seasonal-allyearound-depression - Tumblr blog

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i am utterly disappointed in who i have become. i wanted to be someone better, someone important, someone beautiful. but instead i waste space, i waste time and i burden the people i love. this isnt the future i had in mind for myself and i know its too late. i’ll never get that future i dreamed of as a child.

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i am filled with hate towards myself and the world. its difficult finding a reason to live in a world that’s unfit for people like me. 

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1.  / 2. / 3.  p.s. i still love you, jenny han / 4. the social network / 5. / 6. / 7. emma  / 8. / 9

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I said it was okay. I never said it didn’t hurt.

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No one will ever read this,

but it’s good advice:

When my brother was in his third round of rehab, and I was old enough to realize what addiction had done to him mentally, he did a project for his treatment and it’s stuck with me all this time. They told him, “write your will, write your suicide note, get ready to be dead.” He did as they told him. My brother went from practicing tying nooses to fighting everyday. Fighting addiction and depression and himself. I think it’s so powerful to have to prepare for the life everyone else lives because it shows how you are not alone. My brother, who thought he was alone, wrote his note to me. I don’t remember how old I was, and I doubt it matters. But I remember why he chose me and why he still is alive. 

If you’re struggling with suicide. Try writing a will. Try writing that last letter. But make sure you know why you’re doing it:

It’s not about everything that’s gone wrong, it’s the little things that will never be again. It’s about never feel the hot asphalt under your feet in the summer or the smell of a rose blooming by your door. It’s about the last sunset you see as gaze out your window holding a knife to your wrist. It’s about the time you treated yourself to a good dinner because you were tired peanut butter and jellies. 

Don’t write a note to be hateful. Write to love. Find what there is left for you and live for that. 

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will anyone miss me?

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“No one commits suicide because they want to die. They do it because they want to stop the pain.”

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“I was 12 thinking about killing myself. I am 21, still thinking about killing myself.”

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Cord Cutting Ritual

To Start off, What is a Cord Cutting Ritual? ✂️

A Cord Cutting Ritual is a practice sometimes used when we want to cut the spiritual and emotional ties from someone in our life. This can be anyone; past partner, family member, friend, etc.

The Steps ✂️

You don’t need any fancy tools to do this. Just a pen, paper, string, scissors or fire, and your energy. Anything else is optional.

Cleanse and Clear your energy by using whatever method you like, (meditation, sageing, prayer, etc.) and focus your intention on love, not hate. That’s not the purpose of this ritual.

Whenever you feel aligned and connected, using your paper and pen, write your name on one small piece of paper, and the name of the other person on another piece of paper. You can write any other words of release at this time as well, but remeber to focus the intention on love. For example... “I release this person from my life, and they can no longer hurt me.” “I am free from all ties connected to this person.”

Once you’re done, you’re going to want to cut your string into increments of 9. 9 symbolising “the end.” For example 18 inches, 45 centimetres etc. Preferably using black string, but any color works.

Now, fold your papers, and tie each paper to one end of you string. At this time if you’re planning on using fire to cut the cord, light your candle, or get your match or lighter ready. (If using a tea light you can choose to add essential oils now, or carve a sigil on the top of your candle)

Finally, cut your rope in the center using whatever means you want. Focus your intention on love and release as you do this, and watch as the two sides separate.

You can then choose to burn each side of the papers separately, and release the ashes; or dispose of the papers by burying them in two separate places.

After this, be sure to close your energy using any method you like. Mediation, prayer (espressing gratitude to your guides), cleansing, etc. If using a tea light, let it fully burn out, (supporting your healing as it does) or snuff your candle.

Now, Trust! The Spiritual Tie is Released ✂️

Just a reminder that you can change this up however you see fit for you personally. This is just a rough outline. Trust your intuition above all throughout the ritual.

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“Realizing that no one cares is one of the most painful things.”

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