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To the bus driver who just fucking passed me by without stopping: I hope you step on a hundred legos
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To all medical practitioners who fatshame their patients and order unnecessary tests, go fuck yourselves and I hope you live with crippling self worth issues for the rest of your miserable lives <3
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You're a coward and a bitch and I for one cannot WAIT for when your ass gets handed to you in court for all of the bullshit you've pulled <3
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Not to be dramatique but if you just fell over dead tomorrow I would laugh and also everyone you used to call a friend would have a party on your grave
#not condoning violence or self violence of any sort#but this is MY vent blog that i never give to anyone so theyll never see it#anyways i hope you fucking leave and if not then perish#sick and tired of seeing you abuse my friends and then whinge and whine as if youre the victim#id say get a life but you've never had one and i can't see a universe in which you actually make one for yourself
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Actually still laughing about "I've never insulted you" and "I've always been completely honest with you". Literally I am watching a montage in my head of every instance to the contrary with the benny hill theme playing.

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Seek help. For real, not just making therapy appointments for appearances and then lying about everything to your therapist.
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When all is said and done and you've burned every last bridge, you can scream and blame everyone else but yourself but that doesn't change the fact that you lit the fires and continued to fan the flames.
#i hoped that you might take this as a lesson that things need to change#but you can't give a response that isn't a goddamn lie and quite frankly I'm done trying to be nice#i wont waste my time on people who wont even try to better themselves
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Shut up shut up shut UP
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If I accidentally open tumblr one more time I'm gonna scream
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*takes three consecutive dabs of indica* if this can't break my hyperfocus then I will just die in farming hell
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List of bullshit (in no particular order)
-adhd
-cant tell if I'm in a bad place mentally or not bc I can't trust my own perception
-is my paxil actually doing shit or should I try different meds
-or maybe I need adhd meds as it seems like most of my current issues are stemming from there
-but that's like. Effort and doctors appointments and weaning off shit for no real guarantee of results so. Fuck me for wanting to function like a normal-ish adult lmao
-want to write or draw so bad but can't start
-feels like nothing I'm doing is what I should be doing
-am I in my head so much that it's going to ruin all my relationships or am I just overreacting again? A memoir
-feeling both like I'm too invested in dr and also that I'm forcing it at this point and should I try to branch out to let something else into my brain
-does it even matter what I'm hyperfocused on at this point? I think I'm always going to feel guilty for indulging in my favorite things no matter the situation
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Look ig i've been off my meds for a hot second but could suicidal ideation PLEASE stop slapping my bones so hard
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Every so often I throw a dart at my brain like it's a spinning wheel full of predetermined Strong Kin Moods and right now the mood is loving ma/ki haruk/awa. also missing canonmates. I just. Wanna find a cozy safe little space and drag himiko and maki into it and fall asleep. Nighty night
#sometimes i ask my brain hey can we focus on adult life and responsibilities and shit?#and my brain says no absolutely not now here's a heaping plate of kin feelings no one will see or care for#and i say yes sir thank you brain sir
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Also small and irrelevant in comparison but if I don't find a lying bastard character for my brain to default to in the middle of these brief crises I WILL start kinning tayla. I feel it coming on already I can't fucking do this scoob
#can't find a character who doesnt have previous emotional or traumatic ties and still need to kin? ocs are for projecting#me making tayla in 2013: she's terrible i hate her#me looking at tayla in 2020: hmm. kin.
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