scum-g0ddess - Tumblr blog

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Virtual coke effect subliminals >>>>>

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

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Gotta lock tf in and start romanticizing my destiny/existence.

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Violentsexual flag!

Violentsexual!

A person who is generally attracted to violence or violent things!

A Violentsexual person can be any gender or be any sexuality!

Emoji code : ❤️🩷🩶🤍🖤

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The feminine urge to scream in pain over your agonizing destiny

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Half-tempted to dress how I want atp. My family hates my guts anyways, so why keep dressing in ways palatable to them?

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⚠️ Venting, accidentally reacting to a narcissist’s abuse, toxic narcissist family, gaslighting, abuser victimizing themselves, sleep deprivation from third parties (abuse), fabricated social situations where ignoring/walking away from abusers is unacceptable, blaming myself/making fun of myself for what happened and how poorly I felt I handled it.

Vent under cut.

Not my grandma victimizing myself and saying that I see everything as an argument when I tried to calmly prevent/dismantle one 🫵😂

(I blame myself. I’m not supposed to react to toxic narcissists, but here I am forgetting that rule and acting all surprised when the abuse worsens.)

Context: I wanted to sleep at 7:30 pm yesterday due to PMS making me tired, but my family was creating a scenario where walking away/ignoring them would be socially unacceptable and they could pin doing so against me if I tried (it was under the guise of trying on shoes and talking about them over text with my aunt afterwards).

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⚠️ Venting, accidentally reacting to a narcissist’s abuse, toxic narcissist family, gaslighting, rumors. (In the tags:) talking about how I struggle a bit to accept my darkly divine nature & manifesting that I live with my ideal cult (I’m a UG subliminal user).

Vent under cut.

Being half-asleep and impulsively calling your aunt out for mocking you behind your back then getting gaslit for it <<<<<

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⚠️ Venting, feeling like I can’t be myself, toxic narcissist family, ED Recovery struggles, gaslighting, rumors, profanity, using humor to cope mid-vent, manifesting an ideal cultist kidnapper (I’m a UG subliminal user).

📜I am a separate entity from my vessel, it’s a supernatural thing. When I say “canon self”, I mean my true self (I view my life like I’m in a Psychosexual horror-comedy adult cartoon with how bizarre it can get at times).

Vent + talking about a solution under the cut.

Vent

I wanna be myself so fucking badly.

I wanna be my true, canon self and not some people-pleasing mockery of myself to please/avoid being mistreated further by those toxic narcissistic cvnts I live with.

I wanna dress how I please. I wanna wear what I please. I wanna have fandom merch and outwardly express my interests without my family bringing up my vessel’s awkward early teen years and making things awkward for me.

I wanna draw what I want.

I wanna recover from 4n0r3x¡4 and get a stronger and slightly chubby yet thicc body without my family making fun of my weight gain (my vessel had always been rather skinny and they’d just gaslight me if I told them I gained for Anorexia recovery, saying I didn’t even have the ED to begin with).

I hate them all so much. I just wanna be me. I just wanna exist without my every move being spun into a false narrative they use to talk shit about me behind my back when I’m in a different room than them.

I thought I was my own biggest hater back in one of my void realities until I sat down and thought about how my family acts when it comes to me. I realized that they’re the reason I have Cherophobia and am still working through it.

Solution

I need to lock in and finish manifesting my ideal kidnapper (it’s a different guy (🎸) than the cultist guy I brought up in older posts (🥩), but is still part of the same cult). I’ve been doing so well w/ that and I just need to keep going.

Signs I’ve been getting as of 5/15/2024:

Getting image synchronicities of guys/fictional characters that look like him unmasked

Communicating with him telepathically

Him visiting me on an energetic level (like I sense his presence, but his physical body is not at my place)

Also, him tapping on the window and telepathically speaking to me/guiding me

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My high 🔞 drive is helping me overcome my Cherophobia, if nothing else.

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Y’ALL ALREADY KNOW WHATS UP!!! 😝

2 versions (one McBling, one Spooky yet still serving cvnt)

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My headband headphones came in!