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May your pain medication always kick in right after you take them. May your compression garments always slip on your body with ease. May you always find your footing when you walk. May you wake up with energy and zest. May your sinuses always be clear

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Affirmations bc i'm disabled & struggle with internalized ableism:

I am doing good. My goals are mine, and I don't need to compare myself to other people.

I am inherently worthy as a human being, regardless of my productivity (or lack thereof).

I am allowed to rest, and it is okay that I need to rest almost 24/7 because of my disabilities. Rest is not a break to be earned; it's a need, and everyone's needs are different.

I am allowed to enjoy things simply because they make me happy. My joy is a human need, not something to be commodified.

I have so many strengths: thoughtfulness, compassion, gentleness, creativity, etc. These are the core of who I am.

I am loved and cared for. There are so many people like me across the world, and any time I feel lonely, there is another disabled person somewhere feeling the same. In the same vein, there are disabled activists who are fighting for us; being a voice for people who can't make their voice heard, or don't even know it's an option.

I am not alone <3 And neither is the person reading this. We are worthy, valued, and important. No ifs, ands, or buts.

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the whole underlying issue with psychiatric drugs is not whether they are truly Good or Bad, it’s the human right to bodily autonomy. the nuances of the issue become much clearer when you aren’t stuck in the weeds of moralizing psych diagnosis & treatment per se or trying to come to ontological conclusions about whether diagnoses are “real” or not. the DSM provides a deeply flawed and hierarchical framework for describing and organizing often very real human experiences for which people need support from other humans and sometimes chemicals. if you get too lost in the social machinations of diagnosis or committed to some wrongheaded idea that anyone who believes they need psych meds to survive is some kind of idiot capitalist bootlicker then you end up with extremely reductive views like “psych drugs bad!” or “psych drugs good!” When really what matters is that people have the power to make their own decisions about their own bodies/minds.

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i think one of the things that was most helpful for me in considering my own relationship with drugs prescribed by psychiatrists was meeting and talking to people who used those same drugs for fun. i was able to get a lot more accurate information on what those drugs actually felt like and what parts people liked and why they sought those drugs out. being able to know that people took xyz drug because they liked the way it was a downer, or that xyz drug was great for feeling relaxed and they liked the combination with other drugs they chose, was a lot more accurate and helpful information then anything that had been provided to me by a psychiatrist (pretty much exclusively the disease model of psych drugs, where psychiatrists told me that i was deficient/chemically imbalanced/etc and that this drug was manufactured for specific diagnoses and could target an underlying "disease process." none of which is particularly accurate or helpful information.)

and don't get me wrong, i don't want to take any of the psych drugs that have ever been prescribed to me ever again, i very recently was forcibly instituionalized and forcibly drugged due to my refusal to take meds. but talking about psych drugs like the other drugs i do choose to use was helpful for understanding the actual ways these drugs function and then identifying the multitude of harms within the prescription of psych drugs (forced drugging, coercion, lack of informed consent, misleading explanations of function, lack of explanation of side effects, low threshold for "effectiveness" on the research + development side of psychiatry, the ideology of cure as eradication, irresponsible polypharmacy/refusal to manage withdrawal, denial of prescriptions +labeling patients as drug seeking for wanting stimulants, etc etc etc).

anyway. solidarity between drug users of all sorts forever and always.

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it is always really palpable to me that like, when we discuss mental illness and advocacy, there's a large percentage of people who conceptualize the "real crazies" -- people with psychosis or schizophrenia, people with dissociative disorders that significantly impact their memory or day to day functions, people with recurrent suicidal episodes, people with actionable and severe self harm impulses, so on -- as an Other category that can't possibly be presently engaging in the conversation. you'll see this a lot especially when discussing things like mandatory reporting and institutionalization with people whose relatively mild and manageable mental illness have crafted them into self-declared experts; they'll tell you very confidently "hey, the institutionalization thing is actually overblown -- i've always been totally honest with my therapist and there's never been an issue! those laws are just there in case you say something really crazy to them." it betrays this real confidence on their part that there's no way they're talking to one of those frightening and unpredictable mentally ill people, the ones those laws are really there to punish save from themselves, because they'd of course be able to tell right away if somebody was the sort of irrational actor who needs and deserves to have their autonomy stripped at a moment's notice

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I hate being put in a deep depression, times like these I wish I was manic but at the same time I wasn’t, it’s so bad I relapsed on drinking too. I’m so underproductive with my studying I have to drink and force myself to get something done but when I’m manic I can do 10 things at once.. But then it’s all counterproductive, I did 40 mins worth of revision just to rest in bed because of how mentally vegetative I feel.. Idk what to do atp because no ones helping me💀

Hey,

thanks for reaching out.

Depression is... well no use wasting words, you know how it is. I can give my own perspective and what worked for me, but in the end, everyone's different, and mania is just a different side of the same coin.

Also when using alcohol as a coping mechanism, please consider that it makes any mood disorders worse in the long term, and if you're currently in depression, it is highly likely to induce anxiety attacks as well.

I feel like there is nothing enough, I can't even begin to offer adequate advice or support. These are some of the ideas and tips that helped me.

1. Acknowledge it

You gotta say it to yourself. Out loud. We veterans know what it means to be in depression, yet we rarely give ourselves permission to feel bad. Despite knowing how bad it is, we continue to feel guilt, trying to push ourselves through it. It is okay. You are okay.

2. Make a choice

So, when you weigh everything, you also have to make a choice. Should you turn to professional help? Take time off school? Or is this non-negotiable? Whatever you choose is okay, but you have to choose.

3. Create, darling

Depression is paralysing, passive, but it also lies. It makes you believe you are a failure. Yet, writing your thoughts, sketching silly cartoons, dressing up, trying new yoga poses... all that is creation, the opposite of the bleak cycle. So, create, darling.

4. Revisit your childhood

The food, movies, music... the warm familiarity of childhood can bring something new, fill you up, hug you, like fuzzy socks.

5. Now that you feel even a tad bit better

...choose one thing. Do you want to pass? Okay, studying it is. Write down the goal for today. Review 2 chapters, outline an essay, write practice questions, etc... But this means you have to deal with emotions and negative thoughts. If it gets too much, you have to quit and pick the task of rest for the day.

6. Ancient wisdoms and This Too Shall Pass

Maybe in the end, philosophers, poets, and artists knew best. And somewhere in those desperate hours, there is always the notion that everything passes, turns around, or ultimately changes. It's not always a great comfort because it doesn't help you momentarily. But it's nice to keep it somewhere in the back of your mind, as a bit of a pointer when it's pitch black.

If you are trying to work around depression you have to force things. I feel that letting everything go and focus on healing works faster, but... we don't always have that option. Life happens, and it rarely waits for you. So. Push. In the morning, scream affirmations if you must. Forcefully pat yourself on the back. Begrugingly admit that you're proud of yourself. Find friends, family, animals, funny TV shows, and escapist books. Sleep, food, love, study, repeat. It will get easier, slowly, but you have to push.

If you reach the point, you know it, when it falls apart, you need to stop. Sometimes that's the point of depression, to get us to stop and rest. You can always retake exams. But you can't get your life back if you bomb it, either with alcoholism or mania.

If I may be so bold to suggest, the poet Rainer Maria Rilke always brought me solace in the darkness. Also, music. Also, animals.

I wish you the absolute best in life and recovery. I urge you to arm yourself with whatever support and system you can find. And maybe you can afterwards indulge us in your success story.

Love, always

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Was anyone gonna tell me the reason I developed involuntary facial tics is because of a possible side effect of antipsychotics called “tardive dyskinesia,” which can be permanent even once you get off the medication, or was I just supposed to find that out by lazily misspelling “archive” in google?

Anyway thank you Zyprexa, not only for the worst few months of my life mental health-wise, but also for these potentially permanent tics I’ve had for years now (:

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real. t made me gain like idk actually cause i was also in anorexia recovery, but yeah i like having muscle now.

If T makes you gain weight and E and antidepressants do it too, and so does enjoying good food and not being hungry all the time, then perhaps maybe sometimes joy & weight gain come hand in hand and that's good

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Reblog of shame for user above. What a fucking joke of a post. I got prescribed zyprexa and now my brain and emotional regulation is a bajillion times worse than before I did it. But ignore my experiences and enjoy being a lobotomized cash cow for big pharma. Hahahaha get fucked. :)

Also you're 14. Wait four years, go to an adult ward and then tell me how fun it is when you're prescribed brain fog in a pill. :)

abolish psych wards now and forever

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I think if you have a migraine disorder you should be allowed to kill one (1) noisy person per attack without consequence

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zyprexa and its consequences have been a disaster for my brain's functioning