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[This idea has been rattling in my brain and I had to share it.]

I know we all love the ‘humans are space orcs’ concept… but imagine, onboard the new ship they’ve been assigned to, the human meets an actual space orc. A massive monster… fangs and tusks and scars and a battle-hardened stare, looming over all the other life forms on the ship in its thick indestructible armour it refuses to remove. It barely drinks, it doesn’t need sleep, its massive shoulders are heavy with the terrible things it has experienced. Compared to the squishy & delicate human body, this thing is a walking tank.

… Except instead of hating/ignoring one another, the human and the monster start bonding over both coming from death planets. The human is excited to find a life form who doesn’t quiver with fear at the vague description of a jellyfish and the monster is ecstatic to meet someone who understands the feeling of being bitten by a qua’lem (cats are pretty close). They sit together and compare dangerous animals and locations as the other aliens look on in confusion and fear… oh, you also have dense jungles of deadly hidden predators, boiling acid lakes, tamed predatory killers, and areas with horrendously high and low temperatures? Sick!! 

It doesn’t take long before the two of them become totally inseparable. The human loves not feeling like some kind of crazy outsider and the monster is overjoyed they’ve finally found an equal in this unkillable marshmallow.

Monster: When I was a youngling, a grol-lik stung straight through my armour. The pain lasted for approximately 16 human hours. Human: Oh yeah man, I get that. As a kid I got a wasp stuck in my shirt. It stung me like four times, it was awful, and all my cousins just laughed at me… Monster: [using their arm screen to research human courting methods] I see.

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“My lord, I know you are the demon lord and I am but a lowly advisor, but please listen to me. I suggest that instead of sending the hero slightly stronger demons to kill each time, we just send the strongest one right away”

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my sleeping pills just kicked in heavily and im genuinely on the verge of tears because i for some reaon remembered a misprint in a 1980s newspaper that switched the captions between Far Side and Dennis the Menace

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thranduil sleeps calmer knowing even if his son married a dwarf at least he married The Supermodel dwarf and singlehandedly crushed the hopes of single dwarves and dwarrowdams everywhere

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All-New Wolverine #1

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Batman: Gotham Adventures #26

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The Robot Apocalypse came. Cities are empty, you stayed since you’re almost out of insulin and will die soon anyway. The robots find you and while processing you one of them sees your insulin pump and asks if you want to apply for dual citizenship, since the pump technically makes you a cyborg.

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Narrative Town

Summary: You don’t ever want to be the main character. In your town, that’s deadly. Someone has to warn the new kid. 

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Someone has got to tell the new kid in town the Rules.

“Hey,” you say.

The new kid looks up at you. He’s sitting at his desk in the back corner of the classroom, right next to the windows. It’s a chilly day, but he’s got the window open so that the breeze ruffles his curly, black hair. “What’s up? Fern, right?”

“Don’t call me by my name,” you snarl. Then, realizing what you’ve done, you look over your shoulder. The other teenagers are still looped around the teacher’s desk, trying to get Ms. Slauson to move the test date so they could organize a welcome part for the new kid. “I need to talk to you. Privately.”

The new kid leans back in his chair and studies you. You know what he sees – a completely average high school girl in jeans, a sweatshirt, and a ponytail. There’s nothing remarkable about you. He tilts his head. “You don’t look like a bully.”

You frown. “I’m not.”

“You’re being awfully threatening,” he says in a drawl.

The accent is going to be a problem. It’s southern and sounds really cool. Honestly, it might be too late for him already.

But you still have to try.

“Meet me on the rooftop—no!” You press the heel of one hand against your eye. Fight it, you tell yourself. Fight it! “Meet me at the supermarket on Western Street. The dairy aisle. After school.”

“Okay…?”

You spin on your heel, head throbbing. Meeting on the rooftop is against the rules. You glance up at the ceiling uneasily. You’re not usually affected by the compulsion so badly. Are you being targeted?

If you were smart, you wouldn’t show up to the meeting. You’d just let the guy get sucked into the madness on his own.

But you also really need to buy some milk.

Keep reading

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I love drawing cute scenes.

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Microstory

The demon looked around. There was a summoning sigil drawn in the ruddy sand, but nobody… It shifted its perception to the spiritual plane. Ah. A dust devil. “Why hast thou-” “A battery.” “A battery?” The demon looked around. “What need for a battery on Mars?” “For our friend.”

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Microstory

A roiling sea of anguish, anger, annoyance; raw emotion churning like burning sewage. “This,” The Void said, “is where I put the screams I am given.” “I thought they just went away.” “Eventually. I don’t mind storing them here until they fade.” “It’s ugly. And beautiful.” “Yes.”

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Microstory

“Spaghetti carbonara,” the ensign said, “overcooked.” “Why?” said his friend. “The replicator could make it perfect.” “I know.” “Do you think it’s tastier when it’s overcooked?” “No, not really.” “Then why?” “It reminds me of home. That’s how grandma made it.”

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Microstory

“Fear not, fair maiden,” the knight said, “I shall free you.” “Go away,” said the woman, “I’m bait.” “What?” “This is the dragon’s clever plan to meet you.” “Meet me?” “Yes, he saw you fight someone and was smitten.” “He did? I mean, he was?” “Go!” “This dragon, is he handsome?”

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Prompt: After a lackluster 1st year as a Hero, you’re ready to go rogue. The problem is that the new guy in the team is definitely onto you.

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You, the queen of a fairy tale kingdom, got cursed to give birth to a princess who’s going to live her life isolated in a tower the first 20 years of her life. Narrate how you avoid your daughter’s fate.

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“Lie close,” Laura said, Pricking up her golden head: “We must not look at goblin men, We must not buy their fruits: Who knows upon what soil they fed Their hungry thirsty roots?”

A wolf goes for a walk in the woods and meets a dog for the first time

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if you don’t know the difference between a hare and a rabbit you’ve never gazed into the cold wild eyes of a hare and known that if it could speak it would speak backwards