seamsofparadise - Tumblr blog

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brb trying this

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ㅤ

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You know what would make a GREAT plot twist? Fidelity.

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"Meanwhile in Tucson"

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ok enough is enough. whichever one of you virgins invented instagram starbucks recipes, die 1000 deaths. I had a customer come in today holding out their phone (full brightness) and looking all shy and Im immediately like 🙄 fine ok, what does the instagram user want me to make for them this time. well this time it's a cringe harry potter themed frappucino. excuse me??? "can you make this for me?" I said excuse me??? -- I mean *customer service voice* "yeah it looks like I have all the ingredients, haha sure!"

ok cringe instagram harry potter frappucino drinker. ok. die. "Ive never had this drink before" yeah I can tell due to the fact that it didnt exist until someone posted a #aesthetic photo of it to instagram 14 hours ago ok. ok,

but whatever, Im paid to put up with this shit. so I add the ingredients all up on my computer and congrats! ur harry potter cringe social media drink has $10 worth of syrup in it. are you happy??? is this what you wanted??? a $10 frappucino??? $10. for a drink. you doubled the price of this drink for ur off-brand "harry potter and the legend of the overpriced starbucks drink" drink. you doubled the price!!! is this how u imagined spending ur day? is this what u wanted to do when u woke up this morning? $10 for a 24oz drink?

and u know, you KNOW the influencer making this recipe doesn't even work at a starbucks cause when it was all said and done the drink looked like shit. my blender was straining against the weight of your sins (and syrups) and Im sweating, Im an animal, Im losing my mind and my blender is getting watered down frappucino syrups everywhere -- u put so much shit liquid in this blender it doesnt even fit in the cup btw. it's making a huge mess. but is it instagramable? no, its fucking ugly. #trending #foryoupage #cringe $10 harold potter drink for adult children,

so are you happy? is ur social media influencer bestie happy? I made ur stupid $10 drink for u. does it taste good? no? well I hope instagram shuts down tomorrow. I hope you read a different book. I hope I never get sober. there is no sign of land. I hope you die. I hope we both die.

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its unreal how all of my favorite characters have exactly the same traits and hobbies and diagnoses as me

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I fucking despise when things fake being higher quality than they are. I don't mean like slapping a slightly misspelled brand name onto an identical non-designer product for purely aesthetic reasons I mean like rivets or thread that are actually glued down rather than punched or stitched. Fake pockets on jeans that are actually just an extra seam. Heavy looking chain that's plastic or very soft flimsy metal rather than anything sturdy. I bought boots which looked like they had a stitched sole 8 months ago and lo and behold the glue holding the sole on is revealing itself by falling apart. You PUT a STITCH IN THERE. YOU HAD THE NEEDLE AND THREAD. AND YOU DIDNT ACTUALLY STITCH DOWN THE FUCKING SOLES. Oh it makes me so mad. Cheap cunts taking the aesthetics of durability or practicality while handing you a product that won't last you the year

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The Suspicious Alley

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God, there really is nothing like 20s detective fiction to remind you that prejudice is a social construct.

You'll have a story with a crossdressing thief which is mildly transmisogynistic but completely devoid of modern vitriol; it literally comes off as "here is a fun oddity that lets me be Clever about French grammar"

And in the very next story you will learn fifteen different slurs for Italians

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the hater

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Level 1: Porn with plot

Level 2: Porn with social commentary

Level 3: Porn with troubling philosophical implications

Level 4: Porn with maddening revelations of humanity’s place in the cosmos

Level 5: Porn with math

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Why tf does my friend have Vines on VHS lmao

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just ordered the pizzamas sweater blanket because i am obsessed

LOOK AT IT ITS SO BEAUTIFUL

Happy Pizzamas to all who celebrate

@sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog

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The evolution of Stevonnie