screamingmoonpeanut

[screamingmoonpeanut]

Mystery books with romance subplot, they just don't get you like i do.

[screamingmoonpeanut]

so i dont normally post anywhere at all but smth so insane just happened that made me feel like yk what? tumblr is where i shd talk abt this. So this stray puppy showed up at my house and everyone in my house was excited for a while, like oooh puppy, but yk like puppies do , this one started following us around and wanting attention and stuff yk?? but the thing is there were already a few stray cats that have lived at this house for almost longer than even i have like woahh (it's my grandma's house) , obviously the puppy is fighting with the kittens, the adult cat there is just like this isn't any of my buisness and just..ignores it ig?

anyway that was the context , so this puppy kept fighting the cats and wasnt allowing us to go near the cats at all but it was a cute puppy, my mom bought it some balls to distract it from us and all but it still just wanted to hang out, my grandma eventually got so tired of the damn puppy that she tried to throw it over the wall of our yard? ig like she threw it out and it hit the wall and just dropped to the ground (alive) and she turned around and went "oh," , picked it up and threw it again, and it just dropped onto the bricks and started whining to get off..like god

and she didnt stop she went to another part of the house and threw it away like THROWING it over the fucking wall guys, and then you could hear the puppy whining for a while and now it's quiet and i can't see it, i mean i tried to see it over the wall and all but i just couldnt

and obviously i tried to stop my grandmother but she was like "no if we dont throw it away, it'll just come back" . these ppl are raising me. what the fuck.

i hope the puppy's alive

[screamingmoonpeanut]

You go to your friend’s house and Jeff Bezos is there. You’re like “are you insane? That’s Jeff Bezos, he’s evil, we need to throw him out” and your friend tries to convince you that no poor Jeff Bezos has amnesia and is in a lot of trouble so you have to help him. This is insane to you but you’re in love with your friend so you’re like okay…and then Jeff Bezos regains his memories and runs off to live out his queer love story. You’re like “well that was INSANE wasn’t it? Let’s go do boozy brunch to get over it and also I might be in love with you”…..but your friend/love of your life is like “this is awkward but I’m actually the new CEO of Amazon”…….that would be terrible wouldn’t it? Well something really similar happened to my good friend crowley

[screamingmoonpeanut]

Always for you, Evans. It’s ok I didn’t need my heart..

Opening the Map

Lily Potter sat on her bed with a piece of folded up parchmentin front of her. She had finally nicked the map from her where her brother,James, kept it hidden. Lily had spent an entire summer looking and she’d almostgiven up until she realized the Halloween feast tonight would keep everyonebusy for a few hours. As much as she hadn’t wanted to skip the feast, shecouldn’t pass up the opportunity to nick the map. It was a good thing too.James, probably less concerned than usual about the map’s safety now that hewas busy snogging his new girlfriend all the time. Either that, or he’d rushedoff to stuff his face at the Halloween feast and not bothered to hide itproperly. Lily snickered, his knickers drawer, really? 

She’d known about the map, of course, since James firstnicked it from their Dad’s office during his first Christmas break home fromHogwarts. They had overheard their Uncle George talking to Dad about it, although Lily had a sneaking suspicion that maybe Uncle George had wanted them to learn about it because she was quite sure his eyes had flickered towards their hiding spot on the stairs. James was the only one at Hogwarts then, so she hadn’t minded much when he’d been the one to find it. It wasn’t of any use to her. Now, though, she felt she deserved a chance to pull some pranks of her own without the worry of being caught. Not to mention the secret passage ways to Hogsmeade would be great to have access to. 

Now, if only she could remember how James had accessed it. He’d certainly bragged about figuring it out enough. Lily swore at herself for deciding to ignore his bragging, she could only remember how to close the map. That wasn’t helpful at the moment though. She hesitated, holding her wand above the old parchment, then tried the first thing that came to mind.

“Open,” Nothing. Lily mentally rolled her eyes at herself, that had been a stupid guess. Who in their right mind would make it that easy to get in?

“Please show me Hogwarts?” Again, nothing.

“I have things to manage?” That was a stupid variation on how to close the map, but Lily didn’t know what else to do but try anything that popped into her head. She was not going to give this back to James after finally getting ahold of it.

Thirty minutes later Lily was running out of ways to try and open the map. What was the point of going to the trouble of getting the map if she couldn’t use it? She was mindlessly tapping her wand on the parchment out of irritation.

“Oh come on, I just want to pull a few pranks without getting caught–Oh!” 

To her surprise words started to form on the page. 

Mr. Moony offers his compliments to whoever is wanting to create some mischief, but must sadly inform them that unless you swear we can’t share.

Mr. Wormtail solemnly agrees, it’s such a shame they won’t be able to manage.

Mr. Padfoot would like to point out that even if they were up to no good, they couldn’t out-prank the Marauders. We are the Kings at this school.

Mr. Prongs agrees and wonders who might possibly be trying to swear they are up to no good? 

Lily was stunned, this was the oddest map ever. The words started to fade and she quickly tapped the map again, deciding to just go with it.

“Lily, my name is Lily.”

Lily?

The writing seemed to almost hesitate, then started up again as her name faded away.

Mr. Moony is wondering why Lily would be pulling a prank?

Mr. Wormtail thinks Mr. Prongs is sharing things he aught not to be

Mr. Padfoot thinks Mr. Prongs is trying to impress Miss Prongs and deserves a detention cleaning bedpans in the Hospital Wing, the prat.

Mr. Prongs thinks Mr. Padfoot is a git and is sure Lily could pull a prank if she was serious.

Mr. Padfoot thinks there’s a strong possibility that Miss Prongs is, in fact, not serious.

Mr. Moony would like to share his disapproval in Mr. Padfoot’s poor taste in jokes.

Now she was really confused. She felt like she was being discussed by people–not even people, but a map!– as if she weren’t in the room! Lily tried not to feel insulted, she could pull a prank better than almost anyone. Kings? She may as well call herself Queen then. After all, everyone knows who really runs things in a kingdom. She’d learned from James, after all, and watched out all the ways he got caught. Lily almost never got caught, not to mention that she’d perfected the art of talking her way out of trouble. And if she could just figure out how to open this map, there would be no more obstacles to trying to out-do James.

“I pull amazing pranks!” she said indignantly while tapping the map again, before reminding herself she was getting huffy with a map.

Mr. Padfoot is sure Miss Prongs can pull pranks now since apparently Mr. Prongs wants to assist her with our secrets.

Mr. Moony wonders if Miss Prongs should focus on her homework instead?

Mr. Wormtail wonders if Mr. Prongs is thinking with his head?

Mr. Prongs would like to inform everyone he has no idea what they are talking about.

Mr. Padfoot would like to kindly ask his best mate to come off it, and thinks Mr. Prongs is trying to hard to win Miss Prongs over.

Miss Prongs? Win her over? What the actual hell was going on? Lily was starting to think maybe the magic on the map was starting to wear off. After all, it had been her dad’s while he was at school, and her Uncle’s before that. And it sounded like these people had made the map, and who knows how long ago that was. She looked down to see three different handwritings that all seemed very busy picking on the one called Mr. Prongs while continuously referring to her as Miss Prongs, which seemed to be a running joke. She signed, if he was being singled out then she guessed she should probably use that to her advantage. Boys were always so obvious. 

“Mr. Prongs, I, Lily, request assistance opening the map,” she made herself sound as confident as possible. The written argument between the four of them stopped mid scroll and faded.

Mr. Padfoot wants Mr. Prongs to know he’s going to break his broomstick the next time he sees him.

Mr. Prongs would like Lily to know she can always ask him for help.

Mr. Moony would like to inform Mr. Prongs that he’s pathetic.

Mr. Wormtail agrees that Mr. Prongs is…up to no good.

Mr. Padfoot thinks Mr. Wormtail should shut his fat mouth

Lily grinned, “I swear I am!” only the handwriting from Mr. Prongs appeared after that.

Do you solemnly swear?

“I solemnly swear! I solemnly swear I’m up to no good!” Lily almost yelled, laughing triumphantly as the map blossomed over the pages like watercolor with hundreds of labels in the Great Hall. It was obvious why James was so keen to keep this nearby.

“Bloody hell, this is fantastic!” She wanted to jump up and down like a five year old at Christmas. Once she had calmed herself down she watched the map until the giant mass of students in the Great Hall began to disperse towards the four Common Rooms.

Reluctantly tapped the paper and whispered “Mischief managed.”

Of course she would be sharing this with her friends tomorrow, but for tonight she just wanted to keep the victory to herself. There was something about the map that she felt almost drawn to. It was silly, she thought, to be affectionate towards a map, but here she was, grinning like she just made a new friend. Climbing into her bed, she drew her wand one last time for the night, and tapped the map.

“Thanks Mr. Prongs, you’re the best.”

Lily felt a bit stupid, but she did owe him. Whoever he was. However this charm worked, the person who cast it trusted her for some reason. She wondered vaguely why as tucked the map away where she was sure her brother wouldn’t look. Not that it mattered much, she thought. As far as she knew, there was no way for him to get up to the girls’ dormitories. She smiled into her pillow, all the while missing the last message scrawled across the paper, fading into nothing.

Always for you, Evans.