secondwind17

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Happy 21st, Raccoon!

FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.

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FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.

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FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.

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Every word that starts with an N should have a silent G in front. Gnorway. Gnuclear. Gnervous system. Gnipples.

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i can't vibe with anyone who thinks icarus was an ignorant idiot for flying too close to the sun. "oh i'd never do that i would have remembered my father's warning and been fine". do you seriously think that after years of imprisonment, feeling the sun on your face and the open air beneath your wings, you would be able to focus on anything but the joy of being alive and free? do you actually think that if you were given the opportunity to go where nobody has never been before, you wouldn't want to push it to the limit? to dare to be the first to try what no one else has ever even thought possible? do you honestly think you're too good for your own human nature? look me in the eyes and tell me if i strapped a pair of wings to your back that could take you wherever you wanted to go whenever you pleased that you'd be careful and sensible about it. you are not better than icarus just because you have the benefit of his example.

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for the record this IS an apple hate zone yes I have an android phone yes I have a bulky PC with its own USB port yes I use wired headphones. you can go ahead and try to fight me on it but keep in mind how scrappy I must be considering I’m broke as shit and have nothing to lose and can guarantee my phone screen won’t shatter in the brawl

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sometimes someone isn’t “toxic,” they’re just “abrasive.” or “mutagenic” or “highly flammable,” and you should always check their material safety data sheet to be sure

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whoa

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Pokémon NPCs in gens 1-8: Pokémon are such wonderful creatures <3

Pokémon NPCs in Legends Arceus: POKÉMON ARE TERRIFYING. THEY PISSED ON MY WIFE, DO YOU HEAR ME? THEY PISSED ON MY FUCKING WIFE

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if you manage to run across this line without falling into any of the adjacent states, they let you pee in the white house whenever you want

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ITS MARCH YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

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get flipped idiot

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internet ransom note where instead of magazine letters it’s just jpgs of letters found on google