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secondfiddle · 5 years

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SasuNaruSasu Fanfiction Rec-List. Pt 1

It Started Over Coffee [Chapters: 11 - Words: 89,552]

Naruto’s polite gesture wins him a new friend. A very witty, charming one at that. NaruSasu/SasuNaru

It Started Over Coffee: Seattle [Chapters: 14 - Words: 100,833]

Coffee Universe. Naruto goes with Sasuke to Seattle to await the outcome of Itachi’s trial. With the stress straining their relationship, will they be able to overcome this obstacle together, or will the unknown start to tear them apart?

It Started Over Coffee: NYC [Chapters: 16 - Words: 143,826]

Sasuke’s always had doubts about his past, afraid that it would come back to haunt him. But what if he had met Naruto while living in New York City? Would Naruto see through all of his miserable attempts at pushing him away and stay by his side? God, he hoped so. NaruSasu, NaruShion, Sasu/OC

It Started Over Coffee: Nezumi [Chapters: 5 - Words: 45,723]

All Naruto wanted to do was take Sasuke out on date. But wouldn’t you know, after 15 months together, it had to be tonight that they bumped into an old acquaintance with the hots for Naruto. Not to mention job transfers, nosy psychics, and talk of, ahem, children.

Coffee Sidefics [Chapters: 8 - Words: 35,477]

Extra scenes for the It Started Over Coffee universe.

Coffee Sidefics II [Chapters: 11 - Words: 53,266]

A second collection of Coffee sidefics that take place post-Seattle.

by Rasengan22 (Favorite SNS writer)

Healing the Broken [Chapters: 23 - Words: 138,319]

The war is over, and Sasuke was brought back to the village after his final battle with Naruto. With all his goals of vengeance either completed or destroyed, can Sasuke find something to anchor him? And will Naruto still be willing to help him? Naruto x Sasuke (Yaoi - boy x boy). CANON - Post manga chapter 693. SasuNaruSasu

Deception [Chapters: 34 - Words: 256,910]

“It says here that you were sent along with the proposal to demonstrate Orochimaru’s… deep appreciation of my special consideration and attention to this matter,” Sasuke said, his voice inflectionless. He eyed Naruto with seeming disinterest. “Is there a problem?” “No,” Naruto said sinking fluidly to his knees, his hand slowly rising to Sasuke’s zipper. Crime. Yaoi SasuNaru - AU

Give us our Daily Ramen [Chapters: 24 - Words: 176,722] Naruto runs an underground newspaper called ‘The Daily Ramen’, focused on poking fun at the fragile egos of the rich and famous. How does Sasuke respond when he moves to town and gets in Naruto’s crosshairs? Not particularly well. But who said arguing can’t be foreplay? AU Sasuke x Naruto (Yaoi boy x boy)

An Artist’s Obsession [Chapters: 2 - Words: 13,716]

Looking for a moment of self-gratification to take his mind from a recent break-up and slump in his work, Naruto finds himself flipping through a gay bondage magazine… only to find the person he least expected as the centerfold: Uchiha Sasuke - the asexual “no one touches me” heartthrob he’d gone to highschool with. AU NaruSasu Yaoi.

The Face He Couldn’t Forget [Words: 4,212] Naruto’s plane is shot down, and he goes missing. Sasuke refuses to accept that he is gone. When the conflict is over, Sasuke tries to find answers. Yaoi (boy x boy) Sasuke and Naruto. AU The Test [Chapters: 3 - Words: 21,278] “Look, I just think you should do a… test… while you’re out here. No strings, no risks. You hate feeling like an ass because you end up breaking up with every girl you think you love. Just… try it with a guy, and see how it goes,” Kiba said, flinching at the glare his best friend Naruto threw at him. After all, he had found the perfect candidate. Yaoi (boyxboy) SasuNaruSas AU

Foreplay for Ninjas [Words: 5,819]

Nothing gets a ninja’s blood pumping like full-contact sparring. ONESHOT. SasuNaru Canon universe, plot divergence. by kizukatana Therapy [Chapters: 18 - Words: 179,093] After four years, Tsunade has had enough of Sasuke and Naruto’s fist fights. Ordering them to go to the best therapist in Konoha seems like a good idea. But what’s this…? Dom and Sub? Sleepovers and kiss wars? What did they just sign up for? SasuNaru Le You Belong With Me [Chapters: 2 - Words: 17,981] Naruto thinks he has it all planned out. Naruto thinks he belongs with Sakura. Naruto thinks he’s in love. Naruto never thought about Sasuke as anything but a best friend. So how does Taylor Swift and a rooftop change all of that?

Succubus [Words: 8,990]

Sasuke knew there was something wrong with Naruto. So when an incident happens that nearly costs the idiot his life, the Uchiha decides it’s time to find out just what it is. But what if Naruto would rather die, literally, than face reality? It’s up to Sasuke to change his decision! A Sasunaru one-shot, Ninja-verse. Also a lemon included. You have been warned!

The Fear of Being Alone [Words: 12,672]

It seemed like a normal night for Sasuke. After refusing Sakura, Sasuke wants nothing but to go home. So when fate places a boxer-clad past on his doorstep,can he escape the love confession he tried to forget? NARUSASU. Lemon one shot, reviews are nice

Life Is a Highway [Chapters: 5 - Words: 50,171]

When Naruto hears Sasuke is moving across the country, he is really upset. Not willing to say goodbye just yet, he thinks of only one thing…ROAD TRIP! But what happens when you realize your best friend is..more than that? Three/four shot, Read and Reveiw!

by NavyBlueWings

The Worst Shift [Chapters: 23 - Words: 126,526] by CapturedbyNoodles and Kizukatana

A decorated officer of the court, with a police record as immaculate as his badge, Naruto Uzumaki was certain he could take on anything. Even if that meant wearing a skirt, procuring a street corner, and going undercover as a prostitute… with his old high school rival as his first client. (Written by CapturedbyNoodles and Kizukatana COMPLETE). An accidental marriage [Chapters: 42 - Words: 70,601] by fangirlandiknowit

Somehow Sasuke ends up proposing to his annoying flat-mate Naruto. And somehow, his family thinks it’s for real! What is he supposed to do? Will this accidental marriage be Sasuke’s demise or could something good actually come out of it? Eventual Narusasu :3

Cause you get lighter the more it gets dark [Words:5579] by acrosticacrumpet

Sasuke was never supposed to find Uzumaki Naruto attractive. (Of course it’s never been that simple.)

The Words I Couldn’t Say [Chapters: 19 - Words: 150,562] by vampireunicorn101

Sasuke has been in love with his best friend for years, but has kept it to himself, believing his feelings were unrequited. Sometimes, though, keeping something to yourself is the worst thing you can do. Yaoi NaruSasuNaru AU disclaimer inside

The Contents of a Box [Words: 6,919] by vampireunicorn101

Late Valentines PWP. Naruto should have learned to never trust Sai when it comes to his love life. Luckily, Sasuke can be surprisingly forgiving. To Naruto anyway.

Alleyways and Strangers [Words: 7,199] by PunkyPenguin

Ending up in a dark alleyway with a blond stranger you met only an hour ago. That was Sasuke’s current situation. “Tell me, Sasuke. Have you ever had sex in an alleyway?” Naruto asked in a low, sensual voice. NaruSasu, Lemon

Snap Shots [Words:34,760 Works:33] by playitagain

A series of 33 SNS one shots. Contain angst, fluff and smut.

Can’t live without you [Words: 2949] by fangirlandiknowit

After reading Naruto chapter 662 I needed to make my own happy ending instead of crying. Time skip ninja-verse, Naruto and Sasuke admitting/coming to terms with their feelings.

Crush [Words: 14,634] by Sugahlei

Sasuke decides that alcohol is the next best thing to ignoring his issues…and most definately NOT just Naruto…but Naruto follows him home anyway. NaruSasu kindaPWP. Hey! Rated RNC17 cuz it’s definately not tame.

Tattoo [Chapters: 2 - Words: 20,062] by NavyBlueWings

All Uzumaki Naruto wanted when he entered the ink shop was to show his rival/best friend/something else Uchiha Sasuke up. But one tattoo changed their entire fight. SasuNaru, two-shot, Naruto POV. M for Lemon, you have been warned Opposite Sides of the Tracks [Chapters:10 - Words:77549] by KizuKatana

Naruto and Sasuke come from opposite ends of the social strata. Sasuke is heir to the Uchiha business empire. Naruto is just trying to survive childhood. But they are more alike than they realize. When both their lives get ripped apart, the bonds of friendship they forged as children explode into something else entirely. WARNING: hard yaoi (boyxboy)

Mine [Words: 4311] by IvvyMoon (blue_jack)

He didn’t hear anything for a couple of minutes, and he wondered what the other person was saying to Naruto. To his Naruto.

Let It Snow [Chapters: 15 - Words: 94,718] by FastForward

The last thing Sasuke wanted to do for Christmas was be stuck in the middle of nowhere with buckets of snow and an annoying neighbour who won’t leave him alone. NaruSasu.

Teach, Torment, and Tantalize [Words: 5456] by IvvyMoon (blue_jack)

It was going to be a long semester.

Over the Years [Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,572] by KittyHug

SasukeNaruto Oneshot that I broke up in two parts of random scenes of them growing up together. I was still new to writing so there’s no scene breaks, sorry. Hopefully, it’s not too confusing.(Happy face)

The Kiss, Sort of [Words: 1,699] by fluffy-fuzzy-ears

Sakura brings up that accidently first kiss the two boys shared. Some blushing, some rolling of the eyes… SasuNaru, surplus ending Set after the bridge scene I guess. ONESHOT COMPLETE

Twentyfive Roses [Words: 867] by kawaii-kirei

Naruto works in a flower shop, but there’s this one guy that just keeps on coming back every single day. [SasuNaru, NaruSasu, oneshot, AUish, and hopefully not OOC. Halfway fluffy!

Crescendo [Words: 11,558] by brumalbreeze

21 black keys, 67 white keys. One month to learn how to play the piano in order to impress Sakura and Naruto just HAD to ask that jerk to help him. Is this the formula for disaster? … Or worse? -Slight NaruSaku, SasuNaru, Oneshot, AU-

Kissing You [Words: 2779] by MissMouse1421

After weeks of inappropriate behaviour between the two of them, Naruto finally gives into his emotions and confronts Sasuke about his feelings. How will Sasuke respond? Read on to find out!

Finding a Balance [Chapters: 25 - Words: 53775] by MissMouse1421

Naruto is a rambunctious young man and Sasuke is a quiet control freak. What happens when you put these total polar opposites under the same roof? Complete and utter chaos. The good kind.

God, it burns [Chapters: 15 - Words: 129,689] by Mako75

NaruxSasu YAOI AU Uchiha Sasuke met Uzumaki Naruto when he was ten years old. He realized he was in love with him when he turned fourteen and decided he would make him his when he was sixteen. And he would do whatever it took to make it come true. Al Dente [Words: 6,056] by SasuNaruJunkie

It seems Naruto needs to learn what ‘firm to the bite’ means… sensei!Sasuke. SasuNaru PWP,One-shot,NC-17, Mature

Rural Mentality [Chapters: 4 - Words: 24,081] by shattered glass lilies

“Is it okay if I kiss you now Sas?” he inquires, not stopping to wait for my answer as he pressed his pink lips to my own.

Big [Words: 7,279] by runicclover

Naruto always liked them big. Really big. So he was nervous when it finally came time for Sasuke’s big reveal. PWP AU SasuNaru

Not A Good Day [Words: 2,524] by dmnq8

“Uchiha Sasuke. Jock. Cool. Smart. Gorgeous. Straight.” AU, Shonen-ai, SasuNaru. Giftfic for Girl Who Changed Her Pen Name. Disclaimer in my profile.

Riding in Cars with Boys [Words: 6,825] by stealth gato

Getting stuck in a snow storm with your rival is never fun… but there are always some exceptions. WARNING: YAOI. LEMONS. Seduction at 40,000 Feet [Words: 11,238] by dmnq8

A routine flight back to Kuwait turns into anything but. Who’s seducing who anyway? Oneshot. Coarse language, yaoi, lemon, NaruSasu. AU. Giftfic for SasuNaruForever17. Disclaimer in my profile. The Chemicals Between Us [Chapters: 27 - Words: 62,346] by VioletWylde

Its the 1st day of his Junior year and already Naruto is having issues with his chem partner. Naruto decides to forge ahead and attempt to befriend the raven-haired boy. Will he succeed or will he get more than he bargained for? M for language and lemons

Altered States [Chapters: 27 - Words: 104,266] by VioletWylde

Sasuke knew how he felt about Naruto, but fear kept him from acting. What happens when those fears are locked away? When suppressed feelings are allowed to surface? A mysterious extra credit assignment may provide opportunity. AU. Yaoi. Lemons & language.

Voodoo no Jutsu [Chapters: 12 - Words: 90,331] by Chiyume

Naruto discovers the somewhat interesting things one can do to a certain Uchiha Sasuke with a voodoo-doll… NaruSasuNaru, YAOI, rated M for later chapters. Read and Review please!

Saturday Night Out [Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,146] by Chiyume

Naruto and Sasuke are room mates, both have feelings for the other but are to nervous to admit it. A night out with vodka shots and karaoke somehow breaks their stubborn silence in a most… unexpected way. Rated M for Lemon. Co-written with TigerTearz.

Going Down [Chapters: 6 - Words: 22,704] by Zrina

Surviving the plane crash was easy. Surviving each other’s company will be a little harder. NaruSasu, AU, Yaoi

Photogenic Lovers [Words: 4904] by dotheunthinkable

Naruto is a camera whore. Sasuke likes to take pictures. It leads to other things.

Piercings [Words: 11,849] by Fifi McFu

It started out as a dare, so why the hell was Naruto pressed up against a bathroom wall with a sexy body piercer kneeling between his legs? SasuNaru One Shot

Ink [Words: 5,183] by Fifi McFu

Sequel to Piercings. When you lose your lover, all else fades from existence. A tattooed promise is the one thing that Sasuke can hold onto when he thinks that a fire has taken Naruto’s life. Lemon, yaoi, slight OOCness.

Forbidden Best Friend [Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,488] by Yamanvie

Sasuke glowered down at his book. There was no way Itachi didn’t know. His asshole brother must have found out about how much Sasuke wanted Naruto. Or he wouldn’t be flaunting his closeness to the blond so outrageously… SasuNaru Gift fic

(Make things so) Complicated [Words:7811] by megyal

Requests from sirona_gs: Naruto as Jounin; Sasuke redeemed/Jounin (+ genin team optional)… either established (healthy) relationship or a get-together piece. Really, it’s the interaction I’m after. Kids welcome. Kinks: banter, smart!Naruto, bondage, leather, rough play (but nothing major), blood play, both being equal but one submitting willingly. Thanks to txilarfor giving this a quick read-over.

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secondfiddle · 5 years

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Hey you REALLY know your way with fanfics, so can you tell me what is in your opinion the BEST fanfiction you read? Just please, I want one where both Naruto and Sasuke acknowledge they are gay/bi, none of that "Oh my god I've never been attracted to a man before" Bull, I would REALLY appreciate thank you

Hey there, anon! First of all let me say THANK YOU SO MUCH ;///////; for your wonderful compliments, I feel really honoured that you wanted to ask me about good fanfics ^w^ I’ll do my best to hopefully give you some you haven’t read before!!

And don’t worry! I made sure to list fics that already acknowledge their sexualities xD I hope these are looking for sweetie

Almost Sucks by Mashiro

Amatores by VioletWylde

Baker’s Dozen by mylilchickadee

Butterfly by Lotus Fantasy (warning: physical abuse)

Candid Moments by Lohrendrell

Feeling the Heat by michelerene (oneshot)

Finally by SilverRose88 (oneshot)

Gunmetal by CerealK (oneshot)

Hidden Desire by tisshuuame

In Sickness and in Health byscarylolita (warning: drug use)

Let It Snow by FastForward

Services Rendered by michelerene

SlackerxHacker by VioletWylde

The Demon and the Vampire by shherie

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secondfiddle · 5 years

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where are those startups that are disrupting the glasses industry

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secondfiddle · 5 years

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Lube for the Wild West

This fandom needs more fic! So I started with some helpful research, because I’m a nerd.

The problem is straightforward, really: if you’re writing a slash fic in a historical setting and want your OTP to go beyond a mutual wank, you need some lube. In a historical setting, it can be tricky to find a suitable alternative. I learned some interesting stuff on the way.

This goes for the Dollars trilogy setting, but it also works roughly for any fandom form Rawhide to Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

So, Wild West. Cowboys and outlaws and gunslingers. Also, sand, heat, horses, living out of one’s saddlebags, on bare essentials. Hence the obvious choice: gun oil.

youtube

…no, not of this kind.

In The Good, the Bad and the Ugly we get a gratuitous shot of Blondie polishing his gun (no pun intended).

via GIPHY

We see a pretty extensive range of kit: several different bristle brushes, a screwdriver, a copper wire brush he uses to clean out the powder residues (the professionals say it’s a lot of ashes to have in one’s gun. It seems Blondie doesn’t have much time for gun maintenance.) and a jar of oil of some sorts.

Well, today’s gun oils are mostly mineral oils with additives to prevent corrosion and enhance stickiness, i.e. basically motor oil. Some mineral oils are well safe, but the additives can contain stuff like graphite and teflon, and nobody needs that in their body. Don’t use modern gun oils for sex. You’ve been warned!:))

Image source >

But the foul stuff didn’t exist in the times of the Wild West. So, what were the contents of gun oil at the time (1860-1870s)?

Well, it’s a pretty unclear territory, so if there are any historians willing to put right my amateurish research, please please do.

As far as I could find, in the harsh conditions away from the civilisation people used pretty much anything remotely slippery for gun maintenance: from unsalted tallow (reduced animal fat) to crude oil to, well, elbow grease. In the American Civil War in particular the troops were often undersupplied with gun oil and had to make do with anything they could find.

The standard army-issue lubricants included, apparently, several varieties of greasy substances and changed with time:

Let’s decipher this.

The beeswax/tallow mix is quite harmless and period-compliant, but it’s a) solid at room temperature, so not really useful; and b) tallow goes rancid in warm conditions - not as fast as unrefined animal fat, but it does. Ewwww, the smell.

Graphite grease and japan wax are obviously out of question. Ballistol, as a simple search shows, is a German invention consisting of Vaseline (pretty safe and used as sexual lubricant for ages) and alcohol (why oh why?!), rendering it pretty useless for non-ammo purposes.

Blondie uses a Sharp’s 1874 rifle to free Tuco; apparently, the Sharps Rifle Company recommended a sperm whale oil based lubricant. Also Blondie seems to be using for his cleaning something that looks suspiciously like a base of an oil lamp; kerosine wasn’t widely used for lighting yet, so the lamp probably contains sperm whale oil. Thrifty.

Sources list whale oil as a popular gun lubricant, especially in the Union. At the height of the whaling industry in 1856, the United States was producing 6 to 10 million gallons of whale oil annually; it used to be one of the most widely used technical oils: lamps, candles, leather treatment, tool-making, soap, margarine, you name it. But the quality especially cherished in whale oil was it’s water- and heat-resistance: indispensable for steam engines and - yes - guns. The Civil War effectively brought the New England whaling industry to a halt when the Confederacy sunk a large number of the whaling ships. Nevertheless, the demand made sure that sperm whale oil production carried on until the moratorium on whaling in 1982 (!) when it was replaced with rapeseed and linseed oils. It seems to be quite safe on skin (it was (and still reportedly is) used in cosmetic industry); since it’s long been unavailable (long live whales!), nobody provided any accounts on personal lubricating qualities of whale oil, but the people who have seen/used it agree on one thing: it stinks. Ewww no.

If your cowboys are hard as fuck, whale oil is probably around in some form. And it stinks. But there is a better option.

The name ‘Minié lubricant’ refers to a family of rifles developed by French engineer Claude Étienne Minié and widely used by both the Yankees and the Confederates: Springfield Model 1861 Minié rifle was the most widely used rifle during the American Civil War.

via GIPHY

The soldiers in GBU shoot Springfield Model 1863 Minie rifles, so it’s safe to assume the Minié concoction would be widely available and still in use some years after the war ended. And it is perfect for our dirty slashy purposes: its components are absolutely safe, healthy, and natural.

The sources indicate that various handmade concoctions among the lines of the Minié lubricant were (and still are) in use all across the US:

“Natural ingredients such as vegetable oils, beeswax, lanolin and coconut butter are among the most common ingredients” ©

Olive oil, beeswax, lanolin, and coconut butter? A drop of lavender, and it would make a pretty good organic hand cream!

Depending on the proportions of the components and the outside temperature (the melting point of coconut butter is around 24 °C / 76 °F), this gun oil mix can be creamy or liquid, just like the one we see on Blondie’s table. It is very good for your skin (I would probably recommend it for Blondie’s sunburns). And it smells nice. Ergo: the tough gunslingers of the Wild West probably had on them a widely available, safe & natural gun oil which effectively doubled as skin ointment, hand cream, and - yes - lubricant. Yep.

Tl;dr: In the 1850-1900s in the Wild West, using gun oil as lubricant was perfectly safe and quite nice (provided it was not an army regulation variety).

New Dollars trilogy headcanon: Blondie’s hands are very tender and smell faintly of coconut.

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secondfiddle · 5 years

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the notes are broken 😂

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secondfiddle · 5 years

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the holy grail

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secondfiddle · 6 years

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ATTENTION WRITERS

Google BetaBooks. Do it now. It’s the best damn thing EVER.

You just upload your manuscript, write out some questions for your beta readers to answer in each chapter, and invite readers to check out your book!

It’s SO easy!

You can even track your readers! It tells you when they last read, and what chapter they read!

Your beta readers can even highlight and react to the text!!!

There’s also this thing where you can search the website for available readers best suited for YOUR book!

Seriously guys, BetaBooks is the most useful website in the whole world when it comes to beta reading, and… IT’S FREE.

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secondfiddle · 6 years

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How to (almost) instantly disable all 300 companies Tumblr wants to share your data with

If you’ve logged in to Tumblr in the last few days, you will have seen the GDPR warning, telling you Tumblr is part of the Oath family of sites, and requiring you to opt-in to their privacy settings.

You may not have realised that, in contravention of the GDPR rules which ban default opt-ins, if you don’t go into the ‘more options’ button and opt out of each individual sharing partner, Tumblr will share your data with a whole huge list of other companies. Like, 300 of them.

@the-mad-duchess has a post here describing how you can disable them.

If you’ve already opted in to the Oath privacy stuff, you need to go to your Settings page:

Click the Privacy button on the right:

Then, click the little button next to ‘Cookie Consent’ to revoke it.

After confirming you want to revoke consent, you will immediately be taken to that big privacy opt-in page again. From that point we follow the steps @the-mad-duchess described - first click ‘Manage Options’:

Then, click the blue ‘Manage’ button, and expand the two lists. You’ll see five kinds of data sharing, and like 300 different companies:

The first five you can click manually more easily than using javascript. That might be enough to opt out of any data sharing - but I want to be sure. So, let’s make sure we disable every single enabled partner as well.

However, clicking on 300 little buttons to opt out of is an absurd demand. There is, thankfully, a shortcut, using your browser’s developer tools.

What you want to do is open the web console. In Firefox, you do it like this: click the little menu in top right, then go down to where it says Web Developer:

Then, click the Web Console option:

This will open up the web console in the bottom of the screen. It will have a bunch of messages in it that you can ignore:

As shown, what we want to do is copy and paste some JavaScript code into this, then hit ‘enter’, which will make the browser simulate a mouseclick on every single one of these little buttons and thereby turn them all off. The code is this:

var rows = document.getElementsByClassName("vendor-options")[0].children; for (var i = 0; i < rows.length; i++) {rows[i].lastChild.firstChild.click();}

If you’re not familiar with JavaScript, let me briefly explain what this is doing. The first line finds the part of the page with all the buttons in it - specifically, the rows in the table of vendors, which is identified by the “vendor-options”. The second line goes through each of them one by one, and for each row of the table, goes inside and finds the button, and simulates a click on it.

If it works correctly, you will abruptly scroll to the bottom of the page and all those little buttons will slide to the ‘greyed out’ position. Now you can go ahead and click Done, click the OK button, and carry on using Tumblr, trusting that if they keep their word, they won’t share your data with those 300 companies.

I’m gonna chat with the New XKit devs to see if this can be added (they may already be working on it). But I hope this saves you some time.

Note also - this is not actually compliant with the new GDPR laws. The rule is that you have to explicitly opt in to letting companies use your data, you can’t have a list of default opt-ins behind a button like this. At some point, somebody will hopefully sue Yahoo/Oath and establish that in court. In the meantime, let’s keep our data to ourselves.

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secondfiddle · 8 years

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How to, like, write cover letters and resumes and know what jobs to apply to and shit.

Basically I have been blessed to be close to people who work in hiring and were very, very willing to pass along their knowledge and tips and since a lot of people I know on here seem mystified by these things, I will share my vast wealth of knowledge with you*

*Some of this knowledge might be contradicted by specifics from your own field. If you’re a chemical engineer some of these things might not apply and that’s fine. This is just ~*widely applicable*~ stuff.

Cover Letters

Cover letters are the stupidest part of a job application. The cover letter is really only there to show two things: 1) That you have a command of language that is both accurate and appropriate; 2) you read the job listing.

Your cover letter should be short. The hirer has likely read hundreds that day, and by read, I mean “skimmed over lightly.” You don’t need to fill up an entire page.

It should only contain pertinent information. Do not try to be cutesy or “creative” unless the job listing SPECIFICALLY asks for that. Trust me, I’ve had to hire people. Those people’s letters got passed around for mocking. DO NOT BE THAT PERSON.

It should speak to the job listing, but only enough that it shows that you read it. If the job listing emphasizes that they’re looking for somebody who is willing to work odd hours, throw in a line that in your past experience you have been noted for being flexible with time. It doesn’t need a Faulkner-length explanation.

If you know the name of the person to whom the letter is addressed, address it to them. If you it is a blind application, you don’t need to put “To Whom It May Concern” or “Dear Sir/Madam;” just don’t say anything.

Stop freaking out about it. Seriously, your CL is not nearly as scary as you think it is. If you want to see a screenshot if an example cover letter that is a “catch all,” click here. I just pulled this out of my ass for a fictional job/person.

Resumes

Your resume is not an “employment record.” Unless you have no experience, it should only list the things that are the most impressive or demonstrate your abilities the clearest.

If you have an “Objective” on your resume, take it off. All of the employers I know said, “We KNOW your objective—you want the job! It just takes up space.”

Always make sure that your resume is formatted cleanly and with maximum readability in mind. I strongly, strongly suggest visiting this link to see how to format your resume best. Visual cleanliness matters.

Your resume should be ONE page. Just one. Not two or more.

You can’t lie on your resume; you can learn how to make things sound more impressive. If you worked at a hair salon cleaning up, don’t say “Swept floors.” Instead write, “Contributed to the efficiency and cleanliness of the salon by sweeping floors.” It sounds like bullshit to you, but to a prospective employer, it sounds like you’re happy being part of a team. Try to describe what you did in at least 7 words.

You can divide your resume if you want to highlight certain experiences over others. Making two sections such as “Relevant Experience” and “Other Experience” breaks it up, allows the reader to skip around, and let’s you highlight what you want to highlight.

Learn to weed things out. Unless you can make it look like it taught you something huge, don’t waste the space. At the same time, if a job sucked but you can make it appear like it really impacted you, use it. This is not the truth about how you felt about that last job. This is you advertising yourself. You’re trying to get a job, not a Nobel Prize for emotional honesty.

Now, what about the Skills section? You should have one, but as one friend said, “Nobody gives a shit if you went to France and had a great time. What we care about is if you’re proficient in French.” That should be your metric for things:

Only list experiences that would aid you in this job or a similar one—not things that were “cool.” This is the place for things that you’ve learned but perhaps can’t tie to a job. Examples: foreign language skills, clerical training, courses/certifications, etc.

List all of the software that you know. Even if it doesn’t seem relevant to that job, weird things happen. List any MS Office/equivalent software, if you are familiar with both Mac and PC, any graphics editing software you know…

SOCIAL MEDIA IS A THING THAT YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY MAKE KNOWN. To people ~30 and under, social media seems like a given. But to many employers, it’s a mystical world filled with equal amounts of marketing opportunities and terror. Make it clear what social networking sites you know how to use—obviously Facebook and Twitter, but also LinkedIn, Pinterest, Tumblr, etc.

Applying to Jobs/Interviewing

Unfortunately, I can give you less specific advice here because we are not likely working in the same field—but here are just some general things to file away:

If there’s a job listing that you feel qualified for but the listing says it wants more years of experience than you have, apply anyway. Those employers are unlikely to find that unicorn that has 4+ years of experience and is willing to work basically minimum wage. While more experience is a plus, they really just want somebody who can do the job. When it comes to applying to jobs, you really have nothing to lose by applying to anything that tickles your fancy.

Interviewing is an entire post unto itself, but I’ll give you the tips that I’ve been given by my people: be calm, be on time, and ask good questions. Always have some questions lined up, even if you already know the answer. “What are you looking for in the right candidate?” is a good example, or “Are there opportunities for growth within the company?” etc.

Accepting a Job

So you got a job offer; exciting! Before you immediately accept, really vet the place to make sure it’s somewhere you’d like to work. Months of unemployment make you desperate, but sometimes jumping at the first opportunity it isn’t worth it. THIS HAPPENED TO ME, LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES.

Things you should think about:

Do I know ALL things about the job, including: what I will be paid/how often, if there are benefits and when I get them, what hours I am working, how overtime is handled, how sick time is handled, etc. These are all incredibly important to know and if your employer is legitimate they will welcome you asking them.

Is the distance commutable, or is it too far from home? (Think about how transit/gasoline will cut into your paycheck.)

Does the job give me the time necessary to do other important things?

Does the office environment seem like one I can spend at least six months in? (Every month at a bad job feels like an eternity—if you have bad feelings, trust them.)

Does the job offer me anything besides a paycheck? Will I be learning any skills at this job or making important connections that can help me down the road?

IMPORTANT: If an employer tries to give you a W-9 tax form upon your hiring and you are NOT a freelancer (independent contractor), RUN. This is tax fraud and is very messy and is entirely there to screw you. Become familiar with the legal definition of a freelancer so you know if you’re walking into a shady place. It happens more than you’d think, and it sucks, and is weird.

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message or whatever, I’ll gladly answer to the best of my ability! GO GET ‘EM.

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secondfiddle · 8 years

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This is a matter very close to my heart. I have bipolar I disorder and ADHD as a result of bipolar. There aren’t many big posts about studying with mental illnesses so I figured I would compile a huge list of tips and posts! I’m going to be making a video about this very soon. I hope for all of you struggling that this can help or at least remind you that mental health is more important than school sometimes. Take care of yourself in any way you can. lets get started…

Studying with Mental Illness

Take things slowly. Don’t be afraid to take a week doing one assignment. Making sure that you can focus on assignments can be draining so breaking them down day by day can truly help you. Make a task list with each portion of an assignment mapped out so that you can see exactly what you need to do. I know that i get overwhelmed very easily and seeing smaller things is less daunting then having a list full of HUGE things like research papers and midterms. Seeing it as “write paragraph one” or “review unit one vocab” makes everything less scary.

Nothing has to be pretty. Notes don’t, papers don’t have to be perfect, study guides don’t need to be colorful and cute. What really matters is getting things done. My mom always tells me “even an F is better than a zero” which is so true. Turning things in late is not shameful because you are still turning it in. You still did it and that is something to be proud of.

Study somewhere other than your room or your house. Make sure there are people there. Surrounding yourself with others will allow you to feel less isolated and sometimes more motivated to do things. You can’t take naps when you’re at a Panera or Starbucks either. People can be motivating, they can remind you that you are not alone, they can hold you accountable for what you have to do. Get out of your bed where you can sit and stare at the wall and go to a coffee shop or the library where other people are doing work. This always helps me get on track.

Study in short bursts. Don’t wear yourself out with work. Find out when your concentration peaks and go with that. I usually work the best around 2pm so I have to make sure that I have eaten and showered before then so that I can capture that time to focus on my studies.

Don’t beat yourself up. Studying just takes a lot more effort other days when depression hits you the worst. There might be days when you can barely get yourself out of bed but know that you do have the ability to succeed and that depression just has to suck sometimes.

Get yourself out of bed. Shower. Change your clothes. Read a single page. Look at only one thing you have to do so you aren’t overwhelmed. That is something to be proud of and know that I am proud of what you did!

Study in a routine style. Let yourself have a routine that you can fall into. Try pomodoros or study games, Create a routine that you can stick to

If you don’t feel like doing anything… work for 5 minutes. You may feel more motivated or up, or you will at least be able to say that you have done something.

HYDRATE. I’m really awful at drinking a lot of water, but it helps so much with both anxiety and depression. Water keeps you moving and awake. SO drink that H2O guys

Helpful Links

Staying Sane on Campus

Tips to stay mentally and emotionally healthy while you study

How to school when mentally Ill

A student’s guide to coping with PTSD

Study and Mental Health

Back to School with Mental Illness

Depression

Studying with Depression

Depression study tips

Studying through Depression

6 Tips To Get Motivated When You’re Feeling Depressed

Five Ways To Deal With Depression During Exams

Anxiety

Anxiety in Grad school

Dealing with Stress and Anxiety

Studying with Anxiety

Get Ready for School If You Suffer From Anxiety

Living & Studying with Anxiety

Tips on studying with Anxiety

Exams & Anxiety

ADHD

How to succeed with ADHD

10 Study tips for ADHD students

ADHD Studyblr masterpost

Apps for ADHD Students

I couldn’t find any resources about OCD, BPD, PTSD (found one jk), or bipolar for that fact so keep on the lookout for any additions to this post if I find anything more! If all else fails, just google things. That always helps me. Message me personally if you have any questions about my struggles or need some specific advice! I love you all so much and I am so proud of you!! xx Haley

UPDATE: I’ve added quite a few new links!!!

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secondfiddle · 8 years

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A Note on Magical Word Structure

While scanning through a lot of magic posts on tumblr, I’ve seen a lot of tags misusing suffixes. In particular “-mancy” gets used as a general term for magic works, I guess because it just sounds mystical in nature. As someone deeply in love with facts and the English language, such misappropriations van be a little off putting. With one simple search, it would be immediately and obviously revealed that -mancy specifically refers to forms of divination; i.e. cartomancy, the use of cards in divination.

The obvious exception is of course, ‘necromancy’. The term actual literally means ‘conferring with the dead as a mean to divine answers’, but modern media has bastardized the word into encompassing a strange hodgepodge of dark arts involving corspes. This is wholey inaccurate, and probably is the single reason for that abuse of -mancy. However, the fact that we study eclectic wisdom not typically included in modern academia, is no excuse to abandon higher study practices and formal education. And so, I present a brief list of suffixes and how they can and are applied to magic.

-Mancy: A form of divination.

(CRYSTALLOMANCY: Divination by crystal gazing.)

-Graphy: Writing or feild of study.

(TASSEOGRAPHY: Study of tea leaves)

-Tion: Action of.

(INCANTATION: Act of chanting.)

-Ology: Study of.

(NUMEROLOGY: Study of numbers.)

-Ism: Practice or system of.

(MYSTICISM: Practising mystic arts.)

-Ry: Occupation of.

(PALMISTRY: Work of reading palms.)

-Ic: Having characteristics of.

-Scopy/Scope: Examination of.

(HOROSCOPE: Examination of a time.)

-Sis: Action, state, condition, or process of.

(TELEKINESIS: Process of long distance psychic interaction.)

-Magy: A form of magic.

The suffix -Magy would be a much more logical end to a custom word describing a practice of magic, and far better than the overused -mancy. For instance, magic with technology would become ‘technomagy’. Magic involving thoughtforns would become ‘tulpamagy’. It’s a slight change in spelling and pronunciation, but a huge shift in meaning.

I hope this will clear up some confusion on not only naming of magic practises, but also understanding the meaning of names of existing practices. As always, I’ll update this post as I find more useful ideas, and I’ll probably also make an extensive list of magic related studies and words for reference purposes.

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secondfiddle · 8 years

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Tailoring your own clothes

So a little while back, I reblogged a post about tailoring your own clothes. The gist of it was this (IIRC):

Someone was wondering why even people on TV with non-mainstream-TV-approved body shapes always look so good in their clothes.

The long and short of it is: their bodies aren’t better than yours. They just have people tailoring every single piece of clothing they wear to flatter their figures.

Off-the-rack clothes aren’t made to look good on most people’s bodies. The advice in the post was buy clothes that fit the largest part of you, even if they’re too big elsewhere, and have them altered to fit.

That post hit me like a lightning bolt. I have a curvy figure. I’m not plus-sized, but I’ve got a small waist and large hips. Which is great in certain types of clothes (dresses, mainly), but means that if I don’t wear fitted t-shirts or blouses–if they fall straight–I just look sort of… boxy. I need clothes that go in at the waist.

My grandma was an amazing seamstress, so when I needed clothes fixed, she was around to tailor them. When she got into her 90s and her eyesight was too diminished for her to sew, we started going to a woman in our neighborhood who’d lost her husband and had started doing alterations to bring in some extra income. OF COURSE I looked good back then. I had a tailor.

Then I moved away from my parents without really knowing How To Adult and would go to Target to get clothes and just get depressed by them and never realized how much of an advantage having people who could tailor my clothes (and, you know, parents to pay for having them tailored…) had been.

So. I have a 1970s Singer Fashion Mate sewing machine that is designed to weather the apocalypse–I got it at Goodwill for $20.

And I have begun researching how to tailor your own clothes. If anyone else was wondering about that after that last post, here are some helpful links I’ve discovered.

When and Why to Get it Tailored - This article is (annoyingly) set up as a slideshow, and focuses on getting a professional to do your alterations rather than doing them yourself, but it’s got some good advice nonetheless, such as:

Basic alterations that can make a huge difference, such as adding lingerie loops to keep bra straps in place (SERIOUSLY MY FAVORITE DRESSES FROM HIGH SCHOOL ALL HAD THESE AND WHY DID THEY DISAPPEAR IN EVERYTHING I WEAR NOW?), adding snaps between the buttons on button-down shirts for larger-busted women (you know how sometimes they gap? there’s help for that), etc.

Average prices (at least on the East Coast) for basic alterations: replacing a zipper will run you about $20, while tailoring pants or a skirt to fit your hips and butt will be about $35.

If you want to get a garment made of special materials (leather, fur, beaded/embroidered silk) altered, go to someone who specializes in working with that material.

What NOT to try to alter.

How to find a tailor.

Having that perfect dress that you love so much duplicated and how much that will cost.

Learning Alterations - Great step-by-step tutorials on basic alterations like how to take in the waist of jeans (essential if you have a smaller waist and larger hips, because it’ll stop them from riding down every time you bend over or sit down).

Tailoring Ready-to-Wear - A full-on online course from Craftsy (costs $24.99) with videos and individual lessons on everything from hemming pants to lengthening them to altering shoulders and armholes to adding hidden zippers.

Plus-Sized Fitting and Design - Another online course (this one’s $34.99) that looks like it focuses both on alterations and on actually making clothes that are flattering to plus-sized forms.

Alterations and Tailoring 101 - Not a how-to post, but this one has a lot of useful information and ideas, such as identifying which garments to alter.

Alterations Needed blog - A whole blog on this stuff, with a lot of detailed how-tos. It focuses on fixing things to fit if you’re shorter than average/petite, but contains a lot of great advice for anyone (like an entry on why button-down shirts often bulge in back and how to fix it).

Pinch and Pin your Shirt - Super-quick video tutorial (aimed at gentlemen), but useful for anyone who wears button-down shirts on how to fix a baggy shirt.

If I find other helpful tutorials, I’ll add them. If you know of any, please let me know!

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secondfiddle · 8 years

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How To Get A Job Fast As Hell

@owenabbott

Apply to a job, wait (1) day, then call. Give them your first and last name. Tell them you submitted an application and that you’re very motivated to find [Enter field name] work. Let the conversation lead you wherever it takes. Be very polite. Say” thank you for your time, I’ll be looking forward to hearing back from you.” Rinse, repeat. This is to force them to be looking out for your application.

When you get to the interview, shake their hand firmly, tell them your first and last name.

Describe your experiences as “ two years transcription and data entry” if you have a desk job interview and “ [however many years] costumer service, retail and stock” for your retail jobs.

Don’t use job “ buzz words” I stg they hear them all day. Say things like, “ I’m detail oriented and am very good at taking instruction.” “ I would like to work for a company with integrity and I feel that [ company name] would be a good fit”

When they ask you if you have “reliable transportation” say YES. don’t tell them what kind of transportation, just say yes. (if you don’t do this, you wont get the job , I’m telling you right now).

Research the company. Know what they do, why they do it, how OLD the company is. WHERE it was founded, and what kind of position you’re intending to apply for.

When they ask you “ give us a situation where you had to blah blah blah” Make one the fuck up. Make yourself sound good as hell, and like you put your company’s needs slightly above the customer’s needs, but make the customer happy.

If they ask you about being outgoing, Say you “like to focus on your work so you can concentrate on doing things right” (which buys you out of having to act friendly all the time)

Questions for after the interview:

1. Does this position offer upward mobility?

2. Do you enjoy working for the company? (if you’re not interviewing for a temp agency who will send you anywhere)

Then, shake their hand, Ask them to repeat their name (REMEMBER THIS) say thank you for your time, wish them a nice day and leave. write their name down outside if you have to, just remember the fuck out of it.

AFTER your interview, send a card directed to the name of the person who interviewed you (I’ll give you them) that says “Thank you for the interview, I appreciate the opportunity. have a great day” This shows that you have an understanding of professionalism, and will have them thinking of you kindly (or at least remembering you) when they’re shuffling through the choices.

DO NOT tell them you just moved to the city over the phone. In person, tell them you just moved to the city. Make it sound like the only reason you need a job is because you moved. Not because you’re desperate.

__________

The titles of each section are key words you can use to search for jobs on Snagajob.com and Simplyhired.

Data Entry:

http://citystaffing.com/job/data-entry-specialistsmailroom-clerk/?utm_source=Indeed&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=Indeed

https://www.roberthalf.com/officeteam/job-search/chicago-il/data-entry-clerks-needed/43517752?codes=IND

http://www.simplyhired.com/job/data-entry-specialists-job/chicago-transit-authority/jepfivkhjk?cid=udsowkxtausyzitcfeecaeuzoxkltmbl

https://jobs-theprivatebank.icims.com/jobs/3435/temporary—data-entry/job?mode=job&iis=SimplyHired&iisn=SimplyHired&utm_source=simplyhired&utm_medium=jobclick&mobile=false&width=792&height=500&bga=true&needsRedirect=false&jan1offset=-360&jun1offset=-300

Front Desk:

http://localjobs.joblur.com/jobapplication2/?jobid=99957&subaffid=300006&JobType=Food%20/%20Bev%20/%20Hosp&ix=1&c1=99957

https://jobs.ajg.com/job/-/-/109/1256110?apstr=%26src%3DJB-10280

https://pepper.hiretouch.com/job-search/job-details?jobID=32066&job=receptionist

http://accesscommunityhealth.hodesiq.com/jobs/default.aspx?JobID=5203566 (this one is close to the place you rented.)

http://ihg.taleo.net/careersection/all/jobdetail.ftl?job=R113601&lang=en&media_id=24863&src=Indeed&src=JB-10920

https://covalentcareers.com/employer/listing/86450f8517588197c9b04f5068ed4300/detail/?apply=1&ref=indeed&v=30&utm_source=indeed&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=indeed_optical

http://www.careerbuilder.com/jobseeker/jobs/jobdetails.aspx?APath=2.21.0.0.0&job_did=JHN0KY6823WBWZX21VM&showNewJDP=yes&IPath=JRKV0F

http://www.simplyhired.com/job/front-desk-receptionist-customer-service-sales-job/rosin-optical-co-inc/qaeoquzgdi?cid=ivdnhijkmxchdanahwfoupazcwisfnxt

http://www.simplyhired.com/job/receptionist-front-desk-job/all-us-jobs/fonj7wmldf?cid=trhyvmfcsgjltxkjxkemyinsjveewfjp

Other jobs you don’t need a degree for that aren’t retail:

Dental hygenist ( yeah, seriously, who knew!) They also make about 40,000 a year)

Stenographer-Court Reporter

Surveyer ( you need a certificate for this, but its something you can get while working a temporary job and doing this on the side. Also, they make like $55,000 a year sooooooo) https://sjobs.brassring.com/TGWEbHost/jobdetails.aspx?jobId=1406428&PartnerId=16023&SiteId=5118&codes=IND

Real Estate Broker

Purchasing agents, except wholesale, retail, and farm products ( basically you arrange to buy large things) they make like 60K

Claims adjuster

Loan Officer

Subway driver (trains) they make like 60K,

Duct Cleaner: http://jobview.monster.com/Duct-Cleaners-950-00-Weekly-Entry-Level-Flexible-Hours-Call-to-Apply-Job-Chicago-IL-US-161970321.aspx?intcid=re

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