Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Note
Just left the longest comment ever on your Lee Tang fic. Thank you, again. I’m not great with words, but I really connected with your plus!reader. It really meant something to me to read about someone with my body type being desired. Plus the sex scene was fire. And the detail about the pre-fuck butterflies. I haven’t had sex in so long-I completely forgot about that feeling. That’s how I know you be fuckingggg 😂 it’s always the little details
I have no words.
You have no idea how much I appreciate your comment. I did that fic with a lot of love so it makes me emotional whenever I see someone truly liking it.
It was my first time writing a long fic and I pushed myself into finishing it because I fell in love with the series plot. I wanted to give up while doing it but now I'm happy I didn't because it became one of the fics I'm the proudest of.
Thank you for your comment and even reaching out to me through my inbox, I won't forget this 🩷🩷🩷
(btw I haven't fucked in years lmao)
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
This is pretty important and objective. I fear, out of rage, I might've done unthoughtful comments generalizing protesters as if the people who sent the funeral arrangements were the only ones that exist.
I'm sorry about this, taking into account were I am from, I should've known better.
Still, I'm glad that the fact of this being a death wish or death threat act has been spoken about.
Sorry guys, if I make comments in the future I'll try to not loose my calm again, and let's continue supporting the boycott!
BY THE WAY, i did a quick research (quick tw//mentions of death threats and some political stuff)
do korean people really use funeral wreaths to make a statement? most of you must’ve seen the tweets where they argue “but we do the same for politicians, sports, and everything else!” well the answer, unsurprisingly, is no— they do not!
political protests mainly consist of the person themselves, a placard, and sometimes a (battery-operated) candlelight or a flag/banner. they hold these protests at a high regard, so resorting to something as low as a “death threat” could easily render their points invalid. koreans have a longstanding history with political protests, having successfully staged student uprisings, worker unions, and coups against political figures. the latest protests they’ve made date as recent as september 2024, with the korean people protesting for an effective response against climate change.
so yes, koreans value their protests a lot but they are smart about it. some protests even last a year or so, one recent and infamous case was against their former, president park geunhye. there are a series of protests dubbed the candlelight rallies for their use of candlelight for a peaceful protest. these protests stemmed from an incident back in 2002, the yangju highway incident, and the candlelight vigils were meant to mourn the victims while also protesting their unjust deaths. they continued to use this type of protests for more unjust deaths as well as to make a political statement.
now, sports are a huge deal in korea just like americans are with their soccer. the biggest and most important protest that had anything to do with sports was the 1988 june democratic struggle. the protests and uprisings were mainly to overthrow the dictatorship they were under, resulting in a revision of the constitution, stating that the single term presidency only lasts for five years, preventing another event of a dictatorship. (i kinda skipped over a lot of the details, especially the one related with sports, but if you’re interested, it’s a good read and it does remind me of the people power revolution in the philippines.)
you might be asking now— what do funeral wreaths have to do with korean history and protests? there really isn’t… like i mentioned, korean people mainly use placards and a candlelight to portray their messages. why? because sending death threats would render their points invalid because it's a poor attempt at intimidation and a wish for someone's early demise, which would not help their case if the people want to be heard.
funeral wreaths cost a lot of time and money to make and it’s impractical to use as a protest material because you would think that there’d be a lot of people joining, there’s no space for the wreaths to be seen, and, honestly, a large group of people is enough to garner the attention of anyone so the use of wreaths isn’t necessarily important.
from what i’ve gathered, wreath protests are popular amongst the korean industry, even dating back to a year ago where pentagon fans sent cube wreaths, demanding the company for a comeback. although, no, it’s not a funeral wreath. it’s the usual flower wreath that you would see when someone is being congratulated.
some fandoms that have sent funeral wreaths are tokkis and flovers for hybe. they mainly address these towards the company rather than an individual, since they argue that it is meant to be a protest with the intention of a better treatment for their artist. (personal disclaimer: i do not agree nor condone the act of sending funeral flowers even if it's directed towards a company. there will always be a better way to protest and have your demands met.)
the only instance i know of where “fans” sent funeral wreaths with malicious intent towards an individual are for suga, following his dui incident, and seunghan, for returning to his own group. considering the context in which these funeral wreaths are being used— no, there is no other way to view it as anything else but a death threat or wishing death upon the receiver.
one can argue that funeral wreaths don't necessarily mean wishing death upon someone alive. however, they made it abundantly clear with the messages they put on the banners alongside with the tweets wanting him to just "disappear" and leave the group, or to stop leeching/freeloading off of the other six members' achievements. so no, they don't have any other way to spin this. it's malicious intent. they also doubled down by dancing in front of the wreaths so like,,
"but you can't possibly know better than korean people themselves!" that's also true and i'm not claiming to do so. this was mainly written to bring some value into actual protests that were held by korean people, ones that brought change to their country while also debunking the claims that korean people have been doing wreath protests for years now.
i think it's disgraceful to have them be generalized as unreasonable and hateful protesters, or people with a backwards mentality, all because a select few can't accept a young man who dated before he debuted. whether sm entertainment likes it or not, all eyes are on them and people are not happy with what's going on.
with koreans being so deeply rooted with their culture, they should know better what funeral wreaths symbolize. also, here’s a fun read about how impractical and wasteful the overuse of flower wreaths are, you can take what you want from it.
#Thank you for taking the time to do such investigation!#There's nothing better than we all informing ourselves from objective/formal sources
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hey guys, hope you're all okay with the current situation.
After a couple days, I'm finally more level-headed to talk about this without crying, so I wanted to make a little announcement.
I'll close this blog until new notice, I'm supporting the boycott, and yes, I still love the boys.
I know for some people the boycott seems useless since Seunghan already left, and I'll be fr with you all. Now, I don't know if I (emphasis on I) want him back. What happened was traumatizing in so many ways, I just want him to breathe and get better. I'd love it if he came back, but after everything that happened, I only hope he can be happy, regardless of what his decision is.
Still, I find the boycott extremely important because this has become a precedent I don't want to see again.
Over the years being an SM stan I've seen uncountable times how the company has done nothing to support their artists, and I don't want to support such a useless place anymore.
Being an older fan I'm thankful that my boys have careers stable enough to not depend entirely on the company, but even like that, my older boys (Suho, Chanyeol, Xiumin) have talked about how the company has mistreated them despite the time they have there, which makes me think that SM might be genius at finding talents, but they have no idea how to treat them.
What I'm talking about is not my imagination at all. In the past, cases like Henry, JYJ, F(x) and others have been handled like shit, and I simply don't want the rest of Riize to go through that. As I said, there are precedents, and Seunghan's case is merely one more on the list for them.
Yes, they're a big entertainment company, they'll never be affected by one member leaving since they can simply not care and they'll continue making a ton of money. They could easily find a replacement, or even worse, create another group and forget about all of them (No one will ever make me forget f(x) so don't pretend it hasn't happened). And we've seen that it doesn't matter what we think, they'll continue with their own thing if we're not loud enough (Yes, I understand the concept of obligations, but to have contractual obligations doesn't mean they can continue moving in silence). The boycott, in no way, it's the only way fans have tried to make their feelings clear. It's the last resort to be loud enough.
Honestly, I never expected things to get so out of control. I thought it would be like Chen's case. Maybe a little noise and then things would continue with presentations of Riize as 7 like nothing, as if this was just one of the things we'd remember as a fandom but finally move on from.
Of course, we've seen that this idea was extremely wrong.
I considered common sense like reason enough for Seunghan to come back, and that blinded me into not considering that: 1) Seunghan was still a rookie without stable years of trajectory with a fandom way younger and immature, and 2) Common sense is not an objective or strong enough fundament on which a conclusion could be developed from.
I might sound dumb or pretentious as fuck in that last sentence, but the translation of it is just: I didn't consider those crazy assholes would send a hundred funeral wreaths and bully Seunghan until he left (Only because he dated a girl before debut. Let's be honest, the cigarette was never the cause of this hate.)
This whole post might sound like an order to boycott, but I have no control over anyone's actions as much as no one can't control mine. We, in the end, are free to do whatever we want. I won't judge people who will continue consuming SM's content (let's not forget, Riize's content IS SM's content) as much as no one should judge me for deciding to support the boycott. We all have our own reasons, morals, and values, and that's something I appreciate a lot from the fact that we as people (I deeply hope we all) have the freedom to decide how to act for our own wishes. And, as much as I appreciate my freedom to do what I want, with this last resort I hope Riize gets a fraction of said freedom.
I based my decision to support this boycott on the fact that there are too many cases of SM having terrible management with their idols for years and that I don't want Riize to ever be wrongly treated by them again. First was Seunghan, bullied until he was kicked out/forced to leave, but let's not forget what happened when Anton's picture with his friend (holding hands) got leaked from her private account, and when the picture of Sohee and his friend (kissing his cheek) did too. Like this, we don't know with accuracy what other privacy could be violated tomorrow, who the affected one in the group will be, or the SK fans' reaction.
Will they be forgiven? Will they be forced to apologize? We don't know, and there's no way to conclude what the reaction will be.
I understand that all the boys are going through something delicate right now and that some people might not want to affect them more, I respect their choice to not support the boycott, but in my opinion, the situation already got out of control, and this damage might never be fixed, but the next one could be prevented.
I could continue with a whole post about SM mistakes and how useless they are, but I feel my disappointment should be directed to real action now.
I hope we all (the people who wish to support the boycott) do it better this time, and this means, no kind of interaction with Riize's new official content.
That should be the bare minimum for the case, but I'm not really someone who gets satisfied by the bare minimum.
I (again, emphasis on I) consider that there's no official content that doesn't go with this little standard. With this, I mean fanfiction, fanmade videos, and anything based on Riize's new content (even old one, but I'm a little tired of continuing this idea, you can think on your own). Therefore, I won't be writing for Riize to also support this boycott. (I know some might laugh saying You didn't even post that much anymore, well yeah that was a block but now it's a decision.)
I'm not sure when I will feel comfortable enough to write about Riize again, but I hope not much time goes by. In my case, I don't expect Seunghan back because I don't know what he's really thinking, and I deeply wish he did, but I don't want to force him to do anything he doesn't want after these traumatic events.
I could say he has to come back, but deciding to be more empathetic, I don't wish any kind of hate (and definitely not this kind of hate) over anyone, not writers, not fans, not idols, so I don't expect him to be on the public eye immediately after officially leaving the group, but I do not want to support a company that puts all their idols to this kind of risk, and I expect them to at least show they're doing something to prevent this on the future.
There's a concept I remember a lot, and it's that by doing nothing you're still risking a result. SM, being silent and non-acting, is putting all the boys at risk, and I only expect SM to prevent this invasion of privacy and damage from repeating and the situation from getting out of control again.
We, as fans, have no obligation to protect them, but SM is their employer, and as such, they have it. Yet, until now, these roles have been reversed.
I believe SM has the resources to do something, and until that happens, I hope we continue giving the message through the only way they'll listen: The boycott.
#In summary if you don't want to read the whole post: THIS BLOG IS CLOSED UNTIL NEW NOTICE#I'M SUPPORTING THE BOYCOTT#AND I WON'T BE WRITING OR INTERACTING WITH THEIR CONTENT UNLESS IT'S ABOUT THE BOYCOTT#(also)#Yes#I'll create another blog but it won't be related to riize nor will interact with their content
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
I know I haven't posted in a long time because of many reasons but I feel I should say this.
It's disheartening to see something that should've been a happy moment be twisted like this, and I can't say Seunghan is the reason I entered the fandom, but his absence was definitely one of the reasons I felt conflicted liking them for some time.
I fell in love with the group with the MV of memories because they made me feel something I hadn't in a really long time. I was sure I had outgrown my fan era but riize with their youthful concept made me feel like just a girl again. They made some of my days a lot better and helped me when I felt a little loss in life, and for that I'm grateful, but to see a young boy be hurt and lose so much just for doing things we've all done– A boy enjoying a time of his life I don't wish anyone to miss, it's too painful for me.
I understand idols have to take care of their images a lot, but Seunghan was just a boy living his own life and enjoying things I would love all the other boys to do.
Sadly these news have affected me more than I imagined and have only pushed me further into the block (not only writing, but reading too) I was having, so I'll be taking a step back from writing or interacting with any riize content for some time, if not indefinitely.
I don't know if I'll close this blog or if I'll stop writing/liking riize altogether. I've given this (even if now quite inactive) blog so much of my time I don't see myself deleting it, but I'm trying to figure out what to do because I am sehodreams, I've been sehodreams for many years, even before riize, and I never thought any group would make me be a k-pop fan again until I started liking them, but seeing my blog be full of them –god, my longest fic is Seunghan's- is honestly just too painful right now.
I'm thankful for all the lovely messages I've been getting about the fics I've done based on them. I can't believe I got so many people to follow me and like my stories, and I'm sorry for not responding to some of those messages because I felt I didn't deserve them considering I haven't been writing for quite a long time.
Somehow, this is my blog, I'm sehodreams, I've always been, but I don't feel I belong here anymore.
It hurts that I don't know if Seunghan also felt like that with the group. I wish him the best things in life and that he gets to heal these wounds. He's gone through something I don't wish any other idol, or person, go through. From now on, I hope other doors open to him, who is talented and was such a bright person. The post he did blaming himself showed how deeply affected he is, and I can't pretend things or I will be okay and give more of my time to the group.
I love the other boys, and I can't imagine what the others are feeling right now because obviously they'll be affected too. They've worked so hard to be where they are, and I'm sure they'll overcome this.
But I'm not them.
I wish them the best, but my stability is the most important thing to me, and I can't bring myself to give them the same amount of attention and time to be hurt like this.
I've already been in fandoms that have lost members, you all know I was an avid exo-l, but now I'm 23, and suddenly I'm a 13 year old girl seeing that a member of her favorite group left again because of the bad management and abuse of a company that did nothing to prevent this. I'm sorry, but there are so many things SM could've done to protect him and the others, I'm afraid this only shows there's no human treatment for them as their workers and how any situation with the others won't be correctly managed doesn't matter what we, as international fans, say or beg.
Many won't understand this, but there are precedents of the massive hate consequences and this has been added as one more. I'm afraid what the other boys will think or feel, how much they'll fear to have a normal life and the way they'll blame themselves every time something doesn't please the Korean fans.
I can't help but feel repulsed of this kind of society.
They're already under an incredibly amount of pressure because of society standards and I had hoped that after so many years at least something had changed, but instead they decide to be stuck under their most toxic traditions.
I love them, but I don't want to support this kind of treatment in any way.
I'm sorry, this is just too painful.
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
THE EARLY CELEBRATION CAN FINALLY BE CELEBRATED!
come inside of my heart



TW and Tags: all consensual, smut, fluff (corny moments, sorry), porn with plot(?), making out sessions, weird characters(?), fingering, Seunghan overthinking, mutual pining(?), corruption kink(?), p in v, oral sex (both receiving), dom!Seunghan, friends with benefits(?)(more like classmates with benefits).
WC: 14k (I’M.SO.SORRY)
Summary: Seunghan has a problem with letting people stay close to him for long, so when he meets you, he expects his interest to fade like it usually does, but this time things seem to be different.
Comment: Again, another weird story that didn’t end or go like I expected, my head it’s kind of weird while writing idk, I wanted it to be a story of Seunghan plainly fucking reader so much she couldn’t think anymore, but it still has porn. Also, I think this should be under a fantasy category because it’s so idealistic hahahaha.
Yeah, I should stop writing on my laptop because these stories have gone from 4k to 10k+ and my mind can’t take it, and I'm sorry, but after this, I'm taking at least a two-day break, I wasn't going to let it win but it did suck my whole soul, so Seunghan better comes back soon, let's think this is an early celebration.
Pd: I did a bit of proofreading but not much, only at the end because I realized that I always write everything in past, and suddenly it was all in present and it was so weird.
Seunghan, unlike what many think, gets easily bored of people.
He doesn't know if it has something to do with his mbti or whatever people talked about those days, but what he knows is that, since he was young, he’s liked to know people, but he also got quickly tired of them.
For him, it was easy to start the communication, and with that he doesn’t mean being the first one saying hello or introducing himself, he hated being the one making the first step, but he liked to be the first one doing the real questions. Seunghan would prefer to say he was naturally curious, but he wasn’t, he wanted to know what people’s hobbies and thoughts were with the purpose of learning how to behave and what to say to them, because more than curious, he liked to be liked.
There wasn’t anything he disliked more than useless problems and uncomfortable moments with people he didn’t care enough about, so for his own peace, and to maintain the harmony around him, he preferred to just please others.
He knew he had a talent not many had, making people comfortable came to him almost like breathing, and, therefore, many wanted to stay around him, but not many got the privilege of staying for long.
It was hard to keep him entertained, so it was common to see different people flying around him, whether he was the one talking or listening, it didn’t matter, people felt attracted to his presence, and he enjoyed the attention even when he didn’t say anything at all, so he let them approach him, but if they didn’t have anything else to offer than their company, he’d go and find another person that picked his interest until he got bored and repeated the cycle again. Still, even knowing they wouldn’t last long, everyone wanted to stay by his side, and they would work hard for it, but if Seunghan didn’t want them in his space, he’d softly push them away by filling their roles with other characters, and not finding their place beside him anymore, they’d slowly leave him without making a scene.
To your luck, or disgrace, you somehow had caught his interest this time.
As expected, after you caught his attention, he decided to dig as much as he could about you, however, what was unexpected, was the kind of person you were and how you caught his attention.
He had a type for everything, at his age he knew enough about what he usually liked. He liked smart opinionated people who always had something to say, he liked how being seen with them always elevated his status and profile in everyone else’s eyes, so they were most of the people that always flocked with him, and of course, that included pretty girls with energetic voices. The way they would follow the conversation with witty remarks and would understand his humour left a lingering feeling of satisfaction he tried to savour as long as he could when he flirted with them, and he couldn't deny it, he was a sucker for pretty faces, he loved the way their smiles would shine and illuminate the room, and how they matched his eagerness for the public attention.
Surprisingly, in the curse of his life, he hasn't had a ton of dates, he’s had his fair share of relationships and an impressive quantity of received confessions, but he carefully chose who to give such opportunity to before he decided to accept the other's feelings. Going out with him had to bring something into his life for him to decide they were good enough to receive his time and effort, and since he knew how easily he could get tired of them, they had to make him think that he would enjoy their presence for at least a decent period of time.
He's never had to chase anyone, he's always been the chased one, or he was until you arrived, and what bothered his mind every time he ran to you was that you weren't his style at all.
You didn’t check any of his boxes.
In first place, you weren't energetic at all. You never matched his conversations with equal happiness, you didn't understand his jokes most of the time and you didn't even try to continue the flow of his conversations. With no remarks and no comments, you'd let the contact die as soon as you could, which always itched something in the back of his head. He can even remember what your first messages looked like. He would send two or three lines of whatever went through his mind, being extremely polite to you as his classmate, wishing to be on your good side, and you would answer with the driest ok he had ever seen in his life.
Hi, just a quick question, what do you think about moving the meetings to my house? I think it'd be better for all of us since none of them would have to pay for coffee and I have everything we might need in my place, it's just something that went through my mind and I wanted to send it to the group chat but I know you live kind of far from here so I wanted to ask you first, so what do you think?
Ok
He still gets annoyed when he remembers your past messages.
In second place, you weren't the bright person he usually liked to hang out with. You would never make anyone turn back to see you twice, sometimes they wouldn't notice you even if you were in front of them, and you'd often get ignored if he didn't repeat your comments while working together, which honestly impressed him since you only talked if you had something useful to say, so he would expect others to stay silent when you showed intentions of entering the conversation, but your voice would simply get lost between everyone spitting random ideas and opinions that were rather pointless. You were still kind enough to answer each of them before everyone followed your ideas, receiving no appreciation back from anyone, and it did bother him to see that happening every meeting, hoping that at some point everyone would learn to shut up and give you your time, but it bothered him even more to see that you didn’t care if they listened to you or not.
At least, after a couple of meetings, it was almost established that his seat would be always next to you because no one, except him, found being near you important.
And last but not least, your face wasn't his type. You weren't ugly, but you weren't the prettiest girl in the room either. You were rather normal with your round brown eyes and your dark hair, unlike the girls with caramel eyes and smooth hair that always looked as if they just arrived from a hair salon appointment, you simply had no spark, and you didn't try to get one either. You would wear plain clothes with no sense of style, only thinking in your comfort instead of what others said behind your back, and he couldn’t imagine himself going hand in hand with you looking that way.
Seunghan almost never got involved with people like you, dull and boring. He was sure that if it wasn’t for the project, he wouldn’t have learned your name, and if it wasn’t for the unexpected turn of events, you’d have ended like one of the numerous faceless people in his past.
The way you slowly and effortlessly took a spot in his head was unconventional. Unlike the continuous messages and invitations most people did to get closer to him, you only did your stuff, working on your tasks and lending a hand if anyone asked for help, but it was kind of endearing how someone who looked so uninterested in everyone else and their opinions would work hard to help if needed. Even if they ignored you most of the time, you had no resentment at all, and when Seunghan asked you if you minded that they called for you that much, your answer was so short it made him analyze each of your words for days, ‘’Well, the work has to be done’’.
He wanted to know if you were a fool letting yourself be taken advantage of or if you simply wanted to end things as fast as you could, and he was inclining more into the latest seeing your blank face writing over your keyboard and yawning unbothered when most of them had left and you stayed to finish their parts because, just like you had said, I won’t open the document once I cross your door.
‘’Aren’t you mad?’’ he then asked.
‘’Not really, why would I get mad?’’ you said without stopping your work.
‘’I don’t know, I just feel like you should’’ Seunghan bit his lip and watched you skillfully go through the document introducing commas and changing words, not wanting to interrupt you but doing it anyways because he couldn’t stay with the doubt in his mind, ‘’don’t you ever get mad?’’
‘’Uhmm no’’ you answered without stopping your work, ‘’I do get mad, I don’t mind correcting other’s work on the computer, but I hate washing other’s dishes.’’
That makes sense, he thought, because you never offered yourself to help him wash everyone’s cups once they left you two alone, and he didn’t realize it until that moment, but the common thing would’ve been to at least offer yourself to take them to the kitchen, thing you never did.
Another question popped into his mind.
‘’Don’t you work in a restaurant?’’ he, after a long time, asked.
‘’Yeah’’
He laughed for days when that conversation replayed in his head.
A routine had been formed after many reunions. Every member of the group would go to his house each Thursday for a couple of hours to show what they had advanced for the big project and the little work the professor left through the semester. You’d arrive a couple of minutes earlier than them since you finished your shift in the restaurant you worked at, and you’d stay there silently scrolling your phone while he revised the shared document. Then, when they all left, you would stay to check with him his work, he trusting you to respectfully correct him and help him just like you did with the others.
It was one of those numerous late nights that, whatever you had, started.
You were biting your lower lip while reading his paragraphs, making a couple of changes every now and then, not paying him any attention on your side, and he doesn’t know what went through his mind, you were calmly doing your own thing, you weren’t any different than usual, with your plain t-shirt and your glasses reflecting the screen light, no colour on your cheeks and hair strings poking out of your ponytail, when his hand moved on its own, accommodating them behind your ear.
Your hands immediately paralyzed, and your eyes stayed glued to the sentence you were about to change, surprised by his sudden action.
‘’Sorry,’’ he apologized, feeling surprised even with himself for doing that.
‘’It’s okay’’ you said and continued.
When you finished his part, you quickly grabbed your things and left, leaving him alone in his apartment with a sour taste in his mouth, repeating in his head how stupid he was for not being able to control his own hand.
You didn’t mention anything about it to anyone, and not that he had thought you would go and scream it to the public, but there was something that told him to be careful with you from that moment on, because you weren’t his prospect, and he couldn’t let you catch unnecessary feelings for him.
The next time you stayed to check his work, he kissed you.
His mind couldn’t function with you around. You, again, had done nothing different from usual, you sat beside him focused on your screen the whole time, correcting his progress, acting as if nothing had happened, making him feel like the only one overthinking the past situation. You showed no interest in him and he had repeated in his head that he should be careful with you that afternoon, he was so into it that when you arrived, instead of sitting beside you until the others got there, he went to his kitchen and rewashed the cups he gave each of them, yet when everyone had left and you were saying something about him reading a certain book to write more about the topic in his part, his hand moved to your neck, and making you face him, he pressed his lips over yours.
He had never done that before, he had never stolen a kiss, even less from someone who showed no interest in him, with no previous flirt and tons of flattering messages directed to him making clear that he could go for it.
You were reluctant at first, not corresponding to his lips movement, mouth hard like a stone. That almost threw him off, but when he was about to leave you, your mouth finally opened to him, letting him interlock his lips with yours, stealing some of your air and sensing the rare softness you had, a touch of inexperience with coffee flavour.
So smart for everything except that, he felt like he could finally teach you something, and that fired the last doubt inside him.
From that day on, every time you went to his house, he would kiss you until everyone else arrived, leaving you with glossy eyes and a different air around you that they noticed but commented nothing about, and when they left and you finished with the last touches of the document, he’d kiss you again, making you bolder and bolder to accept him with every session.
If he went to his kitchen and tapped your hand you would follow him without a word, if the last person about to leave went to the bathroom he wouldn’t doubt to quickly kiss you before they came back, and if you were doing nothing while waiting, he only had to walk to your side for you to lift your eyes and met his lips.
You showed no eagerness to start the kisses, but you always received him with appetite, and that was enough for him to not want to stop.
His preoccupation about you saying something was long forgotten, just in those meetings, even when it was only the two of you, you said no word about the kisses, a silent pact to keep what you had in secret and only behind his doors.
Also, another thing that helped him go around campus with an easy mind was that you showed no intention to change yourself. Usually, when he dated girls they would put more effort into their appearances, they would ask him to buy couple accessories to show off what they were, and then they would match his style, introducing clothes with colours he liked or constantly wore into their wardrobe, like a distinction to show off they were with him, but you didn’t try to do any of that at all, going around with the same clothes, not asking for a single thing from him, not even taunting the idea of having a shared accessory.
You weren’t dating, he knew you didn’t think you were a couple at all, so maybe that was why.
You didn’t ask him what you were, you didn’t pressure him into asking you out, or even insinuate that you liked him. He didn’t understand how you didn’t put any of those cards on the table, you had the chance every time you went to his house, but you didn’t. Seunghan couldn’t understand how you, unlike others, even himself, had no interest in grabbing the opportunity of getting a higher status and being the centre of everyone’s attention, by being with him you could escalate the pyramid, but it seemed like the invisible pyramid he always saw in his head was the last of your concerns.
He was kind of grateful that you didn’t see the point in telling others what you were doing in his living room because thanks to that he felt relaxed beside you. He knew you wouldn’t tell anyone if he did anything wrong, if his lips were too dry when he kissed you, if maybe he was using too much tongue, if his nose kept bumping yours, he didn’t feel the need to think each of his movements or to keep his perfect image, and that finally let him breath and discover how he liked to kiss, helping you discover how you liked it in the way too.
I need to breathe, I want to push my tongue more, can I bite your lip?
Both of you would sometimes throw questions in the middle of the sessions, and none of you judged each other if one wanted to try something new or wanted a break, but they were almost always short ones, enough for you to inhale air for a couple of seconds before Seunghan went back for it.
However, even if he thought the situation was perfect with you not asking for more from him in terms of the pseudo-relationship, he had started to do it without noticing.
Again, he knew how to make people comfortable, and after getting to know you all those days alone, he understood that the best thing to maintain you at ease was directly not trying to hold intruding conversations, but now instead of ignoring you until the next reunion like he always did the first times, he’d send you texts asking if you were going to class or if you had seen the new thing one of the members had written in the shared document, and then when you answered him, he would sneak a personal question in the chat, How was your shift? Did you eat already? What are you doing?
Not thinking too much about it, you gave concise replies and then forgot about him if he didn’t continue with his questions, but you had started to notice his change too, not understanding why he had decided to act like that out of nowhere.
You thought his interest in you was based more on the lack of your enthusiasm to have him around after you two were done, and your indifference to his actions outside his apartment, you thought it was that at least, reason why you felt weirded out every time he asked personal stuff.
You had no expectations of him, you convinced yourself it wasn’t worth it, and you did wish for his touch, but not for his words, not even for his ear to listen to you and agree with what you had to say. You were merely there, ready to accept his lips over yours and ready to leave his house as free as when you entered, which made him strangely confident whenever he was with you, but uneasy when you weren’t.
Still, even if you didn’t try to sustain anything with him, you’d do what he asked you to without doubt, like sitting over his lap when he patted his thighs, or walking to his kitchen when he said he wanted your company until the others arrived.
‘’Why did you arrive so early?’’ he asked one day between kisses. Your soft lips caressing his made him think you had prepared to receive him that afternoon, filling his mind with the idea of you hoping to see him earlier that day and the image of you applying lip balm before crossing his door.
He had you over his counter, your boring and plain blue jeans letting him thrust his clothed erection and enjoy the pressure, but not allowing him to differentiate the form of your cunt over him. That day he was getting impatient with not putting in, the idea had gone through his mind since your last meeting, but you hadn’t shown any intention of fucking him, so he contained himself. That was a step he wasn’t sure he should take alone. Unlike kissing, fucking you would bring another level of intimacy to the dynamic, and he doubted you would continue being the same after that, you were only a girl at the end.
‘’Coworker arrived early’’ you answered. Short, clear, and concise.
You didn’t try to satisfy his greed with an I missed you or an I wanted to see you, you let things go on their own flow, and he liked how fresh everything was with you, almost laughable of how unique your honesty was, and he wanted to keep it like that.
‘’I see’’ he smiled, a part of him disappointed but at the same time relieved.
He trusted you to always tell him the truth, even if sometimes brought him back to reality and humbled a little, he felt better knowing you wouldn’t feed his delusions with pleasant lies.
Everything was going well, each of you without mixing their lives apart from the Thursday afternoon in his house and the short conversations by text, and he was able to contain himself without problem, until that day.
Seunghan rarely had a problem with people from his past, usually once he cut the contact with them, they would get tired of reaching out to him, but this guy was one of the few pesters he couldn’t shake off.
He had been his school classmate in his last year, and Seunghan thought he wouldn’t have to see him again ever again after graduation, but he still called him every now and then to ask him to hang out.
Seunghan definitely had better things to do, but having met him outside his campus and saying hi while he was with his other friends, the boy dragged him into having dinner with other old classmates, making him think that maybe it’d be a good occasion to see old friends again, just a light conversation before they all went to do their own thing.
Seunghan should’ve known better at that point that an asshole would never change.
Arriving at one of the numerous restaurants near his house, he thought that at least, if he got bored, he could quickly escape with an excuse.
At a table on a corner there was his old classmate waiting for him, and the minute he saw that the table was just for two, Seunghan knew no one else would appear.
He tried to run away, but once the other made eye contact with him, it was too late.
‘’Hey man’’ the other greeted him.
Seunghan had no option but to sit.
Immediately he sat the other started to ramble about himself.
Trying to distract himself while the other talked, Seunghan directed his whole attention to the menu.
It was a normal chicken place that worked as a pub at night for groups to drink and play until late, he could already hear a few other people chanting for members to have shots and ordering more and more alcohol, the music was nice and the light was perfect to feel comfortable getting drunk without feeling judged, making him think that, if the other hadn’t lied, he could’ve had a good time with his old friends.
‘’Welcome, what can I get for you?’’
Seunghan instantly recognized your presence, your voice, your aroma, everything.
His eyes shot up and he looked at you, trying to distinguish if it was really you or his mind was playing him a bad (not so bad since he was glad) joke, but there you were, the one and only you.
You were wearing the kind of clothes you’d always wear but with an apron over them and a tag on your chest with your name, clearly showing that you worked there. Unlike him, you didn’t show any surprise to see him, keeping the stoic expression you always had, and the corners of his lips went up without him noticing, a smile almost taking control of his mouth, happy to see you out of the classroom or his living room, but no word came out of him.
Should he greet you like he wanted? Should he call your name and say what a surprise? Should he say he didn’t know you worked there? Because he really didn’t know.
Questions accumulated inside his head, and missing his chance, his old classmate ordered for both, and you, not displaying any disappointment or happiness or any feeling at all, left them alone.
Seunghan started to feel even more down, firmly believing that you decided to pretend you didn’t know him, was that what you wanted? To not know him out of his house?
He knew you would never act giddy to see him, you would never scream his name and run to his arms if you saw him on the other side of the street, but he had hoped that you would at least say hi, to acknowledge you knew each other, after all, you were classmates, and he didn’t want you to act like one of the girls that had a crush on him, but he didn’t want you to ignore him either.
‘’So, what do you say?’’ the annoying guy brought him out of his thinking.
‘’Sorry, what did you say? I couldn’t hear you with the music’’ Seunghan was lost the minute the other started to yap, and he didn’t feel like hearing him anymore, but the least he could do was be polite enough until he said goodbye, the last thing he needed was to hear how the other spread into the chats that Seunghan was full of himself now that he was in college, but the boy didn’t help him to stay calm at all.
Even with the big sign inside every restaurant saying that it was forbidden to smoke in shared spaces, he put a cigarette in his mouth and held it while he searched for his lighter.
‘’My friend has a booth in this club and a ton of pretty girls go all the time, you should come with me, we’ll have fun, and if we’re lucky, a better after night’’ he laughed while lighting it.
Seunghan didn’t want to meet him exactly because of that. They never shared interests, he was a lost cause always living in parties ever since they were in school, and Seunghan could say no to those outings when he was a minor, but since graduation, the other had been more and more insistent now that Seunghan didn’t have enough reasons to reject him anymore.
The other, just like when they were in school, wanted him to show up, attract a bunch of pretty girls and trap one of them to fuck them with his friendship with him as an excuse to appear more desirable.
‘’Sorry, I have class tomorrow early’’ Seunghan said, and trying to fan the smoke from his cigarette the other way, coughed before he continued, ‘’I think we should leave if you want to smoke, there’s a big sign that says not to smoke inside’’.
‘’Don’t worry about that, but talking about leaving, I think you should come with me, my friend always pays for all our drinks.’’
Shit, he started to think. Seunghan perfectly knew that tactic, typical from guys like him with no charm and no capacity to attract a girl that was in their full senses.
He hated that kind of guy, and not wanting to stay with one of them in front of you, he started to plan an excuse to leave, needing to go home and forget that night ever happened.
The other didn’t stop talking or showed any sign of putting off the nicotine stick, making him bite the inside of his cheek anxious with the idea of bringing you problems since you’d have to tell his friend that he couldn’t do that there, and knowing him, he wouldn’t stay quiet with a mere waitress telling him what he could and couldn’t do.
‘’I really think you should put that out’’ Seunghan interrupted him after a couple of minutes. The other was already in half his cigarette and Seunghan had resigned in having to put his pretty clean shirt in the dirty laundry because the smell of his cheap little vice was already impregnated in the fabric that used to have the warm and fruity aroma of his softener.
‘’Don’t be such a bummer man, light up a little’’ he joked. ‘’I’ll tell you something, if you come with me, I’ll stop, what do you say’’.
Seunghan found his offer tempting, but if he couldn’t escape there, how would he escape from the club? Well, he could get lost in the middle of all the people, and he had already decided that he would take a shower again to clean the smell of the cigarette, so it didn’t sound too bad after he contemplated the idea.
‘’Hey, go and fuck yourself, he already said he doesn’t want to go.’’
His friend almost choked with the smoke he was holding inside his mouth when he heard you, and Seunghan’s eyes opened while his mouth and thoughts completely shut down.
‘’What the- do you know her?’’ the last question was directed to Seunghan and he didn’t know what to say, his head almost shook saying no like instinct, but he stopped himself before doing it, staying still.
‘’He doesn’t have to know me, everyone here can hear how you’re trying to force him into going with you, so let him alone before I tell my boss you’re smoking here when that big ass poster clearly says you can’t, or apart from not listening you can’t read either?’’
You said all that without an ounce of fear and Seunghan couldn’t understand what was that feeling that had started to grow inside his chest, was that embarrassment for not being able to talk for himself? or embarrassment for being seen with someone like that guy? He wasn’t sure at that moment, but what he noticed was that it was mixed with another thing, annoyance. However, he didn’t know if it was with himself or with the stupid brat in front of him, and it increased once the other stood up from his seat and tried to lift his hand at you.
It was impossible the guy punched you, but just the idea of him touching you with a single finger made him interfere, something he never did.
Seunghan’s body moved on its own and grabbed him before he tried to even brush you, dragging him outside without giving you a second glance.
You didn’t flinch at all, you had met tons of worse clients, he was nothing to you, and you’d have probably ignored the whole situation if it wasn’t that Seunghan looked so troubled sitting there. You had a pact with yourself to not butt in situations that had nothing to do with you, but you knew Seunghan, he couldn’t say a frankly no for the sake of looking good, and he could easily lead people into leaving him in peace, but the other boy had bad news written all over his face, and you doubted someone as pacific as Seunghan could use his tactics with him.
You watched the drinks on the table, two untouched beers that your manager would ask why they stayed like that there, alone, and unpaid, and you just hoped that little spur of bravery didn’t bring you problems with anyone else.
Outside the restaurant Seunghan left the other guy’s arm free and, scrunching to touch his knees with the palms of his hands, he exhaled to control himself.
He started to count in his head, repeating It’s okay, It’s okay, to convince himself that nothing had happened.
‘’Woah I should talk to the owner, how could she talk to a customer like that, that girl shouldn’t be a waitress.’’
It’s not okay.
Rage started to fill him and for the first time, he felt tempted to use his punch over someone else.
‘’Don’t call me ever again.’’
Seunghan started his way to his house, not looking back, feeling that, if he saw his face again, he wouldn’t be able to control his hand from not flying directly to the other’s eye.
When Seunghan arrived at his house he saw one of the numerous flyers on his entrance, right next to the plate where he left his keys and any little thing that he received or bought on the street, recognizing the name of the restaurant where you worked at, and just there a memory came to his mind, you leaving that little paper with an ugly old design, sighing and saying I don’t know if I’m cursed or anything, but my work seems to never leave me alone.
Now he understood why when he saw the direction the other had sent, he felt so eager to go, because even if he couldn’t remember it, his body did it for him, wanting to be near you.
He tossed his shirt into the laundry. He had worn it that day believing it would still be clean enough the next day and he’d be able to wear it in front of all the group, but especially, in front of you, and when he tried to sleep, but the whole night the only thing that occupied his mind was how would you see him that afternoon.
When the clock marked the hour in which you usually arrived, he started to clean his table, again. He had already spent most of his morning cleaning his place to receive the group, but he didn’t know how to stay still with the memory of the disastrous previous night. He kept wondering, what would you say? Would you think he was like his friend? Impossible. Would you pretend nothing happened like you always did? That seemed pretty possible.
He kept convincing himself to not bother you with questions on his part, like, would you always act like you didn’t know him in the streets? Did he have to ignore you every time he saw you out there? Did you think he was pathetic for not being able to give a straight no? Because he thinking it was enough to torment his night, and sure the next ones would have him meeting the same fate too.
His watch alarm sounded while he was dusting his couch pillows for the third time, making him feel anxious because it usually sounded when you were already there, with him, accepting his kisses and his hands grasping your body as much as he allowed himself.
You didn’t arrive until much later when all the other guys were already there.
At least you took your seat beside him like you always did, making him feel at ease a little bit.
It wasn’t enough, Seunghan felt his hands sweating and he couldn’t stop his leg from moving under the table, so after many lost minutes, he decided it was enough, and tapping your hand he signalled the way to his kitchen, telling you to follow him in silence.
Thankfully, and as expected, you didn’t protest, leaving everyone else concentrating on their own stuff.
When you two got to his kitchen, you perfectly knowing your way at that point after so many afternoons watching him move around, to get busy, you filled his kettle with water to boil it and make more coffee, to have an excuse for disappearing from his living room.
‘’Did you get in trouble after we left?’’ Seunghan started.
You played with the force of the fire in his kitchen, and finally leaving it as high as possible, you answered.
‘’Not really.’’
‘’Will they cut the beers from your pay?’’
‘’Nah, you can have a couple of drinks for free a day, so my coworkers had them.’’
The way you looked so recollected should’ve brought him peace, you didn’t get in trouble, which was good, a happy ending, but he got more stressed.
‘’Why did you get involved?’’ he asked the one thing that bothered him the most the last night.
‘’Are you really asking me that?’’ you laughed, ‘’I just felt like doing it.’’
‘’But why.’’
‘’Why do you care so much Seunghan? I’m sorry if I brought you problems, I didn’t mean to, okay?’’ you wanted to leave the topic behind, so you didn’t look at him, nails busy scratching a point of dust off his counter.
You, just like Seunghan, hated getting involved in uncomfortable situations, but unlike him, you didn’t have the ability to swiftly change topics or help everyone involved feel better, resorting to abruptly trying to end discussions with apologies, to then ignore the problem.
That irritated him, how you avoided his eyes and tried to keep yourself busy to not take your part in the situation.
Seconds passed by, and he could hear the water starting to boil, so he knew he wouldn’t have much time until the others started to wonder what you two were doing in his kitchen alone.
His hand grabbed yours when he got tired of you not looking at him, but you kept your eyes down, directing them to his floor titles this time.
‘’Look at me’’ he ordered, and you, not being able to not follow his words, looked up at him.
The silence wasn’t like the one you had when you arrived, it was tense, and it had started to pick on your nerves, pushing you to talk again. ‘’He was bothering you, and you looked uncomfortable, I’m sorry if you didn’t want me to intervene.’’
His grip on you got softer and he exhaled through his nose, a tenderness installing on his chest with your eyes looking at him and your voice wavering but finally answering his question.
He then felt bad, he was no one to talk to you like that, and he never had discussions like that either. He knew how to keep the waters calm and get the other person to participate in the talk, making them feel heard and making them listen to what he had to say, but with you he forgot how to do that, carrying the conversation to another direction instead of the one he wanted to take. ‘’No, I’m sorry, I just wanted to thank you, I don’t know why it sounded as if I was complaining’’ he said, mind not as foggy anymore.
‘’I’m sorry’’ you said again, making him smile this time, because both of you would never stop saying sorry if he didn’t change the tone of the conversation.
‘’Thank you for helping me’’ he said to leave everything behind on good terms.
You nodded, air less tense and comfortable enough for him to move his body closer to you, and hand in hand, cornering you to his counter, after you moved your eyes from his eyes to his lips, he felt as if he had permission to take his Thursday kiss, giving you a peck, to then leave other, and other, until they stopped being just pecks and converted into a deep one.
His other hand went to your waist, playing with the hem of your long plain t-shirt, they never let him sneak a hand to touch the skin inside because of how long they were, and that kind of bothered him, but at the same time it made him smile with his lips over yours, liking the softness all your clothes had.
He had changed his softener to yours after you told him what you used, it was a cheap brand, but it does the job, and he liked to share something as banal as that with you.
The kettle whistle didn’t make him stop, and with the same hand playing with your clothes, he turned off the kitchen, so it didn’t sound anymore.
He had to prepare the new round of coffee for everyone outside, so after a last long-lasting peck, he let you go, but with one last order before you went outside to sit with everyone else.
‘’Don’t pretend to not know me in public.’’
Time went flying after that, and finally able to concentrate, he wrote as much as he could while waiting for everyone to leave you two alone to continue your routine.
When all of them left, you surprised him once again.
Standing with him, you grabbed a couple of cups to take to the kitchen with him, making him grin because that was just so uncharacteristic of you, and he knew you wanted something else to happen.
In his kitchen, alone, you stayed beside him watching him wash the cups and everything he had used that afternoon while he talked about the book you had recommended to him, and once he finished, he dried his hands on the towel you handed him, to then push you to his kitchen counter and taste you.
Your lips he had missed for a week had a different flavour, sweeter this time, still kind of bitter because of the coffee, but there was just something else.
Perhaps it was because you started the kiss this time, pulling his belt until his chest was touching yours and his eyes looked down at you with attention, or perhaps it was simply something else that he didn’t know, maybe you put more sugar in your drink? He didn’t care enough to keep guessing.
One hand going to cup your cheek while the other roamed your waist, he sighed when over your lips when a whimper left your mouth.
His hips were getting impatient, and he had started to thrust onto your clothed sex without thinking, but it was an automatic motion his body did for him, not that he had thought for so many days how your sweet insides would feel, or taste.
He wouldn’t fuck you; he had decided that.
Kisses were more than enough, he tried to convince himself.
But Hong Seunghan was just a man, and mere kisses were never going to be enough, so pulling apart, he tried to think he was stronger than what he really was, and he really tried it, until you grabbed his hand to cup you.
‘’Are you sure?’’ he asked you, hand cupping your pussy harder but still decided to let you go if you didn’t want it.
He had stolen a kiss from you before, but doing something like that without your firm approbation was too much for him.
‘’Just do it Seunghan’’ you replied, opening your legs for him even more.
You were wearing jeans and the rough material felt good against his clothed erection, but not against his hand, so he opened your button and pushed his hand inside your underwear, feeling your clit and drawing the direction your lips showed him to find your entrance.
‘’You’re wet, been thinking about me?’’ He murmured against your ear.
Your tailbone was against the hard marble counter of his kitchen, feeling the border of it sink strongly against you, but it felt so good to have his hand touching you there while he whispered right next to your ear.
He had you opening your legs for him while he situated himself beside you, one leg between yours, his right hand smearing your arousal, and the other gripping the counter to not get too lost in you.
You didn’t answer, ashamed of letting more embarrassing noises out when he was just taunting you.
He wasn’t doing anything, just feeling you with the palm of his hand, and you still felt something forming in the pitch of your stomach you had never felt with anyone before.
Seunghan knew you were a virgin, he was the one who taught you how to give open-mouthed kisses after all, but you never imagined he would be the one making you feel that way.
You two were so different, you had seen him walking around campus with his friends, his sole presence making everyone turn their heads to him, you would’ve never expected to end in a situation like this one with him, or that he’d be the one taking all the first steps.
‘’Stop laughing’’ you said when he continued still.
You had weeks of building up, going home with your panties dripping after he kissed you until you couldn’t breathe, you needed more, but he wasn’t taking the first step anymore, only kissing you, rutting his boner in your entrance and letting you go with a painful smile.
You were too proud to tell him you wanted more, and you wouldn’t have followed him to his kitchen with the cups of coffee if you hadn’t had enough.
Never helping him that way, tired of doing it every day at your job, you thought this was the time.
This was the time before everything fell apart.
You knew how fragile human relationships were, reason why you didn’t want to have a boyfriend or anything like that before.
You had seen in first person how people could change from one day to another, and how anything, didn’t matter how deep looked like, could end in a blink.
Yesterday you felt it was over, you thought that Seunghan would push you away and the make-out sessions would never happen again, but he had kissed you, so you decided to take the first step to feel him more before everything ended.
You thought, everything would finish at one point in time, and if it wasn’t because of a discussion, it would be when the project was over, whatever happened first, so you didn’t have enough time to be proud anymore.
His hand moving brought you out of your thinking, sliding his fingers up and down your slit, you felt his fingertips brushing your clit, sending a shiver through your spine and making you open your mouth, surprised.
‘’Feels good, right?’’ he asked with a smile, drawing circles and feeling as good as you just by looking at your face showing exactly all you were feeling.
Mouth open and eyebrows frown, you let him do what he wanted with you, trusting his experience to take you to an unknown place.
‘’Answer’’ he ordered, stopping his fingers from pressing that little bud and making you shook your head.
‘’Yes, it feels good’’ you answered, letting your head fall to his shoulder and sighing before grabbing his wrist to move it again, but he was a lot stronger, and you could only wrap your hand around him, not being able to close your fingers of how big he was.
Although he had pretty hands, they were still manly, strong, and a lot bigger than yours, and moving his hand again, he showed you the pace you should take when he wasn’t with you, but you doubted you’d be able to feel the same way if it wasn’t his hand the one touching you.
‘’Remember, just like this’’ he said, flicking his index on your clit and making you whimper.
He had that fucking grin on his face the whole time and you couldn’t dare to look at him, feeling at disadvantage to his knowledge.
You were smart, you knew a lot of things, you proofread his work, you checked everyone’s work, and you know you’re always right when you answer questions, but right there you were nothing compared to him, and that made you furious, but it calmed you at the same time.
He might have that grin, but he was treating you so well, softly showing you how real pleasure felt like, you doubted you would’ve felt that comfortable with anyone else in that situation.
Pushing one finger inside, the middle one, he let the other fingers rest while his thumb continued with the caresses to your clit.
Your panties were slightly pushed down with the way he was touching you, and the hard marble was now touching directly at your skin, but the cold sensation of it with the warmness of his hand made everything better, making you stay focused on what was happening the whole time.
‘’Oh god,’’ you cried when his finger started thrusting your entrance.
The spongy and smooth texture of your walls welcomed him without problem, and he cursed at how good you felt.
Getting dizzy, he thought about how you would receive him, how you’d wrap him, and how he would make you used to his size since he’d be the first person fucking you, which filled his chest with something else he couldn’t recognize, was that happiness? It was more like relief.
But it also terrified him.
The need that was increasing inside him to have you near, close to him, with him, it terrified him.
He’s not used to that kind of emotion, he feels tired of people, he knows that, but would he become tired of you?
‘’Seunghan,’’ you moaned his name, pushing your hips down to his hand so he fucked you with his finger again.
He looked at your face, eyes glossy and red lips after all the kisses and how you bit them to not cry out loud, and he added one more.
‘’Why did you get involved yesterday?’’ he asked you again.
You couldn’t understand his words, it resonated inside your mind, but you couldn’t think of an exact answer with his fingers fucking you harder and faster.
‘’I couldn’t let him… he was bothering you…’’ you said as you could.
‘’Good’’ he said, still fingering you, ‘’Will you ignore me outside again?’’
You were moving in unison with his hand, meeting him each time he pushed his fingers and his palm pressed your clit.
‘’No,’’ you cried, feeling that tight sensation form in your abdomen again, more intense, painful.
‘’Good, now cum’’ he ordered.
You cried on his shoulder pretty loud when he gave you permission, you didn’t know you would need one to have an orgasm, maybe that was why you couldn’t do it on your own, but it was life-changing how real, intense, and amazing, pleasure could be.
Trembling on his chest, your head still on his shoulder, and you trying to catch your breath, he made you face him to leave a couple of pecks on your lips again, almost loving and incredibly peaceful, as if you had done that many times before, making you feel comfy on his presence and with his hand still prying inside your underwear.
A couple of minutes later he helped you pull up your jeans again, but they were a mess, so he made you follow him to the laundry room and gave you a pair of clean boxers.
‘’Better than nothing’’ you said when he apologized for not having anything better.
He gave you a pair of his numerous grey pants and seeing how you were struggling to keep them in place, offered to walk you to the bus stop just in case.
‘’You looked good yesterday’’ you said to fill the silence after many minutes.
Seunghan regretted having offered to keep you company to the stop, walking on an uncomfortable silence that seemed to only affect him, you completely calm beside him, but when you said that, he smiled, feeling glad for doing something different for once.
‘’You too, that apron fits you’’ he said in a teasing tone. For him, it felt like flirting, for you, it felt like it too, but you weren’t used to it, so you only nodded and didn’t talk until your bus arrived.
Even if none of you said it, something had changed in the air after that.
When you met in the corridors, first he’d look at you from the distance, debating if he should get closer and talk or not, but then after much thinking (and many days doing the same thing, staring from feet away), he decided that saying hi to his classmate wasn’t anything out of the world.
The first time your eyes met his and he, instead of looking the other way, walked to you, you thought that something wrong was about to happen, sending a nervous shiver and making you grip onto your backpack straps.
‘’Hey, how was class?’’ he asked, just standing next to you while you waited for your water bottle to be filled.
‘’It was okay’’ you said, still not daring to see his face.
The first times were incredibly uncomfortable, but soon you got used to that, it was just talking after all, nothing special, so you let him talk to you about whatever crossed his mind until he was called by someone in his group, and you had started to accept him more, trying to maintain a decent conversation at least, all innocent and he being cordial with one of his many classmates.
In his house, however, he’d corner you and get you all heated until the others arrived, and when they left, he’d finger you until you came over his hand and cried on his neck.
You didn’t say anything when that happened, accepting him just like when he kissed you the first weeks, and like that, another routine had been formed.
From the first time he gave you a pair of his boxers, he washed your dirty pair of panties to give them back to you the next time he saw you, but that next time you’d leave another dirty pair again (more like, he would snatch them from your hands before you could say anything), changing into the clean pair he had washed, so the new routine would consist in you cumming over his fingers, leaving your wet underwear, and he washing it to have it ready for you the next time.
He never told you because you didn’t ask, but every time you left your panties, he would smell your orgasm on them, jerking off with the picture of you opening your legs for him until he came over the fabric, and appreciating the look of your wet spot with his cum over it, he’d wash them carefully by hand.
You still haven’t fucked.
Things were getting too intimate for Seunghan even if you hadn’t had sex, and he loved it, he loved how you left something yours in his house, he loved to be the only one giving you pleasure, and the only one seeing your face when you had an orgasm, but he had started to ask himself, what did that mean?
He wasn’t your boyfriend, you weren’t his girlfriend, and he enjoyed that silent pact at the start, but so much time had passed that it had started to confuse him.
Next week would be the last reunion before the big presentation, and after that, what would make you go to his house? Did he have to ask you out? Could he really let himself be seen with you in public?
In the confidence of his room, he didn’t have to give anyone an explanation, not even you since you never asked for one, but out there he doubted it could stay like that. He could already notice how people looked at him when he talked to you in the corridor like a mere classmate, what would they say if they knew all he did to you in his house?
Seunghan was so lost, he couldn’t understand any of his actions, not his body making him run to you in public, his mouth rambling every time he had you near, or what he was doing there in front of your work at that moment.
You could go on your own without problem, you’ve been doing it for weeks, you knew his address and his house like the palm of your hand, so he couldn’t understand why all his thoughts told him to go and wait for you to finish your shift and then walk you to his house.
He was looking down at his feet, dusting the dust out of the floor as if it was his job.
His spotless sneakers were kicking air by that point, and he didn’t know if to stay or leave, telling himself to just walk in and order something and pretend he was passing by.
‘’Seunghan?’’ you asked before he could even decide.
You had a couple of plastic bags on each hand that seemed heavy, sure you didn’t only took orders and washed dishes, but he didn’t imagine they would also send you to buy stuff.
‘’Oh, hey’’ he said, trying to act nonchalant, ‘’I was just passing by…’�� you hadn’t asked anything and he was already giving you an answer ‘’and I remembered your shift was about to end so…’’
He had talked incredibly fast, and you almost didn’t understand the last part, but you heard shift and end, so, blinking, you nodded to his words.
‘’I see’’ you said, and silence came to surround you again, ‘’well, it’s true my shift was about to finish, I just had to leave this inside, we can go together to your house if you want’’.
Seunghan exhaled, thankful for you to talk.
‘’Okay then’’ he smiled, giving a few awkward steps to you.
You were pretty close to the local, you were in front of it and only had to cross the street, yet he couldn’t see you struggling with the bags, so taking them from your hands, he walked you inside, only giving them back because you had to leave them in the kitchen.
Sitting in one of the booths, he checked his phone to wait for you.
It somehow felt natural, waiting for you to then go back to his house, and he had a knot in his throat forming with that thought.
‘’Seunghan?’’ he lifted his gaze from his mindlessly scrolling to see the same old friend he had told to never call him again after the incident, ‘’what are you doing here?’’ he then said, looking at him weird out by seeing him alone.
‘’Soobin…’’ Seunghan murmured, he hadn’t expected to see him at all.
After that day he stopped contacting Seunghan just like he had asked, and he had totally forgotten about him until that moment, making him nervous because Seunghan didn’t know how to act with him anymore now that he had seen his uncool, angry and exasperated side.
‘’Are you waiting for someone?’’ he asked.
Seunghan left his phone on the table and, not knowing what to say, only nodded.
‘’I see… well, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry, I made you go through an uncomfortable moment that day, sorry.’’
Not believing what he had just heard, Seunghan, lost at words, only nodded again.
‘’I was really an asshole’’ he laughed, making Seunghan laugh too.
‘’It’s okay, I shouldn’t have reacted like that, I’m sorry too’’ Seunghan finally said.
Standing and giving him his hand, both of them laughed and punched each other’s shoulders.
‘’But tell me the truth, you know that girl, right? The waitress who told me to go and fuck myself’’ Soobin said, laughing even more with the memory.
Seunghan didn’t know what to answer, pushing both hands to his pockets, he bit the inside of his cheek and, contrary to all he was thinking, denied.
‘’Not really’’ Seunghan said, looking at his feet and seeing the light reflection of his blue shirt over his white sneakers, without thinking he had worn the same shirt he had used that day.
‘’Uhm, if you say so’’ Soobin said unconvinced, ‘’she said you had classes together though.’’
Surprised, Seunghan stayed silent, and before he could explain himself, a girl had called Soobin, who said a quick goodbye and ran to her without looking back.
Seunghan saw the other smile at the girl and take her hand, proudly taking her bag from her and putting it on his shoulder as if it was his own.
He seemed happy, and not like an asshole anymore, what seemed unbelievable until that day, making him think that, maybe he was the only one who would never change.
He didn’t understand why he had denied knowing you, he was the one who told you to not pretend to not know him in public, and you had been true to your words, while he, even if hadn’t promised the same thing, felt like a liar.
You came out minutes later, and he had never been grateful to the world for not having you close at every moment, but in that moment, he was, because at least you hadn’t heard how pathetic he was, again.
‘’My boss gave you this, says thank you for carrying the bags’’ you showed him a can of beer, ‘’tsk, I was the one who carried them all the way here.’’
You looked incredibly offended, and accepting it, Seunghan looked behind you, where a big man met his eyes and gave him a thumbs up before he could say anything, and suddenly, he was laughing from the bottom of his heart again.
You smiled with him for a second, and walking out of the local, he told himself to stop being such a coward.
Walking in silence, Seunghan had both hands on his jeans pockets, while you had them over your backpack handles.
‘’I can carry your backpack if you want’’ Seunghan offered.
You denied, ‘’It’s okay, I can do it.’’
‘’I should be clearer, what I meant to say was that I want to carry your backpack’’ he said.
The sun was going down and he could see the orange lights of the sunset, tons of lights were starting to appear thanks to the numerous businesses around there, and he wanted to look at them, but his entire attention was on the way a little touch of red started to appear on your cheeks.
‘’Okay’’ you said, passing him your backpack and letting him carry it for you.
‘’It’s still early, we can buy some snacks before going, is there anything you want?’’ he asked, sliding his arms on the handles, and letting it sit on his back.
It was a bit tight, used to be carried only by you, but he wore it like he could.
‘’I’m okay, I just had something’’ you tried to not look at him, looking at the pavement instead.
He let you go a step in front of him, you had shorter legs and he had no problem reaching you, but he let you, you seemed to want that little distance, and that way he could also see more things of you he hadn’t noticed before.
Your hands didn’t have anything else to grab now that he was wearing your backpack and they seemed unnatural on your sides playing with nothing. Now that he noticed, you were always doing something with them, whether it was writing on your keyboard, writing something, or simply scratching any surface that you had near, but right there you had nothing, and he thought that maybe, he should hold your hand to fill that emptiness.
Not a maybe anymore, his hand wanted to interlock with yours, and slowly approaching you, he almost touched the side of your left one.
‘’If you want to buy something we can stop in that convenience store’’ you pointed to the store next to you, open and almost empty, and he woke up from all the ideas that were lurking inside his mind. To hold your hand, wasn’t that a bit too much for someone who wasn’t your boyfriend?
‘’Yeah,’’ he said, walking in and buying the first chips he saw just to buy something.
You were waiting for him outside, checking your phone, and he couldn’t stop seeing the way your eyelashes were really dark, and how you, just like him, bit the inside of your cheek pretty often.
When he moved his eyes from you to the cashier, he talked before he could think, ‘’One box of condoms too, please’’.
The other boy didn’t even flinch, too used to hearing that sentence, and scanned the little code on the machine.
Seunghan shoved the receipt and the little box into his back pocket, brushing the bottom of your backpack in the way, and his heart started to pound while he held the plastic bag in his hand.
‘’Chips with coffee?’’ you asked with a soft smile, and he showed you a wide one back.
‘’I bought coke today’’ he said, walking next to you the rest of the way to his house.
Getting to his house, he opened the door and let you walk in first, watching you take off your shoes and then turn to him, waiting for him to do the same.
When you showed him your hand, he didn’t understand what you wanted, so he gave you the plastic bag with chips.
‘’Seunghan, my backpack’’ you said, making him release an embarrassed little smile before taking it off and giving it to you.
You grabbed it, and going to his kitchen, you left the can of beer your boss had given to him inside his fridge.
Seunghan walked behind you, looking at you move around with such normality, you had been going there for weeks, and that was the last reunion before the presentation next week, so of course you’d be comfortable enough by that point.
Things with the work were going smoothly, different from all the ideas that circled his mind about you. You had made that tedious job bearable, and he wished all his other projects could go as easy as that one.
They would arrive still in a considerable time, and seeing you bend down to inspect his fridge, he gulped, seeing the little outline of your body swimming inside that oversized t-shirt.
‘’You bought Sprite too’’ you affirmed before closing his door, ‘’what’s the occasion?’’
‘’It’s the last meeting, I thought it would be nice to give them something that wasn’t instant coffee’’ he murmured.
You walked to him, looking at his hand organizing the bags over his counter and folding the plastic bag from the convenience store into a drawer. ‘’The last meeting…’’ you murmured too, not believing that so much time had passed, and how probably that would be your last day together like that in his kitchen.
Catching your attention, a piece of paper was showing in his back pocket, and you shouldn’t have done it, you don’t know why you did it, but you grabbed it, it easily slipped from his jeans without making a noise, so he didn’t notice it, and you and your wandering eyes read what was written in the little paper.
Nothing seemed out of normal, the different chips were listed with their price right next to them, but one word caught your attention.
You had never bought it before, but you recognized the name of the brand, it was popular and all the stores had it, so you had seen it in the health section in the supermarket and posters of it in convenience stores.
Not wanting to make it obvious that you knew, you let the paper fall to the floor when he stood up again.
‘’That fell’’ you said, and he, following your eyes, saw the white paper on the floor, picking it up and making it a ball before he tossed it to the trash can there in his kitchen.
You swallowed the saliva accumulating in your throat, and he didn’t say anything, he didn’t know you had read it, so when the air changed and he met your eyes staring at him, he smiled, thinking it was you wanting a kiss from him.
Getting close to you, things were different this time, he was going just for a kiss, there wasn’t much time before the others arrived, but you put your arms around his neck and opened your mouth, wanting a deep one this time.
Sliding his tongue and caressing yours, one of his hands went to your back, feeling the clasp of your bra through your shirt, while the other shamelessly went to the small of your back, drawing lines and circles just to keep his hands busy.
You whimpered and he couldn’t help but push his mouth even more against yours, pressing you to his counter and groaning when he heard another whimper come from you.
‘’The others are going to arrive in any second… I’m sorry’’ he said.
‘’Why are you sorry?’’ you asked.
‘’Because I can’t make you cum, there’s not enough time’’ he sighed before giving you a peck over your lips.
‘’Later then?’’ your voice almost broke and he saw your eyes gleaming, thinking how they were the prettiest pair he had seen, and how they were focused solely on him.
He nodded, ‘’Later.’’
When the others got there, they all focused on giving the presentation the last touches, and once they were done, they all celebrated with the chips and the sodas Seunghan had bought.
‘’I’ve never had a group work as much as this one, I’m thankful to all of you for coming here even with your busy agendas, thank you for everything’’ Seunghan said, making them all smile, and of course, the praises for him didn’t take much to appear.
Everyone left not much later, and being alone, you helped him recollect the cans and then step over them to recycle them.
Finishing the work in silence, you helped him clean, and once nothing else was there to do, Seunghan made you follow him to his room.
You haven’t been there many times, but you remember it, you remember the dark blue walls, and his black furniture, especially the way even his window frame was black too.
It looked like someone had designed it for him, knowing his style, just like his whole house, and you couldn’t help but feel the difference with your place when after spending hours there you had to ride the bust to your little studio apartment.
But Seunghan had never shown any sign of caring about the difference in your situations, he knew you worked in a half bar half chicken restaurant, that you used cheap softener for your clothes, and that you repeated outfits many times, but he had never commented about it.
You couldn’t help but feel kind of special, and just that day, when you saw him waiting for you in front of your workplace, you felt your heart flinch, because not even in your wildest dreams you had thought you would see that scene.
You knew him enough to know he usually overthought things about others and how they saw him, needing to appear perfect all the time, but even with that in mind, just perhaps, things were different with you.
Closing his door while you saw the pictures he had on his desk, you didn’t say a word once he got behind you and one of his hands rested on your abdomen.
You let him kiss you again, receiving him and giving him your full attention, to him, to his fingers, and to the way he wasn’t containing anymore.
He made you walk to his bed with him, and pushing you there, he played with the hem of your t-shirt.
‘’I’ll take it off’’ he said, and when you nodded, he showed you a smile, ‘’I’ll finally see what you have there.’’
‘’Shut up’’ you laughed and lifted your arms, so he took it off.
Showing him your chest, you felt exposed, it was the first time you let him see you like that, he had sneaked a hand before, but he never took off your t-shirts, not even your jeans, touching you inside your underwear and making you cum with his fingers before he gave you your clean pair of panties and let you change yourself while he turned to watch a wall or went to put his shoes on while you changed alone in his room.
His eyes on your chest made you conscious, and he noticed it, but even if he wanted to stop so you felt comfortable, he couldn’t.
‘’They’re pretty’’ he said, and you gave him a half smile, not daring to see his eyes inspecting you.
His hand caressed your cheek, so you looked at him again, and trailing down the valley between your breasts, he smiled when you whimpered at his hands cupping your tits.
Nipping the naked skin that your bra let him see, he felt the softness of that part of your body, looking up to your face to not lose your reactions.
He took off the pretty blue shirt you liked to see him wearing, and that part of him naked, he showed you his tender skin, white, spotless and as pretty as him.
Of course, he’d look perfect without clothes too.
He didn’t unclasp your bra, he pulled it down, which felt uncomfortable, but you couldn’t say anything when his lips went to your nipples and left soft licks over them, making you arch so your chest continued meeting his mouth.
Untouched down there, you were sure your panties were already a mess since he kissed you in his kitchen hours before, and needing him, your hand went to his erection.
You weren’t that bold before, you could press your cunt to it when he asked you to sit on his lap, but you never touched it.
You wanted to touch it so bad, you let him keep attending your chest while you grabbed him over his pants.
‘’I want to touch you’’ you admitted, and he, without the smile you always saw, pushed your hand away.
‘’Not yet’’ he said, moving away and unbuttoning your jeans.
You, again, helped him to take it off you, lifting your hips so you helped him.
With hands sweating, he tosses them to the side and sighs glad that they didn’t slip from his hands. You looked so fucking good under him, nude bra down enough for him to see your tits, and a blue pair of panties that definitely didn’t match, but for him, they looked amazing together, because you were wearing them, and that was enough.
Looking at you, he can’t help but admire all the little places he wants to mark, the side of your neck, your collarbone, your chest, your tummy, and his eyes go all the way down until he sees the inside of your thighs.
Creamy, soft, sweet, they were calling for him, and without saying anything, he went down to taste them.
You let him, you just let him, and adoring the way you wordlessly opened your legs for him, he bit you there, breathing over your underwear the aroma he recognized a bit too well, leaving little pecks until, after pushing your panties to the side, left a single long one over your clit.
Glowing under his bedroom light, he can’t help but give big licks, down and up, recollecting your juices to taste you properly, and like he had been wanting for so long every time he smelled your panties in the confidence of his room.
All those times making you cum with his fingers and containing himself from dropping to his knees and drinking your orgasm to push another one had come to that, and he couldn’t stop now.
Tongue flat against your clit, he made you squirm, but maintaining you on your place with his arms under your thighs and his palms over your tummy, he made you accept him.
‘’Wait- Seunghan’’ you said, propping on your elbows and looking down at him, the sight of his dark eyes meeting yours and his mouth working so eagerly over you making your head spin, and one of your hands, needing to touch him, went to his hair to feel him.
With shaking hips, you met his mouth whenever his chin went upwards, pulsating against half of his face and leaving a mess.
Your pretty pussy lips had a reddish colour, furious with him and his teasing, so to alleviate them a little bit, he inserted two of his fingers in one thrust.
You didn’t need preparation for that, he knew you could take them, so many times cumming over them, your entrance recognized his fingers as an invited guess, so you could only cry when that little place that he always found squelched.
Cursing, you let your head fall, and arching your back, you came with his fingers and his mouth, legs almost closing around his face but being stopped by his big hands.
He left a mark of wetness over the place he touched with the fingers he had pushed on your insides, and you knew you were dripping all over his bed, yet you couldn’t care less.
He pushed down his pants and his underwear, kicking them away from his feet.
‘’Come here’’ he called you, and you, still not back in your senses but always listening to him, sat in the border of his bed as you could.
With drowsy eyes, you gulped when his member stood in front of you. Looking amazing, you didn’t know if dicks could be pretty, but that was the only adjective that came to your head when you saw it.
Pink, veiny, and long, the tip was slightly thicker and darker, and you waited for him to tell you what to do.
His palm wrapped him in front of you with one hand, and with the other, he grasped on your hard nipples begging for more attention, while your pussy was leaving a big spot over his bedsheets with how wet you were after he made you cum once.
‘’First use your hand, okay?’’ he said, and you didn’t need to hear anything else before your hand went to his member, ‘’you seem to like it’’ he snickered.
He didn’t want to tease you, he didn’t mean to, he’s not used to doing that, not even with his exes that could easily form comebacks and throw them at him, but with you, he couldn’t help it, so gorgeous, quiet, and always accepting, his ugly side kept floating out, and he liked your voice telling him to shut up or the almost mute giggles that escaped your chest.
‘’I like it’’ you said, and he licked his dry lips, watching you attentively. The way your wrist did its best to move in and out, and seeing your mouth get closer to his shaft, opening and letting the tip touch your tongue, made him groan.
‘’Take your bra off’’ he ordered, needing to see your tits bouncing with the little force you were using to jerk him off.
He suddenly remembered each time he jerked off to the smell of your panties and the memory of your eyebrows frowning when you came thanks to him, and he smiled, proud of seeing you so eager to attend him too.
His little doll, after all those orgasms, would you say yes to anything he said?
When you toss your bra away without stopping your licks to the tip of his cock, he knows the answer is a yes.
‘’Try to take a bit more’’ he inhaled hastily and, helping you do your job more comfortably, with his hands he pushed the loose strings of hair away from your face.
The first day he didn’t understand why his hand moved on its own to push that hair behind your ear, but now he sees that little dot on your cheek, close to your ear, and he thinks that he did it to see it without any obstacle covering it.
You opened your mouth for him and let him slide deeper, half his cock is inside you, and you looked at him with teary drunk eyes.
He moans at the image, so pretty for him, all for him, he’s the only one who had seen you from that angle, and he hopes it continues being like that.
Your cheeks hollowed and you tried to take more of him, stopping your lungs from taking air in so you could suck him better, and he could see it, he could see you struggling and doing your best for him, so he pressed a thumb on your cheek to show his approbation.
You thought he was getting bored, his usual smile was not there, and his eyes were looking at yours too much, so you stopped to make sure you were not doing all that for nothing, ‘’Sorry, am I bad?’’ you asked with insecurity pouring out of your eyes.
He shook his head, his little genius was all nervous and unconfident, and he felt like he had hit the fucking jackpot seeing such a tranquil and collected girl ask him if she was doing a good job at sucking his cock.
‘’You’re perfect’’ he assured, guiding his cock back to your mouth, to which you answer by letting a bit of spit over his tip, smearing it with your lips kissing him and taking him again.
Where the fuck did you learn that? he asked himself, but with the security of you not doing it from someone who isn’t him, he only sighed and let you continue.
Seconds later he felt himself getting closer, and he can’t let himself cum in your mouth, he needs to do it in your insides, so telling you to stop, you do as your told, watching him in your spot searching his jeans and the box of condoms he had bought in the convenience store on the way to his house.
He opened the package with his mouth, and you remembered all those times you’d heard you shouldn’t do it like that, and echoing inside your mind, you pushed those voices to the back when you pulled down your panties and kicked them under his bed.
‘’This is how you put one on, the next time you’ll do it for me, so watch’’ he said, and you nodded, juices leaking with the idea of doing it for him the next time.
He teaches you how to grab the pointy start with his fingers, and how, with the help of his other hand, you’ll have to slide the latex all over his length, until it ends a finger away from the base of his cock.
You batted your eyelashes without thinking, imagining how the pressure of him opening your insides would feel, and to that your thighs shook with excitement.
He kissed you to take away the last doubts you could have, not knowing that you were yearning for it as much as him.
Helping you lie on his bed with him between your legs, he pushed you more into the mattress so he could kneel over the same bedsheets you’ve been dripping all over.
‘’Tell me if you want to stop, I know it can hurt at first, but I’m confident you’ll take me without problem’’ he said, brushing his tip over your clit and then going lower to put it on your entrance, only pushing his thick tip inside, stretching you enough to make your breath get all messy and your mouth fall open, pushing the air out of your lungs with the sensation of his cock finally fucking you.
‘’Fuck’’ you cried, feeling more of him slide in, and he tried to not show how much he was feeling to not make you nervous, but your gummy walls were so hot he felt like he was melting inside you, and that stole the last sanity he had, biting his lips to not let any embarrassing sound out.
‘’I told you, you could take me’’ he said proudly when his entire dick was inside you, and you cried a needy yes and searched for his eyes to look at how good you were being for him.
Your legs were as wide open as they could, and you pulled him in for a kiss before he rutted into you.
He wanted to be soft, it was your first time, and he knows how important it is for most girls, but you make him so crazy he’s forgotten how he did to not act on his wishes anymore.
His hips clasped with yours at that pace and you cried with each thrust, trying to not be too loud with the hits, however, the curve of his cock was making punching a certain place that feels more intense perfectly, and soon you were gripping onto his bedsheets to get a hold of yourself.
His mouth launched to your neck, chest pressing yours while fucking you, and he started to leave little spots on your neck and collarbone while one of his hands moved from your hip to the wrist of one of your hands, holding it there to feel you closer.
You were practically stuck to him, yet he needed to feel you more, and soon he was pushing your thighs to your chest to watch and confirm how deep inside you he was.
Looking at his cock disappearing inside your plump lips, he frowns because its all so perfect, you under him, taking him after all those weeks, and his thrusts became harder, touching the deepest part of your insides to pull out until the only thing connecting you to him was his fat tip, to then harshly pound into you again.
It’s all so messy he can see you dripping on his bed and how the lube appears dull compared to the glow of your juices on his pelvis.
A moan almost escaped his throat when he saw little tears falling on your cheeks, he knows they’re not from pain, and that’s what pushes him to let his grunts and moans out.
‘’Taking me so good, I’m the only one who can make you like this, right?’’ he asked, but it sounds almost like begging, and you didn’t dare to tease him as he did with you.
‘’You’re the only one’’ you cried while his dick kept punching your insides.
‘’Fuck, I’m going to cum’’ he warned, covering you with his body but not crushing you, his weight doesn’t affect you and you wanted more, so the hand he wasn’t holding moved to his back and scratched him, making him hiss and move his hand to between your bodies, to thumb your clit and push you to cum with him.
Twitching inside you, he came while murmuring a soft my girl, and you tried to ignore those words, thinking that was just something that came to him because of pleasure, and that he would forget later.
He fell over you, this time he felt heavier, but you still didn’t mind, and pressing the tip of your fingers over the scratches you left on his back, you sighed, relaxed to have him there.
‘’Sorry,’’ you said after, when you were on his bed and he was showing you his back, only wearing his boxers and searching for your shirt while you were covering yourself with his bedsheets.
‘’Why?’’ he asked curious of your words.
‘’Your back’’ you answered, and he turned to see the side of his back in his mirror, which indeed, had lines done by your nails.
He smiled and walked to you, sitting beside you and caressing your cheek before he trailed his fingers to your neck, touching the purple spots he has left.
‘’Then I’m sorry too’’ he said, making you smile too.
‘’Maybe we should stop saying sorry’’ you laughed.
‘’Yeah, maybe we should’’ he answered, laughing too.
He didn’t know what else to say, but he didn’t want to be a coward anymore, and he wanted to say something because he wanted to, not because he thought you were the one who wanted to hear him saying it, and if he was being honest with himself, he knew you wouldn’t like him to say what he was about to anyway, because you, just like he does often, think that you know what he’s thinking, so he guessed that you were probably thinking a way to leave his house to not be a bother to him, but he didn’t want that, and he knew you wouldn’t know it unless he said it.
‘’Stay with me’’ he said, it sounded almost like a command, but you knew it was a question.
‘’Okay then’’ you said, accepting to stay with him, sounding nonchalant, like he usually did, but you looked as relieved as him, and he felt glad that he finally took a step further.
626 notes
·
View notes
Note
Congratulations on 1k fay! You have such a great blog, you deserve each of them and many more!!!
Can I participate in the fay's 1k slumber party?, I'd love a personal playlist + mood board, and I haven't done one ever but it sounds so good, if it's okay, can I do one for you too? 🩷🩷🩷









songs for vina <3
i'm that girl, beyoncé shoot!, itzy the killa (i belong to you), tomorrow x together foreigner, bayli attracted to you, pinkpantheress super rich kids, frank ocean
#I LOVE IT#I'VE NEVER RECEIVED SOMETHING SO PRETTY AND CREATIVY AND AMAZING AND IT FITS MY BLOG SO WELL#if this is the energy i bring here well than you I'm about to die because this is just so incredibly cool#even my favorite txt song
15 notes
·
View notes
Note
💌send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome.💌
SENDING IT BACK TO YOU KITTEN 👁️🫦👁️
Thank you my bunny 💋💖💖💖
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
💌send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome.💌
MWAH!! 🫶

Omg I really just sent you one, thank you! MWAH!!! 💘💖💗
1 note
·
View note
Note
💌send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome.💌
✧٩(•́⌄•́๑)
Thank you sweetheart!!! This really made me start my day a lot better 🥺🩷🩷🩷🩷
1 note
·
View note
Note
ദ്ദി(。•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊ send these stars 🌟✨💫 to your favorite blogs and remind them how bright they are!
🖤😗
Thank you baby I needed this 🥺🩷
#sehodreams thoughts#you're way brighter than me#amazing espectacular genius unique breathtaking#still thinking about Wonbin and Heesung x reader
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hi guys, I know I haven't been posting much lately but there's something I want to make clear and that I'll add in my pinned post later.
To be honest I don't really check who follows me or not all the time because (and this might sound cold) I don't really care who follows me, I'm not responsible for the media any of you consume and this is my blog, I won't publicly judge you for talking shit about smut/dark content and following me or even if you're 06 (you're big enough to know what you're reading), however, not long ago I saw that a 13 year old kid was following me and that is something I can't consciously accept at all.
This blog focuses on adult content, so if I ever discover you're a blank or ageless blogs, I'll block you. After that incident this makes me think that you're probably a kid following me, and I don't want any roaming around here.
My blog features content I can't share with minors and feel comfortable doing so, so I advise you to put your ages because I'm sure this case is not only with me but with other smut writers.
Also, I didn't think I had to say this, but I won't accept people talking to me rudely in my asks either. I won't answer because that's a waste of time, and I'll simply block too. Not long ago I received an entitled ask about sex money feelings die and I deleted it without much thought, but now I realize that I should've blocked the person for having the audacity of talking to me that way. The next time I won't be that kind again, and it was probably a dumb kid doing it too because no normal person would talk to someone else that way, but that's no excuse. In conclusion, I'm kind as long as you're kind to me, so don't ever disrespect me or you'll be blocked too.
#of course if i discover you're underage I'll block you too#the kid user was lavina or something like that#i can't remember but it had something to do with vina and that was why i clicked her profile when i received the not#if you're a writer you could check it too#hope you all have a great day 🩷#sehodreams thoughts
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
✨🌈SEND THIS TO WRITERS YOU THINK ARE WONDERFUL. 🌈✨
obvs had to send this to my fav Riize writer 🖤
STOP FAV RIIZE WRITER IS CRAZY 😭 I LOVE YOU 😭💖 YOU'RE SUCH A WONDERFUL WRITER TOO, I LOVE YOUR STORIES AND YOUR TASTE AND EVERYTHING YOU DO IS IMMACULATE 😭💖💖💖
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
hihiii just wondering if ure planning on continuing sex money feelings die or no hehehe🤭 not pushing it or anything ofc
Hi! Sadly I'm in a block and haven't been able to write anything at all, including sex money feelings die, sorry but I don't know when I will be able to write the next part because I'm really struggling to write anything right now 🥺
#sorry guys 😭#i know there are a few waiting for a next part#but I'm not lying when i say I'm on a terrible block#the ones who follow me on my other blog know about this since i end up tossing 8k/10k fics words because i suddenly hate them#also thank you for asking this respectfully#i want to leave clear that i do not accept entitlement in my asks#and if you're rude to me#I'll directly delete your ask
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
THANK YOUUU FOR THAT HANBIN we need more people to write about him in this community 😕
I'm glad I could add a little something, it was my pleasure!! Oh, and yes, I thought only riize had a shortage of fanfiction (slowly rising again) but I've seen that it's happening in many fandoms? 😭 I think only enhypen has constant daily updates 😭😭😭
#sehodreams thoughts#i'd love to write for more idols but i can't even finish my riize fics#i swear i'm fighting this block 😭
0 notes
Text
I'M NOT OFFICIALLY SAYING I'LL WRITE FOR ZB1 BUT I TALKED ABOUT THIS WITH MY GF IN MY OTHER ACCOUNT AND THOUGHT THAT MAYBE THERE COULD BE A ZEROSE HERE THAT COULD LIKE THE CONCEPT TOO.
ask: being too big to touch urself on ur own so he has to help you and you can’t get off by urself anymore
TW and Tags: dubcon, fingering, squirt, drunk sex, a touch of exhibitionism, spying, skirt fetish(?), pervert!coworker!hanbin x chubby!reader
Coworker!Hanbin eyeing you for a long time because you, his chubby teammate, are always smiling around even when everyone is having a hard time keeping up with the workload.
He respects you a lot because you're smart, kind, and are always helping around when nobody else wants, reason why he can't understand why some people don't treat you better simply because of how you look.
You, realizing it, stop wearing your pretty outfits at work, choosing a more "modest" wardrobe so you don't hear those comments again, shocking him because he never realized how much he liked to see your plump ass and thick legs with them.
Without being able to contain himself, he jerks off to the memory of you wearing a particular skirt that he really likes to see you in. It's simple, black, and you wear it with black stockings too. He's seen that outfit a thousand times, yet he can't stop thinking it's the hottest thing ever just because you were the one wearing it.
He starts to get impatient because he needs to see you wearing that skirt again. Looking at your ass when you bend down to lift things is not enough. He misses the way your stockings became transparent in the highest part of your thighs, and you look great with those pants, but there's nothing like your skirts.
Hanbin does his best to catch a glimpse of something new that excites him exactly like your skirts did. He pays attention to your chest pushing the buttons of your blouses, and the curve of your back, with the hope of feeling the same emotion. Sadly, he can't get the same satisfaction at all (but don't get fooled, he gets hard with the mere sight of you, it's just that nothing makes him cum like your chubby legs and how they look enormous in skirts).
Not much later, thank God because he's having a harder time containing himself with each day that goes by, the office decides to make a two-day one-night trip to appease the people that have been complaining at work. He doesn't feel like spending his weekend with people from the office, and only decides to go after you've said that you'd go too, praying deep inside that you go wearing a skirt again.
You do, and, thanking the universe, he spends the whole first day stuck to your side, helping you with kitchen duty and even acting bold enough to walk with a hand in the small of your back when you two get lost from the group.
At night, when everyone is drunk and most of them are already in their rooms sleeping, you two stay in the open talking about work and drinking. You don't really notice how many shots he's pouring you, or how your drink has more alcohol than what a usual cocktail has, so you keep drinking, laughing at the stories Hanbin tells you, and answering his questions. It's all innocent, until there's a particular moment in which you're too fucking drunk to stop yourself from blabbering, and you don't know how the topic changed to it, but you reveal that you haven't been able to cum in a long time because your tummy and your pussy lips are too much of an obstacle for your hand, which can never do much after arriving exhausted because of the busy schedule at work.
The words that come out of your mouth make him the hardest he's ever been in weeks, thinking how he'd gladly give you a hand. Without noticing, one of his hands is already caressing your knee, murmuring a "poor girl" with those rosy cheeks and his usual smile nowhere to be found. You, not understanding much of what's happening, or the place you're at, only nod.
"I know!" you cry, and open your legs when his hand trails up until it arrives to the border of your skirt.
"I could help you, you know" he offers.
"Uhm?" It's the only thing that comes from your mouth, and he doesn't wait for an answer before his wrist is against the pouch of your tummy and his palm against your clothed pussy.
"i'll help you" he groans, pressing his hand harder, stealing a surprised whimper from you because of how good it felt.
It doesn't take long until he has you over the table, plastic cups on the grass and some spilt drinks making a mess under you, but that's the least of the things that he could care for when he has your fat pussy in front of him.
"Bin- fuck, please, please" you beg. You're delirious, only thinking about the pressure of your abdomen and his slender fingers being perfect for you.
Your skirt is all up, your stockings are ripped and your panties to the side. With one hand he pushes the amplitude of your tummy, using his thumb and index to maintain your heavy lips open so they don't interrupt his job while his other hand is doing its best fucking your gummy walls and then circling your puffy clit, taking turns with his attention, making you cry of how good he's touching you.
"i'll make you cum baby, don't worry, leave it to me" he says, feeling your juices dripping to his wrist with how messy you are. You had no idea you could get that wet, never having dripped to that point on your own. All he can notice is how your poor pussy has been so unattended it's practically begging for his cock, and he's dying to give it to you, but the way you're melting from only his fingers is making him dizzy, and with all the alcohol over his head, he doesn't stop until you're coming in front of his eyes, leaking down a heavy stream of your orgasm.
That alone is enough to make him shudder and spurt inside his underwear. He groans, feeling his cum smearing against his skin, and kisses you, tasting the alcohol in your system and the salty rest of your tears. He only talks when you've regained some of your consciousness, "wear skirts at work again, and I'll help you every day."
67 notes
·
View notes
Note
Lucky rose of the day 🌹— 💐
Thank you so much, I want to give you a garden with how sweet this is 😭💚🌳🌼🌻
#i feel so sad i can't give more to the people that still see this blog#my block is not coming better but I'm reading more to see if that helps me#thank you ver much my precious anon#💐 anon
1 note
·
View note
Note
ok u cannot or maybe u can, imagine the look on my face, when i go onto your MASTERLIST and see NOTHING FOR SHOTARO 🚪🚶♀️
I know 😭😞🤧🤢🤮
9 notes
·
View notes