selfidentifiednerdyprude - Tumblr blog

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

my favorite youtube comment ive ever seen by far

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

happy 1 year anniversary to my friend saying this when i came out as asexual to them <3

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

Wow it’s almost like the oversexualisation of queerness is one of the reasons why asexuals, non-binary folks and aromantics are not seen as queer enough to be part of the community

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

fun fact (not fun at all fact actually) :

aromanticism and asexuality are still treated as issues to be fixed in most therapy settings, at least in the western psychiatric institution. i cannot fucking mention my aromanticism or asexuality to a therapist or it’ll immediately become their primary concern and goal to fix. whether or not i have a partner/am trying to have a partner is actively being used as an indicator of my wellness, regardless of if i WANT one. i cannot have access to needed mental health ressources because of fear of conversion therapy. aro and/or ace conversion therapy is the norm in most psychiatric institutions and we are getting told by the rest of the queer community that our oppression isnt real and that there is no link between our struggles and theirs.

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

to all the insanely sex repulsed asexuals, does anyone else envision themselves smacking their brain with a comically large flyswatter every time they do somehow have sexual thoughts?

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

"In my asexual journey, 'no' becomes a powerful statement, a reflection of my self-worth and the boundaries I cherish. It's a reminder that honoring myself is non-negotiable."

You don't owe it to anyone to give a reason as to why your answer is no. "No" is your complete sentence.

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

"why can't they just be friends" not in the homophobic way but in the "their platonic relationship in the source material is far more dynamic and complex than the sanitized personalities they gain as a result of shipping" way

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

Every time someone talks about how it's our "purpose" or how we're "meant to" to reproduce, I want to tear my reproductive organs out and slam them down on the table.

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

New research: shining light on dehumanising discrimination faced by asexual people

10,2% of all asexuals are victims of conversion therapy (compared to: homosexual: 7,6%, pansexual: 6,6%, bisexual: 5,2% people)

18.1% of ace respondents said a disclosure of their sexual orientation had had a negative impact on their health care. 

The pathologisation of asexuality continues to affect the acceptance and understanding of this orientation, as well as the well-being of asexual people.

Asexuality is still a pathologised sexual orientation in the UK under the ICD, with the inclusion of “Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder" (HSDD). [...] It was the campaigning of asexual people in the US that led to the amendment of HSDD in the DSM-5. Although HSSD continues to exist as a type of ‘sexual dysfunction’ - under the more gendered form of “Female sexual interest/arousal disorder” and “Male Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder” - a qualifier was added. It states that “if a lifelong lack of sexual desire is better explained by one’s self-identification as ‘asexual,’ then a diagnosis should not be made.” While this does not protect those who have not yet discovered that they are asexual, it is a step in the right direction. It is a step that has not taken place in the UK.

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

it would be REALLY cool if charactrs in media that are heavily implied to be aroace actually stay as aroace instead of them finding the right person and they end up having sex either way . idk just a thought

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

i feel like fandom doesn’t get asexuality (and other aspec identities, but i’m using asexuality here lmao)

this was brought to the front of my mind again when hazbin hotel exploded in popularity this year, and people completely disregarded the canonical asexual character, so they could ship him with people.

allo people in fandom tend to use the phrase “asexuality is a spectrum” as a gotcha! thing.

now, i’m not denying asexuality isn’t a spectrum. it is! it’s just allo people in fandom (99.99% of the time) don’t care. the people saying asexuality is a spectrum are usually the same people who would be weird about an asexual person having sex.

a majority of the “character study” fanfic i’ve read have had some focus on romance, sometimes sex. it just shows that to allo people, a character isn’t interesting if they don’t fuck.

and i wouldn’t care much if the character weren’t written in an allo way! it’s very obvious, to me, whetehr an author is tagging smut as “asexual (character)” for brownie points, or if the person has either done research into how asexuality affects sex, or is the research themselves.

i know this topic has been driven to the ground, but i just feel super strongly about it.

(also people ignore the most glaringly obvious asexual subtext but that’s another thing lmao)

🟣

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

Appreciate your blog in a lot of ways.

As a plural who's just...collectively sysian (so, we are attracted to people within our system and ONLY pur system), our relationships get treated as less "real" than external world ones, even the ones that would otherwise be completely conformant.

We used to identify as asexual (and then aceplex, once we discovered we were plural) before finding this out (that we are sysian) and so we see a LOT of similarities between the acemisia that asexuals are given and the weird intersection of plurmisia and neuroqueermisia that plurals are given.

People often assume plurality is traumagenic (it's not always, we are. Literally a non-traumagenic/an endogenic plural) too, and so there's also that additional layer to unpack as well, something we see assumed with asexuals, and also just plain plf sex-repulsed folks regardless of their sexuality.

So, uh, to make this more understandable via meme:

Sysians 🤝 Sex-repulsed Folks 🤝 Asexuals

Constantly being told their experiences aren't real and you just haven't "found the right one to heal you yet" and other BS.

TLDR. We appreciate your blog a lot. We aren't sure what else to say here? We will always stand with our asexual and sex-repulsed siblings regardless of how much we do or do not change collectively.

Hi! I really appreciate this message. It's always a good day when I get a message that this blog has helped someone or brought someone comfort.

One of my partners is the host of a mixed-origin system and has several in-system relationships (both sexual and not) that we 1000% consider part of our larger polycule, so I'm really glad you& feel safe here. Solidarity with all whose relationships and experiences are considered Less Real™ by the normative establishment, tbh.

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

for what do you not have words?

I am

a breath, taken in,

preparing to speak,

not speaking.

My mouth opens

and silence pours out

like water.

To speak,

to speak unpermitted,

every word a parcel of meaning

and not a whispered exhalation,

is luxury.

I hope to one day know it.

I think I knew it once.

I was a confident child,

before this world bound and gagged me.

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

when is comes to asexuality and aromanticism you have to be okay with contradiction. one ace person will say asexuality is about not experiencing attraction, another will say it’s about not caring to act on attraction, another will say it’s not experiencing arousal. one aromantic will consider themself queer, one won’t. two people with seemingly identical experiences will use two different labels. aro people will be in romantic relationships, ace people will have sex. you get it.

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

Spoiler: there aint anyone im attracted to