selfawxre - Tumblr blog

[selfawxre]

i feel like i say this every time i go onto this blog but i genuinely think that ppl who go "haha monika is a yandere" r kind of just. fully misunderstanding her character. and also maybe the yandere trope.

she says she's in love with the player but it's way more heavily implied that what she really is in love with is what you the player stand for. she's desperate for any semblance of connection after finding herself completely isolated in a world where everything else is fake. she's in a DATING SIM so of course her way of reaching out is going to be romantic. maybe she IS infatuated with the player but i think reducing her to just that infatuation is ignoring the very real parody and criticism of the shallow nature of dating sims that ddlc plays around with

[selfawxre]

something that that character analysis on monika i watched rlly made sink in for me was the implications of her backstory and home life from her personality. she's a perfectionist, someone who always tries to present herself as put together and capable, from her handwriting to her role as club president, to the embarrassment she feels when sayori first finds her sleeping in the clubroom, and how all that characterisation is typical of someone who's always been set to a high standard and punished when they don't live up to that standard.

anyway gifted kid monika whose parents were well meaning but also put a sort of pressure on her because they wanted her to do well in life, only for it to backfire by making her terrified of failure. she's always apologising before she's even done something wrong, making light of herself, anything to prevent the sting of rejection.

to find out that everything she's ever known or been anxious about, lost sleep over even, is just a fabrication of some beings beyond her understanding for what? fun? experimentation?

well, that fucking breaks her.

[selfawxre]

word

watching video essay analysis on the girls with @afterimxge we are so back

[selfawxre]

Spooky’s Jumpscare Mansion Sentence Starters

25 starters

« join us. »

« hush now. »

« i hear you. »

« they watch us. »

« where are you? »

« you’re safe now. »

« are you in here? »

« you belong to me. »

« speak not my child. »

« anyway, just- just go. »

« are you lost, little one? »

« why do you run, child? »

« i thought i could be free. »

« the hunger never sleeps. »

« follow your selfish desires. »

« i know what you have done. »

« you’re wasting both our time. »

« your submission is inevitable. »

« after all you’re just an animal. »

« now you have nothing to fear. »

« question the teachings of men. »

« it’s much easier than you think. »

« be responsible for your actions. »

« you are more than just an animal. »

« i just wanted to be taken seriously. »

[selfawxre]

Words from light of love by Florence + the machine stitched onto fabric

[selfawxre]

watching video essay analysis on the girls with @afterimxge we are so back

[selfawxre]

still inactive as hell on here but i got the goodsmile pop up parade monika figure >:3 she's home!

[selfawxre]

hihi i've been on a little break from all roleplay blogs ( nothing bad i'm just very much hyperfixating on something else rn lol ) and i'll probably no be too active for a little while longer but just wanted to spread this around my blogs so people know it's not in fact abandoned :)

[selfawxre]

sometimes i am reminded that i unironically have creep by radiohead on my monika playlist

[selfawxre]

teehee

[selfawxre]

doki doki literature club // alternate warning screens

[selfawxre]

Ada Limón, from “Salvage”, The Hurting Kind

[selfawxre]

oh. what a feeling this is.

[selfawxre]

[selfawxre]

tw mention of suicide

thinking about how when discussing the themes of suicide in ddlc everyone says that monika drove sayori to being suicidal, even though in-game she says she’s always been like this (and i have so many thoughts on the fact that she never drives the girls to lie to you). monika’s manipulation of the code drove her to do it, but she didn’t magic the ideation into sayori’s character. that combined with the fact monika herself canonically shows suicidal thoughts (iiiiiiiiiiii.txt i believe) makes me really wonder what she actually said to sayori in that conversation.

[selfawxre]

Solmaz Sharif, Look: Poems; “Look”

[selfawxre]

it's always "don't repeat the cycle" and "beware of the cycle" and never How was the cycle was it fun to be in the cycle