sebastianstansblog

[sebastianstansblog]

“ummmmm ur bra strap is showing :/ ”

[sebastianstansblog]

Free | Saja Boys x demon!reader

Summary: the Saja boys aren’t the only powerful demons walking around on earth. When you're with them, you no longer hear Gwi Ma's taunting voice in your head, and for the first time in years, you finally begin to feel free from the Demon King's clutches. Something far more ancient and far more powerful is taking hold, though, and maybe with it, you can all help each other find a little freedom...

(Part 2 coming soon!)

Warnings: steamy situations, mentions of alcohol, fem reader, MDNI

“Have you forgotten what you’ve done? The suffering you have caused? You want to run. You want to hide. But you will never be free of your guilt.”

Even on Earth, the voices whispered in your ears, wrapping around you like a sharp, sinister breeze. No matter how many years you spent away from Gwi Ma’s realm, no matter how dark the shadows you dwelled in, his words continued to torment you, night after night, day after day. The whispers often melded into a wall of white noise, a constant buzzing in the back of your mind, but occasionally, they came through more clearly, taunting and jabbing at you for no other reasons than to keep you miserable and remind you that Gwi Ma was always watching.

Once upon a time, you had been a pair of his eyes and ears on Earth. You had dutifully reported back on the status of the Honmoon and the huntresses who maintained it. You had told Gwi Ma about humanity and how it grew and changed, had helped him devise schemes and had watched them all fail.

You had grown tired as the years passed, and Gwi Ma had grown bored with you. His words continued to haunt you, throbbing in your head whenever you managed to finally forget about them, but the demon king's attention was elsewhere, and you were left alone on Earth. Masquerading as a human was easy; they were unobservant, easy to blend in with, and too preoccupied with scraping together enough money to see the next Huntrix show to notice you.

Huntrix. The name couldn't be any more on the nose, could it? You hadn't had any run ins with the current huntresses, but you didn't need to be face to face to see that they were the ones responsible for maintaining the Honmoon now. The idols were plastered all over Seoul, on billboards, on tv screens, on merchandise in shops...you couldn't escape the watchful eyes of Rumi and her compatriots, though you doubted they knew anything about you. They were too busy with the lesser demons Gwi Ma liked to launch at them like cannon fodder. All you did was keep your head down and gobble up a soul here or there to stay strong. Nothing flashy. Nothing noteworthy.

As you walked through the city, clutching a coffee from your favorite little human cafe, you couldn't help but enjoy feeling the sun on your face. Gwi Ma's realm was dark and cold, a desolate place with little in the way of warmth. On Earth, you could bask in the light, like you once had centuries ago as a human.

Suddenly, you were jostled, nearly dropping your coffee as someone bumped into you.

"Hey! What gives?" You snapped, looking around for the culprit. You didn't find one, though--instead, your attention was drawn towards the end of the street, where an unnatural pink-purple smoke cloud was swirling out of seemingly nowhere.

You stopped and stared as a familiar scent curled its way around you.

Gwi Ma.

But how?

Why?

Before you could answer your own questions, you saw shapes emerging from the smoke. Silhouettes, five of them, no doubt demons, no doubt sent by Gwi Ma...but out in public like this? In the daylight, where Huntrix was bound to see?

The smoke cleared, wafting away on the breeze, revealing their faces, and you saw...

...A boy band?

"What?" you breathed in confusion, eyes narrowed as you watched them...singing?

More humans were gathering, drawn in by the impromptu performance. You followed, joining the crowd, equal parts curious and cautious. As you grew closer, their faces came into view, and you had to pause.

They were hot.

No, they were gorgeous.

Five men,dancing in sync, singing a song about soda pop and charming everyone around them voices and gestures too good to be true. Just like the humans around you, you couldn’t look away, your gaze trapped as you caught glimpses of their patterns, their tusks, their beautiful golden cat eyes. The air itself felt like it was buzzing, almost crackling with energy, some unseen force brushing against your skin and bringing a tingle to your fingertips.

You couldn’t help but tap your foot. It was catchy.

And then, one of them looked at you.

Demonic eyes flashed, meeting yours, and you watched as the man almost paused. It was only a millisecond, but you saw him falter in surprise, purple patterns rippling across his skin before disappearing again as he regained his composure. You saw another one glance at you, his surprise cleverly masked by a smooth wink that had the humans next to you screaming in glee.

"Oh my gosh, did you see that? He looked right at us!"

No, they looked right at you.

"They're all so cute!"

You begrudgingly agreed.

But cute didn't even come close to covering it.

There were no words to describe how suave, how effortlessly attractive they were. The supernatural air around them was simultaneously off putting and alluring, their movements fluid like those belonging to a big cat. They were so welcoming, appearing so safe and so friendly and inviting, and their charm was even working on you, a fellow demon who knew their tricks better than anyone else in that crowd.

Your mind felt hazy and warm, and you were content to stand there and watch them for as long as they'd allow.

"That's it for now!" the black-haired leader said as the song ended. "See you tonight on everyone's favorite variety show! Saja Boys love you!"

The demons disappeared in a puff of smoke and the crowd around you erupted into cheers, the humans buzzing with questions as they dispersed.

"I love the Saja Boys!"

"That was some crazy fx!"

You stayed vigilant as you began walking away, catching a glimpse of three figures whom you suspected to be the Huntrix girls as they slipped away. Was Gwi Ma really using a boy band to go toe to toe with them and bring down the Honmoon? And...could it actually work? All the huge screens that usually showed ads and promotions for the latest Huntrix album or tour were suddenly covered in the Saja Boys, their obnoxiously handsome faces looming over the streets of Seoul. Humans stopped to take selfies in front of them, already enamored, and you realized that...well, yeah. It could actually work.

Their silly little Soda Pop song was so catchy that you found yourself humming it as you sipped your coffee, bopping your head a little as you walked. How long had Gwi Ma been cooking up this plan? And...how did the logistics work? The Saja Boys would have to keep up appearances and seem as human as possible, wouldn't they? Where were they staying? Did they charm humans into working for them, or did they have a crew of demons? And who was doing their choreography? Did they already have brand deals? Where was the money coming fr--

"Hey!"

You felt claws seizing your arm, roughly pulling you to the side. You stumbled, too caught off guard to maintain your balance, falling your way into a narrow alley. You immediately turned on whatever idiot had grabbed you, a vicious snarl on your face, eyes blazing, patterns burning on your skin.

You fully expected to see a human, some asshole after your money, but instead, it was them.

The Saja Boys.

At first, you were too irritated to be awestruck.

"Can I help you?" you snapped.

"I sure hope so," the tall one with the abs said with a wink.

You growled, bristling.

"Ooh, feisty," the one with the teal hair teased.

"Who are you?" the black-haired one asked, ignoring the others.

"I could ask you the same thing."

He paused for a moment, golden eyes scrutinizing you. "Jinu."

His name washed over you like a calming wave, and you felt the patterns on your skin fading again.

"Well...well that's...that's fine," you huffed, running a hand through your hair to smooth it.

The edges of his mouth twitched in amusement. "And you are?"

Your own name felt strange on your tongue. Had it really been so long since you had said it out loud? Or was there something about saying it for them that left a tingling on your lips?

"Beautiful," one of the boys purred, pushing past the others to take your hand. His skin was warm, but yours grew even warmer when he gently twisted your arm and pressed a kiss against your palm. "Call me Romance."

You were too taken aback to reflect on the cheesiness of his name, cheeks flushing as your skin prickled.

And then you remembered that you were dealing with fellow demons, and you pulled your hand away, shooting Romance a suspicious glare.

"What do you all want?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Jinu asked with a light laugh, slipping his hands into his pockets nonchalantly. "The fans power the Honmoon."

"So we're going to take the fans," the big one said, shoving Romance out of the way to stand before you. He placed a hand on the wall behind you, muscular arm caging you in as he looked down at you with a smirk. "I'm Abby."

"On account of the..."

He gestured towards his midriff, where the buttons of his shirt were struggling to contain his abs.

"...right, of course. The abs." you couldn't help but laugh, your gaze falling upon the final two unnamed Saja Boys. "And let me guess. You're the mysterious one, and you're the...what, the asshole?"

Abby barked a laugh, pushing off the wall to look back at his bandmates. "We call him Baby."

Baby folded his arms over his chest and shrugged. "You're right. I am the asshole."

"And that's...?"

"Mystery." the final Saja Boy said quietly, voice smooth despite its low volume. Though you couldn't see his eyes behind the curtain of blue hair, you could feel them watching you, tracking your every movement.

"Hmph." you looked back at Jinu. "Well, you've certainly got the archetypes down. And the humans already love you. But I don't see why Gwi Ma's new kpop boys would go around pulling nice girls like myself into dark alleyways."

"I bet you're not as nice as you pretend," Baby smirked.

"We saw you during our performance." Jinu said, his voice far more serious than the others'. "What are you doing here? In the human realm?"

"Trying to have a nice day out and enjoy my coffee." you answered.

He raised a brow.

"...I slipped through a weak spot in the Honmoon years ago."

"And the huntresses never...?"

"I try to avoid them."

"Sly like a fox," Romance said, leaning against the wall next to you. "I like that."

"There's somethin' about you, sweetheart," Abby drew in close, looming over you. His shirt was unbuttoned now, flowing in an unseen, supernatural breeze. "Knew it from the second we spotted you."

Keep your cool, you thought. Keep your cool, don't look at the abs.

He lowered his face towards yours, inhaling a ragged breath.

Don't look at the abs, don't look at the abs, don't look--

"Delicious," he breathed.

Your eyes flickered down and that was it.

Your death sentence.

"Oh," you said in an exhale, your face warm. "Really?"

"You know I'd never lie to you, baby," he said, a low growl peeking through his voice as he looked at you with those shining golden eyes.

"Come with us," Jinu interrupted.

You tore your eyes away from Abby to look at him. "...Where?"

"We have a penthouse."

Of course they did.

"You belong with us," Baby said matter of factly.

"....Excuse me?"

"Can't you feel it?" Romance asked, taking your hand and pulling you to face him. "This...pull."

You felt warm. You felt hot.

You felt something.

A sound at your side was your only warning before you felt something pressing against your neck, and you soon realized that Mystery had shoved his nose into your throat, inhaling your scent in a far more primal way than Abby had.

"Yes," he let out in a guttural groan.

Your knees felt weak.

This wasn't very powerful servant of Gwi Ma of you.

"You know you feel it too," Abby said.

"Meet us. Tonight." Jinu said, pulling the others away to direct your attention towards himself. "After the variety show."

He held up his hand, a small card suddenly appearing between his fingers in a puff of a smoke.

"Here."

You took the card and glanced at it. It was simple--white paper, black text spelling out an address that Jinu knew you wouldn't need. When you looked back up, they had all vanished, the pinkish-purple smoke the only sign that they had ever been there.

And you were left feeling cold, oddly lonely, and a little bit turned on.

-0-

"Did you smell her?" Abby sighed loudly as he appeared in the penthouse. "It was--she was--divine."

"Gonna be thinkin' about her all night," Baby said, flopping down onto the black leather couch.

"Control yourselves," Jinu said sternly, standing before them with his arms folded over his chest.

"It's hard!" Romance whined, sitting next to Baby. "That entire time, I felt like I was gonna lose this stupid disguise..."

"We need to focus."

He was met with a serious of groans and growls.

"Do any of you want to be the ones to face Gwi Ma if we fall behind?" Jinu asked, glaring at each of them.

"No..." Abby groaned.

"That's what I thought." he said.

"Why does she do this to us?" Mystery asked.

Jinu paused. "...I...don't know."

"But you felt it, too," Romance pointed out.

Jinu paused for a moment.

"Of course I did." he finally admitted. "That...warmth."

"More like fire," Abby said, nails lengthening into claws. "She was all I could think about. And it felt...good."

"You think she's really coming tonight?" Mystery asked.

"She is." Jinu said quickly.

"How are you so sure?" Baby asked skeptically.

Jinu turned towards the full-height penthouse windows, looking out over a Seoul that was far different than the one he had once known. "A feeling."

He heard one of the others huff in response but ignored it, standing with his hands clasped behind his back. He didn't know what kind of demon they had encountered out there, or why his heart had been aching ever since he had teleported away from the alley. All he knew was that he was just as desperate as everyone else to see you again, and he was beginning to hope beyond hope that they hadn't managed to scare you off.

"Come on," he muttered, turning away from the city. "We need to rehearse for the variety show tonight."

"And then we see her?" Mystery asked hopefully.

"And then we see her." Jinu agreed.

-0-

"--Welcome back to 'Who Can Chug The Most Hot Sauce?'!"

You glanced up at the TV.

"That's one flaming-hot Jinu! And Abby is down!"

You couldn't help laughing. Five demons, on a variety show? Twenty years ago, you would have said it was a ridiculous thought and scoffed in your own face at the suggestion...but there they were, drinking hot sauce, two of them already tapped out. Were they playing it up for the audience, or could they seriously not handle the heat?

"Mystery...is history! And it looks like Romance is out due to...heartburn?"

You watched as Romance collapsed after exhaling a heart-shaped puff of smoke. The guy was so dramatic. You hadn't been able to shake off the feeling of his lips pressed against your hand, though. It was almost as if he had burned you, though the heat had been perfectly tolerable. Glancing down at yourself, you were almost surprised that there wasn't a scar left behind.

"It's a dead heat between my handsome co-host and Baby Saja!" the host said. "Can our host catch up? He can't! Baby Saja is the winner!"

You looked back at the screen just in time to catch an unenthusiastic "Goo goo, ga ga" from Baby, and nearly choked on your own spit. Oh, you seriously wished you had demon friends to share this with. It was just too good.

"That's enough of that," you mumbled to yourself, turning the TV off and standing from the couch. The show had been good. Great, even. The Saja Boys had had their fair share of media training, it seemed. They were naturals in front of the camera, and the audience was eating up every second of it.

Tossing your ramyeon in the trash, you walked through your small apartment to the bathroom, where you paused in front of the mirror for the fourth time that evening. Why were you so indecisive? A snap of your fingers, and your entire look changed, again--another snap, and your hair was back down. What were you supposed to be going for, exactly? Casual? If you showed up fashionably late, it would tell the Saja Boys that you only went because you deigned to. There were a thousand better things you could be doing with your night, like...like...

You sighed.

"Who am I kidding?" you mumbled to your reflection. "This is the most interesting thing that's happened in years."

A snap of your fingers, and your human facade vanished, leaving behind gray skin and purple patterns.

You smirked. If it weren't for Huntrix prowling the streets of Seoul, you could just go for a more natural look...but you really didn't feel like getting your ass kicked all the way back to Gwi Ma.

"You will never be free of the demon king." the voice in your head hissed.

You winced, immediately putting your human disguise back on. If this was going to start up again, you were going to need a strong drink, or a distracting visit with the Saja Boys, or both.

...Were you supposed to bring a drink?

Would it be rude not to?

"No way." You scowled at yourself in the mirror, jabbing your reflection with an accusatory finger. "That's crazy. I don't owe them anything. In fact, they'd better be providing the drinks, if I'm going all the way over to..."

You looked down at Jinu's card where it sat on the countertop.

"...one of the nicest neighborhoods in Seoul. Right."

With a sigh, you faced your reflection again, shrugging. "Alright, then."

A snap.

And you were suddenly looking like you belonged in the nicest neighborhood in Seoul.

"Dressed to the nines," you winked at yourself before spinning on your heel and leaving the bathroom.

A wave of your hand and a bottle of soju appeared in the kitchen, pouring some of itself into a glass. You snatched it up off the counter, drinking it quickly before holding your hand out again. Smoke swirled around your fingers, forming itself into a small leather purse that was really more for show than anything else.

You cast a glance towards the clock. Were the Saja Boys finished with their show? The hot sauce challenge had been the final bit on the schedule according to the host, but there was a good chance they were keeping up appearances and leaving the studio in a car instead of simply teleporting home. If that was the case, maybe this would be a good chance to gain the upper hand and scope out their lair before they got there.

One more drink for good luck, and then you vanished in a cloud of pink smoke, aiming yourself towards the Saja Boys' penthouse.

-0-

"Ugh." Romance groaned.

"Those huntresses are funny," Abby chuckled, appearing behind him.

"And annoying." Baby rolled his eyes.

"Hey, you did good with that hot sauce, though," Abby elbowed his arm. "I seriously thought my head was gonna melt."

"Good job." Jinu said, he and Mystery blinking into view next to the others. "The fans loved it."

"And you know I love the fans," Baby drawled sarcastically, stepping into line behind the others as they approached the elevator.

"I hoped she would be down here waiting for us," Abby frowned, glancing over his shoulder at the empty lobby.

"She'll be here soon," Jinu promised. "We need to sit and rest. We'll know when she arrives."

"Sure," Abby agreed reluctantly, stepping into the elevator.

They all slumped against the walls as it rose, letting out tired sighs. A full day of idol work, followed by a run in with Huntrix, and a summons from Gwi Ma? That kind of schedule took quite a toll.

The doors finally slid open and they stumbled out into the penthouse foyer, kicking their shoes off. The room was dark, illuminated only by the glow of the city outside the windows, and none of them made any move to turn the lights on.

"I'm starving," Abby complained, slumping as he walked. "I could use some souls. Or some meat. Or--"

"Stop." Jinu's arm shot out in front of his chest, stopping him just as an invisible force sent lightning up his spine.

They all froze.

They all felt it.

Something was wrong.

Someone was there, in their home. Their territory.

Someone powerful enough to enter without assistance.

The Saja Boys growled, exhaustion suddenly vanishing as they straightened up and fanned out, advancing cautiously into their own penthouse.

They could see fine in the darkness. That wasn't the problem.

The problem was that they saw nothing out of the ordinary as they crept through the foyer. But they all felt something in the air, something that had the hair on the back of their necks standing, something that had them all on edge. Nobody should have been able to get into the penthouse. Jinu had made sure of it.

But someone had.

Mystery was snarling, the sound growing louder as they neared the living area.

Jinu cast a glance towards him, seeing that he seemed to be focused on a chair near the window.

There. Mystery growled.

The chair suddenly moved, spinning to face them, and they saw a shadow.

A shadow with a shape.

Yellow cat eyes shone in the darkness, glowing mischievously. "Rude to keep your guest waiting so long."

The relief that washed over them as you stood from your seat was indescribable.

"Holy shit," Abby ran a hand through his hair, grinning in disbelief as you came into view.

"Unbelievable," Baby mumbled, trying to hide his enthusiasm.

"There you are," Romance appeared before you, bowing his head as he smoothly took your hand and kissed it.

Somehow, he pressed his lips into the exact spot that had been smoldering all day, reigniting the pleasant flames you had felt in the alleyway.

As he straightened up, he took your other hand, spreading your arms and stepping back to take in the site of you.

"You look..." he was at a loss for words, lips parted as he shook his head slightly. All he could do was release your left hand, holding the right as he stepped to the side as if presenting you to the others.

"Good enough to eat," Abby's grin widened, showing his fangs.

"How did you get in here?" Jinu asked, snapping his fingers to turn on a dim light.

He stood back and watched as Abby, Baby, and Mystery approached you, prowling towards you like a pack of hungry hyenas.

“I let myself in,” you answered.

“Our girl’s clever,” Baby said, taking your chin in his hand and turning your head to the side slightly, inspecting you.

You snapped at his fingers and he recoiled as if a snake had bitten him, his eyes wide with surprise as he caught a glimpse of your tusks before they vanished again.

“Who said I’m your girl?” You asked, voice laced with a dangerous, demonic tone as you looked around at the five of them.

“Gimme til the end of the night, and you will be,” Abby winked, leaning against the couch in a way that had his shirt buttons popping open as he flexed.

“You feel it.” Romance said, tugging your hand as he desperately tried to pull your attention away from anyone but him. “We all feel it.”

“Feel what?” You asked.

“Don’t play coy, baby,” Abby smirked. “We know you can feel it too.”

“The burning,” Romance said dramatically, pulling you to face him. “The fire, the need.”

You swallowed hard, throat bobbing as you tried not to look away. Cracks were forming in the hard exterior you had managed to put up while you explored their home, that cool facade beginning to fade now that you were faced with the Saja Boys.

“They’re right.” Jinu spoke up, his voice sounding distant as Romance held you gaze. “Something is happening.”

“You still haven’t said what it is,” you murmured, taking in the smooth planes of Romance’s face. He was handsome. They all were. They were all handsome, and you hadn’t found anything to make you think otherwise while snooping through their penthouse.

“Because I don’t know.” Jinu admitted, voice growing clearer as he approached you. “But it’s…unmistakable.”

You tore yourself away from Romance’s eyes to find Jinu standing next to you.

“Stay here. With us.” He offered. “At least for the night.”

“You know, if you guys wanted a booty call, you could have led with that.” You said dryly.

Jinu chuckled. “A booty call with a demon powerful enough to let herself in to our den?”

“…you have good taste, I guess.” You shrugged.

“Stay. So that we can figure out what’s causing this.”

You hummed thoughtfully, slipping away from Romance to run your hand along the back of the chair you had first greeted them from. The air in the room felt tense, thick with anticipation as they watched and waited.

“You’re right that something is happening. And you’re right that I feel it, too.” You looked out the window.

Jinu narrowed his eyes. Bold enough to turn your back on five demons. Confident enough in your own abilities that you didn’t consider them to be a threat? Or was it a bluff?

“Alright.” You decided, looking back at them. “I’ll spend the night.”

It was as if the room itself let out a massive sigh, the tension finally dissipating as the Saja Boys let out breaths they hadn’t realized they were holding.

“Thank fuck,” Baby mumbled, collapsing into the couch.

“That worried I was gonna leave, huh?” You teased, approaching him.

“Didn’t wanna think about the possibility.” He admitted, dragging a hand down his face.

“You’re just too good, sweetheart,” Abby agreed, extending a hand toward you.

You accepted it and he pulled you down onto the couch with him, catching you with a muscular body that made you buzz all over. As his grip tightened around you, you felt a tingling rushing up your spine, and you decided that you liked it there, in his arms. You liked it a lot.

He leaned in, nose brushing against your throat. “You smell even more delicious than earlier.”

You pushed yourself up with your hands on his chest, looking down to see that his patterns had appeared, the purple marks flowing across his skin like ink in water. He smiled, cupping your cheek in a large, warm hand, his thumb brushing over your lower lip.

"Abby," Jinu warned in a low voice from somewhere behind you. "Watch yourself."

"It's fine," you said quickly as you felt Abby tense to pull away, not wanting the moment to end. There was a flash of fear and regret in his eyes, the realization that he had come on too strong finally hitting him.

"He can be...a lot."

"I can handle it." you smiled at Abby, watching as the worry melted away from his gaze. Then, you looked back at Jinu. "I can take care of myself, Jinu."

He blinked at you, suddenly unsure of how to respond. Did you...actually like this? All of the touching? The manhandling from Abby, the feather light kisses from Romance?

"I..."

"She's tough," Baby said, playing with a strand of your hair.

"You have to tell us if it gets to be too much." Jinu insisted, practically pleading.

"I will." you nodded, though you doubted it would come to that.

Jinu let out a loud breath, running his hand through his hair as he reassessed the situation. You were a demon. A demon powerful enough to break into their apartment. A demon who was driving all of them, himself included, absolutely crazy, for no apparent reason.

"Ignore him," Romance purred, leaning towards you over the back of the couch. "Jinu is a worry wort."

"He's no better than the rest of us," Baby jeered, sending a knowing smirk Jinu's way. "He just doesn't want to admit it."

Jinu rolled his eyes, looking away.

"So you're all obsessed with me, I get it." you said, straightening up to sit on top of Abby with your legs crossed at the knee casually.

"Are you tryin' to say the feeling's not mutual, sweetheart?" Abby asked, squeezing your thigh harshly, emboldened by your words earlier.

You squirmed in his grasp, surprised by the sudden feeling of his claws on your flesh. "I never said that. You're five of Gwi Ma's chosen soldiers and the biggest k-pop sensation since Huntrix. Anyone would want to know you."

"Oh, baby, those things don't matter," Romance said with a sigh. "We want you to get to know us."

"And how do you propose I do that?"

"I can think of a few ways," Baby smirked.

"I know what I'm hungry for," Abby grinned, bucking his hips up into you.

"That's it!" Jinu clapped his hands with a smile. "Food! We've been rude to our guest. We should prepare a meal."

The others scowled at him.

"You're just trying to keep her away from us," Baby grumbled.

"We have all night." Jinu argued, the sparkle in his eyes betraying his true intentions. "There's no better way to get to know someone than by sharing a meal."

You allowed him to pull you off of Abby, laughing as he led you into the kitchen and sat you at the counter. The others followed, groaning and yawning, and while Abby donned a kiss the cook apron and Baby argued with Jinu, you found yourself sitting with Mystery and watching with a smile on your face.

And for once, your mind was quiet, free from Gwi Ma's influence.

(Part two coming soon!)

[sebastianstansblog]

[sebastianstansblog]

Hey I don’t know if you’re taking requests so feel free to ignore this if you’re not but if you are could you do Jewish!reader when one of her kids calls her ‘bruh’ instead of mom for the first time? Please and thank you <3

you’re in your vintage chanel robe. your hair’s in rollers. your van cleef bracelet is clinking while you stir oat milk into your $14 cold brew.

your son walks into the kitchen and goes:

“bruh, we’re out of cereal.”

you freeze.

you turn around so slowly he actually flinches.

you lower your sunglasses—indoors, obviously—and say,

“what did you just call me?”

he tries to backtrack. “i didn’t mean—like, it’s just what everyone says now—”

you cut him off.

“do i look like one of your little friends? am i wearing a backpack? do i play fortnite?”

then to rafe, without looking:

“are you hearing this?? your son just called me bruh.”

rafe’s at the espresso machine and visibly trying not to laugh.

“babe—”

“no, because if he calls me bruh, i’m gonna start calling him jacoby, see how he likes it.”

jacob is now like 😭 “okay okay sorry—mom. mommy. beautiful mother of mine. please buy more cereal.”

you sigh dramatically.

“you’re lucky you’re cute.”

you grab your keys (they have a pink fur keychain and a Tiffany tag) and your Hermès bag and say,

“i’m going to get your cereal. but if i hear that word again, you’re eating matzah for the rest of your life.”

[sebastianstansblog]

SHARP AND SOFT

frat!rafe x reader

WARNINGS: 18+ content, drug-enhanced sex, degradation kink (e.g., calling reader dumb, objectifying praise) dubcon-adjacent themes (reader mentally "drifting" during sex, though physically willing) face slapping (light impact play) overstimulated!reader, possessiveness / ownership kink, semi-restraint, slapping / spanking, power imbalance / controlling behavior, marking / mild pain kink

Rafe’s got your face buried in the pillow, one hand pinning your wrists above your head while the other digs into your hip, yanking you back to meet his ruthless thrusts. The cocaine’s got him wired—eyes wild, breaths punching out in harsh pants as he watches your ass bounce with every smack of his hips against yours. Your whines are loud, even muffled by the fabric, spilling out in a messy string of whimpers and moans that he fucking lives for. Your greedy cunt clenches around him, sucking him in deep, and he groans, low and guttural, loving the way you take every inch like you were made for it.

But then he feels it—you’re starting to drift, getting all dumb and hazy in your head, your body still responding but your mind slipping somewhere he can’t reach. He slows just a fraction, smirking as he lets go of your wrists to grab your jaw, pulling your head up from the pillow. “Hey, nah—look at me,” he growls, voice rough but edged with something almost tender. Your eyes flutter, half-lidded and glassy, and he gives your cheek a soft slap—not hard, just enough to snap you back. The little jolt makes you gasp, lips parting, and he chuckles darkly. “There you go. Stay with me, princess.”

Another soft smack lands on your cheek, his fingers lingering there to brush over the flushed skin as he picks up the pace again, slamming into you with that same furious rhythm. “Can’t have you checkin’ out on me,” he mutters, watching the way your ass ripples and your back arches, sweat-slicked hair clinging to your spine. “Not when you look this fuckin’ good takin’ it.” He slaps your cheek again, lighter this time, and the way your eyes sharpen, locking onto his, sends a thrill down his spine.

Your skin’s a deep, rosy red now—from the harsh spanks he’d landed on your ass earlier, from the heat of him pounding into you—and he loves it, loves how you’re all marked up and squirming beneath him. He leans down, teeth grazing your ear as he rasps, “Gonna keep you right here, screamin’ for me. Next time, too—fuck, you’re mine.” His hips snap forward harder, chasing that edge for both of you, and all you can do is whimper his name as he keeps you grounded with those sharp, soft slaps whenever you start to slip.

[sebastianstansblog]

Catching Strays ! LN04

SUMMARY 𝄡 There's a stray child in the McLaren garage, and of course, Lando is the one who has to deal with it.

PAIRING 𝄡 Lando Norris x Single Mother! FemReader

TAGS 𝄡 Fluff.

WORDCOUNT 𝄡 1k.

NOTE 𝄡 The cutest thing I've ever written ( yet ). This drabble is about another pairing I had in mind... <33

likes, comments, reblogs are much appreciated!

Something tugged at Lando’s race suit.

Amid the paddock frenzy, that subtle touch⏤so gentle he first thought he’d imagined it⏤startled him enough to abandon his pre-race ritual.

He looked down.

And found himself nose-to-nose with a pair of big amber eyes.

Lando blinked.

The child blinked back.

“What the—?” he murmured before crouching to her level. “What are you doing here, muppet? Where are your parents?”

She let go of his leg, stuffed her fist into her mouth—long enough for drool to glisten down her chin and wrist—and dropped onto the ground with a soft oomph.

She smacked her lips a few times—undoubtedly mimicking someone—and then clapped her hands, giggling.

“Mama!”

Lando cast a desperate glance around him, but the engineers and mechanics paid him no mind, wholly absorbed in their final adjustments to the car.

“I don’t know where your mama is.”

He ran a hand through his curls as stress began to rise. The girl looked at him with wide, hopeful eyes, only fuelling the tsunami building in his chest.

Of course it had to happen to him.

“Well... what am I supposed to do with you now?”

For a fleeting moment, he considered calling Oscar, who was probably still holed up in his room, but the Aussie driver was just as hopeless in situations like this—if not worse. His mother’s face flashed through his mind, and he suppressed a shiver at the thought of her scolding him.

That’s when he noticed it.

Tucked between the girl’s overalls and t-shirt, a lanyard.

Carefully, Lando pulled it free and let out a sigh of relief when he saw the pass. He flipped it over, softened momentarily at the ID photo, and read the name printed in bold.

“Apolline L/N? Well, at least we know you're not a paddock intruder, muppet.”

She giggled as if she understood him, then tipped forward—still figuring out her balance, clearly. Lando caught her before she hit the ground, muttering a quiet thanks for his fast reflexes.

As he resumed reading, he absentmindedly rubbed her back. Shaken by her near tumble, she had settled her head against his chest, sucking on her thumb.

Apolline L/N VIP ACCESS A guest of: SCUDERIA FERRARI

“Well, I guess your mama’s probably over at Ferrari. What do you say, Apolline?” He leaned back to meet her gaze. “Shall we go for a walk?”

He stood, a child in his arms and tiny fingers clinging to his fireproofs.

Together, they set off.

Eyes lingered on the duo as they passed by. Whispers soon followed. What was Lando Norris doing with a small girl in his arms? Was that his sister? His daughter from a past fling?

He could already imagine the headlines, always eager to twist the narrative. Watching warily as a cameraman aimed his lens at them, he tucked Apolline's head into his neck and tightened his embrace before quickening his pace.

He passed Williams, then Mercedes—ignoring George’s raised eyebrow—and finally stopped in front of the red garage.

The usual Monaco frenzy took on a different flavour here. Lando could almost taste the tension soaked into every inch of the garage.

Ferrari wasn’t swept up in Monaco mania, no; they were drowning in Chaos.

A Charles in full race gear paced, his phone pressed to his ear, while a flustered Alexandra—so far removed from her usual elegance—tried to comfort a woman in tears.

Her sobs drowned out the frantic conversations of the team, whose faces all wore the same expression: that of pure dread.

In his arms, Apolline began to wriggle.

“Mama!”

At the sound, the woman spun around. She tore herself from Alexandra’s arms and ran to Lando.

The latter remained frozen as he took in the woman before him. His eyes darted between her sparkling gaze and her intoxicating mouth. They would have travelled further down—drawn to the delicious lines of her figure in that dress—had she not spoken, brows furrowed.

“May I have my daughter back?”

Her French accent nearly made him faint.

“What? Your daughter… Oh—uh—yeah! Of course!” he stammered. “She’s yours. Right. Obviously.”

Clumsily, he transferred Apolline into her mother’s arms. She hugged the girl tightly before setting her down and checking her over.

“Mon ange! You scared me to death! Don't ever do that again. If you want to go wandering, we’ll go together. Understood?”

The little girl just laughed, unfazed by the turmoil she’d caused, and dashed off into the garage. Lando watched her wrap herself around Alexandra’s legs, and then—

Vanilla.

Lando instinctively hugged the woman back. He buried his nose in her hair and breathed in the sweet scent as his hands tightened on her back.

“Thank you,” she whispered with the kind of gratitude only a mother could convey.

When she stepped back, Lando was already mourning the warmth of her body against his. Flushing, he rubbed the back of his neck to chase the thought away and shrugged.

Control yourself, she has a child.

“It’s nothing. Anyone would’ve done the same.”

“Still. It means a lot.”

She offered her hand.

“I’m Y/N.”

“Lando.”

Alexandra called her over. Y/N gave him a small, apologetic smile—one that did something strange to his chest—and turned to walk away, tossing a final “thank you” over her shoulder.

Lando stayed there, a little dazed.

A throat cleared, breaking the spell.

Fred Vasseur stood in front of him with his arms crossed and one eyebrow raised. Only then did Lando realize half the garage was staring at him.

Knowing he had overstayed his welcome, he turned on his heel and headed back toward the McLaren garage—but not without grabbing Charles by the collar. The Monegasque struggled against his hold before freezing as Lando leaned in and whispered:

“Give me Y/N’s number, or I’m crashing into you at turn one, constructors’ championship be damned.”

[sebastianstansblog]

god bless america, and all the beautiful women in it 🤍🇺🇸

bunnywife wakes up at 6am to make her “red, white & blueberry flag cake” in a little gingham apron. rafe comes downstairs in athletic shorts and a shirt that says “proud american”, jamie already decked out in an old navy flag tee and rosies dragging the twins around in a red little wagon.

“rafe, baby, don’t forget to ice down the root beers and fix the flag, jamie said it was backwards last year and you embarrassed him in front of the hoa.” she says

rafe’s already lighting fireworks illegally early in the backyard and saying stuff like “what this country needs is more women like you, and more fathers like me.”

by midday, everyones outside under fairy lights she’s wearing a 50s-style halter sundress and her bump (baby daisy!) is just peeking out under the waistline.

rafe is grilling shirtless, jamie keeps trying to blow things up. rhett eats dirt with a mini flag in his other hand and colten steals someone’s lemonade and hides under the snack table.

the menu is insane. rafe’s grilling station consists of grass-fed beef burgers, fancy hotdogs something like bison bratwursts or uncured heritage pork, corn grilled in the husk with raw butter and maldon salt. bunny is placing the cherry coke bottles with gingham bows around the neck and lemonade on the perfectly set table. red gingham tablecloths, vintage enamel plates, tiny blue mason jars with baby’s breath, every napkin is rolled into a scroll with ribbon, a floral centerpiece with flags stuck in it.

at night, the family lays on a blanket watching fireworks explode , rosie is snuggled in her mommys lap, the twins have matching pacis and and jamie keeps clapping every time one goes off like he personally caused it.

rafe turns to her and kisses her under the red-white-and-blue sky. “god bless america, baby.”

[sebastianstansblog]

The Old Wolves

Pairing: Oscar Piastri x Felicity Leong-Piastri (Original Character)

Part of the The mysterious Mrs. Piastri Series.

Summary:  Some other people have Thoughts™

Warnings and Notes:As requested by @leodette

Big thanks to @llirawolf , who listens to me ramble 😂

Group Chat: The Old Wolves 🐺🐺🐺

(Members: Mark Webber, Nico Rosberg, Sebastian Vettel, Kimi Räikkönen, Fernando Alonso, Jenson Button, David Coulthard)

Nico Rosberg: ⚠️ hello? ⚠️ excuse me??? ⚠️ MARK ALAN WEBBER YOU ARE SUMMONED

Sebastian Vettel: Just to confirm, I didn’t hallucinate that, right? Oscar Piastri has a wife. A whole wife.

David Coulthard: Excuse me?? Wife as in legally married? Not “my partner” or “my girlfriend” but wife???

Fernando Alonso:married. married-married. like vows and paperwork and tax returns

Jenson Button: I thought it was a joke. I laughed. I pointed.

THEN OSCAR WAS LIKE “She’s amazing. 10/10. Would always marry her again.”

David Coulthard: Was this a soft launch? Or a slap across the face with a marriage license?

Fernando Alonso: Lando spewed water. 

David Coulthard:I thought the fanstage was a prank at first. He said “my wife” so casually I thought he meant someone else’s wife

Mark Webber: ...It wasn’t that big a deal.

Nico Rosberg: HE SAID “MY WIFE.” MARK. MY WIFE.

David Coulthard: Mark. Buddy. Friend. When were you planning to mention that your golden boy is MARRIED?

Sebastian Vettel: Mark. Mark. Be honest. Did you officiate the wedding?

Mark Webber: 🙄 No. I didn’t officiate anything. And yes, he’s married. Has been for a while.

Nico Rosberg: FOR A WHILE????

Fernando Alonso: define “a while”

Mark Webber: Look, they didn’t want it public. It’s not like he gave me permission to plaster it across the paddock, alright?? It’s private.They wanted it that way. And I respect that.

Jenson Button: You knew he was married for HOW LONG???

Mark Webber: Since 2019.  They got married straight after graduation. Quietly. No press. No announcements.

Kimi Räikkönen: good wedding announcements are annoying

Nico Rosberg: FIVE. YEARS???

Sebastian Vettel: That’s not the point, Kimi. The point is that Mark has been sitting on a whole secret Piastri wife like it’s casual trivia

David Coulthard: No wonder the kid’s so composed. He was married at an age when the rest of us were still figuring out how to microwave spaghetti.

Fernando Alonso: He met her when they were teenagers, didn’t he?

Mark Webber: Yeah. High school sweethearts. She's brilliant. Calmer than Oscar, if you can believe it.

David Coulthard:

You let us all go on thinking he was some shy little rookie with no game

Turns out he’s been married since 2019?? He wasn’t even in bloody F3!

Nico Rosberg: I want to say I’m shocked. But honestly? That makes so much sense it’s offensive.

Jenson Button: Wait. So all those years you said “Oscar’s doing well, he has a good support system,” You meant “he has a wife”?

Mark Webber: Yes.

Sebastian Vettel: So you’ve just been—what? Watching the world speculate if Oscar’s single while knowing full well he’s married?

Mark Webber: Yup.

Sebastian Vettel:You’ve had us discussing Oscar’s “lonely young genius energy” for YEARS. I defended him in press. I said he was focused. Laser-focused.Not married-in-a-cottage-with-wildflowers focused.

Nico Rosberg: I hate how smug you are right now.

Jenson Button: What’s her name?

Mark Webber: Felicity.

David Coulthard: Felicity Piastri. That sounds like someone who could ruin my finances and my life and I’d thank her.

Sebastian Vettel: We need a picture.

Mark Webber: No you don’t.

Fernando Alonso: does she like paella?

Mark Webber: I’m muting this chat.

Kimi Räikkönen: send photo or at least tell us if she drinks

Mark Webber: She restores vintage cars and taught Oscar how to budget.

Jenson Button: ...okay but now I really want a picture.

Mark Webber: You’re all insufferable.

Nico Rosberg: You kept a wife from us, Webber. A WIFE.

David Coulthard: Imagine what else he’s hiding.

Jenson Button: Don’t be dramatic. It’s not like Oscar has a kid too.

***

Text Messages: Mark Webber & Fernando Alonso

Fernando Alonso: Mark.

Mark Webber: Oh no.

Fernando: A child?? A whole child, Mark?? You let me spiral over the wife situation and now there's a daughter???

Mark: Hi, Fernando. Hope your day is going well.

Fernando: Don’t you dare Webber-PR me. There is a toddler in this world who is part Oscar Piastri and YOU KNEW.

Mark: Yes, I knew. Yes, she’s wonderful. No, I didn’t tell you, because—as I’ve explained multiple times—they wanted privacy.

Fernando: You mean to tell me You watched me spend two years saying “Oscar is very mature for his age” WHILE HE HAD A BABY AT HOME AND JUST LET ME KEEP TALKING LIKE AN IDIOT

Mark: Correct.

Fernando: YOU KEPT THE F1 BABY OF THE YEAR FROM ME, MARK.

Mark: I wasn’t going to send out a group memo like “Hey everyone, Oscar has a kid and she builds Lego wind tunnels.”

Mark: Her name’s Beatrice. Bee for short. She’s three. Adorable. Terrifyingly smart. Obsessed with suspension geometry.

Fernando: You’re joking.

Mark: She corrected me about toe angle last Christmas.

Fernando: Mark. How old was he when she was born?

Mark: Nineteen.

Fernando: Oh my God.

Mark: Married Felicity the year before. Quiet ceremony. No PR. She was doing her master’s. He was racing F3. And they still made it work.

Fernando: You’re telling me that while the rest of the grid was busy doing shirtless sponsor shoots and pretending to be single on social media, Oscar Piastri was changing nappies and reading bedtime stories??

Mark: Yes. And building a sim rig while Bee napped in a carrier on his chest.

Fernando: This is insane. He’s been a father the entire time. He’s been a dad through his entire F1 career and no one knew?

Mark: Oscar’s very good at compartmentalising. And Felicity is… Well. She’d sue God if she thought He was interfering with Bee’s bedtime.

Fernando: I want to be annoyed at you for hiding this. But also. I respect it. Deeply.

Mark:Look, they weren’t hiding her to be shady. It was about privacy. Safety. She had health problems when she was born. They wanted to keep it quiet..

Fernando: She’s going to run the FIA by 2030, isn’t she?

Mark: Or the planet. Honestly, we’re just lucky she uses her powers for good.

Fernando: unbelievable. I liked being the grid’s biggest mystery and now we have Oscar “secret wife, secret daughter, still emotionally unbothered” Piastri

Mark: He’s an overachiever.

***

Group Chat: The Old Wolves 🐺🐺🐺

(Members: Mark Webber, Nico Rosberg, Sebastian Vettel, Kimi Räikkönen, Fernando Alonso, Jenson Button, David Coulthard)

Nico Rosberg: MARK. MARK WEBBER.

Sebastian Vettel: You have got to be kidding me. A CHILD??? A WHOLE CHILD??? She’s THREE. THREE YEARS OLD. Mark. Mark.

Jenson Button: A child???? He has a child????

Sebastian Vettel: OSCAR PIASTRI HAS BEEN A FATHER THIS WHOLE TIME??? MARK?

Nico Rosberg: You KNEW and didn’t SAY ANYTHING???

Kimi Räikkönen:This is what happens when you let Australians do PR.

Mark Webber: Good morning to all of you as well 🙃 Yes, I knew. Yes, she’s three. And no, I didn’t say anything, because it wasn’t mine to tell.

David Coulthard:SOME of us would have sent a gift if we’d known  baby Piastri existed. Instead, I found out from INSTAGRAM DURING BREAKFAST and nearly choked on my tea.

Nico Rosberg: MARK. MARK. WHY DID YOU NOT TELL US THERE WAS A TINY HUMAN WITH OSCAR’S GENES???

Sebastian Vettel: You knew. You let us all scream about “how composed Oscar is” like idiots while he was clearly surviving on three hours of sleep and toddler snacks.

Jenson Button: He has a KID, Mark. A child. 

Mark Webber: They wanted privacy. I respected that. It wasn’t my story to tell.

Fernando Alonso: He’s been a dad for three years. It’s not new.

Nico Rosberg: YOU KNEW TOO??

Sebastian Vettel: This is a conspiracy.

Mark Webber: They kept it private. It’s not my story to tell. Oscar and Felicity wanted Bee to grow up without the circus.

Jenson Button: …Bee? Wait. Her name is Bee?

Mark Webber: Beatrice. But she goes by Bee.

David Coulthard: That’s adorable. I can’t even be mad.

Sebastian Vettel: I can. I was unprepared. Emotionally. Also spiritually.

Mark Webber: Her favourite plush frog is named Jenson Button.

Jenson Button: Excuse me???

David Coulthard: Wait—what?

Mark Webber: It was a gift from me. She was born in the middle of the 2020 season. I was sleep-deprived. It was soft and had big eyes. I panicked and called the frog Jenson Button. She takes him everywhere. He’s her emotional support frog.

Jenson Button: You PANICKED and named a frog after me???

David Coulthard: Oh this is rich.

Sebastian Vettel: This is the legacy you deserve, Button. Ribbit.

Nico Rosberg: I cannot believe this.

Jenson Button: I have never been more flattered and insulted at the same time.

Nico Rosberg: So let me get this straight. Oscar Piastri, a man we all described as “quiet,” “level-headed,” and “mysterious,” has a wife, a child, a hidden life, and you’ve known the whole time.

Mark Webber: Yes.

Sebastian Vettel: Mark. Be honest. Is there another secret child we should know about?

Mark Webber: Not unless Lando has one. Which, to be clear, I do not want to investigate.

Nico Rosberg: Unbelievable. A secret wife and child. You’re lucky that baby is cute, Webber.

Mark Webber: She is. And she can say “sector times” better than most race engineers.

Sebastian Vettel: So to recap: – Oscar has a wife – Oscar has a daughter – Fernando and Mark are secret-keeping menaces – I now need to emotionally recover – Jenson is a frog

David Coulthard: Normal day in Formula 1.

[sebastianstansblog]

dealer!rafe x aphrodite!reader

WARNINGS— fluff, rafe paints readers nails

A/N— i don’t know..... i’m just. talking. i don’t even know what i just wrote.

“rafe, that’s the wrong colour!” you gasp, quickly snatching the chanel nail polish bottle labeled 495 mica rose from his hand.

he looks up at you, furrowing his eyebrows. “you just said you wanted light pink—”

“yeah, this one.” you scoff, picking up 221 pink satin.

his gaze flies back and forth between the two bottles. the fuck was the difference?

“baby, what’s the difference?”

you tut lightly, twisting the black cap open. “what do you mean? this one’s obviously lighter and the other is more red.”

he raises an eyebrow as you attempt to point out the difference. “looks the same to me.”

“noooo.....” you argue back, words sounding more like a whine as you give him a stern look.

“they’re both pink, dollface.” he stares at you like you have three heads— which probably would’ve been the most popular assumption if someone else saw the way he looked at you, not having even the slightest clue that it was actually because he mistaked one pink nail polish for another ungodly similar that apparently was not at all.

“they’re just—” you pout, scoffing. “not the same, okay?"

“jesus woman.”

you’re sitting on rafes lap, right hand delicately resting on the marble texture of your desk as he very carefully drags the pink polish across your nails while you let your left manicure dry infront of the fan infront of you.

“you’re good at this.” you tell your boyfriend, giving him that sweet smile that made his stomach flutter— he’d never admit to that.

he grumbles under his breath, something about having done it before for wheezie. you smile.

you’re oblivious, not paying attention when his free hand instinctively reaches out to hold your left. you gasp, slapping his hand away.

“rafe!” you scold him, quickly blowing on your half-wet nails.

“m’ tryna hold your hand.” he mumbles back in protest, an almost pout on his face— no— he was rafe cameron.

“you’ll ruin your own masterpiece.” you huffed, checking to see if he actually did.

nope, still pink and perfect.

he gives you a look, silently returning his attention back to your unfinished manicure.

you sit in comfortable silence for a moment. simply enjoying eachothers presence as rafe stays focused on your nails.

you grin sweetly, kicking your legs under the table as you press a kiss to his cheek, your lipstick leaving a mark behind. “i love you.”

he hums lowly, his voice husky when he responds “love you too.”

[sebastianstansblog]

Creeper neighbor Ted has me in a choke hold im here to add on.

Ted who hasnt even gotten your name yet but knows your home routine bcus of when you start playing your music and getting ready to do stuff.

Knows the days you go grocery shopping- and eventually matches it until you say "Hey! we always end up at the store together we can just shop together!" as if he DIDNT actively plan this to happen.

Offers to take your trash out on trash day, always offers to walk you to your car at night if you have plans, offers to come help try to fix things (even if he knows he cant..).

eventually ends up being invited over for drinking and games at your place and after everyone leaves and its just you and Ted- you make a move and end up havibg the sloppiest most intense sex youve ever had all because hes wanted you since he first noticed you 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

creep - ted.

meant to be sleeping to drive for 8 hours tomorrow but fuck it, i feel bad for not answering requests.

ted never really paid his neighbours that much mind. sure, he’d talk to them every now and then, but he usually didn’t make the first move when they moved in. he didn’t make little cookies and give them to the new neighbour. he’d let them introduce themselves.

so when you moved next door and never introduced yourself, he let it drift to the back of his mind. you were simply a very introverted person, and you were moving to la for the first time. of course you’d be nervous to talk to anyone.

it wasn’t until months and months later that ted finally remembered you lived next door. he was leaving his home to go to the shops and he saw you leaving your home. it was just a coincidence that the two of you ended up talking to each other at the same grocery store.

but since then, he’s been obsessed. the way your mouth moved, the whiteness of your smile, the colour of your eyes and how they crinkle when you smile or laugh, your short and delicate stature. he couldn’t stop thinking about every part of you. you seemed to pick and pull and poke at every inch of his brain.

so when you forgot to close your curtains for your midday nap one saturday, he snapped. he didn’t want to come off as creepy, but he couldn’t hold it back anymore. you looked so peaceful and adorable while you slept. unaware of his watching eyes.

each morning, he’ll hear the muffled music playing from your kitchen. the dull guitar and steady rhythm of the drums echoing in the space between the two homes. he’ll hear the occasional clanging of pots and pans, or a thud from dropping something.

it confused him how you could be so quiet and introverted and gentle, but enjoy eric clapton or the black keys or any other artists and songs of the same genre. that music, in his mind, was for people who enjoy singing along in their bedroom and screaming till their throat is burning at a concert.

not someone who’ll feed a family of stray cats the last of their lunch and sniffle at the sad sight. not someone who’ll feed wears hoodies with big hoods to hide in. not someone who lays in the grass of their backyard and watches the clouds and stars.

he knew your routine. the music you played for each task, how quiet the music was in different rooms, if he could see you in the window or hear you talking on the phone. he’d eventually learn your name. just not now.

he memorised the days you left and came back with your groceries. he counted the days between and the days you always went back. you go back every friday, and it’s 4 days between each trip. so he changed his eating habits. he would eat less one day, and eat more the next. just so that he could run out of food the day you left to get groceries.

he leaves his house tuesday morning, at 10 am. when you leave. to ‘beat the school rush and people getting to work’, he assumes. he spots you leaving as soon as he does. bingo. he got it right.

“hey! how’s your day been so far?” he didn’t want to be weird off the bat. slowly lead the conversation into it. start off by asking about your day. you’ll say you’re heading to the shops. he’ll say he is too. ask if you want to go shopping with him. done, plan completed.

“it’s been alright. woke up a bit late. i’m just heading to the shops now, so i can’t talk too much.” you smile apologetically, not wanting to walk away from the conversation but needing to get your errands done.

“i’m heading to the shops as well. ran out of food last night.” his voice is the same as always, and his expression stays indifferent. you were so clearly introverted and hated anything that required you to be outgoing, so he nitpicked at his personality to suit yours and make you comfortable.

he watches you nod, staying silent. you definitely struggled socially. but who were you to blame? you’re the friend who simply won’t text back if you don’t know what to say. and it reflected into your daily life as well. it just made ted’s job easier.

“we could go to the shops together? it’d help both of us out, and i can help you with your bags.” he shrugs and unlocks his car, opening the driver’s door and holding it ajar. you’d say yes. he knows you will. he’s seen you struggle with your bags multiple times before.

“yes please. that’d be a massive help.”

over the next few months, he took notice of the fact that you always seem to accidentally sleep in. and it usually results in you forgetting to put your bin out on bin day. so on thursday morning, when he didn’t hear your music playing while you got ready for the day, he knew you’d sleep in and forget to put your bin out.

he trudges down his stairs in his hoodie and sweatpants, pushing his front door open, and dumping the current bag of rubbish into the almost-full bin. he wheels it onto the top of the gutter, making sure it’s in the right spot. he then puts your bin out for you, making sure you won’t have a bad day.

so he wasn’t surprised when you knocked on his door and thanked him for putting your bin out. you must’ve watched your cameras. not that he minded. he liked knowing you were aware of his actions. so every thursday after that, you either both put your bin out at the same time, or he puts both of them out.

he wasn’t being creepy, he was simply helping you out!

it got to a point where his stalking and creepiness seeped into his daily life. your lips moving while you talked about a pretty bird you saw tuned into fantasies about you sucking him off and gagging on his dick.

you tending to your little garden, your shorts covering everything, but his mind couldn’t help but to imagine if they barely covered anything. if you’d be wearing pretty blue panties or calvin klein underneath.

you cleaning your room with the curtains open for sunlight led him down a rabbit hole of what it would be like if he bent you over the edge of your bed, pushed your panties to the side, and plowed you. would you be shocked but enjoy it with shy moans and whimpers, or would you be expecting it and act like a total brat when he gripped your hair.

your friend had messaged you a couple days ago, telling you that she was gonna bring some drinks and games around for her and you to play. what you didn’t know was that she’d also invited a myriad of different people. the last thing you wanted.

it meant you’d have to clean up for days, you’d have to drain your social battery, you’d have to host, etc. there was a reason you hated parties. especially ones that you weren’t filled in on.

so it only felt right to invite ted over to keep you grounded and be a chest to cry into when it ended.

once the party finally ended and everyone had gone home, you pushed the mess off your sofa and laid down on it. your face pressed into the armrest and your arms curled to your chest. you were drained. physically, emotionally, mentally.

and you felt terrible that ted was still here and saw you like this, but you couldn’t be too mad. he never judged you. he let you exist and be you.

he sits by your feet, his hand mindlessly rubbing the side of your calf to soothe you. he learned from his various staring sessions that you don’t like parties. especially the aftermath. so he’d figured out every way to comfort you.

you eventually relax and shift, your legs stretching out and your face softening. you’re over the initial dread, and ted was still next to you.

“you alright now, sweet?” his voice is gentle, smooth, caring. his petname calms you, and he snakes his hand up to your knee. he was finally alone with you, and he knew you needed comforting and a potential shoulder to cry on, but this was his chance.

but as soon as he heard the first sniffle and saw the tear fall from your eye, any hope or want disappeared and he immediately held you in his arms. he raked his fingers through your hair and scratched your scalp, slowly calming you down. the lustful thoughts and motive of his had vanished, and his only goal was to make you feel better.

the two of you stay that way for a little bit. once you’re relaxed again, he sticks around and helps clean up a bit before heading home. little did you know, he immediately sat in his room, and - once you fell asleep - fucked his fist to the memory of your tears and the times he couldn’t help but think of how hot you’d be during sex.

but that’s his little secret, and you don’t have to know unless you want to. unless you seek him out or accept his advances.

taglist; @anotherfcknschlattsimp (ask to be added!)

author’s note; i know ted doesn’t live in a house, he has an apartment. but its fit better if it was a house. its 20 past midnight and i need to go to bed.

[sebastianstansblog]

thinking about ted’s new vid and imagining jumping in that cold ass shower w him … face pressed on the tile, back arched, looking back at the footage while editing and only hearing the sounds … :)

YEAH each time there was a shower scene ,, i had to hold it together.

CW: piv, shower sex

ted pressing your face against the tile, watching as you moan with each of his thrusts. you whine as his other hand moves from your hip to your chest, pinching an already hardened nipple. you gasp, arching you back some more. he chuckles as he picks up the speed.

looking back at the footage tho, holy fuck. you can’t see much, because of the angle he’s positioned the camera. but man, listening to him ruin you in the shower. your sweet moans and cries, the little sweet whispers after you’ve both come down.

next time, ted is going to reposition the camera before you hop in with him to join another cold shower, but this one isn’t going anywhere ;)

hehehe thank u for the inbox!! <3

[sebastianstansblog]

So like- Yk how Ted accidentally shaved part of his mustache in his new video- imagine Ted forcing you to do the routine with him or just being up at that time he accidentally shaved and and then him tell on you like those toddler memes (the ones where it’s like “mom i frew up” ykwim??) and then you’re like jokingly disappointed- sorry a lot of rambling

EEEE GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET

warnings: none!! all fluff!!

────୨ৎ────

you couldn’t go back to sleep after Ted’s 3 am alarm woke you up, you couldn’t be too mad though, because he gave you a few tight hugs and extra loving kisses before he turned the camera on.

you weren’t too keen on the first time Ted’s audience seeing you being at 3 o’clock in the morning, freshly after you had woken up so you drug yourself out of his warm bed and to the living room to relax on the couch while he filmed.

a while of mindless social media scrolling later and you hear Ted abruptly stop filming. He padded into the living room slowly.

“Uh..Honey.” he stood there, resembling that one standing man emoji way too closely, with his facial hair trimmer still in his hand.

you lifted your head to look at him and immediately slapped your hand across your mouth, partially in shock but mostly to keep yourself from laughing.

“Theo.” you sigh behind your hand. the laughter still threatening to bubble up. his lip quivered trying to fight off his own laughter.

“Theodore!” you exclaimed in an amused, faux angry tone. that broke him, he burst out laughing causing you to follow suit, you both doubled over from laughing so hard.

“I loved the ‘stache” you pout jokingly. “I know, baby” he kissed your head. “It grow back”

“Now you just look like someone forgot how to draw a mustache halfway through” you joke, you two burst into another laughing fit.

────୨ৎ────

teddy fluff is my favorite fluff lately 🙂‍↕️☝🏽💗

[sebastianstansblog]

watching every single barbie movie 🎀 🩷

content creator ted nivison x actress reader

a youtuber dms you asking for help with a video, do you agree and meet this overly passionate film major, or opt out and possibly never meet the man of your dreams

ted had this video planned for months.

his goal was to watch every single barbie movie before the movie came out

and it was going well

the cast had already been announced and trailers had been released

and he had always loved your work

he thought you had a great filmography, and i mean, he also thought you were really hot

so he was really excited to see what you would bring to the screen

a week into his project he noticed he was getting a lot of attention on twitter (i'm not calling that shit X.)

he ignored it as usual, until his friend tucker told him he needed to go take a look, and tucker did not mess around about that stuff.

if he told you to check something, you better look.

he opened the clip of you and jack manifold, seemingly on his you laugh you lose series

the video started and you still maintained all three lives, while jack only had one left, you two were joking around and laughing

"objects ive shoved up my ass" was the next video and you and jack recited it together, almost making you laugh, ted was starting to regret listening to tucker, i mean this had nothing to do with him

until jack told chat to send in edits of his friends, and asked you to rate them, you agreed as that shit was funny, the first few rolled in, a couple "he's cute!" one "she's hot." but nothing that people cared about.

then came an edit of a man who you didnt know the name, but lord he was good looking, you barely even noticed how quiet, and red, you got

starstruck, you finally found words "jack who is that." jack was desperately trying to not laugh, as the stream was not near how long he wanted

"ted, my friend ted nivison" jack let out as he tried to calm his breathing.

you leaned close into your mic "chat, is this man accounted for." you stared intently at chat waiting for an answer, when you saw many no's you smiled

"this is a message to ted television- wait what was his name? nivison, doesnt even matter. if you see this, i want you. dm me, you beautiful, beautiful man." the stream quickly ended as jack couldnt keep it together.

ted was sat in bed, staring at his phone, for maybe twenty minutes, he rewatched the clip countless times

he was speechless

why was his celeb crush calling him beautiful?!?

he was too scared to dm you, like what if you didnt see it

or what if you just said it cause you were live?

so decided to grow a pair and ask jack for your number, it felt more formal that way.

the day after your stream with jack you recieved a text from an unknown number

and god you really hoped it was the man from the edit

so thats what you did, and he answered your facetime within two rings. hot.

his face and dopey grin filled the screen, as well as your heart "hi ted." you smiled at him

"hi." the call was silent for a while, as you two kinda just took the other in

"i have a question." ted finally broke the scilence when you nodded and gave him the go away he began his tangent.

"well as we know you are in the upcoming barbie movie, and ive began a project to watch every single barbie movie before i go and see the movie, i was wondering if you would like to maybe, be in the video, you of course dont have to, i understand if thats weird but i rea-"

"ill be in your video ted, just tell me where you want me and ill be there." ted smiled anxiously, you could tell how much this ment to him.

you two continued talking for the coming weeks

and became very close, like it was so obvious you wanted eachother

flirting, joking, and borderline sexting became normal for the two of you

and even with very tough scheduling

and alot of sacrifices

you were going to miss one interview to drive to teds house and spend a whole day watching barbie movies with him

finding out ted only lived like 45 minutes from you was the peak of your year

on your drive to his house you thought about how fast this man made an impact on your chaos filled life

you spent most days on camera with a mic in your face, being asked questions by people who dont know you

today you were gonna watch nine movies with someone who you actually hoped would never stop asking you questions

when you arrived at teds apartment, you were filled with excitement, what should you even do when you saw him, hug him, kiss him?

you were scared you were gonna make a decision you would later regret, but the moment the door flung open you knew that wasnt possible

ted launched at you and swept you off your feet in a bone crushing hug, and you couldnt of been happier.

you stayed like that for a moment until he finally let you down and you could actually get a good look at him

his tall frame filled your view, and you felt yourself going feral

the day was spent watching movies, the occasional makeout sesh, and filming for his youtube channel

lets just say, thank jack manifold, for getting you on that grind ;)

guys im back, still a little sick, but we prevail 💪

cant stop that jack manifold grind 😉

im so sorry the ending sucks butt, im so tired and want to nap, so the 5 of yall that read this will have to live

[sebastianstansblog]

hot take alert: tsukishima kei prefers to praise over degrade BUT he is so sarcastic that it feels like degradation

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

// tw ;; vaginal, impact play, praise/degradation, breeding mentions & rough sex

"that's right." he hums, while drilling into your aching pussy from behind, with his hand settled upon the apex of your back to keep you in place, "such a good fucking girl f' me." he slurs, adjusting his glasses which were rattling on his face with every harsh thrust, before returning his fingers to their rightful position — circling your clit at an agonising pace.

"k— kei!" you squeal. the side of your face was smushed against the pillow, and tears were clouding your vision from the way he was brutally pounding into you. still, out of the corner of your eye, you're able to catch a glimpse of the shit-eating grin plastered on his face. you were unsure what amused so greatly: maybe it was the fact his praise was thinly-veiled mockery, or maybe he just relished in knowing how well he was fucking your brains out — as you weren't especially good at hiding it.

you were laid out before him, feebly clutching at the sheets for an inkling of solace as his cock slammed into you at a dizzying rate. strings of profanities and pornographic moans fell from your lips, while your walls were already fluttering around his cock like you were gunna climax. not to mention your trembling legs.

"aw, is my princess close already? i barely started. you must love this too much." he huffed out a chuckle, hips unrelenting even as he spoke scornfully. "it's okay. some girls can't handle big dick." he caresses your back, his tender touch in stark contrast to his contemptuous tone. " its nothing to be embarrassed about. you're good for other things, sweetie." his voice dripped with honey and caramel; it was almost convincing.

"ngh— no." you lied through your gritted teeth, denying that you're ready to orgasm.

for that you received a fierce smack on the ass, followed by tsukishima squeezing the flesh in his hand, "then why's your pussy gripping me like a fucking vice?" he rasps through a clenched jaw, irritation clear in his tone as he struggles to maintain speed when your walls are clamping down on him.

"that's jus— ah!" you whimper as he lands another harsh smack on your ass, but this one is enough to send you hurtling over the edge. your toes curled and your entire body shuddered as you submit to the intense climax that overcomes you.

"aw, look at that. so pretty, even when you finish." tsukishima teases, massaging your waist and continuing to fuck you through your high, despite how your twitching cunt made it impossible for him to suppress his own orgasm. "must be enjoying yourself, huh?" he comments, directed to how your hips rock back aimlessly against his cock.

"mmph.." is all you're able to groan, fully relaxing onto the bed, entirely worn out from your ride.

"awh, sweetie, you're saying that you're going to lay there and let me use you until i cum?" he jokingly interprets your muffled grumble as something you certainly did not say, but it doesn't feel like a joke when his hips start speeding up and resuming his ferocious thrusting.

"and you're saying you want me to cum inside that pretty hole and fill you up?" he taunts, still stroking your waist in his big hands as he plows into your glistening cunt, "well, aren't you just my perfect angel."

[sebastianstansblog]

Mastermind 2/2

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Tessa Hamilton (Original Female Character)

Summary: Lewis Hamilton moves to Ferrari. Tessa Hamilton decides that Charles Leclerc is her future husband. Charles Leclerc is the willing victim of Lewis Hamilton’s scheming little sister. 

Warnings and Notes: 

This has been in the works since January. But I finally d

As always big thanks to @llirawolf , who listens to me ramble

Warnings and Notes: 

Catfishing is obviously bad, even when it's played for laughs in this story. Thanks to the internet for helping me come up with some unhinged online dating stories.

As always big thanks to @llirawolf , who listens to me ramble

March 2025

Tessa Hamilton: The Woman Redefining Paddock Fashion—And Maybe Ferrari’s Too

Harper’s Bazaar Cover Story – March 2025

By: Louise Watson

Tessa Hamilton does not walk into a room—she arrives.

It’s a quiet afternoon in Milan when she steps into the hotel lobby where we’re meeting, effortlessly polished in a structured cream Bottega Veneta coat, heels so high they should be illegal, and a pair of sunglasses that she only removes once she’s sitting down. Even off-duty, she is unmistakably her, the woman who has single-handedly raised the standard for F1 paddock fashion.

“I tried to be casual once,” she says, shrugging. “It lasted about an hour.”

For years, Tessa has been known as Lewis Hamilton’s younger sister and personal stylist, the woman behind some of his most memorable off-track looks. But in recent seasons, she’s become a fashion powerhouse in her own right, with her race weekend outfits garnering as much attention as the Grand Prix results. Her signature style—bold, tailored, and unapologetically high fashion—has made her a favorite among designers and an icon to fans who follow her every look with the same intensity as a qualifying session.

But now, with Lewis’s move to Ferrari, Tessa finds herself in an unexpected new role: a regular in the Ferrari garage.

And if the rumors are true? Maybe, just maybe, the person who will finally fix their team merch.

“I mean, I’m just saying,” she teases, sipping her espresso. “Ferrari is the most stylish brand in motorsport. The legacy, the history—it’s Ferrari. There is no excuse for their fan merch to look like… well, like that.”

The comment is a casual one, but the internet has already made up its mind—if Ferrari suddenly starts producing sleek, high-end team apparel, everyone will know exactly who to thank.

She’s no stranger to Italy, though. Before she ever set foot in the paddock, before she ever built the career she has now, Tessa spent a few months studying in Florence, immersing herself in the city’s art and fashion.

“It was a formative time for me,” she admits. “Florence is where I fell in love with tailoring, with craftsmanship. Italians just understand fashion in a way that’s effortless. So in a way, coming back here all these years later feels a bit like a full-circle moment.”

That full-circle moment has also led to viral social media clips, the most famous being the one where Charles Leclerc, her brother’s new teammate, nearly walked into a wall upon seeing her in the paddock in 2019. 

She rolls her eyes when I bring it up, but the corner of her mouth twitches, betraying her amusement.

“Oh, poor Charles,” she says. “He’s very… expressive.”

She offers nothing more, but the internet needs no encouragement. With every weekend, fan speculation about the two of them only grows—every glance, every interaction analyzed in excruciating detail.

Still, Tessa seems unbothered by it all, more interested in discussing fashion than fueling rumors. And fashion, it seems, is what’s next for her.

There are whispers of a brand collaboration, a rumored runway debut, and—if we’re lucky—a subtle but undeniable influence on Ferrari’s aesthetic.

“Let’s just say,” she muses, “if Ferrari’s merch suddenly looks wearable, you’ll know who to thank.”

For now, though, Tessa Hamilton is content to let the world speculate. About her fashion, about Ferrari, about Charles Leclerc.

One thing is certain—whatever comes next, she’ll be wearing fabulous shoes while doing it.

***

Press Conference: Australia GP

Moderator: "Good afternoon, everyone. We’re here with Ferrari’s Charles Leclerc ahead of the season opener. Let’s get started with questions."

Journalist 1: "Charles, how has the transition been with Lewis as your new teammate?"

Charles: "It’s been great. Lewis brings so much experience to the team, and we are working well together—"

[pauses mid-sentence, lifts his water bottle to take a sip… and then chokes. Violently.]

[Coughs. Splutters. Slams the bottle down.]

[Moderator leans in, looking mildly concerned.]

Moderator: "Charles? Are you okay?"

[Charles waves a hand, still coughing, eyes watering.]

Charles: "Yes. Fine. Totally fine."

Journalist 2: "You sure? You looked like you were about to pass out."

Charles: "No, no, just—wrong pipe." [clears throat, dabs at his watering eyes] "Please, continue."

Journalist 3: "Okay… What do you think Ferrari’s biggest strengths are going into this season?"

[Charles stares blankly. Silence stretches.]

Charles: "Uh."

[More silence.]

Charles: [visibly struggling to focus, eyes flickering toward the back of the room]

Journalist 3: "…Charles?"

Charles: "Could you repeat the question?"

Journalist 3: "What do you think Ferrari’s biggest strengths are?"

Charles: "Uh. The car. The team. The… strategy?"

[A PR manager winces.]

Journalist 4: "Charles, are you sure you're feeling okay?"

Charles: "I am perfectly fine."

[The camera zooms in on him blinking rapidly, looking like he just suffered a minor out-of-body experience. The reason? Tessa Hamilton has just walked into the room, effortlessly stunning in a custom ferrari red corset detailed with 44 and 16, high-waisted trousers, and Louboutins so high they should be classified as a safety hazard.]

Charles: [clears throat again, forcing his eyes back to the journalists] "Next question, please."

***

Twitter Thread: Charles Leclerc nearly drowns

@/F1ChaosTheory: BREAKING: Charles Leclerc nearly drowns himself during a Ferrari press conference.

@/Ferrari4Life: Context: Tessa Hamilton walked in and man FORGOT how to BREATHE.

@/F1FashionQueen: TESSA HAMILTON JUST SHOWED UP IN A CUSTOM FERRARI CORSET THAT’S HALF LEWIS AND HALF CHARLES. SHE IS THE MOMENT.

@/LandoNorrisFan69: He had a system error. A full-on reboot.

@/RedMistLeclerc: Ferrari strategy couldn't kill him, but Tessa’s outfit did.

@/MercedesMemes: I bet Lewis is watching this from the garage shaking his head.

@/TessaFashionQueen: The way she wasn’t even TRYING. The power this woman holds.

@/ArthurLeclercOfficialFan: Arthur is going to be insufferable about this, and I’m here for it.

@/TifosiTears: Ferrari could never design a functioning strategy, but Tessa just designed the most iconic piece of F1 fashion history.

@/SoftForCharles: The way the corset is literally split down the middle—one side #44, one side #16. She really said, ‘I contain multitudes.’

@/SirLewisUpdates: The absolute grip Tessa has on F1. Lewis' logo on one side, Charles’ number on the other… like girl, HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LIVE OUR DREAM?

@/CharlesLeclercFan: Charles is definitely going through it. He took one look at Tessa and fully malfunctioned.

@/GridGossip: When I tell you Lewis clocked the corset, shook his head, and grinned??? He KNOWS she’s here to cause chaos.

@/PaddockPrincess: Tessa Hamilton, my lawyer will be in touch because I am emotionally unprepared for this level of perfection.

@/Ferraristi: Imagine Ferrari dropping their special edition merch and Tessa just out-designs them effortlessly.

@/F1MemeAccount: Charles is in hell. Lewis is entertained. Tessa is thriving. Balance in the universe is restored.

@/TessaHamiltonStan: The way she strategically placed Charles' number right over her heart though… She knows EXACTLY what she’s doing.

@/OversteerAndTears: Charles saw the corset, blinked ten times, and had to take a deep breath. Man is struggling.

@/EngineModePanic: Charles is about to drive the race of his life just to process whatever is happening here.

@/PaddockSpy: Someone get the Ferrari social team on this. The engagement alone would be unreal.

@/TifosiDrama: If Charles wins today, we all know why.

@/PaddockChic: Tessa really woke up this morning and said, Let me cause an international incident with fashion.

@/MonacoGossip: Charles looked at Tessa, looked away, looked back, and then just stared. Boy is in a CRISIS.

@/TifosiHeart: Someone check on Charles. He hasn’t blinked since she walked in.

@/SirLewisFans: Lewis dapped her up when he saw the corset. He knows his sister is unhinged and he’s PROUD.

@/TheFerrariFiles: This woman has made the most powerful statement Ferrari has seen in YEARS. Who needs a press release when you have Tessa Hamilton?

@/OversteerQueen: The real question is: Did Charles KNOW she was planning this, or is he just as flustered as the rest of us?

@/TessaUpdates: There is a video of Tessa adjusting the corset and Charles standing behind her, visibly buffering.

@/F1ReactionCam: Charles’ face when he saw the corset needs to be framed in a museum.

@/TifosiMemes: Ferrari can’t make a car that works, but Tessa can make a corset that has BOTH drivers in shambles. PRIORITIES.

@/PaddockPrincess: The Ferrari admin has ten minutes to post her fit or I’m calling the police.

@/IsItRaceWeek: Someone in the paddock just said “this is the most strategic Ferrari has been all season.”

@/LandoLover: Lando walked past, did a double take, and then just started laughing. He KNOWS Charles is in trouble.

@/TeamLH: This is exactly what Enzo Ferrari meant when he said Ferrari is a way of life.

@/PitLaneDrama: Tessa is singlehandedly making Ferrari merch FASHION.

@/GridTea: Somewhere in the world, Christian Horner is wondering why Red Bull doesn’t have someone like Tessa Hamilton.

@/CharlesDefenseSquad: If Charles DNFs today, I fully expect him to blame the corset.

@/FerraristiForever: Charles, blinking rapidly: “Yeah, um, Tessa’s, uh, corset— I mean, uh, the car— yeah, the car feels good today.”

@/F1FashionIcon: When’s the official Ferrari x Tessa Hamilton collab dropping?

@/WAGsAndF1: Someone asked Tessa about the corset and she just smiled and said, “Gotta support my boys.” CHARLES IS FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE.

***

Text Messages - Charles Leclerc and Pascale Leclerc

Pascale: Charles.

Charles: Bonjour, Maman.

Pascale: I just saw the press conference.

Charles: …Which one?

Pascale: Don’t play dumb, mon chéri. The one where you nearly died because Lewis’ sister walked into the room.

Charles: I did not die.

Pascale: Charles. You choked on water, started coughing uncontrollably, and were unable to speak in full sentences. 

Charles: It was a stressful situation.

Pascale: Stressful how?

Charles: …

Pascale: Charles.

Pascale: I raised you better than to crumble under a pretty woman.

Charles: MAMAN.

Pascale: Oh, don’t “Maman” me. You are a grown man. You drive at 300 km/h every weekend but you can’t handle a little flirting?

Charles: IT IS NOT “A LITTLE FLIRTING.”

Pascale: So you admit she flirts with you?

Charles: THAT IS NOT THE POINT.

Pascale: It is the point.

Pascale: You have had a crush on her for YEARS.

Charles: Maman, please.

Pascale: And yet you are still acting like a schoolboy every time she looks at you.

Charles: She doesn’t just look at me.

Charles: She smiles at me.

Pascale: Mon Dieu.

Pascale: My son is an international sports star and he is being defeated by a smile.

Charles: You don’t understand.

Pascale: No, I understand perfectly.

Pascale: You are the one who doesn’t understand that she is clearly enjoying this.

Charles: Enjoying what???

Pascale: Watching you suffer.

Charles: …

Charles: That is concerning.

Maman: No, what is concerning is the fact that you are letting Lewis bully you while his sister flirts with you in broad daylight.

Charles: I am not letting him do anything!!!

Pascale: Oh, please. You are his teammate now. That means you are doomed.

Charles: Merci, Maman.

Pascale: You are welcome, mon ange.

Maman: Now, when are you finally going to ask her out?

Charles:

Charles: MAMAN.

Pascale: What?

Pascale: I am simply looking out for my son’s happiness.

Pascale: You are looking out for drama.

Maman: Both can be true.

***

Text Messages - Charles Leclerc and Tessa Hamilton

Tessa: So.

Tessa: How does it feel knowing you have officially survived the press conference?

Charles: I barely survived.

Tessa: That’s fair.

Tessa: You did nearly drown on stage.

Charles: I choked on water.

Tessa: That’s crazy because I swear you forgot how to breathe the second I walked in.

Charles: You did that on purpose.

Tessa: Me?

Tessa: Flirting aggressively just to see you panic?

Tessa: Never.

Charles: I don’t believe you.

Tessa: Good instincts.

Charles: I don’t understand how you are this confident.

Tessa: And I don’t understand how you are this flustered.

Tessa: You’re an F1 driver. You have ice in your veins. You are so cool under pressure.

Tessa: And yet.

Charles: Stop.

Tessa: You panic the second I so much as glance at you.

Charles: That is not true.

Tessa: Oh?

Tessa: Would you like to hear the list of things I did today that made you go bright red?

Charles: No.

Tessa: Too bad.

Tessa: 1) I tucked your hair behind your ear.

Charles: That was unnecessary.

Tessa: 2) I called you cute when you panic.

Charles: That was mean.

Tessa: 3) I touched your arm for 0.2 seconds.

Charles: That was uncalled for.

Tessa: And my personal favorite—

Tessa: 4) I whispered something in French to you and you looked like you were about to die on the spot.

Charles: THAT WAS EVIL.

Tessa: You liked it.

Charles: I AM IGNORING YOU.

Tessa: You’re cute when you lie to yourself.

Charles: I am blocking you.

Tessa: No, you’re not.

Charles: I AM.

Tessa: Do it then.

Charles:

Tessa:

Charles: I hate you.

You: No, you don’t.

Charles: …No, I don’t.

Tessa: Good boy.

***

Group Chat: Les Leclercs

(Members: Charles, Arthur, Lorenzo, Pascale)

Lorenzo: What is happening on my timeline.

Arthur: Your future sister-in-law is ending Charles in real time.

Charles: STOP.

Lorenzo: She’s bold. I like her.

Arthur: She’s in the garage right now with your dog on her lap, casually ruining your life.

Charles: I KNOW.

Arthur: Be honest. Did you nearly drown because you saw Tessa?

Lorenzo: I just watched the press conference. That was embarrassing.

Arthur: No, actually, it was HILARIOUS. You genuinely almost died.

Lorenzo: You’ve driven in torrential rain. You’ve gone wheel-to-wheel with Max Verstappen at 300km/h. You’ve survived Ferrari strategy.

Lorenzo: And you CHOKED on a WATER BOTTLE over a woman?

Charles: Leave. Me. Alone.

Arthur: Never.

Charles: I hate both of you.

Arthur: Nah, you hate composure. Because you have NONE.

Charles: Blocked.

Arthur: Babe, you WISH.

***

Grid Group Chat 2025

Lando: CHARLES.

George: That was the single funniest thing I have ever seen in my life.

Oscar: Do we need to hold a funeral for your dignity?

Carlos: Was it sparkling water or still?

Pierre: [sends screenshot of Charles mid-choke, eyes wide, panic visible]

Alex: Man was fighting for his LIFE.

Lewis: What happened?

Pierre: Your new teammate just had a full-on respiratory crisis because your sister walked into the press room.

Lewis: …

Lewis: Are you kidding.

Lando: NOPE.

Oscar: It was like watching a car crash in slow motion.

George: Ferrari needs to put him in media training.

Carlos: No, Ferrari needs to put him in therapy.

Charles: I am going to kill all of you.

Lando: You won’t. You’re too busy apologising to your water bottle.

George: True, have you sent it a formal apology yet?

Charles: BLOCKED.

***

Pascale didn’t  believe in coincidences.

So when she spotted Tessa Hamilton browsing a boutique in Monaco—a boutique that, coincidentally, was just a few streets away from Charles’ apartment—she decided that fate is giving her an opportunity.

“Tessa,” Pascale greeted, stepping inside as the shop attendant rushes to assist her.

Tessa turned, holding a silk scarf in one hand. She blinked once, then smiles, as if she’d been expecting this moment all along. “Pascale. You have impeccable timing.”

Pascale hummed, eyeing the scarf in Tessa’s hand. “That color would look nice on you.”

Tessa tilted her head. “Wouldn’t it?” She draped it over her arm and then gestured at the boutique. “You here to shop or interrogate me?”

Pascale laughed, amused. “Can it not be both?”

Tessa grinned. “By all means.”

Pascale watched as Tessa moves effortlessly through the store, picking up a blazer, considering a pair of heels. She was confident, poised—the kind of woman Pascale had always thought Charles needed in his life. Someone who wouldn’t let him overthink his way out of happiness.

And yet, Charles was still dragging his feet.

“So,” Pascale said, watching as Tessa examines a row of sunglasses. “How much longer are we going to play this game?”

Tessa slipped on a pair of oversized tortoiseshell frames and turns to her. “Which game?”

Pascale raised a brow. “The one where you pretend you’re not hopelessly in love with my son.”

Tessa snorted, pushing the glasses up into her hair. “That’s bold, Pascale.”

Pascale shrugged, unbothered. “I’ve raised three boys. I know when one of them is stupid about a girl.”

Tessa crossed her arms, looking entirely too pleased with herself. “And Charles is stupid about me?”

“Oh, incredibly,” Pascale said, shaking her head. “It’s painful to watch.”

Tessa tapped a manicured nail against her chin. “Interesting.”

Pascale narrowed her eyes. “Don’t play with him too much, ma belle.”

Tessa’s smirk softens just a little. “I wouldn’t do that.”

“Good,” Pascale said, satisfied. Then she gestures at the scarf still draped over Tessa’s arm. “Are you going to buy that?”

Tessa glanced at it, then nodded. “Yeah. Maybe I’ll let Charles borrow it sometime.”

Pascale chuckled. “That poor boy.”

Tessa just smiles, all mischief. “Oh, don’t feel too bad for him.”

***

Group Chat: Les Leclercs

(Members: Charles, Arthur, Lorenzo, Pascale)

Pascale: Charles, have you asked Tessa out yet?

Charles: Maman, no.

Pascale: Why not?

Arthur: Yeah, why not?

Lorenzo: Maybe because every time he sees her, he forgets how to function like a normal human being.

Charles: That is NOT true.

Pascale: She would be a beautiful distraction, wouldn’t she?

Charles: MAMAN.

Pascale: I’m just saying, if you don’t ask her out, someone else will.

Arthur: Ooooh. Threats. I like it.

Lorenzo: She’s right, though. Tessa is gorgeous, smart, and has impeccable taste. If you don’t move, someone else will.

Charles: She flirts with everyone.

Pascale: But she flirts with you differently.

Arthur: Exactly. She called me ‘cute’ once, but she calls you ‘handsome.’ Big difference.

Charles: That means nothing.

Arthur: She adjusted your collar when we were at lunch, Charles. Twice.

Pascale: TWICE.

Lorenzo: What more do you need, an engraved invitation?

Charles: She’s just like that!

Pascale: Sweetheart. Do you think I don’t know when a woman is interested in a Leclerc? I was one, once upon a time.

Arthur: This is the best group chat conversation we’ve ever had.

Charles: I am muting this chat.

Pascale: Fine, fine. I’ll stop.

Charles: Thank you.

Pascale: …For now.

April 2025

Lewis Hamilton on Ferrari, His Sister, and Charles Leclerc’s Struggles

Journalist: Lewis, you’ve settled into Ferrari now—how’s it been working alongside Charles?

Lewis: It’s been great. We push each other, which is what you want in a teammate.

Journalist: He seemed… a little thrown off when your sister’s name came up in a recent interview. Any thoughts?

Lewis: (smirks) You guys really aren’t letting this go, huh?

Journalist: Can you blame us?

Lewis: Listen, my sister has done far greater things in her life than whatever is going on with Charles Leclerc. She’s built an amazing career, she’s changed the way people see fashion in this sport, and she somehow convinced my dog to love her more than me. That’s real power.

Journalist: And Charles?

Lewis: (laughs) Charles is a great driver, but if he short-circuits every time she walks into a room, that’s not my problem.

***

Meanwhile on Twitter: 

@/F1MemeLord: LEWIS REALLY SAID “MY SISTER’S ACHIEVEMENTS > CHARLES’ ABILITY TO FUNCTION.” ICONIC.

@/TifosiTears: Lewis: “Charles is a great driver.” Also Lewis: “My sister’s existence is his biggest challenge.”

@/SoftForCharles: Why does Lewis talk about Charles like he’s an overexcited golden retriever??

@/PaddockGossip: Lewis Hamilton treating Charles Leclerc like a minor inconvenience in his sister’s much more important life is sending me.

@/GridGirls: Tessa Hamilton: fashion icon, power broker, winner of Leo the dachshund’s heart. Charles Leclerc: man struggling to cope.

***

Group Chat: Les Trois Frères

(Members: Charles, Arthur, Lorenzo)

Lorenzo: So… how’s Ferrari treating you now that Lewis is there?

Arthur: Yeah, how’s it going teammate?

Charles: It’s fine.

Lorenzo: Just fine?

Arthur: Why do I feel like “fine” actually means “I embarrassed myself in front of Lewis’ sister again”?

Charles: I DIDN’T.

Arthur: So you totally did.

Lorenzo: What happened?

Charles: Nothing.

Arthur: Spill.

Charles: It’s just… journalists won’t stop asking about her.

Arthur: And you completely held it together?

Charles: Of course.

Lorenzo: You walked into a wall in 2019 when you first met her.

Arthur: You almost drowned yourself with a water bottle when she walked into your press conference.

Lorenzo: What did you do this time?

Charles: …Nothing.

Arthur: Liar.

Lorenzo: Liar.

Charles: …Lewis got asked about it too, and he basically said she has done greater things in her life than whatever is going on with me.

Arthur: PFFFFT.

Lorenzo: Brutal.

Arthur: Lewis said “my sister is an icon, and Charles is just there.”

Lorenzo: I mean… he’s not wrong.

Charles: I hate both of you.

Arthur: No, you don’t.

Lorenzo: So what’s your next move?

Charles: My next move is focusing on the season.

Arthur: Charles.

Lorenzo: Charles.

Arthur: Just marry her already, you’re exhausting.

Charles: I AM WORKING ON IT.

Arthur: There it is.

Lorenzo: Finally, some honesty.

***

Text Messages - Arthur Leclerc and Tessa Hamilton

Arthur: Tessa, I am on my KNEES. PLEASE just put Charles out of his misery.

Tessa: Wow, you’re really emotional about your brother’s love life. Should I be worried?

Arthur: I AM emotional because I have had to witness, for YEARS, the absolute circus that is Charles whenever you are within a 10-meter radius.

Arthur: Do you understand that I have seen this man STARE at your Instagram stories like they contain the secrets of the universe?

Tessa: That’s so sweet. 🥹

Arthur: NO, IT IS NOT SWEET. IT IS EXHAUSTING.

Arthur: He literally overanalyzes every single interaction with you.

Arthur: “Do you think Tessa meant something when she said my hair looked nice today?” “She touched my arm during media day—what does it mean?” “She sent me a meme at 2 AM, is that flirting?”

Arthur: BRO, I DON’T KNOW. JUST ASK HER OUT.

Tessa: Aw, he’s so stupid. I love that about him.

Arthur: I AM GOING TO THROW MY PHONE INTO THE SEA.

Tessa: No, you won’t. Because you need your phone to text me updates on your brother’s breakdowns.

Arthur: I AM NOT YOUR SPY, STOP THIS.

Tessa: But Arthur, think about it. If Charles and I get married, you and I will officially be siblings.

Arthur: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO ME?

Tessa: I just think it’s important to mentally prepare you.

Arthur: I hate this. I hate you. I hate everything.

Tessa: No, you love me. And one day, when Charles and I are happily married, you’ll give a heartfelt speech at our wedding about how you always knew it was meant to be.

Arthur: I AM BLOCKING YOU.

Tessa: You’ll never actually block me.

Arthur: …I hate that you’re right.

Tessa: And yet, you text me first. Every time. 🥰

***

Text Messages - Pascale Leclerc and Tessa Hamilton

Pascale: Ma chérie, I just want you to know that I am fully in support of whatever this… situation is with Charles.

Tessa: 👀 Situation?

Pascale: Don’t play innocent with me, ma fille. I am a mother. I see all. I know all.

Tessa: Wow. Terrifying.

Pascale: Thank you.

Pascale: But truly, I adore you. And Charles is completely, hopelessly, utterly gone for you. He has been for years. So if you are serious, I will be very happy.

Tessa: That’s so sweet, Pascale. But what if I’m just here to terrorize him for sport?

Pascale: Then I will be forced to intervene.

Tessa: How?

Pascale: By making you part of this family whether you like it or not.

Tessa: …Are you threatening to adopt me?

Pascale: Yes.

Tessa: That’s diabolical. I love it.

Pascale: You are already one of us. Might as well make it official.

Tessa: Well, I do have a 27-step plan to marry your son, so…

Pascale: Good. But I must insist you speed it up. I am not getting any younger.

Tessa: You’re incredible.

Pascale: I know.

Pascale: Now, when you do marry Charles, you will need to let me help with the wedding planning. He is terrible at decisions.

Tessa: Noted. We’ll form a committee.

Pascale: Exactly.

Pascale: Now tell me, how much longer do we have to pretend that this is not happening?

Tessa: I give it two months before he snaps and finally kisses me.

Pascale: One month. He is weak.

Tessa: Want to bet?

Pascale: Absolutely.

***

Group Chat: Les Trois Frères

(Members: Charles, Arthur, Lorenzo)

Lorenzo: Charles, I need you to come for a suit fitting for the wedding.

Charles: Sure. When?

Lorenzo: This afternoon.

Charles: Ok.

Arthur: Is this the same tailor you always use?

Lorenzo: No, I got someone better to help.

Charles: ??

Arthur: ??

Charles: Who?

Lorenzo: Tessa.

Arthur: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Charles: No.

Lorenzo: Yes.

Charles: No.

Lorenzo: Yes.

Charles: No.

Lorenzo: Charles, be serious.

Charles: I am serious. I’m not doing this.

Lorenzo: It’s already set up. You’re coming.

Charles: This is a trap.

Arthur: Oh, it’s 100% a trap. And I will be there to witness every second of it.

Charles: I hate you both.

Lorenzo: You’ll survive.

Arthur: Will he, though?

Lorenzo: …debatable.

Charles: You are the worst.

Arthur: Correction: Lorenzo is the worst. I’m just here to enjoy the suffering.

Lorenzo: See you at 3, Charles. Don’t be late.

Charles: I hope it rains on your wedding day.

Lorenzo: Blocked.

***

Charles Leclerc had faced many challenges in his life.

Toughest racing conditions? Been there.

Heartbreaking losses? Survived them.

Having Tessa Hamilton adjust his suit while his traitor brothers cackled in the background?

This was his true test of endurance.

“Stand still,” Tessa scolded, tugging at the lapels of his jacket.

Charles clenched his jaw. “I am standing still.”

“No, you’re twitching.”

“I don’t twitch.”

Arthur, lounging on the couch, snorted. “Oh, you twitch, brother.”

Lorenzo, ever the older sibling instigator, hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe he’s just nervous.”

“I am not nervous,” Charles bit out.

Tessa raised an eyebrow but said nothing, continuing to adjust the fabric with precise, agonizingly slow movements. Her fingers brushed his collar, then trailed down to smooth the lapels.

Charles froze.

Arthur and Lorenzo—who had been mercilessly amused—suddenly fell silent.

Tessa, still completely unaware of the absolute chaos she was causing, tilted her head in consideration. “Jacket fits well. The cut suits you.”

Arthur gasped. “Did you just compliment him?”

Lorenzo nodded. “I think she did.”

Charles narrowed his eyes. “Would you both shut up?”

“Oh, we could.” Arthur grinned. “But why would we?”

Tessa smirked. “They have a point. You should take the win, Charles. Not like you get them often.”

Arthur howled. “She’s got jokes! I like her.”

Lorenzo chuckled. “Charles, I think she should be in charge of all your suits from now on.”

Tessa shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind. He needs help.”

Charles exhaled sharply, praying for patience.

Then—as if the universe hadn’t tortured him enough— Tessa reached out and fixed his tie.

Her fingers lingered against his collarbone as she adjusted the knot, eyes focused, lips pressed together in concentration.

Charles’ brain completely short-circuited.

Arthur’s eyes went wide. “Oh, no.”

Lorenzo shook his head. “Oh, yes.”

Tessa, oblivious, patted Charles’ chest. Patted. His. Chest. “There. Now you actually look presentable.”

Silence.

Arthur and Lorenzo exchanged a look.

Charles didn’t move. Couldn’t move.

Finally, Arthur whispered, “He’s gone.”

Lorenzo nodded solemnly. “Absolutely finished.”

Arthur turned to Tessa. “Congratulations. You’ve broken him.”

Tessa blinked. “What?”

Arthur smirked. “Nothing. Just admiring Charles’ ability to completely lose all motor function in real-time.”

Charles, still staring blankly, groaned.

Tessa rolled her eyes, collecting the extra fabric samples. “Alright, fitting’s done.”

Arthur grinned. “When’s the next one? Because I am so coming back for this.”

Charles turned on his heel and walked straight out of the apartment.

***

May 2025

Tessa had been having a fantastic morning. Monaco was beautiful, her playlist was vibey, and she was feeling good on her jog—until she misstepped on an uneven bit of pavement and went down like a lead balloon.

Pain flared up her ankle, sharp and immediate.

"Oh, for fu—" she hissed, grabbing her foot and wincing as she tested the movement. Definitely not broken, but badly twisted.

Which, of course, was exactly when Charles Leclerc appeared.

Because of course he did.

“Tessa?” His voice was laced with confusion as he slowed to a stop in front of her, sweaty from his own run but still looking annoyingly perfect.

“Don’t say a word,” she warned, barely resisting the urge to glare.

Charles blinked. “I haven’t said anything yet.”

“You were thinking something,” she shot back. “I could hear it.”

Ignoring her, Charles squatted down in front of her, his warm hands gently skimming over her ankle before she could even protest. “What happened?”

Tessa sighed. “The sidewalk and I had a disagreement.”

Charles hummed like this was very serious. “And who won?”

She shot him a flat look. “What do you think?”

“I think,” he said, already wrapping an arm around her back, one hand hooking under her knees, “that I’m carrying you home.”

Before she could argue, he lifted her like she weighed nothing.

“Charles—put me down!”

“No.”

“I can still hop!”

“You’re not a rabbit, Tessa.”

“Wow, brilliant observation.”

Charles just grinned, completely unfazed. “I’m full of them.”

Tessa huffed, folding her arms as he started walking, Monaco locals staring at them with undisguised interest. “You do realize I’m never going to let you live this down, right?”

“Oh?” Charles glanced down at her, his smirk so smug it should be illegal. “You think this is embarrassing for me?”

Tessa opened her mouth. Closed it. Damn it.

He had a point.

“Fine,” she muttered, leaning her head against his shoulder. “But if anyone asks, I fought a bear.”

Charles bit back a laugh. “In Monaco?”

“Yes.”

“And it only hurt your ankle?”

“I'm very good.”

Charles did laugh at that, his chest vibrating against her side. “Sure, Tess.”

Tessa groaned. She was never living this down.

***

Group Chat: Les Leclercs

(Members: Charles, Arthur, Lorenzo, Pascale)

Lorenzo: Charles, where are you? You’re late for breakfast.

Arthur: Yeah, aren’t you the one always yelling about being on time?

Charles: I had to carry Tessa home.

Lorenzo: …Carry?

Arthur: Excuse me?

Charles: She sprained her ankle while jogging.

Arthur: And you carried her?

Charles: Yes?? She couldn’t walk properly.

Lorenzo: Be honest. Did you volunteer immediately or wait, like, five seconds for her to ask?

Charles: ...

Arthur: You VOLUNTEERED IMMEDIATELY, DIDN’T YOU?

Charles: She needed help!

Lorenzo: Sure. Totally just about helping. Nothing to do with the fact that you’ve been in love with her for years.

Charles: I have not.

Arthur: Did you sigh while carrying her?

Charles: No.

Lorenzo: Did you look at her like she personally hung the stars in the sky?

Charles: No.

Arthur: Did you whisper something like “you should be more careful” all soft and concerned?

Charles: ...maybe.

Arthur: OH MY GOD.

Lorenzo: I bet he was walking slowly to make the moment last longer.

Arthur: Charles, did you walk slow?

Charles: I had to be careful!

Arthur: He totally walked slow.

Lorenzo: You’re ridiculous.

Arthur: Did you sigh longingly after dropping her off?

Charles: ...

Lorenzo: Oh, he did.

Arthur: CHARLES.

Charles: OKAY, FINE. MAYBE. JUST A LITTLE.

Arthur: The way you are so unhinged about her.

Lorenzo: You’re doomed.

Arthur: Just marry her already.

Charles: Stop it.

Arthur: “Oh nooo, I had to carry the woman I’m in love with in my arms like a romance novel, what a tragedy.”

Charles: I hate you both.

Lorenzo: No, you don’t.

Arthur: Not as much as you love Tessa.

Charles: Goodbye.

***

Tessa’s Twitter During Race Weekend: 

@/TessaHamiltoncan’t.

@/F1Fanatic99??? Can’t WHAT? Where are you?

@/gridgossipWait, why isn’t Tessa at the race? She’s always there when Lewis is racing (and hovering when Charles is).

@/TessaHamiltonCan’t show up if I can’t wear heels.

@/Charles_LeclercShe sprained her ankle. She won’t come if she has to wear flat shoes.

@/TessaHamiltonwhy would you betray me like this

@/paddockprincessNot Tessa refusing to be seen in sneakers LMAO. Queen behavior.

@/LandoNorrisThis is the most unserious injury update I’ve ever seen.

@/CarlosSainz55Priorities.

@/Charles_LeclercYou literally said “I’d rather die than wear flats in public.”

@/TessaHamiltonAND I STAND BY IT.

@/F1TeaTessa choosing fashion over F1 is the most on-brand thing ever.

@/scuderiaferrariWe offered to send a golf cart.

@/TessaHamiltonAbsolutely not. If I roll up in a golf cart, the internet will think I’m injured for real.

@/Charles_Leclerc…You are injured for real.

@/TessaHamiltonit doesn’t count if it’s ugly

@/gridgossipThe only person more dramatic than Charles Leclerc? Tessa Hamilton.

@/paddockfashionSo she’s missing a race because she refuses to wear flats??

@/TessaHamiltoncorrect.

@/LewisHamiltonI am both proud and deeply concerned.

@/LandoNorrisI’m sorry, but I need to see Charles’ face when he realized she wasn’t coming over this.

@/Arthur_LeclercOh, he was suffering.

@/Charles_Leclerc…No, I wasn’t.

@/Arthur_LeclercBro, you literally texted “Tessa nooooo” when you found out.

@/TessaHamiltonyou miss me? ;)

@/Charles_Leclerc…No.

@/gridgossipSomeone check on him.

****

Charles was suffering.

He hated ice baths. Every time, it was the same—five minutes in, and he was questioning every life decision that had brought him here. But they were necessary, so he gritted his teeth and endured.

Or at least, he was trying to endure.

The door swung open, and before he even looked up, he knew exactly who it was.

“Well, look at you.”

Tessa Hamilton.

Charles sighed. “What do you want?”

“To witness your pain.”

He shot her a look. She grinned.

Tessa was, as always, perfectly put together. A fitted red top, wide-leg trousers that somehow made her look even taller, and impossibly high heels that had no business being worn in a paddock. She leaned against the counter, watching him like he was some kind of entertainment.

“You look like you’re having a great time,” she said.

“I am freezing.”

“Well, obviously.” She crouched beside the tub, peering into the ice-filled water. “I don’t get how you do this.”

“I do not have a choice.”

Tessa hummed, clearly unconvinced. “It can’t be that bad.”

Charles raised a brow. “You want to try?”

“Maybe.”

He smirked. “You would not last five seconds.”

Tessa scoffed. “Excuse me?”

“I am simply saying,” Charles drawled, “that you are a little bit—” He gestured vaguely. “—dramatic.”

Tessa’s eyes narrowed. “That’s a bold accusation.”

Charles shrugged. “Am I wrong?”

She stared at him for a long moment, then, without breaking eye contact, reached down and slipped off her ridiculous heels.

Charles blinked.

“Wait—”

Too late.

Tessa plunged her feet into the ice water.

There was one second of silence before she screamed.

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

Charles doubled over laughing.

Tessa scrambled to pull her feet out, gasping like she’d just been personally attacked.

“WHY would anyone do that?!”

“I told you,” Charles wheezed, wiping away tears. “It is awful.”

“That’s not normal.” She looked personally offended. “How do you survive?”

“I do not,” he said solemnly. “I am already dead.”

Tessa huffed, glaring at him before looking back at the tub. She squared her shoulders.

“Okay,” she declared. “I have to do it again.”

Charles’ jaw dropped. “Why?”

“Because I wasn’t ready.”

“That is—Tessa, that is not how this works.”

Before he could stop her, she plunged her feet back in.

Tessa physically convulsed.

“FUCK.”

“I told you—”

“I know, shut up—”

Charles sat back, enjoying the show as Tessa clenched her jaw, vibrating from the cold.

After exactly ten seconds, she yanked her feet out again, violently shaking them.

“I am never listening to you again.”

“You are the one who did this to yourself.”

“I was challenged.”

“You were stupid.”

Tessa exhaled sharply, standing up. Charles expected her to leave, but instead, she picked up the bucket of ice sitting next to the tub.

Charles’ eyes widened.

“Tessa,” he said slowly. “What are you—”

Before he could react, she dumped the ice straight onto his chest.

Charles screamed.

Water sloshed everywhere as he flailed, gasping for air.

Tessa, meanwhile, was cackling.

“Oh my God,” she wheezed, bracing herself against the counter. “That was incredible.”

Charles sat there, betrayed.

“I cannot believe you,” he gasped.

“You provoked me.”

“I will never forgive you.”

“Oh, please,” she teased, slipping her heels back on like nothing happened. “You’ll forgive me in five minutes.”

Charles scowled.

Tessa smirked.

Then, before she left, she leaned down, patted his very, very cold cheek, and whispered—

“Try not to drown, mon chéri.”

And with that, she was gone.

Leaving Charles freezing, suffering, and hopelessly in love.

***

Group Chat: Les Trois Frères

(Members: Charles, Arthur, Lorenzo)

Lorenzo: Charles. You’re are always on the back foot with Tessa. You’re waiting around like a lovesick fool. You need to make a move.

Charles: You think I don’t want to?? You think I don’t rehearse it?? I literally practiced asking her out in the mirror last week and Leo walked out of the room.

Arthur: Even the dog can’t take it anymore.

Lorenzo: She flirts with you like it’s a blood sport. And you stammer and blink and forget how to function.

Charles: What am I supposed to do??

Arthur: Speak. Form words. Be a man.

Lorenzo: Tomorrow. You ask her out. No dithering. No blinking. You are Charles Leclerc. You drive for Ferrari. You’ve survived Monaco strategy. You can do this.

***

Instagram Story:  @/charles_leclerc

Black screen with white serif text, minimalist vibes, dramatic as hell.

new track out tonight. mth97.for the muse.

Swipe up → [Listen Now]

****

Twitter Thread: The Great Mystery

@/F1MusicFanCharles really dropped a song called MTH97 and expected us to just go with it?? What does it MEAN?

↳ @/FerrariStanMaybe it’s some deep metaphor? Monaco To Home 1997?? Music That Hurts 97%?? Someone analyze this.

↳ @/CharlesSimp16Knowing Charles, it probably just sounded nice on the piano.

—

@/GridTeaOkay but real talk—has ANYONE figured out what MTH97 stands for?? Or are we all just pretending we get it?

↳ @/TifosiQueenMy theory: “Monaco’s True Hero, born in 1997” aka himself.

↳ @/McLarenChaosSir, that is the most Charles Leclerc thing I’ve ever heard.

—

@/F1UpdatesCharles' song MTH97 is beautiful, emotional, and has an almost nostalgic feel to it. But what does the title mean? Fans are debating theories, but no official explanation has been given.

↳ @/FerrariAnonIt’s giving coded love letter vibes.

↳ @/MaxSlanderAccHe’s dramatic, of course it’s a love letter.

—

@/TessaHStyleWait. HOLD ON. Tessa’s full name is Mary Theresa Hamilton. MTH. She was born in 1997. OH MY GOD.

↳ @/F1DetectivesNO. WAY.

↳ @/ScuderiaChaosOh we were SO STUPID.

↳ @/TessaNationCharles really hid a song for Tessa in plain sight and we just SAT HERE.

↳ @/LandoIsMyTherapistWe were out here thinking it was some deep poetic concept and it’s just CHARLES BEING IN LOVE.

—

@/F1MemeAccountCharles: drops an entire love song for TessaUs: What does it mean??? Charles: …it’s literally her initials and birth year. Us: OH.

↳ @/FerrariFTWHe’s been soft-launching this relationship for YEARS.

↳ @/LeclefiedTessa wins. Again.

—

@/F1ChaosCan’t believe we all collectively missed this. Even Lewis probably figured it out before us.

—

@/TifosiTearsCharles Leclerc is a romantic. We lost.

↳ @/TessaHBestieTessa won.

—

@/F1MusicFanCharles just dropped MTH97 out of nowhere and expects us to just sit here and not lose our minds?? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

↳ @/FerrariGirl16Monaco To Heaven 1997?? Maybe it’s a tribute to something??

↳ @/GridGossipKnowing Charles, it’s either heartbreakingly deep or completely random. No in-between.

—

@/ScuderiaSoundsOkay, but MTH97 is actually gorgeous. The melody?? The emotion??? We need answers IMMEDIATELY.

↳ @/McLarenTeaIf this is about a girl, she better appreciate it because DAMN.

↳ @/MaxFanClubIt’s Charles. It’s always about a girl.

—

@/PitLaneDramaOkay but what if MTH97 stands for something like "Monaco’s Tragic Hero, 1997"? Like a self-reflection thing?

↳ @/FerrariAnonThis is the same man who posted a whole breakup song and then said it was “just a vibe.” I don’t trust him.

↳ @/PianoPrince16No but what if it’s initials? Like someone’s name??

—

@/TessaHStyleWait. WAIT. HOLD ON. Tessa Hamilton’s full name is Mary Theresa Hamilton. MTH. She was born in 1997.

CHARLES.

↳ @/FerrariNationNO. YOU’RE LYING.

↳ @/TifosiMadnessCHARLES REALLY THOUGHT HE WAS SLICK.

↳ @/TessaLover77The man wrote an entire love song and hid it in plain sight.

↳ @/GridChaosWe are so embarrassing.

—

@/F1MemeAccountCharles Leclerc: MTH97Us: What could this mysterious, poetic title possibly mean??? Tessa’s birth certificate: Hey.

↳ @/ScuderiaTearsI feel so DUMB.

—

@/TifosiLoverCHARLES LECLERC IS WHIPPED.

↳ @/TessaHamiltonStanTessa Hamilton supremacy confirmed.

—

@/GridGossipCharles really thought we wouldn’t notice that MTH97 is literally Tessa’s initials and birth year.

↳ @/F1MemesDailyBro thought he was slick.

—

@/ScuderiaLoveCharles is down SO BAD. This is not even funny anymore.

↳ @/TifosiTearsIt’s hilarious.

↳ @/LeclercNationThis man walked into a wall when he first met her, and now he’s composing symphonies in her honor.

↳ @/TessaFanpageShe deserves it tbh.

***

***

Tessa wasn’t even online when it dropped.

She’d spent the evening curled up on her couch in her Monte Carlo apartment, a sheet mask on, reruns of Killing Eve playing in the background, her phone tossed somewhere under a pile of throw pillows. Self-care night. No work, no styling deadlines, no social media chaos. Just her, her skincare routine, and the illusion of peace.

It wasn’t until nearly midnight that she dug through the cushions and checked her phone.

72 unread messages. 12 missed calls. A notification from Spotify: Charles Leclerc has released new music: “mth97”

Her heart stalled.

She blinked once. Twice. Then sat up.

“No.”

She clicked the link. Piano, strings, and something quiet and aching filtered through her speakers. She sat frozen, halfway between disbelief and something dangerously close to awe.

mth97.

Nobody ever called her Mary. Unless it was her father. 

She opened instagram with shaking hands. 

There it was. 

 No tag. No caption. Just:

“for the muse.”

She blinked. Once. Twice.

Then whispered, to absolutely no one:

“Oh my god. He wrote me a song.”

She stared at the screen, heart pounding.

And then, of course, because she was Tessa Hamilton, she did the only thing that made sense:

***

Text Messages - Lewis Hamilton and Tessa Hamilton

Lewis: So… you good?

Tessa: NO, LEWIS. I AM NOT GOOD.

Lewis: I mean… it’s a nice song?

Tessa: LEWIS.

Lewis: It’s basically a love letter.

Tessa: YES, LEWIS, I AM AWARE.

Lewis: At least he used your initials instead of just calling it ‘Tessa’?

Tessa: THAT’S WORSE. NOW EVERYONE IS PIECEING IT TOGETHER IN REAL TIME.

Lewis: I did enjoy the five hours of peace before Twitter collectively lost their minds.

Tessa: THEY’RE STILL LOSING THEIR MINDS.

Lewis: So what are you gonna do about it?

Tessa: I DON’T KNOW, LEWIS. WHAT DOES ONE DO WHEN A FORMULA 1 DRIVER WRITES A SONG WITH YOUR NAME ON IT AND RELEASES IT TO MILLIONS OF PEOPLE?

Lewis: So, out of pure interest, on which step number are you now?

Tessa: THIS WASN’T PART OF THE PLAN.

***

Group Chat: Les Trois Frères

(Members: Charles, Arthur, Lorenzo)

Arthur: mth97 is beautiful, by the way.

Lorenzo: Yeah. Stunning, really. But also—

Arthur: —what the actual hell, Charles.

Charles: ???

Lorenzo: You wrote her a song. A full, emotionally devastating piano piece.

Arthur: With her initials and her birth year, you romantic bastard.

Lorenzo: We all thought you were going to ask her to dinner," not release a symphonic declaration of love to the entire world.

Charles: I panicked.

Arthur: How is writing and recording an original piano composition your idea of panicking.

Lorenzo: You literally booked studio time. You had it mixed. You uploaded it to Spotify.

Arthur: Just ask her out. Use your mouth. With words. Not music.

Charles: You don’t get it. She wears Louboutins to grocery shops. She once said my eyebrows needed discipline. I can’t just ask her out.

Lorenzo: You wrote her a song.

Arthur: She probably has it saved on three different playlists already.

Charles: Do you think so?

Arthur: Yes. Now go ask her if she wants to get dinner and listen to the non-Spotify version.

Lorenzo: And wear something she doesn’t hate. For the love of God, no more Off-White sneakers.

Charles: …She called them “a tragedy in suede.”

Arthur: She wasn’t wrong.

***

Text Messages - Charles Leclerc and Tessa Hamilton

Charles: So I was wondering. If maybe you’d like to get dinner with me sometime. Just us. Not as a stylist-client thing. As a… something else thing.

Charles: That was terrible. I can do better. Wait—ignore that first part.

Tessa: Charles.

Charles: Yes?

Tessa: Come over.

Charles: Now?

Tessa: Unless you plan on writing me another symphony in the meantime.

Charles: …no, I think I’ve used all my dramatic gestures for the week.

Tessa: Then get in the car.

Charles: Already putting on real pants.

Tessa: Don’t bother. You’ll be taking them off.

Charles: …I just tripped over Leo. Be there in ten.

***

Charles had barely knocked when the door swung open.

And there she was.

Barefoot in leggings and an oversized sweatshirt that definitely once belonged to Lewis—something from his 2015 collection, faded and soft and worn in at the sleeves. Her hair was tied up with a pencil, her eyeliner slightly smudged. She looked nothing like she did when she walked red carpets or turned paddocks into catwalks.

And she’d never looked more beautiful.

“Hi,” she said, simple, steady, as if he hadn’t just wrecked her entire week with a single song title.

“Hi,” Charles managed, except it came out half-breathless, like someone had kicked the air right out of his chest.

She tilted her head slightly, watching him. “You gonna come in? Or do you want to write me a sequel on the doorstep?”

That earned a soft laugh from him—nervous, adoring, a little unhinged. He stepped inside, heart hammering like he was back on the Monaco grid in the wet, and she closed the door behind him.

“Nice shirt,” he said, just to say something.

“Thanks. I had to change. Wasn’t going to let you see me in the ratty tank top I wrote your name on in 2019.”

Charles blinked. “You—what?”

“Nothing,” she said sweetly. “Come sit down.”

They ended up on her couch, facing each other, legs crossed, knees almost touching. Leo immediately climbed into Tessa’s lap, curling up like he belonged there. Like he always had.

That nearly undid him right there.

She was calm, composed—classic Tessa. But there was a softness in her eyes tonight. Something that felt like unspoken knowing.

Charles took a breath.

“I wrote that song for you,” he said, voice low, careful. “I know you know that. But I need to say it. I’ve had feelings for you for a long time. Years, probably. But I didn’t think— I didn’t think you’d ever see me like that.”

“I saw you walk into a wall, Charles,” she said, smiling. “It left an impression.”

He huffed a quiet laugh. “It’s always felt like you’re three steps ahead of me. You flirt like it’s a game, and I never knew if I was supposed to play or fold.”

“You were supposed to play,” she said gently. “But you wrote me music instead, which was honestly much hotter.”

He flushed. “So... this is real?”

“It’s real,” she said. “And if you don’t kiss me soon, I’m going to have to take charge again.”

“You always do,” he murmured.

And then he leaned in.

The kiss was soft, reverent—years of tension unfurling between them, slow and molten. She tasted like peppermint tea and something sweeter, something hers, and when her fingers curled into the collar of his shirt, Charles knew, in some quiet, unshakable way, that he was done for.

***

Text Messages - Lewis Hamilton and Tessa Hamilton

Tessa: Step 20 complete. 😌

Lewis: No. No no no. I don’t even want to know what step 20 was.

Tessa: He came over. I kissed him. Might’ve worn his hoodie to bed. Might still be wearing it.

Lewis: Tessa.

Tessa: He looked like he got hit by a truck made of feelings. It was adorable. He stammered. I swooned.

Lewis: You’re unwell.

Tessa: You moved to Ferrari. You started this. Now finish your porridge and accept that I’m going to marry your teammate. 😇

Lewis: Step 21 better be therapy. For me.

***

Group Chat: Les Leclercs

(Members: Charles, Arthur, Lorenzo, Pascale)

Charles: good morning family ☀️ just wanted to inform you all that I am now dating the most incredible woman alive

Arthur: you kissed her ONCE and suddenly you're writing sonnets in the group chat

Charles: not once. three times actually. and then we fell asleep watching her favorite 90s romcom I think this is what true love feels like 🥹

Lorenzo: please don’t say “true love” before 9am

Charles: you don’t get it she was wearing my hoodie leo is obsessed with her. i’m obsessed with her. we’re all obsessed.

Pascale: 🥰 finally you’ve been walking into walls over this girl since 2019 I was starting to worry

Arthur: do NOT encourage this

Charles: I WON. I GOT THE GIRL. I AM THE ROMANTIC LEAD.

Lorenzo: you wrote her a song, Charles. this was your only possible outcome.

Arthur: just don’t name your first child after a piano chord, I beg

Pascale: 🥰 can’t wait to meet her properly, Charles. invite her to Sunday lunch?

Charles: she already agreed 🥹 she said yes to everything

Arthur: bro you’re glowing through text this is unbearable

Charles: You’re all just jealous.

Arthur: yes. jealous of the man who walked into a wall and then waited five years to make a move.

***

June 2025

Twitter Thread: A Mystery solved

@/gridgossipgirl 🚨 Not to cause chaos but CHARLES LECLERC just showed up to his brother’s wedding… Holding hands with TESSA HAMILTON. YES. LEWIS HAMILTON’S SISTER. THEY MATCHED. HE OPENED THE CAR DOOR FOR HER. SHE FIXED HIS COLLAR ON THE WAY IN. I’m shaking.

@/formulafit I genuinely thought Charles was going to pine forever and write sad piano songs. Not turn up to a family wedding with his muse looking like that.

@/wagsandwins Tessa in that off-the-shoulder blue dress? Hair up in a silk ribbon? Charles in a matching pocket square?? That’s not “just friends.” That’s “we slow-danced in the kitchen at midnight” energy.

@/f1nobraincells The way Charles hasn’t said a single word about her in public but composed an entire SONG called mth97 and now he’s just there, holding her waist like it’s nothing— I need to lie down.

@/lewishstan4life LEWIS HAMILTON WATCHING HIS LITTLE SISTER DATE HIS TEAMMATE IS THE COMEDY ARC OF THE SEASON. Netflix better be rolling.

@/girlsonpole Tessa Hamilton said: "Why marry a prince when you can marry the Ferrari golden boy and wear Louboutins on Monaco’s cobblestones."

@/tifosibutmakeitfashion they’ve been soft-launching for YEARS and now they’re just… HERE? in broad daylight? at a family wedding?? this is offensive.

@/leclercbrainrot can’t believe the same man who once walked into a wall when he saw her in 2019 is now kissing her forehead on a dance floor like he composed her heart in 3/4 time

@/f1romance: CHARLES LECLERC WROTE A PIANO SONG CALLED MTH97 AND THEN SHOWED UP TO A WEDDING HOLDING HER HAND. HE GOT THE GIRL. HE REALLY GOT THE GIRL.

@/grandprixfeelings: so you're telling me... he WALKED INTO A WALL in 2019 when he first saw her and instead of flirting like a normal person he composed an emotionally devastating piano song and now they’re in love at his brother’s wedding THIS IS PEAK CINEMA

@/helmetblonde: I just want the confidence of a man who says “I’m not gonna ask her out. I’m gonna write her a symphonic piano track and hope she gets the hint.” AND SHE DID. AND IT WORKED.

***

[sebastianstansblog]

Mastermind 1/2

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Tessa Hamilton (Original Female Character)

Summary: Lewis Hamilton moves to Ferrari. Tessa Hamilton decides that Charles Leclerc is her future husband. Charles Leclerc is the willing victim of Lewis Hamilton’s scheming little sister. 

Warnings and Notes: 

This has been in the works since January. But I finally managed to finish it. Also, don't take it too seriously. This is not the way, one should probably go around to find a significant other.

As always big thanks to @llirawolf , who listens to me ramble

January 2024: 

Text Messages - Lewis Hamilton and Tessa Hamilton

Lewis: Before you see it on the news, I’m telling you first. I’m moving to Ferrari next year.

Tessa: OH. MY. GOD.

Lewis: I know, I know, it’s big—

Tessa: GREAT. That means I’m going to marry Charles Leclerc.

Lewis: …Excuse me?

Tessa: No, think about it. You being at Ferrari means I’ll be around him more than ever. Maximum exposure. Prime hunting grounds.

Lewis: Tessa, he is not a gazelle on the Serengeti.

Tessa: No, he’s a terrified little deer, and I am a strategic apex predator.

Lewis: You are actually insane.

Tessa: No, I am a woman with a PLAN.

Lewis: Oh my God.

Lewis: You cannot seriously be planning a multi-phase operation to marry Charles Leclerc just because I signed with Ferrari.

Tessa: I can and I am.

Lewis: You need therapy.

Tessa: No, I need a Ferrari WAG pass and a Monegasque husband.

Lewis: You are an actual menace.

Tessa: And you, my dear brother, have just given me the greatest gift of all—ACCESS.

Lewis: I have made a mistake.

Tessa: No, Charles has. He just doesn’t know it yet.

***

Instagram Post:  @/gridgossip

 @/gridgossip: 🚨 BREAKING: Lewis Hamilton is officially moving to Ferrari in 2025! The seven-time world champion will be donning the red suit next season, shaking up the grid in one of the biggest transfers in F1 history. But let’s be real… the REAL question is: Does this mean Ferrari will finally let Tessa Hamilton design the team merch?! 👀🔥

Top Comments:

@/paddockfashionfiles: TESSA HAMILTON ERA AT FERRARI?? RED NEVER LOOKED HOTTER.

@/gridgirlsunite: If we don’t get a Ferrari collection that actually SLAPS, what is even the POINT.

@/mercedesmerchflop: So you’re telling me Mercedes NEVER let Tessa design a collab but Ferrari might??? I’m in mourning.

@/fastlanefits: Ferrari x Tessa Hamilton x Louboutin WHEN?? Give us stylish pit crew boots. I’m BEGGING.

@/scuderiaferrari: We’re listening... 🤭

@/fashionablyinF1: Ferrari, if you mess this up, you will never know peace.

@/wherestessanow: Tessa in custom Ferrari fits every weekend??? Oh, the SERVE is coming.

@/takeallmymoney: Ferrari Store employees watching this unfold knowing they’re about to sell out for the first time ever: 😰😰😰

@/theredrevival: Ferrari's biggest win in years isn't Lewis—it’s Tessa finally fixing the damn merch.

***

Instagram Post:  @/lewishamilton

@/lewishamilton:  Excited for this next chapter. Forza Ferrari. ❤️🔥 #LH44 #ScuderiaFerrari

Top Comments:

@/tessahamilton: Guess I better start practicing my Italian 🇮🇹👠

@/f1fanatic99: THE REAL QUESTION IS… does this mean @/tessahamilton is finally going to design Ferrari merch??? Because we need it IMMEDIATELY.

@/fastandfashionable: Mercedes fumbled by never letting Tessa cook, but Ferrari can right this historical wrong.

@/gridgossip: FERRARI X TESSA HAMILTON COLLAB WHEN? DROP THE LOUIS VUITTON FIRE SUITS WHILE WE’RE AT IT.

@/paddockstyle: If we don’t get a Ferrari jacket that actually slaps, what is even the point???

@/highheelsandhighoctane: If I don’t see Louboutin-stamped pit crew boots next season, I’m gonna be disappointed.

@/charles_leclerc: This is gonna be fun.

@/mercedesamgf1fan: I’m not even sad about Lewis leaving anymore, I’m just devastated we never got a Tessa-designed Mercedes collection.

***

Tessa Hamilton: The Most Influential Woman in the Paddock Isn’t a Driver or a WAG—She’s a Stylist

By Jessica Hepburn

If there’s one thing Tessa Hamilton understands, it’s presence.

She has built a career around it—curating, refining, and amplifying the presence of one of Formula 1’s most iconic figures: her brother, Lewis Hamilton. For nearly a decade, she has shaped the visual identity of a seven-time world champion, making the paddock as much of a runway as it is a racetrack. Yet, while Lewis’ style evolution is one of the most analyzed in modern sport, Tessa herself has quietly become just as influential.

Not that she does anything quietly.

The moment she steps into the café for our interview—black Balenciaga sunglasses perched on her nose, a perfectly oversized coat cinched at the waist, and, of course, a pair of red-bottomed heels—it’s evident that she is every bit the style powerhouse people claim her to be.

“I don’t do anything halfway,” she says with a smirk, slipping off her sunglasses. “If I’m going to do something, it’s going to be done properly.”

That philosophy has extended far beyond her own wardrobe. In many ways, Tessa has been the architect behind the current era of Formula 1 fashion. When Lewis arrived in the paddock in the 2000s, driver fashion was an afterthought—polo shirts, team-issued merch, and, at best, a well-tailored suit for FIA Gala night. Now, the paddock is a global fashion spectacle, and Lewis is its undisputed king.

But make no mistake: Tessa is the kingmaker.

She shrugs when I bring up her influence, but she doesn’t deny it. “I give him the options. He wears them well. That’s teamwork.”

But it isn’t just Lewis anymore. Other drivers have started paying attention, dipping their toes into high fashion, collaborating with designers, and using their personal style as an extension of their brand. When I suggest that she’s responsible for this shift, she simply smiles.

“I think people are realizing they can bring their full selves into this sport,” she says. “It’s not just about what happens on track. You walk into a room, and before you’ve even said a word, your presence has told a story. Why wouldn’t you want to control that narrative?”

Tessa controls hers better than anyone. Despite not being a driver, not being a WAG,  she has become one of the most closely watched figures in the paddock. Her outfits are dissected in the same way the drivers' on-track performances are—fan accounts track her every look, fashion blogs break down her choices, and luxury brands have taken notice.

“I don’t think about it that much,” she claims. “I just wear what I like.”

That may be true, but what she likes—sharp tailoring, bold prints, architectural outerwear, and an ever-present pair of Louboutins—has shaped an entire aesthetic. One that is somehow both untouchable and deeply aspirational.

With Lewis’ impending move to Ferrari, I ask if her approach to styling him will change. After all, Ferrari has its own legacy, its own aesthetic history.

She tilts her head, as if considering it. Then she grins.

“Ferrari is historic,” she acknowledges. “But Lewis is Lewis.”

And Tessa Hamilton? She’s the one making sure we never forget it.

***

Twitter Thread: Lewis Hamilton to Ferrari… and Charles Leclerc’s Crush?? 

@/F1Tea:Lewis Hamilton to Ferrari is HUGE, but let’s talk about the real headline here: Charles Leclerc has been painfully down bad for Lewis’ sister for YEARS. How is this man supposed to SURVIVE?? A thread 🧵⬇️

@/F1Tea:📍2019 Pre-Race Grid Walk Tessa: smiles at CharlesCharles: panics so hard he walks into a wall

[Attached: GIF of Charles physically recoiling and falling over]

@/F1Tea: 📍2020 Paddock Footage Tessa walks past. Charles turns his head so fast I’m surprised he didn’t get whiplash. Bro was SUMMONED.

[Attached: GIF of Charles doing a full double take while pretending he wasn’t staring]

@/F1Tea:📍2021 Monaco GP Tessa puts a hand on his arm while talking. Charles FORGETS HOW TO FUNCTION. He just stares at it. Brain blue-screened.

[Attached: Screenshot of Charles blinking rapidly at his own arm like it’s a foreign object]

@/F1Tea:📍2021 Interview: Reporter: “Would you ever date someone from the paddock?” Tessa: smirks “I like a man in red.” Charles in the background: chokes on his water

@/F1Tea:📍2022 Some Party in Monaco: She sits next to him during dinner. Charles, the most naturally confident man alive, FORGETS HOW TO USE A FORK.

[Attached: Video of Charles dropping his utensil and staring at it like it betrayed him]

@/F1Tea:📍2020 Post-Quali Interviews Reporter: “How do you feel about the race?” Her: walks into frameCharles: completely loses his train of thought mid-sentence

[Attached: Video of Charles staring blankly at the camera before shaking his head and mumbling something incoherent]

@/F1Tea:📍2023 Team Photo Day She: walks by and casually calls him “mon chéri”Charles: visibly short-circuitsLewis Hamilton in the background: crying laughing

[Attached: GIF of Charles visibly malfunctioning and Lewis barely holding it together]

@/F1Tea:The way this man has been fighting for his LIFE for YEARS and she KNOWS IT.

[Attached: GIF of her smirking directly at the camera like she’s aware of her power]

@/F1Tea:Final thoughts:

Lewis to Ferrari is HUGE.

Charles and his years-long crush are about to be front and center.

Tifosi, prepare for chaos.

@/F1Tea:Pray for Charles. But also? Don’t. This is going to be HILARIOUS.

@/LewisH44: Charles Leclerc vs. Flirting: 0-1000.

↳@/F1Memes: He is not winning this battle.

@/F1Chaos: This man is going to MARRY her and still be flustered every time she calls him “mon chéri.”

↳@/FerrariFan98: He’s already cooked. It’s just a matter of time.

@/LewisH44: For the love of god, someone put him out of his misery.

↳@/F1Chaos: Pray for him. But also? Don’t. This is hilarious.

@/TifosiTears:It’s honestly incredible that he’s still functioning as a professional athlete with this level of psychological warfare happening.

↳@/FerrariFan98: Give it six months. She’s winning this battle.

↳@/TifosiTears: She already won. He just doesn’t realize it yet.

@/FerrariFan98: Anyway, Charles Leclerc: F1’s fastest driver, but the slowest man alive when it comes to romance.

↳@/PitLaneDrama: One day, he’ll realize. And on that day, we’ll all celebrate.

***

Twitter Thread: Does Tessa Hamilton Own Any Shoes That Aren’t Louboutins?

@/F1GossipQueen: I need someone to do a full investigation because I swear this woman wears nothing but Louboutins.

↳@/F1GossipQueen: Paddock fit? Immaculate. Ankles? Probably reinforced with titanium.

[Attached: Pic of Tessa at a race weekend, effortlessly stepping out of the Mercedes garage in sky-high red-soled stilettos.]

@/F1GossipQueen: Tessa Hamilton walking on literal rocks in 6-inch Louboutins like it’s smooth pavement. Meanwhile, I almost sprained my ankle in sneakers.

[Attached: Clip of her walking across gravel at a circuit without a single misstep.]

@/F1GossipQueen: You can see the moment Charles starts calculating the probability of her breaking an ankle.

[Attached: Zoomed-in screenshot of Charles looking down at her heels mid-conversation, visibly concerned.]

@/FerrariFan98:: She probably sleeps in them. ↳@/tessahamilton: That’s classified information.

@/pitlanedrama: We need a full Louboutin sponsorship at this point. ↳@/TifosiTears: I fully support this.

@/F1Chaos: I still don’t understand how she doesn’t fall. ↳@/tessahamilton: Balance. Elegance. Superior genetics. (Mostly practice.)

***

Group Chat: Les Trois Frères

(Members: Charles, Arthur, Lorenzo)

Lorenzo: So, Lewis to Ferrari… big news.

Arthur: Yeah, yeah, history being made, blah blah blah—let’s talk about what REALLY matters.

Lorenzo: Charles, how does it feel knowing you’re about to spend an entire season making a fool of yourself in front of Tessa Hamilton?

Charles: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Arthur: Oh, REALLY?

Lorenzo: Let’s rewind to 2019, shall we? The first time you saw her in the paddock.

Arthur: A day that will live in infamy.

Charles: Drop it.

Lorenzo: You made eye contact with her for three seconds and immediately walked into a wall.

Arthur: A solid concrete wall.

Lorenzo: Man hit that thing like it owed him money.

Arthur: She said, “Nice to meet you,” and you said, “Oui, you too,” and then—BANG.

Lorenzo: Flat on your ass.

Charles: IT WAS A BADLY PLACED WALL.

Arthur: It’s been there since 2008.

Lorenzo: It did not move, Charles.

Arthur: No, but YOU did. Straight into it.

Charles: I am ignoring this.

Arthur: You’re ignoring physics too, apparently.

Lorenzo: Can’t wait for 2025. If you walked into a wall in 2019, what’s next? Accidentally setting yourself on fire? Falling into the Ferrari garage?

Arthur: Man’s gonna crash a simulator if she so much as breathes in his direction.

Charles: I HATE YOU BOTH.

Arthur: Not as much as that wall hated you.

Lorenzo: RIP Charles’ dignity. 1997-2019.

Lorenzo: So just to recap—

You’ve been in love with her since forever.

You can barely function when she flirts with you.

Lewis has definitely noticed.

Now Lewis is your teammate.

Arthur: THIS IS A NIGHTMARE FOR YOU BUT COMEDY GOLD FOR ME.

Charles: I hate you both.

Lorenzo: No, but seriously. What’s your game plan?

Arthur: His what? Charles has had one strategy for years: PANIC.

Charles: I DO NOT PANIC.

***

Group Chat: Les Leclercs

(Members: Charles, Arthur, Lorenzo, Pascale)

Pascale: Oh, I saw the news! Congratulations, Charles! Ferrari and Lewis together!

Pascale: What an exciting time for you. ❤️

Arthur: I think Charles is experiencing a different kind of excitement.

Pascale: ?

Charles: ARTHUR I SWEAR TO GOD.

Arthur: Maman, did you know that Charles has been in love with—

Charles: STOP.

Pascale: Oh, mon chéri, we all know.

Charles: …

Arthur: [Attached: GIF of a man screaming into a pillow]

January 2025

Text Messages - Lewis Hamilton and Tessa Hamilton

Lewis: Tessa.

Tessa: Big bro!

Lewis: I need you to do me a favor.

Tessa: Of course, anything!

Lewis: Do NOT terrorize my new teammate.

Tessa: Oh, Lewis.

Tessa: It’s far, far too late for that.

Lewis: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

Tessa: I just finished writing my 27-step plan to make Charles Leclerc marry me.

Tessa: THE TRAP IS SET.

Lewis: Jesus Christ.

Lewis: I don’t even want to ask… but what’s step 1?

Tessa: Step 1: You signing with Ferrari.

Lewis: YOU WERE PLANNING THIS BEFORE I EVEN ANNOUNCED IT???

Tessa: I was manifesting.

Lewis: Tessa. Be honest. Did you astral project into Fred Vasseur’s dreams to make this happen?

Tessa: I will neither confirm nor deny.

Lewis: I have been used. I have been played. I have been set up. I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPORTIVE.

Tessa: I am! But also, I am winning.

Lewis: This is unhinged. What’s step 2?

Tessa: Win over Leo.

Lewis: THE DOG?????

Tessa: If I have Leo’s loyalty, Charles will crumble in weeks.

Lewis: He’s had a crush on you for years, he was gonna crumble anyway.

Tessa: Exactly. But this way it’s strategic.

Lewis: This is the most terrifying thing I have ever witnessed.

Tessa: Oh, big bro. This is just the beginning.

***

Arthur had been smirking at him all morning.

It was starting to get on Charles’s nerves.

They were standing near the pit lane in Fiorano, watching the final preparations for Lewis’s first run in Ferrari red. The atmosphere was electric, the excitement tangible, but Arthur? Arthur was too busy side-eyeing Charles like he was in on some kind of joke.

“What?” Charles finally snapped.

Arthur’s smirk deepened. “Nothing.”

“That is not a ‘nothing’ face,” Charles said suspiciously.

Arthur shrugged, but the knowing look in his eyes didn’t waver. “I just think today will be… interesting for you.”

Charles narrowed his eyes. “Arthur—”

And then, a car pulled up.

It wasn’t one of Ferrari’s, nor was it particularly flashy, but somehow it felt like everyone turned toward it.

Arthur leaned in slightly. “Ah, et voilà.”

Charles frowned at him. Then, the door opened.

Red-bottomed stilettos hit the pavement first. Of course, Louboutins. Because of course she wore designer stilettos to Fiorano. Then, long legs wrapped in an effortlessly chic black coat. Then, dark sunglasses pushed up into perfectly styled hair.

Charles’s brain stalled.

Oh no.

Tessa Hamilton stepped out like she was arriving at Paris Fashion Week, not Ferrari’s test track.

She turned, gaze sweeping over the paddock, and Charles could feel the exact moment she noticed him.

A slow smile curled at her lips.

Arthur made a quiet sound of amusement. “And so it begins.”

Charles turned to glare at him. “You knew.”

Arthur barely held back his laughter. “I had a feeling you were about to have a very bad day.”

Charles groaned.

Arthur clapped a hand on his shoulder, voice dripping with false sympathy. “Try not to walk into a wall this time.”

It happened in mere seconds.

One moment, Leo was loyally sitting at Charles’s feet, surveying the scene with his usual sharp focus. The next, his ears perked up, tail started wagging, and before Charles could react, his dog had bolted across the paddock.

Straight to her.

“Leo,” she called in that smooth, honeyed voice of hers, and that was it. Game over.

Leo launched himself at her, paws on her coat, face nuzzling into her neck like they’d known each other for years.

“Oh, aren’t you just perfect?” Tessa cooed, crouching effortlessly despite the heels, her manicured fingers scratching behind his ears. “You’re such a handsome boy.”

Charles blinked. His brain had fully short-circuited.

“I—he—he doesn’t usually—”

Tessa looked up at him, one perfectly arched brow lifting. “Doesn’t usually what?”

“Like people,” Charles finished weakly.

Tessa laughed. A soft, melodic sound that sent something warm and terrifying down his spine.

“Well, that’s clearly not true,” she said, as Leo let out a dramatic sigh and melted further into her touch. “He’s got excellent instincts.”

Charles opened his mouth, then shut it again.

“Mon dieu,” Arthur whispered under his breath, but Charles heard the amusement.

Lewis walked past, giving Tessa a knowing glance before sighing dramatically at Charles. “The trap has been set.”

Charles frowned. “What trap?”

Lewis just patted his shoulder like he was already mourning him. “You’ll see.”

Meanwhile, Tessa stood, and flashed Charles a slow, wicked smile.

Leo, traitorous and lovesick, sat at her feet, staring at her with full, adoring devotion.

Charles swallowed.

Oh, he was in so much trouble.

***

Text Messages - Lewis Hamilton and Tessa Hamilton

Tessa: LEWIS. HE LOVES ME. 

Tessa: STEP 2 IS DONE.

Tessa: LEO SAT IN MY LAP.

Tessa: HE SNUGGLED INTO ME.

Tessa: HE GAVE CHARLES A LOOK LIKE “yeah, she’s mine now.”

Tessa: LEO CHOSE ME.

Lewis: …Okay but like.

Lewis: Did you not expect Leo to love you???

Tessa: NO???

Tessa: I THOUGHT HE’D BE LOYAL TO CHARLES.

Tessa: LIKE A NORMAL DOG.

Lewis: Girl.

Lewis: You wear Louboutins every day.

Lewis: You have the vibe of someone who would carry a tiny expensive dog in a designer bag.

Lewis: Leo took one look at you and went “yes. That one.”

***

Group Chat: Leclerc Boys

(Members: Charles, Arthur, Lorenzo)

Lorenzo: How’s Fiorano?

Charles: I am never recovering from this.

Lorenzo: …From what.

Charles: Leo has abandoned me.

Lorenzo: Okay, what.

Charles: Tessa arrived, and Leo IMMEDIATELY sprinted to her like she was the love of his life.

Arthur: HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

Charles: This is not funny.

Arthur: No, actually, it was the funniest thing that has ever happened.

Lorenzo: You’re upset that your dog likes her?

Charles: No. I’m upset that my dog took one look at her and decided that I no longer exist.

Charles: He rolled onto his back. Exposed his belly. Let her rub it.

Arthur: He doesn’t even do that for you.

Charles: I KNOW.

Arthur: Your dog has better game than you.

Charles: That is NOT the point.

Lorenzo: It kind of is.

Charles: She called him the most handsome boy in the world.

Arthur: And?

Charles: SHE WAS LOOKING AT LEO WHEN SHE SAID IT.

Arthur: I can’t breathe.

Lorenzo: Charles. Please tell me you were normal about this.

Charles: I was composed.

Arthur: Okay, so when do we get the footage of you walking into another wall?

Charles: I DID NOT.

Arthur: I don’t believe you.

Lorenzo: I don’t believe you either.

Charles: I hate both of you.

Arthur: Leo wins. Tessa wins. You, unfortunately, are in P3.

Charles: I AM BLOCKING YOU.

***

Twitter Thread: Lewis Hamilton at Fiorano

@/F1TeaUpdatesLewis Hamilton’s first day in red at Fiorano. Historic moment. The GOAT in a Ferrari.

📸: Lewis getting into the car 📸: Lewis on track 📸: Tessa Hamilton looking completely unbothered in ridiculous high-heeled boots

@/FerrariFangirl16I respect Lewis, I do. But can we talk about how his sister just showed up in 6-inch Louboutins to an actual test day???

@/GridGossipHer entire brand is looking better than the drivers at all times, and I, for one, support this agenda.

@/TifosiTearsTessa Hamilton is casually standing in Fiorano in a coat that probably costs more than my rent, looking like she is the one about to debut for Ferrari.

@/PaddockPrincessForget Ferrari’s on-track performance. The real question is: will they finally let Tessa design the merch?

@/LeoLeclercFanNot to be dramatic, but Charles' dog has officially switched teams.

📸: Tessa sitting on a pit wall, cuddling Leo like he’s her dog now

@/ArthurLeclercUpdatesLeo, blink twice if you need help.

@/Charles16ForeverCharles is so doomed. His own dog has sided with the enemy.

@/WagsAndWealthTessa watching her brother drive a Ferrari while wrapped in an expensive coat, cuddling a dog, standing in impossibly high heels… she’s so unserious and yet so powerful.

@/F1MemesPOV: You’re Charles Leclerc watching your dog betray you in real time.

📸: Charles looking completely defeated in the background while Leo cuddles Tessa

@/OversteerAndDramaLeo to Charles: Sorry, I only take belly rubs from real winners.

***

Twitter Thread: #AskTessa

@/TessaHamilton: Killing time before my next fitting. Let’s do this—fashion, styling, life dilemmas? Fire away. #AskTessa

—

@/FashionF1Fan: Full name?? 👀

↳ @/TessaHamilton: Mary Theresa Hamilton. But if you call me Mary, I will block you.

—

@/GridGossip: Birthday?

↳ @/TessaHamilton: November 2, 1997. Scorpio supremacy.

—

@/McLarenChaosRandom fact about yourself?

↳ @/TessaHamilton: I studied in Florence for a few months and considered running away to become a full-time Italian.

↳ @/FerrariNation: Ferrari was your destiny.

↳ @/TessaHamilton: No, espresso was my destiny.

—

@/F1MemesDaily: How tall are you?

↳ @/TessaHamilton: 5’8” but spiritually 6’2” when wearing my best heels.

—

@/ScuderiaStyle: Favorite thing in your wardrobe?

↳ @/TessaHamilton: Right now? A ridiculous red dress I will wear to an F1 event. But also a vintage leather jacket I borrowed indefinitely from Lewis.

↳ @/LewisHamilton: Stole.

↳ @/TessaHamilton: Borrowed indefinitely.

—

@/F1Romantics: Would you ever date a Ferrari driver?

↳ @/TessaHamilton: That’s a very specific question.

—

@/TifosiStyle: What’s a fashion trend you hate?

↳ @/TessaHamilton: Men wearing sneakers with suits.

—

@/weddingmeltdown: Summer wedding. No dress code. I need to look effortlessly stunning. Help.

↳@/TessaHamilton: The key is controlled elegance. A flowy dress that moves, statement earrings, and shoes that won’t sink into the grass. If it’s a beach wedding, no stilettos unless you enjoy suffering.

—

@/heels4life: Are high heels really worth the pain?

↳@/TessaHamilton: Always. The power of a good pair of stilettos outweighs minor suffering.

↳ @/lewishamilton: You’re already tall.

↳ @/TessaHamilton: And you are not.

↳ @/lewishamilton: I’m blocking you.

—

@/WAGsAndWealth: You’ve worked with so many designers—if you could style ANY driver, who would it be?

↳@/TessaHamilton: Charles. No hesitation. He has so much potential. Let me elevate him.

—

@/CharlesStan16: MA’AM. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN.

↳@/TessaHamilton: It means he owns too many plain white t-shirts. I’m simply trying to help.

—

@/ScuderiaUpdates: We saw you at Fiorano with Leo!! Does he like you??

↳@/TessaHamilton: Leo is my favorite Leclerc. He likes me so much that Charles is starting to get jealous.

—

@/gridfashionwatch: Do you plan your race weekend outfits in advance?

↳@/TessaHamilton: Roughly. I aim for a balance of power dressing and controlled chaos. Also, if I think Lewis would sigh at me for wearing it, I definitely wear it.

↳ @/lewishamilton: I knew it.

—

@/gridfashion: Best-dressed driver on the grid?

↳@/TessaHamilton: I’ll be diplomatic and say… they all try. Some more successfully than others.

↳ @/lewishamilton: Just say me.

↳ @/TessaHamilton: Obviously. But we already knew that.

—

@/prancinghorses: How was your first Ferrari experience at Fiorano?

↳@/TessaHamilton: The cars? Stunning. The espresso? Life-changing. Watching my brother drive for Ferrari? Emotional.

—

@/fashioninsider: One piece of fashion advice you swear by?

↳@/TessaHamilton: Wear what makes you feel powerful. Clothes are confidence.

—

@/redteam: Does Ferrari have better team kit than Mercedes?

@/TessaHamilton: Look, I’m officially neutral, but let’s just say red is more wearable than silver.

—

@/speedandstyle: Will we finally get good Ferrari merch now?

↳@/TessaHamilton: I can neither confirm nor deny that I am working on it.

↳ @/charles_leclerc: Yes, please.

—

@/paddockstyle: How do you always look so effortlessly put together in the paddock?

↳@/TessaHamilton: Strategic outfit planning. Also, sheer stubbornness.

—

@/paddockcouture: What are your top three wardrobe essentials?

@/TessaHamilton: 1) A perfectly tailored blazer, 2) Statement shoes that could double as self-defense weapons, 3) Sunglasses big enough to hide from bad decisions.

—

@/scuderiafashion: What’s your biggest styling tip for guys?

@/TessaHamilton: Fit is EVERYTHING. A well-fitted €50 jacket looks better than a badly fitted €5000 one. Also, don’t be afraid of color. Life’s too short for boring clothes.

—

@/turnoneglam: What’s a fashion trend you wish would die?

@/TessaHamilton: Tiny pockets on women’s clothing. What are we supposed to fit in there? A single almond?

—

@/runwaytorace: What’s your ultimate styling rule?

↳@/TessaHamilton: If you love it, wear it. Confidence makes anything look good. Except crocs. Some things can’t be saved.

—

@/chicanechic: Thoughts on men in jewelry?

↳@/TessaHamilton: Absolutely yes. More rings, more chains, more effort in general. Jewelry is for everyone, gentlemen.

—

@/apexaesthetic: Dream F1-themed fashion collaboration?

↳@/TessaHamilton: Something that doesn’t involve slapping a logo on a basic hoodie and calling it a day.

—

@/turnonechic: What’s your biggest fashion ick?

↳@/TessaHamilton: Clothes that don’t fit. Tailoring exists. Use it.

—

@/paddockchic: If you could only wear one designer for the rest of your life, who would it be?

↳@/TessaHamilton: I refuse to live in a world with only one designer. That’s dystopian.

—

@/gridglam: What’s your most controversial fashion opinion?

↳@/TessaHamilton: Just because it’s designer doesn’t mean it looks good.

—

@/softlaunchspeed: Any truth to the rumor that you’re secretly styling a certain Ferrari driver that’s not your brother?

↳@/TessaHamilton: If I were, you’d know. Because he’d look better.

↳ @/arthur_leclerc: Devastating.

—

@/gridstyle: Best shoe investment?

↳@/TessaHamilton: A classic black pump. Timeless. Versatile. Makes you feel unstoppable.

***

Charles had been in plenty of awkward situations before.

Spinning out in front of the entire grid? Done that.

Getting caught on a hot mic complaining about Ferrari’s strategy? A yearly tradition.

Ripping the seams of his racing suit in the middle of a photoshoot?

That was a new one.

The worst part wasn’t the actual tear—it was her.

Lewis Hamilton’s younger sister. His stylist. The woman he had been secretly, stupidly infatuated with for years.

Tessa stood a few feet away, arms crossed, head tilted, a slow, amused smile spreading across her face as she took in the damage.

“Charles,” she drawled, “why is there a gaping hole in your suit?”

Charles swallowed. His brain scrambled for an excuse. “I, uh—”

Her smirk widened. “You flexed, didn’t you?”

“No!”

She arched a brow.

“…Maybe a little.”

She laughed, shaking her head as she grabbed her emergency sewing kit. “Alright, Hercules, let’s fix you up before someone from Ferrari has a heart attack.”

She knelt on the couch, threading a needle with effortless precision. Charles, meanwhile, stood awkwardly, hyper-aware of everything—the way she bit her lip in concentration, the way her sleeves were rolled up to her elbows, the way she made even something as mundane as sewing look hot.

Then she patted the spot next to her. “Sit.”

He hesitated. “Do I have to?”

She gave him a look. “Unless you want me to accidentally stab you, yes.”

He sat.

She tugged at the torn fabric, assessing the damage. Her fingers brushed his side, and Charles nearly flinched. He was suddenly very aware of how close they were, of how her perfume smelled faintly of vanilla and something floral, of how her knee pressed lightly against his.

If she noticed his internal struggle, she didn’t let on. Instead, she clicked her tongue. “Honestly, I don’t know how you managed this. It’s like your muscles decided to revolt all at once.”

Charles let out a weak chuckle. “Maybe I should stop training so much.”

She grinned, sharp and teasing. “Or maybe you just like having me stitch you back together.”

His brain short-circuited.

She kept sewing, utterly unfazed, while Charles sat there, desperately trying not to combust. His heart hammered as she leaned in, her breath ghosting against his collarbone as she focused on her stitches.

“So…” she mused, tone light and mischievous, “if I sew you into this suit, does that mean I get to keep you?”

Charles made an undignified noise. “W-What?”

She glanced up, all faux innocence. “What? Seems like a fair trade. I fix your suit, and in return, I get a Charles Leclerc of my very own.”

His mouth opened. Then closed. Then opened again. “I—I don’t think that’s how it works.”

She smirked. “Shame.”

He swore his face had never been hotter.

A few more stitches and a playful pat to his newly mended suit later, she sat back, admiring her handiwork. “All done.”

Charles let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “Merci.”

She grinned, tapping his chest lightly. “Try not to rip it again, hmm? Unless, of course, you want an excuse for me to put my hands on you.”

Charles, very predictably, short-circuited again.

***

Instagram Post:  @/ScuderiaFerrari

@/ScuderiaFerrari: Some things never change… @/Charles_Leclerc still finding new ways to stress us out. Luckily, we have @/TessaHamilton to save the day. 🧵✨

📹: Video of Tessa expertly sewing it back together while Charles sits, looking awkward.

Comments: 

@/charles_leclerc: …I swear this wasn’t my fault.

↳ @/tessahamilton: It was literally your muscles and your bad decisions. Own it.

↳ @/arthur_leclerc: Bro really Hulked out mid-photoshoot.

↳ @/charles_leclerc: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

@/lewishamilton: Ferrari better be paying her extra for this.

↳ @/tessahamilton: Oh, I’m invoicing them, don’t worry.

↳ @/scuderiaferrari: This was not in the budget.

@/wagsandwealth: Tessa Hamilton mending Charles' suit like she’s the lead in a regency romance novel. We are witnessing history.

@/oversteeranddrama: "Get you a girl who can do both" but it’s Charles finding out Tessa can style a grid AND sew his race suit back together like a pro.

@/f1gossip: Charles went from "I have to be professional, she’s my teammate’s sister" to "what if I rip another seam?" real quick.

@/gridtea: Charles has been in love with her since at least 2019, and we’re just watching him spiral deeper. It’s beautiful.

@/f1fansunited: Tessa is really out here fixing his suit while wearing five-inch Louboutins. This woman is undefeated.

@/ferrarination: I need Ferrari to put her on payroll properly because if Charles breaks another suit mid-season, we all know she’ll be the one handling it.

***

Text Messages - Arthur Leclerc and Tessa Hamilton

Arthur: Look, I’m only going to say this once.

Tessa: Oh, this feels serious. Should I sit down?

Arthur: I am begging you—DO NOT play with Charles.

Tessa: Excuse me?

Arthur: I know you like to mess with him. I know you enjoy watching him turn into a nervous wreck every time you breathe in his direction.

Arthur: But please. I’m telling you as his brother.

Arthur: Do. Not. Play. With. Him.

Tessa: Arthur, what are you talking about?

Arthur: He is actually in love with you.

Tessa: …

Tessa: Bold claim.

Arthur: It is not a claim. It is a FACT.

Arthur: The man has been down BAD for you for YEARS.

Arthur: I have witnessed him have full-on existential crises because you touched his arm for 0.3 seconds.

Arthur: Do you know how PAINFUL it is to watch my fully grown brother malfunction because you walked into a room in Louboutins?

Arthur: I have suffered.

Tessa: Okay, but like, in my defense… it’s funny.

Arthur: TESSA.

Tessa: Alright, alright, I hear you.

Tessa: …So theoretically, if I were to also be in love with him, what would you recommend as my next move?

Arthur: First of all, I need a moment to recover from that sentence.

Arthur: Second—PLEASE JUST DATE HIM ALREADY. HE IS AT HIS LIMIT. HE CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

Tessa: I don’t know, I think I should let him sweat a little longer…

Arthur: YOU ARE A MENACE TO THIS FAMILY.

Tessa: And yet, you still text me first. 🥰

Arthur: I hate you.

Tessa: No, you love me. Almost as much as your brother does.

***

February 2025

Charles Leclerc on Ferrari an Lewis Hamilton

Motorsport Weekly – February 2024

Interviewer: Charles, this is a huge year for you. New season, new regulations, and, of course, a new teammate. What’s it been like working with Lewis so far?

Charles Leclerc: It’s been great. Lewis brings so much experience to the team, and his way of working is very methodical. He’s incredibly focused, and I think that’s going to push all of us to another level.

Interviewer: Have there been any surprises about working with him so far?

Charles: Not really. I mean, we all know who Lewis is, how he works, how successful he’s been. I knew it was going to be intense. But at the same time, he’s very open—he shares a lot, and he’s been great to work with.

Interviewer: It’s been a big change for him, moving to Ferrari. But it’s also a change for you, adjusting to a new teammate after so many years with Carlos. How’s the dynamic?

Charles: It’s very different, but in a good way. Lewis has a lot of experience, and I think that helps me grow as a driver. And, well… he’s been through a lot in his career, so he knows how to handle every situation. It’s been really interesting to learn from that.

Interviewer: Has he given you any unexpected advice?

Charles: [laughs] Not yet, but I’m sure he will at some point.

Interviewer: Okay, I have to ask… How’s it been having Tessa Hamilton around Ferrari now?

Charles: [chokes on his water bottle, coughs] Sorry—what?

Interviewer: [laughing] You heard me.

Charles: [sighs] Okay, fine. Yes, she’s been around more because of Lewis. Yes, I have seen her. No, I don’t have anything else to say.

Interviewer: That sounded very rehearsed.

Charles: I have learned that when it comes to Tessa, no matter what I say, people will talk.

Interviewer: Because you walked into a wall the first time you met her?

Charles: [immediately defensive] That was years ago!

Interviewer: 2019, right?

Charles: [mutters] …Yes.

Interviewer: You saw her, got distracted, and walked straight into a wall. So, when she showed up at Fiorano, you must have been nervous.

Charles: [quickly] No.

Interviewer: No?

Charles: No.

Interviewer: Not even a little?

Charles: [hesitates] …I was fine.

Interviewer: Witnesses say you were only fine after she picked up your dog and he instantly fell in love with her.

Charles: [grumbling] Leo is a traitor.

Interviewer: You’ve had Leo for years, and yet he spent the entire day curled up with Tessa while you drove.

Charles: I know. I saw the pictures. Everyone showed me the pictures.Can we move on, please?

Interviewer: Of course. But just know the internet is very invested.

Charles: Unfortunately, I am aware.

***

Twitter Thread: Charles Leclerc’s Motorsport Weekly Interview & the Tessa Discourse

@/F1GossipQueenCharles Leclerc did a new GQ interview and somehow managed to say a lot while saying nothing at all. Let’s discuss. 🧵

@/FerrariForLife: The man was totally normal until they brought up Tessa. Then suddenly he forgot how to form complete answers.

@/TifosiTears: The way he was trying so hard to be casual when they brought up her boots and Leo. Like sir, you’re not fooling anyone.

@/GridGossip: “We had met before.” Sir. We all know. You walked into a wall in 2019.

@/PolePositionBabe:  Notice how he didn’t deny the betrayal when the interviewer said Leo picked Tessa over him. He’s still hurt.

@/ScuderiaSimp:  Ferrari needs to put out another media training session for this man because he is NOT built for deflecting romance questions.

@/FastLapFrenzy: Charles trying to act normal when they mention Tessa but you know he’s sweating internally.

@/LightsOutAndAway: The man has won multiple races under pressure but put him in a room and ask him about Tessa Hamilton and suddenly he’s buffering.

@/LeclercNation: “That’s all I need to say.” Why does this sound like he’s hiding classified information??

@/FerrariFanatic: CONSPIRACY THEORY: Charles is already in love and fighting for his life.

@/SoftTifosi: Imagine being Leo, just vibing, and suddenly you’re part of the biggest F1 romance discourse of the year.

@/HamiltonHive: Tessa watching this interview knowing damn well she’s winning

@/PaddockPrincess: If they aren’t dating yet, we are in for a wild season. If they are, Charles is about to break under questioning by summer break.

@/WAGWatch2024: Someone check on Charles. His life is about to get so much worse once Lewis starts getting asked about this.

***

Twitter Thread: "#AskTessa"

@/TessaHamilton: Back for another Q&A. Be nice. Or don’t. I can take it.

—

@/merc44fan: Has Lewis ever tried to teach you how to drive?

@/TessaHamilton: Oh, he tried. Key word: tried.

—

@/F1chaos: WAIT WHAT HAPPENED???

@/TessaHamilton: Long story short, he had one driving lesson with me when I was a teenager and then refused to ever get in a car with me again.

@/TessaHamilton: This was 10 years ago.

@/TessaHamilton: He still won’t let me drive when we go anywhere together.

—

@/lewisfan44: Be honest, were you actually bad, or was he just overreacting?

@/TessaHamilton: I’ll have you know I’m an excellent driver. He just lacks the vision to appreciate my talent. The first (and only) time he tried to teach me, I may have… misunderstood the difference between the gas and the brake.

@/TessaHamilton: And nearly reversed into our neighbor’s mailbox.

@/TessaHamilton: But I didn’t hit it. That’s the important part.

—

@/lewisfan44: I’m starting to think Lewis is valid in his reaction.

@/TessaHamilton: He wasn’t even in the car at the time! He was watching from the driveway like a nervous parent.

@/TessaHamilton: And when I didn’t crash, he still confiscated the keys and called it quits.

—

@/speedy44: Has he ever let you drive since?

@/TessaHamilton: He would rather walk.

@/TessaHamilton: I once offered to drive us to the airport, and he literally called a car service instead.

—

@/gridgossip: Be honest, if you and Lewis were in a parallel parking competition, who’s winning?

@/TessaHamilton: Me. Not even close.

@/LewisHamilton: LIES.

@/TessaHamilton: Oh, so you finally show up. Did your PR team approve this?

—

@/F1chaos: No but Tessa please explain why you think you’re a better driver than the literal greatest driver of all time.

@/TessaHamilton: Because I have zero speeding tickets.

@/TessaHamilton: Meanwhile, Lewis has too many.

@/LewisHamilton: Okay, first of all—

@/TessaHamilton: “First of all,” nothing. I have a clean record. You? Not so much.

—

@/mercfan4life: If you’re so confident, would you let Lewis sit in the passenger seat while you drive?

@/TessaHamilton: I would, but he won’t.

@/LewisHamilton: I value my life.

@/TessaHamilton: You drove with Nico Rosberg for years but I’M the one you don’t trust???

—

@/F1Fanatic: Who was your first F1 crush?

↳@/TessaHamilton: …Do I have to answer this?

↳@/MercMadness: YES.

↳@/PaddockGossip: You absolutely do.

↳@/TessaHamilton: Sigh.

↳@/TessaHamilton: Nico Rosberg.

↳@/FormulaFrenzy: WAIT WHAT.

↳@/F1TeaSpiller: OH THIS IS JUICY.

↳@/LewisHamilton: I’m sorry. WHAT.

—

@/TessaHamilton: Oh no.

↳@/TessaHamilton: I forgot he follows me.

↳@/LewisHamilton: YOU HAD A CRUSH ON NICO ROSBERG AND NEVER TOLD ME??

↳@/TessaHamilton: In my defense, you never asked.

—

@/PitLaneDrama: Lewis is malfunctioning, I can feel it.

↳@/LewisHamilton: HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS??

↳@/TessaHamilton: It was my deepest darkest teenage secret.

—

@/PitLaneDrama: This is the greatest thing I’ve ever witnessed.

↳@/LewisHamilton: Tessa. I need details. Now.

↳@/TessaHamilton: …I might have had a wall collage.

↳@/LewisHamilton: OH MY GOD.

—

@/F1Chaos: So how bad was this crush?

↳@/TessaHamilton: I may have run a Nico Rosberg fan account on Twitter.

—

@/RedMistLeclerc: TESSA YOU WERE A NICO STAN ACCOUNT??

↳@/LewisHamilton: I AM LOSING MY MIND.

↳@/TessaHamilton: LEWIS PLEASE RELAX.

↳@/LewisHamilton: MY OWN SISTER. A ROSBERG FAN. UNDER MY OWN ROOF.

—

@/NicoRosberg: This made my day.

—

@/GeorgeRussell63: Lewis, are you okay?

↳@/LewisHamilton: No. I’m in crisis.

***

Charles had prepared himself. He swore he had. He knew Tessa would be there. He knew she would look beautiful because she always did. He knew she would tease him because that was her favorite pastime.

What he didn't prepare for was the sheer force of Tessa Hamilton in a red dress.

The F1 75 Live gala was already unbearable—too many speeches and entirely too much media attention. But then she walked in, draped in scarlet, and Charles forgot how to breathe.

Lewis, standing beside him, sighed. "Oh no. Here we go."

Tessa Hamilton had arrived.

And suddenly, the entire night became a game of survival.

She found them within minutes, sweeping over with that knowing smile, glass of champagne in hand. "You boys look so serious," she said, eyes flickering between them before landing on Charles. "Charles, why do you look like you're about to spontaneously combust?"

"I do not," he said immediately, but his voice came out an octave higher than usual.

Lewis hummed. "You kinda do."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

Before Charles could dig himself into a deeper hole, Tessa leaned in, her fingers barely brushing his wrist as she peered at the phone in his hand. "Oh my god, are you two playing chess at a gala?"

"Yes," Lewis said flatly. "Because this event is a nightmare, and we need entertainment."

"And I was winning," Charles added.

Tessa raised a perfectly arched brow. "Oh? Give me that."

Before he could react, she plucked the phone from his hand and settled in next to him, too close, smelling too good, her warmth pressing against his side as she studied the game board.

"Charles, darling, I hate to break it to you, but you were not winning. This is awful strategy."

"Excuse me?!"

"Shh," she patted his shoulder condescendingly. "Let the genius work."

Lewis, watching this unfold, crossed his arms and smirked. "You do realize this is a tournament game, right? If you mess up, Charles is stuck with the loss."

Tessa looked up at Charles, eyes sparkling. "You trust me, don’t you?"

He absolutely did not, but his mouth betrayed him. "Of course."

And that was how he ended up watching, horrified, as Tessa—who he wasn’t even sure knew how to play chess—moved pieces with the confidence of a grandmaster.

Lewis let out a sharp laugh. "Oh, she’s ruthless. I should’ve known."

Tessa grinned, entirely too pleased with herself. "Checkmate, Hamilton."

Charles, still recovering from the way she had looked at him, almost missed it.

"Wait… did we just win?"

"We just won," she confirmed smugly.

Charles turned to Lewis, barely suppressing his smile. "Suck it."

Lewis rolled his eyes. "You didn’t win. She did."

Tessa beamed, tilting her head just slightly as she tapped Charles’s chest. "We make a good team, don’t we?"

Charles swallowed. He needed to leave. Or sit down. Or do literally anything to stop himself from saying something stupid.

But before he could, Tessa leaned in, voice dropping just for him. "You look good in black, by the way."

And just like that, he was done for.

***

Twitter Thread: “F1 75 Live”

@/F1TeaUpdates: Tessa Hamilton walked into the F1 75 Live in a red dress, stole Charles Leclerc’s phone, beat Lewis Hamilton at chess, and made Charles forget how to breathe. A queen.

↳@/FerrariFanatic: Charles is literally a F1 driver and yet he got outmaneuvered in under five minutes.

@/DTSStan: Netflix better have every camera angle of this because I need to see Charles buffering in real-time.

@/leclercbroupdates: Arthur and Lorenzo are 1000% bullying him in the group chat as we speak.

@/lessthanleclerc: I need Lewis to start live-tweeting these events. Like, sir, tell us what Charles’ face looked like when she called him “darling.”

@/paddockdrama: I’m crying someone zoomed in and Charles is literally just staring at her like she hung the moon. HELP.

@/gridgossip: Charles Leclerc is dressed like a prince, Lewis Hamilton is serving pure elegance, and Tessa Hamilton is out here looking like she’s about to steal a kingdom and its heir.

@/paddockdrama: Can we discuss how Charles and Tessa spent half the night in their own little world while Lewis just looked tired? My guy didn’t invite her to be his plus one for this madness. She forced her way in.

@/leclercnation: Charles, talking to someone else.Tessa, touching his arm for two seconds.Charles, immediately turning back to her like a magnet.Sir. Get a grip.

@/FerrariFanatic: F1 75 Live highlight reel:

Charles and Tessa playing aggressively flirty chess on his phone

Charles spilling champagne because she touched his hand

Arthur filming the whole thing for the family group chat

Lewis, looking straight into the camera like he’s on The Office

@/redcarprincess: Tessa, in a deep red dress, walking up to Charles with that look while Lewis sighs like he’s seen it all before… oh, she knew exactly what she was doing.

@/lessthanleclerc: I just know Charles went home and stared at his ceiling like an idiot, replaying every moment in his head. That man is down BAD.

@/f1chaos: Petition for Ferrari to host more events just to see Charles struggle to function around Tessa. It’s entertainment.

@/gridlockedd: Charles Leclerc: Ferrari’s golden boy, calm under pressure, master of controlled aggression. Also Charles Leclerc: Nearly drops a champagne flute because Tessa Hamilton tucked her hair behind her ear.

@/ferraristillhurts: Charles is so unserious. Like, Tessa just has to exist near him and suddenly he’s malfunctioning like a Ferrari strategy call.

 @/lewishamstan: Lewis really sat there watching his sister and his teammate flirt all night like he was questioning every life choice that led him here. That man is TIRED.

@/thepaddockfiles: Someone please check on Fred Vasseur. At this point, he’s managing a telenovela instead of a Formula 1 team.

@/plssomeonehelp: Charles is literally in the honeymoon phase and they’re not even dating.

@/wagsandgrid: At this point, it’s not “will they, won’t they?” It’s “when will Charles stop being a coward?”

@/fastestlapinlove: Every single shot of Charles and Tessa together looks like a still from a very expensive rom-com. Ferrari PR knows what they’re doing.

@/redflagromance: I need Ferrari to release unedited footage of Charles when Tessa took his phone to play chess. I know he was losing his mind.

@/tessafashioned: Tessa in Ferrari red with those heels? Mother was MOTHERING.

@/gridchaos: Fred Vasseur at this point: “I signed Lewis Hamilton, not a romance subplot.”

***

Group Chat: Leclerc Boys

(Members: Charles, Arthur, Lorenzo)

Lorenzo: How’s everyone doing tonight?

Arthur: Oh, just THRIVING.

Charles: I don’t like your tone.

Lorenzo: I like how you almost dropped your champagne when Tessa put her hand on your arm.

Arthur: “Almost” is generous. That flute was wobbling like it was about to throw itself to the floor just to end your suffering.

Charles: Shut up.

Lorenzo: Oh, come on, Charles. She was just being polite.

Arthur: Yeah, because she had to make a move in your chess game since you just sat there blinking at her like a malfunctioning robot.

Charles: I was caught off guard.

Arthur: You’ve been caught off guard for FIVE YEARS.

Lorenzo: At this point, I’m impressed. You’re a Ferrari driver, but when it comes to Tessa, your reaction time is worse than a pay driver in his rookie season.

Charles: I actually hate you both.

Arthur: Be real, were you even playing chess or just watching her take over and pretending to understand the game?

Charles: I was strategizing.

Lorenzo: Strategizing how to survive the evening without combusting?

Arthur: Failed that mission, didn’t he?

Charles: You know what? I’m done. Goodnight.

Lorenzo: Sweet dreams of Tessa in that red dress.

Arthur: Or, you know, of being able to speak in full sentences around her one day.

Charles: I am BLOCKING both of you.

***

Text Messages - Charles Leclerc and Tessa Hamilton

Tessa: Charles. We need to talk.

Charles: …About what?

Tessa: Your wardrobe.

Charles: What’s wrong with my wardrobe?

Tessa: Everything.

Charles: That seems dramatic.

Tessa: I just scrolled through your tagged photos. I have evidence.

Charles: What kind of evidence?

Tessa: Beige. So much beige. Questionable denim choices. Some truly tragic shoes.

Charles: My shoes are fine!

Tessa: Charles. You wore those white sneakers until they turned grey. That’s a crime.

Charles: They were comfortable.

Tessa: I’m sure prison jumpsuits are comfortable too, but you don’t see me wearing one.

Charles: …

Tessa: Anyway, I have decided to fix this.

Charles: Fix what?

Tessa: Your wardrobe. Your entire fashion sense. Your existence, if necessary.

Charles: My existence?!

Tessa: I have a reputation to uphold. I cannot be seen around a man whose entire aesthetic is sad Monaco yacht kid who got lost in a Uniqlo.

Charles: You are being very unfair.

Tessa: Am I? Look me in the eye and tell me you actually like half the things in your closet.

Charles: …I don’t like confrontation.

Tessa: That’s what I thought. Now, do you trust me?

Charles: Unfortunately, yes.

Tessa: Good. I’m sending you links. We are starting with outerwear. Then we will move on to tailoring.

Charles: I don’t like where this is going.

Tessa: You’ll thank me when GQ calls.

***

Twitter Thread – Spotted: Charles Leclerc & Tessa Hamilton Shopping in Monaco

@/MonacoInsider: ALERT: Charles Leclerc and Tessa Hamilton are currently bickering in the middle of a luxury boutique.

↳@/FerrariTifosi: Define bickering.

↳@/MonacoInsider: She held up a jacket for him, he made a face, and she said, "Charles, please, you have the style instincts of a bread roll."

↳@/SoftTifosi: HELP.

↳@/F1Fashionista: And what did he say???

↳@/MonacoInsider: He crossed his arms and said, "Says the woman who wore a sequined pantsuit to a karting event."

@/MercedesMafia: He has a point.

@/W14Who: I feel like Tessa is personally offended by his clothing choices.

@/MonacoInsider: She literally sighed, muttered "I knew this would be hard," and shoved another jacket into his hands.

@/McLarenShenanigans: Did he listen???

@/MonacoInsider: No, he smirked and said, "Only if you try on this dress." AND THEN HELD UP A TINY RED ONE.

@/TifosiDreams: THE AUDACITY???

@/MonacoInsider: She looked him dead in the eye, took it from his hands, and said, "Fine. But if I do, you’re buying the jacket AND the shoes I pick."

↳@/FerrariFaithful: NOT THE SHOES TOO.

@/RedArmy: Charles Leclerc, playing with fire.

@/SoftTifosi: And did she try on the dress???

@/MonacoInsider: Yes. She walked out of the dressing room, posed like she was on a red carpet, and Charles just stared. Like, literally forgot how to speak. Then he went, "Tessa, what do you need from me to never wear that in public?"

@/SoftTifosi: Bro is STRUGGLING.

@/MercedesElite: Why is this funnier knowing that he’s probably running through every possible escape plan in his head?

@/McLarenShenanigans: What did she say??

@/F1GossipMonaco: She just smiled sweetly and went, "A whole new wardrobe."

@/TifosiNation: She came to Monaco with a mission.

@/W14Who: This is a long con. She’s been planning this for months.

@/F1GossipMonaco: He stared at her for a solid five seconds, sighed like a man defeated, and muttered, "Fine. But if Lewis says anything, I’m blaming you."

@/FerrariFaithful: AND THAT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IS HOW YOU WIN A WAR.

@/SoftTifosi: Charles, sweetheart, you were doomed from the start.

***

Group Chat: Les Trois Frères

(Members: Charles, Arthur, Lorenzo)

Lorenzo: So, I see you've officially given up and let Tessa dress you.

Arthur: RIP to your independence.

Charles: I did NOT let her dress me.

Lorenzo: And yet, you were spotted trailing after her like a very obedient golden retriever while she held up shirts against you.

Arthur: Monaco’s Prince of Fashion reduced to Tessa Hamilton’s personal mannequin. Tragic.

Charles: I don’t see the problem.

Arthur: The problem is that you walked into the store in a hoodie and left looking like you own a yacht.

Lorenzo: He does own a yacht.

Arthur: Yeah, but now he dresses like it.

Charles: I dress fine.

Arthur: Not according to Tessa.

Charles: She called me a “tragic case of wasted potential” and then confiscated my wallet.

Lorenzo: How did she even manage that?

Charles: She’s fast. And terrifying.

Arthur: Ferrari should hire her for pit stops.

Charles: I don’t like you.

Lorenzo: Did you even pick anything, or did she just tell you what to buy?

Charles: I had opinions.

Arthur: And did she listen to them?

Charles: …Not really.

Lorenzo: Mon dieu. You’re done for.

Arthur: What did she get you?

Charles: Some button-downs, jackets, nice trousers. Shoes.

Arthur: Loafers.

Charles: …Yes.

Lorenzo: I need a moment.

Arthur: Tessa has won. She’s unstoppable.

Charles: I dress like an adult now.

Arthur: No, you dress like a man who got dragged through a shopping spree by a woman he’s hopelessly in love with.

Lorenzo: Have you at least thanked her?

Charles: I paid for everything.

Arthur: That’s not the same and you know it.

Lorenzo: Tell me you at least got your wallet back.

Charles: …She still has it.

Arthur: No words.

Lorenzo: Thoughts and prayers.

***

Text Messages - Charles Leclerc and Lewis Hamilton

Lewis: Mate, if she gets too much, just tell her to back off. Tessa will listen. Probably.

Charles: You say that like she didn’t steamroll me into an entirely new wardrobe today.

Lewis: She means well.

Charles: She called me a disaster in human form because I wanted to buy another white t-shirt.

Lewis: Okay, yeah, that sounds like Tessa.

Charles: She still has my wallet.

Lewis: …I can’t help you there.

Charles: She threatened to burn my ripped jeans.

Lewis: Honestly, she might be doing you a favor.

Charles: You’re supposed to be on my side.

Lewis: I am on your side. That’s why I’m telling you—if she pushes too hard, set some boundaries.

Charles: She’s a force of nature, Lewis. She doesn’t listen.

Lewis: She listens to me.

Charles: Yes, because you’re her brother. Not some poor man trapped in a boutique while she waves scarves at him like an art director losing her mind.

Lewis: …Do you want me to talk to her?

Charles: No.

Lewis: Are you sure?

Charles: …Maybe wait until after she brings me my wallet back.

***

[sebastianstansblog]

grid dad - mv1

summary: max decides accidentally adopts the 2025 rookies and his life becomes chaos

folkie radio: HERE IT IS!! i thought it was super late to post this but you guys wanted it so i finished it! i hope you like it

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

liked by maxverstappen1, olliebearman and 198,635 others

yourinstagram hosted our rookie dinner tonight because someone had to adopt these kids before the season starts 😂 @/maxverstappen1 trying to teach them the racing line around our dinner table while I'm just making sure they're all fed properly. good luck this season boys! ❤️

tagged: maxverstappen1, olliebearman, isackhadjar, kimi.antonelli, gabrielbortoleto_, jackdoohan

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username1 OMFG THIS ???

username2 max casually having all the kids over help me

maxverstappen1 They're already asking when they can come back for dinner 🤦‍♂️

username3 MY HEART 😭 mama yn and papa max adopting all the rookies i can't

username4 the way he's actually becoming the dad of the grid at 27 💀

username5 max going from youngest driver to grid dad is the character development we love to see

kimi.antonelli best pasta i've ever had outside of italy!! grazie mille

lando this is so unfair, where was my rookie dinner in 2019??

username6 STOP this is the wholesomeness we needed before melbourne 🥹

username7 giving me flashbacks to when seb used to adopt the younger drivers

isackhadjar thanks racing mum and dad 😌🏎️

jackdoohan catch me sneaking back in for leftovers tomorrow 👀

alex_albon @/georgerussell63 remember when we just got a RedBull and good luck text?

username8 NOT THE 2019 ROOKIES GETTING JEALOUS

username9 max really just adopted them all ??? hello!!

olliebearman thank you for everything! ready for the season now 💪

gabrielbortoleto_ such an amazing evening! grateful for the advice and the food was 🔥

username10 THE 2025 ROOKIES ARE SO LOVED

f1 The Class of 2025 getting the VIP treatment 🤩

liked by username1, username2 and 15,037 others

f1updates Max Verstappen reveals the 2025 rookies have become regular visitors at his home after his girlfriend invited them for a pre-season dinner

"Yeah, it's quite funny actually. My girlfriend invited them all over and now they just keep showing up. Antonelli's always asking for her pasta recipe, Bearman raids our fridge like it's his own house... Doohan's basically moved into our guest room at this point."

"It's nice though, they're good kids. They ask a lot of questions about racing, but mostly we just hang out. YN loves it, she's always making sure they're eating properly and stuff. I think she'll be screenshotting their race results like a proud mom"

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username1 NOT MAX BECOMING A GRID DAD AT 27

username2 the way he pretends to be annoyed but we know he loves it 🥺

username3 ollie living his best life raiding their fridge i'm crying

username3 kimi antonelli getting that family support AND pasta recipes? unstoppable

username4 max and yn collecting f1 children like pokemon and we're here for it

username5 the way he's actually proud of them 🥺 dad max era

username6 most unexpected wholesome f1 moment of 2025 already

username7 remember when max was the youngest driver? now look at him being grid dad

username8 WHY IS THIS SO CUTE LIKE THOSE ARE HIS KIDS

username9 i just know yn will be cheering for them at every race like a proud mom

username10 WHAT IF I CRY RN

liked by yourinstagram, jackdoohan and 1,094,483 others

maxverstappen1 Ready for Melbourne. Had a good winter break

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username1 2025 WDC ALREADY

kimi.antonelli thanks for the setup tips dad 😎

yourinstagram our kids are so talented 🥹

username2 HELP THE ROOKIES JUST INVADED THEIR HOUSE AND NEVER LEFT 😭

username3 not antonelli calling him dad i'm deceased

olliebearman fifa rematch when we're back? still saying you cheated

jackdoohan THANKS MUM AND DAD

isackhadjar best preseason prep ever 🙌

username4 the way this isn't even weird anymore, just max and his 5 adopted children

gabrielbortoleto_ those pancakes changed my life ngl

lando this is getting ridiculous, i'm moving in too

username5 yn collecting f1 sons every time max turns his back

username6 THIS IS THE WHOLESOME CONTENT WE DESERVE

username7 horner somewhere punching the air watching max parent the entire rookie class

username8 LANDO IS STILL COMPLAINING HELP

username9 the fifa tournaments at their house must be INTENSE

username10 THOSE ARE MAX'S SONS

username11 he really posted a picture with his girlfriend and pictures of their grid kids 😭 IM YELLING

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liked by maxverstappen1, lilymhe and 202,483 others

yourinstagram race day! good luck to my boyfriend and our... five adopted children 😂 still wondering how this happened but wouldn't have it any other way. make mama proud boys! ❤️ @/maxverstappen1 @/kimi.antonelli @/olliebearman @/jackdoohan @/isackhadjar @/gabrielbortoleto_

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username1 IM CRYING THOSE ARE THEIR CHILDREN

username2 the ducklings !!!

maxverstappen1 They're asking if we can have pizza night after the race 🤦‍♂️

kimi.antonelli grazie racing mom!

olliebearman promise not to crash dad's car 😇

jackdoohan home race AND family support, let's go!

isackhadjar thanks mom 🥹

gabrielbortoleto_ best racing parents ever ❤️

lando petition to be adopted too?

username3 NOT THEM ACTUALLY CALLING THEM MOM AND DAD NOW

username4 the way this started as a dinner and ended with 5 new family members

username5 ollie promising not to crash "dad's" car HELP ME 💀

username6 yn really said "i have 5 children now"

username7 mercedes wondering why their rookie keeps disappearing to verstappen family dinners

username8 the most wholesome timeline we never knew we needed

username9 verstappen family collection: ✅ max ✅ yn ✅ 5 rookies ✅ probably lando soon

username10 imagine telling someone in 2015 that rookie max would become f1's dad

liked by username1, username2 and 4,985 others

f1shitpost MAX'S FACE WHEN THEY TOOK KIMI. THAT'S HIS SON

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username1 the way max's face went 😦 -> 😳 -> 🥺

username2 they're interrupting their father-son time

username3 HEEEEEEELP THIS IS TOO FUNNY

username4 mercedes pr trying to prevent the adoption papers from being signed

username5 the way he immediately went to isack after this

username6 help why is this the most wholesome thing ever 😭

username7 the other rookies watching like "one of us, one of us"

username8 YN IS PROBABLY YELLING AT THIS

username9 he's taking the dad role way too seriously

username10 THATS A FATHER

liked by maxverstappen1, yourinstagram and 498,055 others

isackhadjar Not the way I wanted my first F1 race to go... but that's racing sometimes. Learning from it and moving forward. Thanks Max & YN for the emergency comfort dinner and pep talk (the cake was fire). Having the best support system helps a lot ❤️ On to the next one!

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username1 STOOOOOP THIS IS SO SWEET

username2 mom and dad to the rescue

yourinstagram always here for you sweetie! you'll come back stronger next weekend

maxverstappen1 Good weekend until the issue. We'll look at the data tomorrow 💪

kimi.antonelli next one will be better bro!

olliebearman you did great mate! also yn's cake fixes everything trust me

lando this family thing is getting out of hand... (yn can i have cake too?)

username3 NOT THE COMFORT DINNER FROM RACING PARENTS 😭

username4 yn really said "my son dnf'd? emergency cake needed"

username5 YN CALLING HIM SWEETIE AND MAX SAYING THEY'RE GOING TO REVIEW THE DATA? MY HEART THOSE ARE HIS PARENTS

username6 the way they all immediately gathered for support dinner 🥺

username7 verstappen family therapeutic cake session: activated

username8 my boy got the best racing parents fr 😌

username9 max analyzing data while yn bakes comfort food, perfect parenting

username10 most wholesome post-DNF recovery ever

username11 yn's cake solving all f1 problems one slice at a time

username12 lando still trying to get adopted in the comments HELP

liked by yourinstagram, maxverstappen1 and 509,755 others

olliebearman P8!!! First F1 points in the bag! 🙌 Found this note in my driver room this morning and it gave me the extra push. Thanks @/maxverstappen1 and @/yourinstagram for being the best racing parents and sneaking into Hass to leave it 😂 Also mega racing from my bros today!Great weekend ❤️

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username1 AHHHH FIRST OLLIEPOINTS

username2 UMMM THIS IS SO SWEET??

yourinstagram SO PROUD OF YOU! 🥳 (also don't tell how we got into the garage)

maxverstappen1 Good job kid 💪 Now about that overtake attempt on lap 32...

kimi.antonelli my bro killing it! (but seriously how did they get past haas security)

isackhadjar crushing it bro! save me some celebration cake

gabrielbortoleto_ first of many points! 🙌 (yn's ninja skills are scary ngl)

username3 YN AND MAX SNEAKING HAAS TO LEAVE PARENT NOTES I'M DYING 😭

username4 the most supportive illegal garage entry ever

username5 THEY REALLY BROKE INTO HAAS FOR THEIR SON I CAN'T

username6 most dedicated racing parents award goes to...

username7 the note is actually so sweet though 🥺

username8 verstappen family really said "security who?"

username9 IM SOBBING THOSE REALLY ARE THEIR KIDSSSS

username10 I LOVE THIS LORE SM

liked by maxverstappen1, kimi.antonelli and 301,054 others

yourinstagram WHAT A DAY! 🎊 super proud of dad for the win (as always) but seeing three of our kids score points?? mom's heart can't take it 😭❤️@/kimi.antonelli P6, @/isackhadjar P8, and @/olliebearman P10 - YOU'RE ALL DOING AMAZING! @/jackdoohan and @/gabrielbortoleto_ your time is coming soon babies! now time to stuff everyone with celebration sushi

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username1 I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

username2 MAX AND HIS KIDDOS

maxverstappen1 They're fighting over the last california roll as we speak 🤦‍♂️

kimi.antonelli best racing family ever 🫶 (i won the sushi battle btw)

olliebearman thanks mom!! also kimi definitely cheated for that roll

isackhadjar perfect day with the family ❤️

jackdoohan next race is mine! (save me some sushi pls)

gabrielbortoleto_ points loading... also who filmed kimi's sushi heist

lando this family content is getting out of hand (but can i come for sushi?)

alex_albon mate why wasn't there family sushi in my day 😫

username3 NOT YN CALLING THE WIN "DAD" AND THE POINTS "OUR KIDS" 😭

username4 the way she's actually more excited about the rookies than max's win help

username5 verstappen family sushi war is sending me 💀

username6 yn collecting champion boyfriend and point-scoring children

username7 toto sharing custody with max and yn wasn't on my 2025 bingo card

username8 jack and gabriel getting the "your time is coming babies" treatment 🥺

username9 isack really secured points AND family dinner we love to see it

username10 THE VERSTAPPEN FAMILY IS SO TALENTED

username11 lando trying to get adopted in the comments AGAIN 😭

liked by yourinstagram, olliebearman and 976,387 others

maxverstappen1 When you're on a two week break from F1 and want a nice time at home with your girlfriend but your 5 adopted kids refuse to leave the house... 🤦‍♂️ At least they're getting better at FIFA (still not better than me though)

view all comments

username1 IM DYING

username2 THIS IS SO REAL

yourinstagram you love it really 😘 (also kimi and gabe are banned from my kitchen after that pasta incident)

kimi.antonelli this is our house too now, no take backs

olliebearman jack's been hogging the sim for 2 hours, this is favoritism

jackdoohan not my fault i'm fastest

isackhadjar your couch is just really comfortable okay

gabrielbortoleto_ the pasta wasn't THAT bad...

lando might join the invasion tomorrow 👀

charles_leclerc mate your house is literally turning into a rookie daycare

username3 HELP THEY'VE LITERALLY JUST MOVED IN 😭

username4 max pretending to be annoyed while actually loving it: a series

username5 the pasta incident?? we need details 👀

username6 yn collecting children while max pretends to protest

username7 BEST THING ABOUT THE 2025 SEASON

username8 breaking: 5 f1 rookies stage permanent occupation of verstappen residence

username9 ollie really said "this is our house" the confidence 😭

username10 most expensive f1 daycare service

username11 "the pasta wasn't THAT bad" WHAT DID THEY DO

username12 max's villain to dad arc is actually complete

username13 yn somewhere: finally, i have all the children 😌

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liked by username1, username2 and 10,483 others

f1gossip Spotted: Fighting for dad's attention again... Kimi and Gabriel arguing over who gets Max's feedback before the race 😭

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username1 the way max is actually trying to listen to both of them at once 😭

username2 yn in the back like "my children are embarrassing me again"

username3 HELP WHY ARE THEY ACTUALLY FIGHTING LIKE SIBLINGS

username4 THOSE ARE HIS KIDS FR

username5 kimi really said forget mercedes i need dad's opinion first

username6 ollie watching this like "amateurs, i already got my feedback during lunch"

username7 yn collecting more chaotic children by the minute

username8 I BET LANDO IS STILL JEALOUS OF THIS

username9 jack somewhere taking notes on how to get feedback without the fight

username10 the way max is actually giving equal attention to both 😭 dad skills on point

username11 toto watching his rookie choose max's feedback over merc engineers

username12 gabe really speed walking to beat kimi to max HELP

username13 remember when max was the youngest driver? now he's managing kid fights

username14 the way yn is just accepting this chaos now

liked by maxverstappen1, jackdoohan and 409,386 others

yourinstagram this isn't goodbye, it's just a new chapter ❤️ So proud of how you're handling this @/jackdoohan. you're still our kid and this house is still your home (yes, even the sim room 😉). the racing world hasn't seen the last of you, and until then, you've got your whole family behind you. love you lots sweetheart 🫶 also @/francolapinto welcome to the family, dinner's at 7!

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username1 THIS IS SO SWEET OMG

username2 SHE SAID THATS OUR KID FOREVER

maxverstappen1 The sim is always open for you. We've got work to do 💪

jackdoohan love you mom ❤️ thanks for everything

olliebearman our brother forever 🫶 (also i'm still slower than you in the sim)

kimi.antonelli family sticks together no matter what

isackhadjar we've got your back bro!

gabrielbortoleto_ you're stuck with us forever

francolapinto thank you for the welcome! (slightly nervous about joining this family 😅)

lando proper family you've got there. i still feel excluded

username3 NOT ME CRYING AT YN'S MOM ENERGY 😭

username4 "you're still our kid" I'M NOT OKAY

username5 yn really said "my kid lost his seat but not his family"

username6 jack still having his racing family is everything

username7 franco getting adopted before he even starts HELP

username8 most supportive racing family award goes to...

username9 "yes, even the sim room" knowing that's where he spends most time 🥺

username10 this family really sticks together no matter what

username11 franco about to learn what it means to join this family

username12 "dinner's at 7" yn adopting the replacement immediately

username13 the way they're making sure he knows nothing changes

username14 most wholesome f1 family doesn't exi-

username15 franco watching these comments like "what am i getting into"

username16 this isn't a racing family anymore it's a FAMILY family 🥺

liked by yourinstagram, maxverstappen1 and 601,287 others

isackhadjar when @/olliebearman leaves his phone behind so max can take a pic with his actual favorite kid 😌

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username1 HELPPP ME

username2 MAX SELFIE ALERT

olliebearman DELETE THIS RIGHT NOW. also we all know I'M the favorite 😤

yourinstagram both of you are grounded.

maxverstappen1 Neither of you are the favorite. It's kimi.

kimi.antonelli AS IT SHOULD BE 😌

gabrielbortoleto_ this family meeting is about to get spicy...

lando still trying to figure out how max ended up with 6 children and i'm not one of them

username3 MAX ADMITTING THAT KIMI IS HIS FAVORITE JUST LIKE THAT HEEEEEEELP

username4 THE FAVORITE CHILD DRAMA I'M CRYING 😭

username5 yn having to parent a favorite child fight was not on my 2025 bingo card

username6 ollie somewhere sprinting back to get his phone

username7 max choosing chaos by saying kimi is the favorite HELP

username8 kimi really won the favorite child battle without even trying

username9 yn about to give the "i love all my children equally" speech

username10 isack really started a civil war with one post

username11 yn somewhere preparing the "we don't have favorites" lecture

username12 gabi just getting the popcorn ready for the drama

liked by francolapinto, maxverstappen1 and 401,376 others

yourinstagram last but definitely not least of our 2025 rookies making his debut! @/francolapinto you've worked so hard for this moment sweetheart ❤️ the whole family is so proud already. jack left you his lucky charm (yes I saw that), the boys have been sharing all their rookie race tips, and dad's already got your data analyzed. now go show them what you've got! also stop being nervous about family dinners, you're stuck with us now

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username1 MELTING AGAIN

username2 THEY JUST TOOK FRANCO TOO

francolapinto thanks mom 🥺❤️ (the note made me cry btw)

maxverstappen1 Remember what we discussed about turn 1. You've got this 💪

jackdoohan lucky charm worked for me, now it's your turn mate

olliebearman youngest sibling energy let's go 🔥

kimi.antonelli show them how it's done franco!

isackhadjar family's newest rookie about to kill it

lando this family keeps growing and i'm still not in it

username3 max and yn collecting another child: complete

username4 "stop being nervous about family dinners" WHY IS THIS SO CUTE

username5 franco went from replacement to beloved youngest child so fast

username6 yn's mom powers activated immediately for the new rookie

username7 newest verstappen family member making his debut

username8 all the siblings sharing rookie tips is actually so sweet

username9 jack supporting his replacement like a true big brother 😭

username10 "dad's already got your data analyzed" most supportive racing parents

username11 max is really a softie for this kids fr

username12 lando still trying to get adopted in the comments HELP

username13 most wholesome grid family keeps expanding

liked by lando, maxverstappen1 and 578,394 others

gabrielbortoleto_ Some Spain prep in the sim 💪 Getting those lines perfect for next week.

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username1 HELP IS THAT MAX'S SIM ROOM??? THE HELMET IN THE BACK 😭

username2 the way he's just casually posting from max's house like it's normal

username3 this man really said "sim prep" like we can't see max's entire setup 💀

username4 they've actually never left that house have they

lando you guys really never leave do you

username5 LANDO IS JEALOUS WE CAN TELL

yourinstagram dinner's at 7 sweetie 🫶

maxverstappen1 I still live here too you know 🤦‍♂️

username6 bro posted from casa verstappen like we wouldn't notice

username7 "the sim" sir that's your dad's gaming room

kimi.antonelli It's my turn with the sim

username8 NOT THEM FIGHTING OVER THE SIM

username9 they really just live there now and think we don't know

username10 at this point do they even have their own houses

username11 yn somewhere baking more cookies for her permanent residents

username12 not even trying to hide that they've moved in permanently 😭

liked by maxverstappen1, kimi.antonelli and 605,976 others

yourinstagram MY BOYS!!! 😭❤️ @/kimi.antonelli getting his first podium AND @/maxverstappen1 right there to celebrate with him - mom's heart is exploding! so proud of both of you! (and yes I cried, a lot) also all the other kids running to the podium to celebrate their brother's first podium? this family i swear

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username1 IM SOBBING

username2 THIS FATHER AND SON

maxverstappen1 Super proud today 👏👏

kimi.antonelli thanks mom and dad 🥺❤️ (yn you didn't have to cry THAT much though)

olliebearman my turn next! also kimi you owe us dinner now

gabrielbortoleto_ podium celebration was worth the paddock pass violation

isackhadjar nothing can stop us from celebrating family wins

username3 MAX THE PROUD DAD

username4 yn crying more than kimi at his first podium is peak mom energy

username5 the way all the siblings broke paddock rules to celebrate

username6 security watching 4 f1 drivers sprint to their brother's podium

username7 toto watching his driver celebrate with the competition family again

username8 yn really crying like it's her biological son's first podium 😭

username9 THE WAY THEY ALL RUSHED TO CELEBRATE WITH HIM

username10 most chaotic podium celebration

username11 them breaking rules just to celebrate together is everything

username12 from max's rival team to max's son real quick

username13 most wholesome father-son podium in f1 history

liked by maxverstappen1, yourinstagram and 1,029,588 others

lando since max and yn won't let me join the family, i'm stealing some of the kids. taking these three to the f1 movie premiere while their dad's stuck in simulator duties

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username1 HEEEEELP

username2 I LOVE LANDO SM

yourinstagram take care of my babies! 🥺 and make sure they don't stay up too late, they have duties tomorrow! also ollie needs his allergy meds and gabe gets cranky if he doesn't eat every 3 hours and franco gets nervous in crowds so keep him close! text me when you land! ❤️

maxverstappen1 Bring them back in one piece Norris

olliebearman WE'RE NOT BABIES (but yes i packed my meds)

gabrielbortoleto_ already hungry tbh

francolapinto sticking to lando like glue don't worry mom

kimi.antonelli this is favoritism, why wasn't i invited 😤

username3 YN'S MOM INSTRUCTIONS IN THE COMMENTS 😭

username4 lando really kidnapped 3 verstappen kids

username5 yn listing care instructions like they're toddlers HELP

username6 max stuck in sim while lando takes his kids out

username7 "ollie needs his allergy meds" WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY

username8 lando finally got into the family through uncle status

username9 "gabe gets cranky if he doesn't eat every 3 hours" EXPOSED

username10 THE ROOKIES + LANDO I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

username12 most expensive babysitting job in monaco

username13 lando finally found his way into the family 😭

liked by username1, username2 and 10,986 others

f1gossip SPOTTED: Max Verstappen and YN finally getting alone time on their yacht in St. Tropez!

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username1 THE ROOKIES ACTUALLY LET THEM HAVE A VACATION ALONE??? 😱

username2 breaking news: f1's busiest parents get a break

username3 somewhere in monaco 6 drivers are probably burning down the house

username4 first documented evidence of max and yn without children in 2025

username4 checking ig stories to make sure the house is still standing

username5 the kids finally let mom and dad have a date 😭

username6 I KNOW THE ROOKIES ARE CRYING BC THEY DIDN'T TAKE THEM

username7 most shocking f1 2025 news: verstappen parents spotted without children

username8 guarantee yn is still texting them every hour to check in

username9 max and yn experiencing peace and quiet for first time this year

username10 casa verstappen probably in chaos while parents are away

username11 who's taking bets on how long before one of them calls

username12 lando somewhere offering emergency uncle services

username13 giving it 24 hours before they rush home to check on their children 😭

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liked by maxverstappen1, isackhadjar and 613,029 others

yourinstagram 48 hours of actual peace and quiet with @/maxverstappen1. no sim schedule, no driver coaching, no chaos... just us (already missing our chaos though 🥺)

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username1 MY PARENTS ACTUALLY

username2 they really left all the rookies at home help

kimi.antonelli mom please come back the kitchen is... concerning

kimi.antonelli unrelated but how do you get pasta off the ceiling

olliebearman franco tried cooking, it didn't end well

gabrielbortoleto_ this is betrayal

jackdoohan guys stop snitching on each other in the comments 🤦‍♂️ but also yn the washing machine is making weird noises

francolapinto didn't start the kitchen situation, that was ollie. also we miss you 🥺

maxverstappen1 We're never going home, the kids can find a new foster home

username3 THE KIDS FALLING APART WITHOUT THEM AFTER 2 DAYS

username4 six f1 drivers vs basic household tasks: a saga

username5 "how do you get pasta off the ceiling" HELP

username6 they really can't survive 48 hours without mom and dad

username7 max and yn enjoying peace while their house burns down

username8 GET BACK TO THE KIDS

username9 them snitching on each other in the comments 😭

username10 yn reading these comments while booking next flight home

username11 professional athletes vs washing machine: washing machine winning

username12 "franco tried cooking" immediate evacuation needed

username13 max really said we're never going back 😭

username14 yn's notifications just: HELP HELP HELP HELP

liked by yourinstagram, lando and 1,094,593 others

maxverstappen1 Back to usual programming... Google search: how to kick 6 Formula 1 drivers out of my house? (Asking for a friend)

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username1 HELP MEEE

username2 THATS THEIR DAD

kimi.antonelli you'd miss us after 5 minutes

olliebearman we pay rent in entertainment

gabrielbortoleto_ you literally adopted us first

isackhadjar too late we have keys now

francolapinto who else would eat all your food?

jackdoohan you love us and you know it

lando make it 7 i'm coming over

yourinstagram babe you were literally just showing their baby photos to horner yesterday

username3 YN EXPOSING MAX SHOWING OFF BABY PHOTOS 😭

username4 "we pay rent in entertainment" they really do though

username5 max pretending he doesn't love the chaos

username6 man went from world champion to full time dad real quick

username7 "too late we have keys now" HELP 💀

username8 max's retirement plan: adopting every rookie

username9 yn exposing max's proud dad moments in the comments

username10 max acting like he doesn't love being everyone's dad

username11 man really adopted half the grid and is pretending to regret it

username12 FRANCO WITH NINO IM CRYING

liked by username1, username2 and 15,974 others

f1updates SPOTTED: Ollie Bearman caught sneaking into Red Bull garage to steal energy drinks... again. Dad's drinks hit different apparently

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username1 naur why he sneaking around like his dad doesn't LITERALLY DRIVE FOR THEM 😭

username2 caught in 4k trying to steal from his own family's garage HELP

username3 not him acting like a whole spy for some red bull

username4 the way he could've just asked max but chose crime instead

username5 he just wanted to see his dad

username6 THEY REALLY CANT STAY AWAY FROM MAX

username7 the way he's literally part of the family but still sneaking around

username8 times ollie's been caught stealing rb drinks: 27

username9 max's child getting caught robbing his workplace is peak 2025

username10 he wanted the family discount but forgot to ask first 💀

username11 max come get ur kid he's stealing from work again

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liked by olliebearman, maxverstappen1 and 1,344,982 others

f1 Stefano's dinner for the drivers ! ❤️

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username1 the seating arrangements exposing the family favorites 💀

username2 kimi really secured the spot next to dad

username3 ollie at the other end like a disowned child HELP

username4 max keeping the good kids close and sending ollie to timeout with oscar

username5 kimi won the favorite child competition and it shows

username6 the favoritism is real and we have photo evidence

username7 ollie being exiled to the other end for crimes against red bull garage

username8 max keeping his well behaved children close and ollie in australian timeout

username9 kimi strategically claiming the favorite child spot

username10 ollie watching kimi get the prime spot: 🧍‍♂️

username11 the three good children got front row seats

username12 consequences of stealing red bull: banishment to oscar's end

username13 seating chart exposing family dynamics

lando at least ollie has oscar to console him 💀

olliebearman THIS IS LITERALLY BULLYING

kimi.antonelli earned my spot fair and square 😌

yourinstagram maybe if someone hadn't been caught stealing from the garage...

maxverstappen1 Good children get good seats 🤷‍♂️

oscarpiastri don't worry @/olliebearman we'll start our own family

f1world 24 hours after defending Bortoleto in press conference, Max Verstappen helps Gabriel in quali. Bortoleto makes Q3 for the first time thanks to Max giving him tows on track. Proud dad energy radiating from Red Bull garage 👀

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username1 journalist really made max activate super dad mode

username2 NOT HIM LITERALLY GOING TO HELP AFTER THAT PRESS CONFERENCE 💀

username3 THATS MAX'S SON FR

username4 max said talk shit about my kids and watch what happens

username5 man took "and i took that personally" to another level

username6 journalist accidentally unleashed father verstappen

username7 max really said watch me fix this real quick

username8 HELP HE LITERALLY WENT TO PROVE THEM WRONG

username9 max choosing violence via parent mode

username10 journalist opened their mouth and max chose dad revenge

username11 fastest parent response time in f1 history

username12 max: and here's what my children can do actually

username13 "disappointing? let me show you something"

username14 man took criticism of his kids personally and did something about it

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liked by maxverstappen1, isackhadjar and 603,597 others

yourinstagram mixed emotions kind of day... but mostly just proud ❤️ our little family had its first racing incident (they're fine, already hugged it out before even leaving the track) and... GABE GOT HIS FIRST POINTS! P8! 🎉

the way maxie went straight from his DNF to watching gabe's race from our garage... my heart 😭 mow time for celebration dinner (yes kimi, you're still invited, stop texting asking if you're grounded)

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username1 MY FAVORITE FAMILY

username2 THEY'RE EVERYTHING TO ME ACTUALLY

maxverstappen1 Never missing a kid's first points even if i have to watch from the garage

gabrielbortoleto_ best racing parents ever 🥺❤️

kimi.antonelli thanks for not grounding me mom

isackhadjar family dinner about to be wild

olliebearman gabe finally joining the points club 🎉

username3 NOT KIMI ASKING IF HE'S GROUNDED 😭

username4 max dnf'ing and still being proud dad we love to see it

username5 the way they're actually parenting these grown men

username6 "stop texting asking if you're grounded" I'M CRYING

username7 max watching from garage after dnf is peak dad behavior

username8 most wholesome f1 family fr

username9 their parenting energy is too powerful

username10 gabe getting his first points on family drama day

username11 max going from dnf to proud dad mode instantly

username12 tried for drama, got wholesome family content instead

liked by yourinstagram, kimi.antonelli and 1,274,599 others

maxverstappen1 We might have racing incidents, but these 6 are still my kids (even though they keep crashing my romantic dinners, stealing my drinks, and never letting me have alone time with my girlfriend) 🤷‍♂️❤️ Proud of everyone today. Yes, even you @/kimi.antonelli, stop sending apology memes now

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username1 SOFT MAXIEEEE

username2 im crying so bad

kimi.antonelli 🥺 sends another apology meme

olliebearman we crash dinners out of love

gabrielbortoleto_ best day with best family ❤️

isackhadjar you love us really

francolapinto we make life interesting admit it

jackdoohan family chaos is our brand

lando still waiting for my adoption papers

yourinstgarm OUR KIDS FOREVER 🥺

username3 "stop sending apology memes" HELP

username4 complaining about no alone time while enabling it

username5 kimi sending apology memes is killing me

username6 man really adopted 6 drivers and acts surprised they're around

username7 "we crash dinners out of love" I'M CRYING

username8 pretending to want peace while collecting children

username9 days since max last complained about his chaos: 0 days since he enabled it: also 0

username10 THOSE ARE HIS BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN

username11 man gave everyone keys then acts shocked they show up

username12 "these 6 are my kids" THE ACCEPTANCE STAGE