scramratz - Tumblr blog

[scramratz]

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

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I’m way behind on Tumblr. Barely keeping up on tiktok with Butch positivity.

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How am I supposed to fuck my gf with all these Olive Garden Unlimited Breadsticks in my tummy???

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i too have a pressing question: why are straights like this

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why are bathroom sinks designed like that. infuriating

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plagues history and global epidemiology as an autistic special interest was already a heavy topic but not a day goes by I dont briefly recall drunkenly telling people at the bar in autumn 2019 “yeah the next pandemic will probably be a coronavirus and we’re due for one”

if they remember that i have to wonder if they think they met the devil at the club that night

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Terfism is targeted at radicalising older-middle-aged women in order to sever the otherwise naturally-forming bond that makes trans women and older-middle-aged cis women the strongest of comrades via our shared interests and experiences.

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Falkor only allows kisses on his terms

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Got to do the coolest object-head commission for @blue-kolach!

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my beloved weasel! she's very small for an adult but the loudest goddamn thing when she gets lonely <3

Weird lookin weasel

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My little gremlin <3

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This is my dog when he blurry. His name is falkor

That’s a dust bunny you can’t fool me

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here’s my groinky lil guy! unfortunately he passed 2 months ago, but he stays silly in my heart

bonus pic of him being normal

I’m sorry for your loss :o(

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Well you see minors under 25 years old should not be allowed to get gender reassignment surgery because what if they go to the clinic but instead of giving them a normal penis the nurses mess up and give them the evil penis. That's irreversible

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hey do people know about this painting??? because it hangs in the art gallery in my city and it makes me a little insane every time i see it

anyway it’s called the victory of faith (1891) and it’s by saint george hare

**actually, i’m editing this to add a closeup of their faces too:

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Old as shit skinny white woman in bed hooked up to 200 tubes and machines surrounded by her crying family, she looks up towards the eldest daughter and raises her frail hand. Everyone stops, listening raptly. She coughs twice and then clears her throat, and beckons the daughter closer. ‘i should’ve eaten her pussy. I should’ve rawed that roast beast like a rabid dog on its last legs. I would’ve made her bleed you know. She would’ve thought she came so hard that her period started. The squirt would’ve drowned me, but I’d swallow every last drop of rna so I could sequence it for the years to come. They’d have called me the krypt keeper. I would’ve chewed so hard her gynecologist would’ve woke up in the middle of the night sweating like a stuck pig. But I didn’t. That’s why I’m surrounded by you fucking bozos.’ With her final words she breaths her agonol breath and falls backwards before flatlining, leaving her family in the quiet hospice room stunned and teary eyed in the wake of her passing.