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Funk.

So, it’s been a while since I’ve been on here. (forgot my password hehe) A lot has changed! I finished school already. I earned my certificate in phlebotomy last week! So now that I’m no longer as busy as I was before, I feel kind of.....lost. I’ve spent so much time preparing for school and saving money, then I go to my classes and do well in them because I loved what I was going for! Then I worked at clinical while working two jobs AND still going to class every Friday. My schedule was packed constantly and I loved it because it meant I was working towards something. Now that school is done, I’m in the stressful process of finding a job. I went from going to school and working with patients (which I adored) to back at the job I’ve been at and it’s honestly making me feel empty and disconnected with everything. I think the last time I felt this way I had just graduated high school. I feel disconnected from people including my family, friends and boyfriend which isn’t a pleasant feeling. Being in a funk and constantly stressed definitely isn’t a good mix! So, I’m beginning to write out a plan on how I’m going to get out of this lovely funk because life is way too short to be sad all of the time! I’m not exactly sure how I’ll do it, but I’m sure I’ll figure something out! I do know that coffee and chocolate tend to lift my spirits (:

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emotionalwords.tumblr.com

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Even though I have my difficulties you still accept me and love me for who I really am. You are my everyday motivation that makes me want to become a better person. Thank you.

Poets Love Her (via poetsloveher)

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Fall in love with somebody who will never let you go to sleep wondering if you still matter.

Unknown (via deeplifequotes)

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Photographed by: Alastair Thain

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Lessons Learned

Before Andrew left I was told that I would learn so many things about myself. At the time I thought those lessons would be learning how to handle distance. Although that is true, I’ve learned so much more about myself. Yes, I have learned that Andrew and I can handle long distances for long periods of time. Is it hard? Sometimes, yes. When things go wrong the first thing I want to do is leap into his arms and cry. When things are great the first thing I want to do is call him but I cant because of the time difference or again, leap into his arms and just hug him. (Knock on wood) but so far we’ve done amazing with all of the changes and I must say, I’m really proud of us. Like I said, there are more lessons I have learned. If you’re currently in a long distance relationship whether it be because of college, work or military; keep reading. Last year, before Andrew left we agreed on getting married when he gets back (which will be next year! :D ) So instead of going to college to get my degree, I chose to do a semester to get my certificate in phlebotomy. Before you ask, no I did not just decide on a whim to do phlebotomy. I’ve been meaning to go to school for that for a while, but that’s a whole different story. I’m ecstatic to be back in school, it keeps my mind off of the distance and reminds me that I’m working towards something. I’m not sure when exactly Andrew will be back or where he will get stationed next so I also thought it would be easier to do only a semester and then work on my degree when we’re married and settled in. I know I’m getting off topic, but I promise you I’m getting to the lessons I have learned! In the whole enrollment process, I noticed that Andrew being gone was always on my mind and that I kept trying to plan our big day regardless of not knowing when he’ll be back. I almost forgot I needed to plan for my own future and to take care of what I needed now. So here it goes, when you’re in a relationship, especially long distance you have to remember to put yourself first sometimes. I’m not saying ditch the relationship because you have to make sure you both communicate when you can and always be willing to work hard. What I’m saying is stop planning ahead and take care of what is going on now. If you don’t take care of you, you can’t make a relationship work ESPECIALLY long distance! If you think you can’t handle distance, you may be right but also keep in the back of your head and I know this sounds so cliche BUT if you really love the person you’re with, you’ll do just about anything to make them happy. So far, I have learned I need to worry about things I have control over now and to continue to better myself for me and my relationship. I have learned that I can do things alone and that I’m a lot stronger than I thought I was. It sucks my boyfriend can’t be there for my birthday, holidays or graduation but what helps me get through is this distance isn’t going to last forever. When he gets back I know our time together will be more precious and I will appreciate is so much more. If you’re currently anxious about long distance just remember to keep up the communication and to find your inner bad ass! Sometimes it’s good to live your life alone. Every day you will continue to learn new things about yourself and your partner! If anything, all of this has brought us so much closer together and I couldn’t be more grateful. Hang in there guys! <3  

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