selftranszendence - Tumblr blog

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The trick is to do it without shame. Literally anything could be cool if you just did it shamelessly

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I blog from this house.

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need a cup of coffee. an excellent therapist, some wiser older human to cry to. a poem that’ll have my neck between its teeth, a million dollars, to go somewhere far. to retreat, to overcome my fear of trying and of facing a blank page. etc, etc

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stop asking who’s the man and who’s the woman in gay relationships and start asking which ones the serial murderer and which ones the one trying to catch them

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“In fact, it could be argued that so-called ‘toxic positivity’ is more hazardous a phenomenon than the matter-of-fact attitude of negativity. In vogue as a psychological phenomenon, toxic positivity is essentially the idea that negative emotions are inherently ‘bad’ and that the most suitable response to emotional turmoil or pain is always a positive mindset (however inappropriate that may be.) Indeed, toxic positivity at large has become so ubiquitous as to represent something of an inculcated attitude in some people’s everyday interactions with one another. It is the (often unintentional) gaslighting platitudes desperately rendered in response to negativity. “Everything happens for a reason,” the terminally ill patient hears; “It could be worse,” someone bleats as another loses their job; or, “At least you have your health,” says the friend to a fresh divorcée. More explicitly, the cultural sensation of #goodvibesonly exhibits an almost cultist traction and boasts 12.8 million posts on Instagram. Predictably, the trend is one where social media influencers – preaching from the pulpit of the self-proclaimed life coach – evangelize an unhealthy denial of anything that might trouble the waters of their fragile world. Unimaginably utopian beach selfies are accompanied by the banal slogans of cultist optimism; while the good vibes may tell you that ‘you can do anything you set your mind to’, the untenable positivity is both unshielded and unsafe. In its stress-inducing suppression and dangerous infantilism, the almost dogmatic nature of toxic positivity inhibits raw human emotion and invalidates the necessary negative feelings we all have in life. The blindly optimistic lunge towards a meretricious idea of positivity is one deeply traced by the logic of 21st-century capitalism and its ceaseless drives for production. We should not police our emotions. Perpetual happiness is impossibly perilous and the attempt to suppress the lows of life can create deep-seated stress, which is detrimental to physical health and mental wellbeing.”

— Enis Yucekoralp, The Art of Negativity: On Rejecting Positive Thinking (via luxe-pauvre)

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“Forgive yourself for the blindness that put you in the path of those who betrayed you. Sometimes a good heart doesn’t see the bad.”

— Unknown

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i hope you buy things that bring you joy. i hope you wear clothes that make you feel good. i hope you decorate your home however you like. i hope you don’t wake up dreading going to work. i hope you meet people that make your heart sing. i hope you discover hobbies that fulfill you. i hope you go on fantastic adventures that give you unforgettable memories. i hope you do things just because you want to, and i hope you don’t feel like you have to justify your decisions to anybody. i hope you find happiness. i hope you cultivate a life you love.

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when nettle & bone said "the history of the world was written in womens wombs and womens blood and she would never be allowed to change it"

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No because pride and prejudice isn't "I changed myself for you so you would love me back." It's "your blatant rejection and disdain for me made me realize things about myself no one had ever been bold enough to tell me so I sat down and evaluated all my behavior patterns and why they came about and came to the realization myself that I had to work on myself. Also I don't expect you to love me now that I'm a work in progress, so I'm just going to do nice things for you because I don't like seeing you hurt." No wonder P&P fans refuse to settle.

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yeah

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“[W]e might as well admit that trying to relinquish a person who incarnates the bedrock of our desire��and who consequently feels irreplaceable to us—can be agonizing. Yet sometimes we need to do exactly this in order to survive. Thankfully, we do not usually experience too many of such losses during our lives. But when we do, we are altered beyond reckoning. Even if we over time manage to get our lives back on track, we will never be the same as we were before this love and its loss. When we surrender a person who represents the bedrock of our desire, we give up a part of ourselves. And we give up the fantasy of ultimate satisfaction; we give up the promise of unconditional love. There is no way to go on with our lives without carrying the melancholy trace of this event into our future. There is no way around the fact that we will always bear (and transmit to others) the deep wound inflicted by it. The wound will fade over time, of course. But it may never heal completely.”

— Mari Ruti, from “The Intrigue of Obstacles,” from The Summons of Love (Columiba University Press, 2011)

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i want to learn ceramics, to play the electric guitar, bass, painting, i want to go camping, get into film photography, learn about tea, coffee and wine, all trees and flowers from my country, try out all fruits ever, know how to cook heavenly, have a cosy house and invite people i love and have a wall they can decorate and a handmade outfit from scratch that i’ll keep forever, have a communitary vegetable garden, own a bookshop that’s also a flowershop that’s also a café

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OCT 7 / 22

it will be ok!!?!?!

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