scp-blog-archive

[scp-blog-archive]

“Denny’s isn’t even that good!”

I made a comic about Clef and Rights. For u, scp-l4-clef-alto-001

I don’t know what possessed them to go to Denny’s (nobody wants to go to Denny’s. You wind up in Denny’s through a series of terrible events and get sick shortly afterwards) but it surely ends with Clef throwing up in the parking lot of Denny’s while Rights rummages through her purse for some TUMs and wet-wipes.

[scp-blog-archive]

[scp-blog-archive]

I would pay for a recording of Kondraki getting fucked with a scalpel. Top dollar. Whatever Kondraki offers for it, I'll double it.

I do not believe I would survive the endeavour, nor would I wish to even partake in such an activity. But, for the sake of curiosity,

What’s your starting bid?

[scp-blog-archive]

Kon, we are starting up a betting pool of 'can Clef beat up a cat without getting hurt' you in or out? Does not take into the fact i will probably get punched by Rights when she finds out.

Add me to that list of people who’re gonna punch you. What the fuck, Clef? I knew you were an asshole, but beating up a cat?

[scp-blog-archive]

more frames

[scp-blog-archive]

Petition for Clef to stop.

[scp-blog-archive]

WELL they think because i tried to eat my shotgun that im somehow suicidal.

Or something.

Fuck if i know.

[scp-blog-archive]

What's the worst injury you got on the job?

Does the whole Konny snapping my neck thing count?

Im counting it.

Im going to say the time Konny snapped my neck was the worst.

[scp-blog-archive]

This is a reminder to all Foundation staff to refrain from attacking cats for frivolous reasons.

[scp-blog-archive]

"Tell me where it hurts."

Maybe it was the pain, or maybe Kondraki’s brain just hated him and wanted to make absolutely everything as awkward as possible, but he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Want me to point it out on the doll, Cleffie?” he asked. “Ah, I dunno, fucking everywhere. Must be a good day for you when I go and get myself royally fucked up, huh?” It took him another few seconds, but then he was narrowing his eyes suspiciously. “What are you doing around here, anyway? I bet this was your fucking fault. Somehow.”

[scp-blog-archive]

This deodorant commercial thinks it’s being really artsy by having her roll it on and some butterflies land on her armpits but let me tell you those butterflies are in it for the sugar in her sweat and not the artificial smells of the deodorant so congratufuckinglations you just advertized your deodorant as being shit.

[scp-blog-archive]

It brightened up his day to see the man flinch as he did, though he put on his worried face just for show. It was a mask, and they both knew it…Kondraki had been around his bullshit long enough to know the man didn’t REALLY feel worried about others, not in the sense most did.

“Nope, something about ‘The devil doesn’t need to meet the boogie man’ honestly, if I was truly a devil you’d think i’d RUN this place by now..” As for the age comment he shrugged it off, they both were in their older years..and only one was huffing and puffing like a madman who ran a mile. At least HE himself wasn’t looking to fall over at any second and perhaps, he could only wish, drop dead.

“A Favor.” He repeated smirking, the look oddly smug as he did so. “Yes, well I could have just let you die back there so in a way you could say….i I own your life.” He chuckled, lowering his arms and once again stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Look I know I know, im a piece of shit. Bla bla bla, i’ve heard it all before Konny. Here is the deal, I take you back to your room. I get you some pain killers, won’t even TELL anyone…but in return you owe me.”

[scp-blog-archive]

He only snorted at the comment. Frodo would have worked but it seemed so…mainstream. Something to easy to say, something anyone could label the small ginger boy. No he wanted his little label to be out there, and for the intended target to know just WHO branded them with the name, hence why Onion fit so damn well in the situation with Bran. The boy would, hopefully, always hear the nickname and think of the strange smiling Doctor as a result.

They walked in silence for a bit and Clef only stopped when his companion did, with a flair of dramatics the man turned around and spread his arms wide. Almost as if the man was offering a sort of assurance that he had no ideas of harming the other.

“You’re smart not to believe that im here out of the goodness of my obviously saint like heart.” Kondraki was smart, Clef could give him that at least…but the grin never left the man’s face even as he lowered his arms. “I want lots of things Konny, I want my task force life back, I want Gears to let me have a bed in my office. I wand her too…” he paused clicking his tongue before continuing. “What I want from YOU I a favor.”

[scp-blog-archive]

“What? Not to fond of that one? Im sure we can think of something better…” Something about horrible nicknames just worked so well at getting under other’s skin, that and if the nickname stuck the person would never forget him. It was to make a statement, Clef could very easily shape people’s lives by just a slip of the tongue to the right people. “Yesss….Onion.” he grinned pleased that the little nickname for Bran was already making its way to other sites. “WELL you SEE Konny when a man finds another person interesting they give that person a label, It just so happens that Dr Bran’s label is Onion. Yours is interesting too you want to hear—”

The two continued to go down the halls, twisting and turning down corridors so sleek and white it was almost impossible to tell just where they came from. Everything in the Foundation looked to sterile…except during containment breaks.

Those were always fun.

“Oh darn, you found out what I was doing. Sneaking you into the infirmary to give you secret drugs which would of course cause you to become weak and useless. Leaving ME! Doctor Alto Clef able to finally take my revenge and snap YOUR neck, really Konny? You Honestly think im that stupid—no, don’t answer that. I was taking you back to YOUR office but by all means if you rather go by yourself and risk running into another d-class on the loose. By all means.”

he made a grand sweeping gesture with his hands and moved to the side to allow Kondraki to pass him.

“Go right ahead. Im sure in your state you’d be able to take ANYONE down…Let alone bullet resistant thugs.”

[scp-blog-archive]

“I am very sure I saw tears in your eyes Kon Kon.” Aww, Kondraki believed he threatening to kick his ass for telling anyone would stop him. Clef chuckled to himself already working a list up in his head just who he should tell first. Maybe Bright? Lord knew the man couldn’t keep his mouth shut when it came to secrets…

It didn’t even come to mind to Clef that Kondraki probably would kick his ass for spreading the lie, just that it was fun and that his coworker was funny when all worked up. Even so Clef did find it in his heart to chuckle and look over his shoulder as Kondraki began following him down the hall. Only that Clef probably wasn’t going to be leading him to the medical offices.

“If it works there is no shame in it. Its a way to get further in life after all.” He dismissed the claim and obvious invitation to fight with a wave of his hand and a short shrug of his shoulders. “As for the whiskey I DONT think you deserve it quite yet Konny, follow me and i’ll get you something to help either way.”

[scp-blog-archive]

“I don’t think blacking out from trauma is being a pussy…not like laying on the ground and looking about to cry thanks to one little D-class attack is..” He mussed softly, not seeming to notice the sweet sarcastic smile that his rival gave him. Let him have his little digs at his person, they both knew they each had dirt on the other.

“I can help, we work for the same place. We are co-workers and we need to ‘help’ each other.” What Clef was trying to do exactly wasn’t very obvious but the man did seem to want to make the poor Kondraki uncomfortable. “What can I say, we are /friends/ I want to HELP you.” Lies lies and more lies, but hey no need to play ALL his cards right away.

“Probably, we all know how much the o5 love to bitch about you…ME however get away with everything.” without waiting for Kondraki to follow the man began walking down the hall, only pausing to make sure the wounded man was following.

[scp-blog-archive]

Ah, the knowledge that he had caused another person pain. On one hand it was quite nice to see the very smug Kondraki forced to have help by the one person the man hated. On the other hand lord knew it would just make their relationship worse, still worth it if Clef had anything to say.

“It was, my life flashed before my eyes. I remembered where I put some bullet shells and everything. So funny how that works doesn’t it?” Oh it was quite obvious Kondraki, if given the chance, would do it again. The only thing was would he put more of a fight up and would Kondrkai get away wound free next time?

No.

“Well then, I think or two opinions are different on this subject. If im going to be throwing D-Class at something I want them strong. Don’t want MY men dying…as for mutiny I wonder who planted THAT idea in their heads?” He said smoothly, forcing his hands into his Jacket’s pockets and giving Konny a little grin. No one could ever prove that the mismatched doctor was the one who planted the seed of mutiny in the D-Class’s head. That would just be a HORRIBLE violation of his position of power, and what would it get him in the long run?

“When I am sure I am in polite company I will keep that in mind. Need help walking Konny?”