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Penelope: Yeah, this shroud is taking me 20 years.

Suitors:

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Dolphins doing cartwheels with an aquarium guest.

(via Ant.Giovanni)

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They're selling dollars for 100 cents down at the. bank

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when you save alarms for specific things but then you just keep reusing them. like sure wake me up at the chocolate milk alarm, what do i care

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Dear god... TWO OF THEM

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i love making ppl laugh . its like ….. u liked that didnt u 😏 lol

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I used to work with a guy who, due to cancer-related hormonal issues when he was younger, was just freakishly strong. He could throw a baseball across an entire field no problem, and he did this without looking more than the normal blue collar jacked.

The cancer was obviously bad for him, but in this case had positive side affects. I think the same sort of relationship exists between Frenchmen and house music.

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garfield caused a controversy a decade ago by publishing this on veterans day

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they got deltarune on at the bar

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the world gets a lot easier when you learn to be wrong without getting pissed or doubling down. saying, ‘you’re right, that makes sense, I was misinformed, thanks for telling me’ instead of going to war over something your ego’s latched onto will save you time, energy, and the embarrassment of sounding like a whiny little bitch

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oops I accidentally separated myself emotionally from everyone to avoid feeling any bad feelings & it worked but at the expense of my sense of connectedness and belonging