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THE TEN BEST CARTOON THEMES OF THE 80's

The mind is a funny thing. In the middle of writing my thoughts on a certain subject, I made a mention to Scrooge McDuck, the greedy Scottish grinch of a mallard in Disney’s 1983 Mickey’s Christmas Carol and ultimately the animated series Duck Tales. And just like that, I’m scrolling through YouTube looking for my favorite cartoon opening themes in a decade where greed was good to our elders but knowing being half the battle was the kiddies’ gospel. After taking a trip down memory lane, I decided to honor my childhood, and many who grew up in the 80’s by constructing this list of the 10 best cartoon songs of the decade.

Let me preface this by saying, this isn’t to say these toons were the best of all-time, only their catchy songs. Oh, and no, there will be no inclusion of Transformers, G.I. Joe, He-Man, Thundercats or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on this list. Of course these titles would be on such a list. That’s why they’re omitted…too predictable.

[NOTE: CLICK ON THE LINK OF THE TITLES TO REMINISCE]

#10—DUCK TALES (1987)

Okay, this is predictable! But out of all the titles that were just mentioned, this chipper little ditty about a greedy billionaire’s Indiana Jones-like quest for more baubles along with his trio of nephews has to be the standout. Because of its predictability in the consciousness of 80’s babies everywhere, it’s ranked this low. It’s also the same reason it’s on here. What list about 80’s cartoons doesn’t have this show on there? “You ain’t got no Duck Tales, nucca?”

#9—HEATHCLIFF (1984)

It can be said that the majority of the 80’s cartoon songs can easily be buried in a soundtrack of your favorite John Hughes coming-of-age flick, without anybody stopping their Breakfast Club-like dancing and pressing the rewind button on their Sony Walkman. Why, because it’s so damn memorable, that’s why. This tune accompanying the adventures of Garfield’s doppelganger and the Catillac Cats is definitely one of those songs, if not the quintessential one of its kind.   

#8—C.O.P.S. (1988)

In all honesty, this opening song is more my speed than Inner Circle’s annoying “Bad Boys” for the real life COPS series. There’s an old school sensibility that meets the menacing new school baseline and frenetic feel to the introduction. You can give a nod to the collaboration of hard-nosed, do-good, by the book flatfoots “fighting crime…in a future time” to why this is so. Besides, even though the basis of the list is strictly classic opening songs, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that another reason this series is so beloved is because it was the first time I saw, and I’m sure many of my color and generation, an African-American in a leadership role rather than play the smart-mouthed third or fourth fiddle. Sorry, Panthro from Thundercats. Wait…Special Agent Baldwin P. “Bulletproof” Vess was voiced by a white guy? Son of a bitch!

#7—JEM! (1985)

Remember that episode of Saved By The Bell (then, Good Morning, Miss Bliss which was set in Indiana and pegged Hayley Mills as the main character, not Mark-Paul Gosselaar) where a pop star named Stevie, who is actually a student in the fictional JFK Junior High School, performs her hit “Hotline” to the clueless student body in a loud metallic get up and a big wig? Yeah, precursor for Hannah Montana, for sure. But if you don’t believe that Jem! and its lead-in song was the inspiration for that episode, I have a massive supply of AquaNet hairspray collecting two decades worth of dust to sell you. Truly, truly, truly outrageous.

#6—BIONIC SIX (1987)

See what I did here? Ha! Anyway, this is the Growing Pains of the 80’s cartoon landscape, with a sprinkle of United Nations of Benetton flavor (guess that would make Eric Bennett’s Sport-1 Kirk Cameron and Jack Bennett’s Bionic-1 Alan Thicke, then)—complete with its own “family is what keeps us strong” infectious opening opus.

#5—SILVERHAWKS (1986)

The bridge in the minute-long opening theme, alone—riddled with totally awesome Eddie Van Halen-esque electric guitar licks—gives this classically underrated cartoon placement on this list. The action figures were pretty friggin’ dope, too. Tally Ho, bitches!

#4—MUPPET BABIES (1984)

Images of The Fonz smacking a jukebox on and Sunday brunches after church at Johnny Rockets dance in my head. Of course, as a yout, I had no idea about Doo-Wop and the 50’s shooby-dooby-do sound, which was executed perfectly by Hank Saroyan and Rob Walsh who wrote and produced a majority of the songs throughout the show’s seven-year run. Yes, looking back, the lyrics were pretty simplistic (“Muppet Babies, we make our dreams come true Muppet Babies, we’ll do the same for you”). But to a legion of little tykes encouraged by singing pigs, frogs, bears and a Gonzo, to use the power of imagination, the message, as well as the series, was all too powerful.

#3—PEANUTS

Curveball…good grief! This cartoon was never produced in the 80’s—the comic strip turned animated in the 60’s—and was never a Saturday morning cartoon or after school programmed staple. But the amount of times Charlie Brown and the gang were shown throughout the decade, whether it be during the classic prime-time holiday specials or the occasional It’s A Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, it’s hard pressed not to have a favorite tune running through your head once toward the end of every year. And amongst the many musical productions, the bouncy “Linus and Lucy” by jazz pianist Vince Guaraldi, who scored 17 of Peanuts 30 television specials, is considered the franchise’s theme by default…just ask the people at MetLife. Though, a strong case can be made for “Christmas Time Is Here”. Matter of fact, having the entire A Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack in your iTunes is highly recommended for any music aficionado, especially one of jazz.

#2—INSPECTOR GADGET (1983)

First off, damn Disney for attempting to ruin my image of the bumbling bionic gumshoe by releasing a live action film starring Ferris Bueller in ‘99 (God bless you, Matthew Broderick and the way you break the fourth wall so seamlessly)! Never was there a perfect cartoon marriage of music and imagery in an opening theme. What was there that wasn’t indelible to an impressionable child? The slow and sinister opening riff with an upside down Gadget turned right side up only to see he’s holding his ID upside down? The baseline, which perfectly accompanied our hero’s bungling ways, not to mention Chief Quimby catching the brunt of said bungling? The breathy melodic whispers of the show’s title? The Gadgetmobile transforming as the song kicks into second gear? Or the montage of the real masterminds behind the trench-coated protagonist’s greatness, which were his niece Penny (Cree Summer, always amazing!) and the lively but muted dog Brain? To this day, whenever I hear the opening to Edvard Grieg’s “In the Hall of the Mountain King” it triggers a, “Hoo, Hoo” out of nowhere. Maybe that’s because the orchestral song inspired the cartoon song. There’s a fun fact you can spout at your next 80’s-themed game night, while playing Uno, Pictionary and Simon.

#1—ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS (1983)

“Watch out…cause here we come. It’s been a while, but we’re back with style, so get…set to have some fun. We’ll bring you action and satisfaction. We’re the Chipmunks…C-H-I-P-M-U-N-K. We’re the Chipmunks…guaranteed to brighten your day. When you…feel like a laugh. Give us a call, we’ll give you our all. And if…you feel like a song. Tune in to us and sing right along. We’re the Chipmunks…coming on stronger than ever before. We’re the Chipmunks…Alvin, Simon, Theodore! Do, do…do, do, do, do! Do, do…do, do, do, do!”

Yeah…that just happened.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

VOLTRON (1984)

DENNIS THE MENACE (1984)

PUNKY BREWSTER (1985)

GUMMI BEARS (1985)

SMURFS (1981)

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the suffering never ends

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Dark Truth Quotes About Anxiety

1. “Anxiety: The feeling where you stay up at night, stare at your ceiling, ask yourself an infinite number of questions, then sit there and debate on whether or not you actually want to know the answer. The feeling where you wonder who truly cares about you and who is just using you; who is there for you and who is so desperately waiting for you to fail. The feeling where you feel like you’re not good enough; that you need to be this, this, and this to be successful and liked. You crave for the attention you know you can’t have. The feeling where you get frustrated because it’s physically impossible to be 100% happy. You want someone to vent to, but no on will understand you. The feeling where you question your value, your worth, your pride, yourself, everything… and you think. Over think. All night. All you’re left with, is you, yourself, and a very dark place.” By: Neal Houston

2. “Anxiety makes you sit there and overthink every single thing. At times it makes you think people in your life are leaving you. You begin to feel abandoned, and not worth anything because the most important person/people in your life don’t want you. So you push away for fear of being hurt. You push them away so they can’t discard you or leave you. When in reality, nobody was ever leaving. Anxiety this bad makes you leave the one you love. It sucks.” By: Unknown

For the rest of the quotes: Anxiety: These Dark Truth Quotes About Anxiety Are The Best Thing Since Kool-aid

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Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.

Abraham Lincoln

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There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second, that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can’t think of what to do with the long winter evenings.

Quentin Crisp

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To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and to feel. That is the purpose of life.

James Thurber

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Dreaming.

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Meet Jhonni Blaze, the latest breakout star from Love & Hip-Hop: New York. You're welcome.

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So You Want To Get Published.

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You’re a good off-the-cuff writer. Now, get some sources and you’ll be a great writer.

Professor Andrew Tomasello

Baruch College, 2000

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The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.

Benjamin Franklin

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Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

Leonardo da Vinci

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I coin my own definition of success, which is peace of mind attained only through self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do the best of which you’re capable.

John Wooden