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file this one next to "socratian poetry" under "tumblr users trying to sound smart by using specific language and revealing they don't know what they're talking about"

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Get your crumbs up. Get your nothing up.

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looking at pictures of characters on my phone at night feels like this sometimes

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i think janitor should be the highest paying job in a society

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I must say, Steven Universe is a lot more enjoyable when you don't need to read through a heaping helping of Tumblr discourse about who's secretly abusing whom this week.

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i dont lose interest in favorite characters they just get added to my extra inventory slots

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"these researchers published a paper on something that literally any of us could have told you 🙄" ok well my supervisors wont let me write something in my thesis unless I can back it up with a citation so maybe it's a good thing that they're amplifying your voice to the scientific community in a way that prevents people from writing off your experiences as annecdotal evidence

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guy: it sucks that the train back is such a long ride

his friend who is trying to get him to wear foot shaped shoes with toes but is taking it slow: it does

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I’m so scared of 2020, something seems to frightening about this year. It’s gonna be Y2K all over again. The Black Plague is going to come back. I swear. I fuckin swear.

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deer eating together

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the real you isn’t as scared as you think

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Ploop ploop ploop

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well at least i don’t have kids