self-mythologist - Tumblr blog

[self-mythologist]

this is a prayer to me

[self-mythologist]

wine for idiots

WHITE WINE

if you want to make a wine person very unhappy, say that a white wine they like "is giving me a little green bell pepper?"

RED WINE

honestly the only two questions you need to start credibly talking about red wine are "does it taste like red fruits (strawberry/cherry/raspberry) or black fruits (blackberry/plum)?" and "does it taste oaky (i.e. gently sweet and earthy in a way youd associate with coffee or chocolate or warming spices)

if its a fancy dry wine (not a dessert wine, not port, manischewitz or markovic) dont say "sweet," say "juicy"

FIZZY WINE

if its red and fizzy its probably a lambrusco

if youre drinking champagne talk about the "minerality," even chalk notes if youre feeling gutsy. you dont have to taste it just say it

ORANGE WINE

this is very trendy. youre gonna want to talk about its "funkiness." if you use the term "gym socks" at the right time you will get a round of laughs or at least knowing nods. if you see shmutz in the bottom dont worry about it.

MISC

if you want a wine person to talk for a while and not ask you any questions just ask them how they feel about natural wine. theyll go on for a little and you can decide to agree or disagree based on how hot they are

[self-mythologist]

LOBTER

[self-mythologist]

we are not getting out of the plant blog allegations with this one

[self-mythologist]

Porcelain Crab, Petrolisthes violaceus, family Porcellanidae, coast of Chile

Photograph by matias_saa

[self-mythologist]

banana sofa

[self-mythologist]

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[self-mythologist]

windy evening on the beach tonight

[self-mythologist]

Shelter created hilarious profiles for their cats to help them find forever homes

[self-mythologist]

[self-mythologist]

Chag Pesach Sameach! In honor of the first night of Pesach, let me remind all my followers that in the Beyblade Universe Moses parted the Red Sea with a beyblade, of course. And naturally, this is also what happened in our universe. Have a wicked Pesach! To freedom, dudez!

[self-mythologist]

[self-mythologist]

Get fucked if you think ai can take over art

[self-mythologist]