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Corvid: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Dan : I wrote you a poem.

Corvid, already crying: You did?

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Dan: Are we fighting or flirting?

Corvid: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-

Dan: Your point?

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Corvid: Do you want to know your gay name?

Dan: My... my gay name?

Corvid: Yeah, it's your first name-

Dan: Haha. Very funny Corvid-

Corvid: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.

Dan: Oh- oh my god.

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Dan: I’m in love with you.

Corvid: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Dan: I know.

Corvid: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

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Corvid: Is something burning?

Dan, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

Corvid: Dan, the toaster is literally on fire.

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Dan: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Corvid: Okay.

Dan: And make out during the scary parts.

Corvid: Th-

Corvid: The scary parts.

Corvid: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

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Corvid: I feel like doing something stupid.

Dan: I’m stupid, do me.

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Dan: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.

Corvid: Oh. We're going out?

Dan: Wh...

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Dan: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?

Corvid: Aww-

Dan: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!

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Dan, sweating: Corvid, there’s something I need to ask you-

Corvid: Finally! You’re proposing!

Dan: How’d you know?

Corvid: Dan, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Corvid: I even picked it up once.

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Bruno: We both look very handsome tonight.

Corvid: You know, if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you."

Bruno: I couldn't take that chance.

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Corvid: I like your new pants!

Dan: Thanks, they were 50% off!

Corvid: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*

Dan: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.

Corvid: Thats’s… not what I meant.

Dan: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Corvid.

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Dan: How long do you think it'll take?

Corvid: I don’t know, three or four.

Dan: Three or four what? Days? Weeks? Months?

Corvid: Yeah, maybe five.

Dan: Five what?!

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Dan: I can't believe you've done this.....

Corvid: I'm sorry I didn't know-!

Dan, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!

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Corvid: You believe me?

Dan: Corvid, you’re the last good person on this planet. I‘d believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.

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Dan: Can you cut me some slack, Corvid? I’m sort of in love.

Corvid: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem.

Dan: I’m in love with you.

Corvid: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

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Dan: *makes Corvid a cup of tea but puts salt in it*

Corvid: *sips tea*

Dan:

Corvid: *finishes tea*

Dan: Didn't it taste bad?

Corvid: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.

Dan, tearing up: Oh, okay.