can suffer and what your limit is until you are forced to understand it the hard way, and you finally get it. you’re a woman and that suffering has no limits and we all know that feeling and we have to live with it for the rest of our lives and that just makes me -

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I should die I don't want to live anymore its too hard

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I want to kill myself

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Help Randa get her family out of Gaza to Egypt. Please guys all the help that you can give to her and her family. Donate if you can or reblog to get the word out!

this is a message she left to my friends sister and that my friend translated

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Milly + Meryl

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can’t wait to be a middle aged mom sitting outside my house with my mom besties like the ladies from reply 1988 where we just prepare our veggies gossiping about our families talking about my kids like you would not BELIEVE what theses little shits got up to now

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next in my series of doctors i’m drawing for the 60th

someone a lot of you have pretty much requested, no. 9 :D

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bitter water by the oh hellos and queerness

now before anyone comes with their "um actually its about xyz 🤓☝️" shhhh idc this is just my interpretation anyway let's get into the homosexuality of it all

ok so the first verse is obviously about the protagonist's lover

"Oh, fair and flighty love My aerolite above The only dove I see"

I think in the first line "flighty" is sarcastic and parrots what the protagonist has probably been told about their relationship/queerness "its just a phase"/ "you'll grow out of it"/ "its not reliable" etc etc

calling their lover an aerolite (a meteorite made of stone) is confirming that they do indeed love their lover and hold them very dear calling them their star, their beautiful shining commet and then again calls them "the only dove I see" in other words the only peace they feel

Could you love me more If by the sun and moon I swore That I would never flee?

some more cute romance "could you love me more" is more of a "you love me so much i dont know if you are capable of loving anyone more"

"if by the sun and moon I swore that i would never flee?" showing their devotion and how their love feels almost devine

Well, I still taste you on my lips Lovely bitter water

"I still taste you on my lips Lovely bitter water" I think this one's pretty self explanatory and I also think that the bitter water here can be referenced to the album's name wormwood which is a plant used to treat alot of ailments and can be boiled and drank. I think the protagonist is saying their lover is someone that heals them even if that healing is bitter at times.

The terrible fire of old regret is honey on my tongue And I know I shouldn't love you I know I shouldn't love you but I do

here I think the protagonist is saying that the pain of being queer (internalized and extarnlized homophobia) was worth it if it meant being with their lover in the end

I feel it in my soul I feel the empty hole The cup that can't be filled

now this is where things get interesting. the person the protagonist is talking to is no longer their lover, it's their past.

here they are lamenting the loss of their old home or family due to their queerness and the gaping hole it leaves them with

And I feel it in my blood In the fire and the flood The beast that can't be killed

here they are directing their words towards their own demons perhaps their own internalized homophobia

notice how here the words are angrier compared to the previous part that's more somber almost like one is grieving a lost battle and the other is still fighting an eternal one.

Even now you mark my steps Lovely bitter water

here the protagonist says how even after leaving for so long they can still find traces of their old family in how they behave and navigate their life

they also call their family bitter water here but unlike their lover who heals them from their pain and past their family is just bitter water that tried to "cure" them from who they were

all the days of our delight are poison in my veins

the protagonist's heart breaks remembering their old family even the happy memories they shared are excruciating now

you can see the contrast from the first chorus. the positive here preceeds the negative unlike the part about their lover "the terrible fire....honey on my tongue".

I know I shouldn't love you

I know

unlike the first chorus they don't finish this with "but I do" signifying how they can't for sure say they love their family anymore, they don't know if they ever will

I am not a fool entire

No, I know what is coming

You'll bury me beneath the tree I climbed when I was a child

now I have two interpretations for this part

its either directed at their lover or their family :

lover: the protagonist knows that their love is strong and will stand the test of time, they know they will grow old together and they'll be buried by their lover in a place that made then happy. they know they will be okay, they know they are loved.

family: the protagonist acknowledges that their family will never accept who they are and will bury their memory of the protagonist as the child they once loved under their favorite tree.

I know I shouldn't love you I know I shouldn't love you, but I do

again there's two interpretations for this depending on how you interpreted the previous part, this could be directed at either :

lover: again affirming their undying love for them and that despite it all, despite every bit of pain, the protagonist will choose their lover again and again and again.

family: the protagonist acknowledges their family aren't good people, that they will never love the protagonist the same again. the protagonist accepts that and chooses to let them go peacefully they know they shouldn't love them but they still do, maybe not for the family's sake but for the protagonists own good and ability to move on. the protagonist can love whoever they want and their family will be a bittersweet memory.

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marriage happenings

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episode 2 // movie

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You don’t have to lose yourself to find happiness, you know.

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I have just come to the conclusion that no matter how hard I try, it just isn’t enough.

I am not enough.

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"Cousins" kissing

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Strawberry dress 🍓 | Do not repost or use without permission.

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Le baiser  | Do NOT repost or use without permission.