seahorseforus-blog

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Por eso.

Noisey. Loud. Quiet thoughts.

Happy. Proud. Confusion of sorts.

Emotions. Fixations. Shots of fear.

Security. Content. New worlds to hear.

Commitment. Love. Without loss of time

Begginings. Ends. Drawing a line

Fears. Worries. The future knocks.

What do you say? Let's have the lot

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I'm not easy. I get upset easily. I'm impulsive but I hate change surrounding me. I get fixed on ideas and I am sometimes a complete dick. I want one thing but then I don't often voice that. I chose to come here and I'm so glad I did. I suppose I'm in a bubble sometimes that I forget about what I've left behind. Not in a horrible way just because I'm so caught up in what's going on in my everyday life. I always however, miss you. I don't know how to explain how selfish my thoughts on you moving probably were. I supposed I originally thought when I applied for this programme that this year was about me and me being me before we start our lives together. Not because I don't want to be with you but because I'm still a little bit scared of my depth of feeling towards you and I'm still a little terrified of settling down- it's funny in my head I imagine that as soon as we move in together ahah we turn into 90 years olds straight away (literally) and just sit, eat biscuits and drink tea. I've literally no idea why this thought is in my head. I don't want anyone else. You're right my thoughts are selfish. I haven't thought much about how you're probably feeling. I don't like change but it's good change. I know it's time to grow up and make plans. And I'm ready. With me by your side. Always. I'm gonna validate how you feel more and not just look at myself. I've been only looking at my side of the story but we need to be a support system in this challenge. I love you always. Peace out Grandma P.

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"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

-Winnie The Pooh.

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A Moral Dilema

Christmas is coming, and this time of year is where the pounds and pennys really matter. Some familys spend 1000s on christmas, but some can only manage 100s, even low income familys have to settle with a few pieces of tinsle to make there lives somewhat more 'christmasy'. We also, on an age old christian instinct, tend to have a higher moral bar over the festive period. We help more, we are generally happier and we become somewhat more sympathetic and empathetic.

Thus, my story comences.

The location; Tesco. The time; midday, the start of my shift. The incident; A real moral pickle.

A colleague at work, Omar, who likes to think he is a wonderful muslim, stumbles across an envelope on the floor. The contents; £200. Omar walks over to me and says "ive just found £200, thats my weekend sorted". I respond with a stern "you should hand that in, its not yours", quickly he says "no way".

At this point i am not concerning the incident with my own consequences, im soley thinking of the person whose money has been taken. After a few failed threats of management and potential disciplinaries, Omar still refuses. Therefore i ask mama for advice, not because she is the most morally accurate person i know, but because she is the most fair. Her response was to say nothing, as it wasnt my situation to deal with. And here lies the moral dilema.

This £200 pound could have been all a family had for christmas. That could have been a brother and sisters christmas gifts. Perhaps that was somebodies flight money to get home for the holidays. As i had now been involved, was it not my responsibility to speak up.

On the other hand, wouldnt security cameras and human determination suceed through all of this? Wouldnt the person in question go to security, check the CCTV and see Omar picking up the money, therefore the correct justice would unveil, without a word from me?

Its difficult. I didnt want my relation or position to be questioned, and i certainly didnt want to be a grass. However, morally im good, and to be good is to do good.

At the end of the day Omar told me that he had handed the money in soon after he had found it, and he had been joking with me. On a seperate note, what a lovely thing for a good muslim to do.

But what do you think. Would you have done the same?...

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Interesting day today that I wanted to blog about. My tutor asked me how the children were in Conversation today and I told her they were actually very pleasant and well behaved. Another teacher piped up; 'don't trust Sarah 's opinion she is very positive'. Which got me thinking. Why be a teacher if you truly think all your students are little shits. Yes they are challenging and I may say they are the above but I don't disregard when they are good because of that. Every child has different merits of good and bad behaviour. One may just barely listen and that is brilliant. One child may be barely listening and for them that's bad behaviour. If I wasn't trying to be positive this job would be a darn site harder. I truly think you should just go and do another job if you can't look at the bright side. Teaching is not for the faint hearted. It takes a lot of courage, perseverance, adaption and tears to 'try' and be a good teacher but my god I love it. You decide on the way you react the situations and most of the time I choose the positive side and I do not see anything wrong with that.

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Lists

1) let's make a list of all the things we want to do between now and Christmas 2018.

2) Why do I wanna make a list- because I think it would be cool and can be stuff we wanna do together and separate. We get 20 in total. 5 each and 10 together. Deal?

3) Also, when you next come to Barcelona we are continuing Alphabet dating.

Love you xxx

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I have been a monster these past weeks. You put up with so much. I haven't asked you how you are- I've been super selfish but you've had my back no matter what. When I fall down you hold me up! You're honestly the best thing in my life. I can't even begin to describe how much you mean to me. This adventure is both of ours. I know I'm living your dream and I need to start taking it less for granted. Let's kick this body into action!

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I love this and I love you.

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A musical conversation.

Casey:

I've got a very interesting question...

Elliott:

Shoot.

Casey:

What would you define as a one hit wonder, as apposed to an artist that makes music as a career, but only reaches mainstream success with a single song?

Elliott:

Well a one hit wonder doesn't have a lasting career, this like Silento who made that fucking nae nae song or OMI who did cheerleader, we're not gonna hear from them again. But someone like Megan Trainor got big from one song and continued to be successfully. Personally though, I think in pop music 90% of what makes an artist successful is their label

Casey:

I get that, and agree. But, for example Daniel Powter's; Bad Day, or Sara Bareilles's; love song, they are, by definition one of hits, and in the UK one off artists. However, they both have made multiple albums and now are only known, generally, by those songs.

Do you think in part, its down to our musical attention spans as listeners?

Elliott:

I think part of it is to do with luck, and the rest is whatever the labels chose to push, they chose what's popular.

Casey:

I think so, but what i was cruxing with, was the popularity of songs. and how we can't actually be bothered to listen to a body of work. For example. as a john mayer fan, i know, guaranteed, the best john mayer song is not 'waiting on the world to change', that song is actually pretty wack. And im sure its the same for Tame Impala, Adele etc. I understand the idea behind pushing a song with more of a general appeal, and we all know the argument for popularity vs what is actually good. But how come we as consumers haven't caught on to the fact, that the best slices of an artist are not the ones played on radio

It really got me wondering about the idea of a one hit wonder, and whether they are just essentially money stabs in an otherwise artistically unaltered career

And if artists actually put out their favourite tracks, would we have a more musically diverse world?

Elliott:

Yea but you gotta realise that you and I don't digest music in the same way that Claire from down the street does. Popular music is a product, it's made to be accessible. And that's why pop stars have a shelf life, because if they can't keep up with the new trends, they just lose their appeal. Haven't you noticed that whenever a pop artist looks like he/she is getting replaced they do something wild to reinvent themselves. Nowadays it seems to be the blonde Cesar haircut. Katy Perry probably only has another 3-5 years left of success so she's milking it as much as she can. But yea basically pop stars get mad dough cause Kelly, Ellie and every tom dick and Harry listening to kiss fm on the way to work pays them

Casey:

Its seems unfair, yet makes perfect sense.

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So.... I only recently found out that kinder eggs are banned in America but guns aren't. Perplexed me slightly. Considering they believe people are stupid enough to eat through plastic but not to shoot people. American mentally is slightly weird. Okay not slightly very. Tired ramblings but I know we'd debate this at home cos it's stupid as fuck.

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The calm against the storm. Today is a strange day to be here. With all the unease going on amongst the Catalonians, I'm sat by the beach. The sky is dark and the sea is rough and yet there is a bustle of day to day life. From what I've seen the Catalonion people are passionate and pissed off. They just want the right to vote for what they believe in and yet they are being denied. From the banging of the pans to the conversations I've had- I realise that the world is a lot bigger than I thought. Every country has its problems and life is not all tourist places to visit and sangria on Las Ramblas. Now, I can't say whether I think the Catalonian region should be independent or not as I don't know enough about it but I do understand the passion that comes with sticking up for what you believe in. And I have a sense of pride when I realise that I am now living in a place which seems to share the same passion for politics and morals as me.