senversum

[senversum]

A final signal. Gaza is completely cut off from the world—no internet, no connection—and Israel is blocking every attempt to reconnect, targeting anyone who tries. Now Iran is being bombed and the region stands on the brink of explosion while we remain trapped in deadly silence. If this message reaches you, it may be our last chance. Help us secure a safe home and education for our children❤️‍🩹 Don’t let Gaza disappear in silence.

[senversum]

Hey, gang. How is it going? It’s been a while since I last posted, and although at first it was because I was working on my new projects, as of late it had to do with a medical emergency regarding my partner. I don’t usually talk about him (I think I’ve mention him once or twice on my personal blog) but we’ve been together for a long time and last December I thought I was going to lose him.

It shook me hard, gang. And it’s only now that I feel more or less ready to open up about it, and take care of my socials while at it. The thing is, everything that went down has left us a bit uncertain about the future. So much so, I’ve been contemplating creating a Patreon.

It’s still too soon to tell, but I guess I wanted to let you all know in case someone is interested.

I’ve also written down a snapshot of December-January. Call it group therapy.

Hope everyone is doing fine, for my part I’m feeling better. Lots of hugs!

It’s 3 AM when I wake up. In the dark, something huge plummets from the sky like the blade of a guillotine falling in slow motion. A plane, I’m sure of it (I’m always sure of it) and it’s coming down to crash on my two-room home.

I stay motionless in bed, staring at the dark, my heart about to burst out of my chest, and I wait...

And I wait…

But the plane sails away, the baritone screaming of the blade following behind.

I don’t leave my bed until I can’t hear it anymore.

Later on, I tell my parents and grandma about it at lunch. “I feel like something bad is going to happen.”

“Something like what?”

“Dumbest answer? A plane is going to crash down on my house. Less dumb answer, el Flako is going to have a car accident.” A blade made out of a car roof or door, slashing the air, slicing through the tender flesh of his neck. His head flying out of the cabin of his truck, or falling on the passenger seat.

I laugh because at 1 PM it sounds stupid and I can almost wipe out the awful image of his headless body from my mind. My aphantasia is nowhere to be found whenever I picture the most horrific deaths of the people I love.

My mom gives me a blister pack of my grandma’s anxiolytics. “Take a quarter whenever those thoughts appear.”

When el Flako comes from work I tell him I can’t wait for December to end. When he asks me why that is, I tell him it’s a shit month and that everything bad always happens in December.

I take a quarter of a pill whenever I feel like bad news are around the corner. I’m jumpy. Car honks make my skin itch all over, a kid scream makes my heart race. It’s worse at dawn. Planes keep playing chicken with me.

It’s December 24 and el Flako and I spend christmas eve camping in front of the Río Talabera. We drink pear cider and beers while stargazing. No planes follow me here. I didn’t take my anxiolytics with me.

We travel back home. My dad is sitting out when we arrive. A single look at his face tells me something is very wrong. He looks old.

“What happened?” I ask.

“The water tank fell through your roof.”

It fell on grandma, I’m sure of it. “Is everyone alright?”

“Yes.”

Then why do you look like it killed someone? I want to ask. Instead I push, “For real?”

“Yes.”

My muscles relax. Yeah, it sucks. It’s the third water tank that gets obliterated—the first one burned down before we could even install it, the second one flew off the roof in the storm of December 17, 2023. This one was full, and a faulty base couldn’t withstand one tonne of water. Death by fire, air, and water; this shit is really starting to look like the avatar of water tanks.

It’s fine I tell myself, nobody is hurt, it could’ve been so much worse. Sure, it broke a more or less small part of my very new roof, but I’m sure we can fix it.

Innerly, I let out a sigh of relief. This is it. This is why I’ve been fearing something falling down on me. Case closed.

December ends in a week from now.

My anxiety drops for exactly 5 days.

It’s 5 AM on December the 30th andI’ve just sat on the toilet when my phone starts ringing. It’s el Flako’s brother. “Don’t fret,” he begins, “[el Flako] passed out at work. Another trucker called an ambulance and is with him at the hospital. I’m about to go see him.”

“Could you pick me up first?” I ask. If he can’t, I’m taking an uber, but he can.

We spend the entire hour-long trip to the hospital assuring each other el Flako is fine; he never has breakfast before going to work, not even mate or mate cocido. It has to be that. We purposely avoid discussing what his coworker said about el Flako being unable to speak, or stand by himself. Or how he couldn’t follow the paramedic’s instructions while on the ambulance.

When we finally arrive, we zip through rows and rows of tired, scared looking people waiting for news of their own relatives in the Emergency wing.

“There he is,” says el Flako’s brother, and I spin my head around waiting to see my life partner. Instead I see a late thirties, early forties guy sitting on a metal chair. He is rubbing his eyes.

He is crying.

He is not crying.

He is crying because el Flako is dead.

He is a coworker, not even a close one.

He turns to see us approach, and my stomach drops. He looks like my dad before he told me the water tank had taken a piece of my roof with it.

He stands up.

I can’t feel my legs.

He is crying. His eyes are red.

I feel like I’m walking on stilts, or like all my joints have fused together.

“Hey,” he says. They give each other a dap, and when he tries the same with me, I go for a greeting kiss. I always accept daps, but there’s only one thing in my mind at the moment.

Is he dead? I want to ask. “Is he awake?” I ask instead.

“Yes,” he replies. I think I say something, I think I give thanks to something—the universe, god, the devil—I’m not sure. I’m not religious but I was born in a catholic country and that stuff is hard to shake off. “The doctor wants to talk to a relative.”

“I go,” I say, and el Flako’s brother gives me the go ahead. I’m not el Flako’s relative, I am his partner. Our anniversary is in 2 months: 17 years since I asked him to be my boyfriend. But we aren’t married. His brother doesn’t mind, though; he isn’t married to the mother of his children either and they’ve been together for almost 20 years.

The doctor tells me el Flako had a brain hemorrhage. He asks me if el Flako takes drugs. No, he doesn’t. Does he drink? We had some wine last night, I say. The doctor looks confused.

“How old is he?”

“34,” I reply, and, “What is the worst case scenario?” Because my anxiety is killing me, and I need to know there’s a roof to all of this, a limit, something. I’m drowning in the middle of the sea here.

“Worst case scenario, he slips into a coma,” the doctor tells me.

Not death, my mind takes a hold of that fact like it’s a rope ladder someone threw at me from a helicopter.

And maybe because the doctor realizes I haven’t understood the severity of the situation, he adds, “It’s a lot of blood pushing against his brain. It’s shifted his longitudinal fissure—the ‘crack’ of the brain between the two cerebral hemispheres.”

The doctor tell us “relatives” to go in and talk to him. El Flako is awake, and the moment I see him it feels like I can breath again after having my head underwater. He says he’s fine, but half of his body lacks strength, he’s speaking as if drunk, and so low I have to lean in really close to hear him. His brother tells him to stay calm and that everything is going to be OK before leaving.

“You were right,” my life partner mutters. “About your gut feeling. Something bad did happen.” We laugh. We kiss. Then he is crying.

El Flako is a sensitive guy, but I haven’t seen him cry since we were in our teens and would have dumb fights which culminated in both of us crying. He is doing it now in that silent, tears sliding-down-your-cheeks way. He is scared. I am too, but I hug him and kiss him over and over again. “You are here with me,” I tell him. “You are alive and being taken care off. They got you just in time, don’t fret.”

I have to go. I don’t want to go. I don’t feel like myself when we are apart. We were 17 when we met and started dating, the same span of time we’re about to celebrate in our next anniversary.

I sit in the waiting room feeling like a gutted fish, hollowed up inside, like a carcass, like half of my soul is locked away. It sounds so dramatic, and I’m never been particularly romantic, but I swear there isn’t another way to properly describe it. I’m half-empty.

That first night I return home at around midnight. My mom brings me food and checks on me. I haven’t cried the entire day. I don’t cry with her in the room, but I do cry in the shower, and I cry harder when I get into bed.

Why him? Why? He is one of the most good-natured people I know. He doesn’t deserve this.

But who does? Life doesn’t work that way.

I fall asleep, but I don’t dream.

On the next 3 days we learn El Flako has an arteriovenous malformation, and that it can be treated with a procedure called a brain embolization. It costs 20.000 dollars, and I’m already thinking about asking for donations on this blog, but I don’t need to; his obra social* takes care of it.

They transfer him to their sanatorium that same day. The ambulance trip is uneventful, and while they take him to the ICU, I stay down in the lobby to fill in forms.

He spends the next 10 days in that room before the medical supplies arrive, and he can’t be more done with the situation by this point: all of his roommates are comatose, two of them pass away of horrifying injuries while he’s placed in there, the urinary catheter hurts him, he can’t have his phone with him and obviously he can’t watch TV in there. They keep sedating him, so every day I visit someone that looks like my Flako but is maybe half of the person I know. He wants out. I want him out of there too.

His neurosurgeon asks to speak with a relative before the procedure and I’m half-way to the elevators when I look back at el Flako’s parents. “Go ahead,” his mom tells me. The surgeon is so young, and he says the procedure should go well, but there’s always the possibility of rupturing an artery and leaving el Flako in a worse state. He’s been getting better ever since; the strength in his muscles is coming back, and he doesn’t speak slurring his words anymore, although the slight stutter he’s always have has worsen. “Any more bleeding is bad news for him,” the neurosurgeon tells me, “But if we don’t do it, you can be sure his brain will bleed again.”

I sign the papers.

“You can talk to him before we bring him here.”

I do just that.

“It is what I want,” el Flako tells me. “I’m tired of being coop up here.”

“Aren’t you worried?”

“No.” He thinks about it. “Can it go wrong?”

I wonder if I should lie, but only for a second. “Always. It’s a medical procedure. But if you don’t do it, then it will definitely bleed, and we will be back where we started.”

“Yeah.” He grabs my hand and I give it a tight squeeze.

They take him away. I’m incomplete again. I take half a pill.

I fall asleep in the waiting room. I don’t dream. I haven’t since December the 30th. I think the part that handles my dreaming sticks to him.

Four hours later, at half past 10 PM they call us up. I am waiting outside the operating room alongside el Flako’s dad. The neurosurgeon, steps out and offers both of us his hand to shake. “It was a success,” he says and I feel like I need a wider face just so I can smile a bigger smile. Then to me, he adds, “Everything I say could go wrong, didn’t. He’s just waking up from being under.”

He opens the door and I catch a glimpse of el Flako and the people in charge of keeping him alive and well. A group of five women and men get at the feet of his bed. “One, two, three,” they say before pushing it out of the room. I lost count of how many Thank yous I shoot their way, and they beam at me as they accept them.

El Flako is still dazed, but he holds up a hand when his dad and I wave enthusiastically at him. He doesn’t put it down even as the orderlies roll him into an elevator.

He is discharged from the sanatorium 2 days later. We get married a day after our 17th anniversary.

I’m dreaming again and I only take anxiolytics whenever it starts to feel too much like the last five minutes of a Nightmare on Elm Street movie. I guess that stuff won’t get magically fixed, but we’re taking it one day at a time.

*I can’t find the English translation for “the agency in your job that takes care of your hospital bills”. In Argentina it’s Obra Social, and every month they take a part of your payment so they can pay for your medical bills (and your partner’s and children’s) should you need it down the road.

[senversum]

I made an art/anatomy tutorial about birds! I hope people will find it helpful!

[senversum]

Please Help (Urgent Commission)

im opening an urgent commission for 2-3 slots (you could dm me here or visit my ko-fi at https://ko-fi.com/senversum)

My chubby cat (Meng2) has not been well for the past few weeks, he has high temperature (did he caught a cold or something? Im not really sure), He barely move around lately coz he got no energy and he could only sleep or lying down the whole day, lately he tend to cough and puke daily, he also got a diarrhea, he lost his voice and lately i could barely hear his meowing, he already lost a lot of weight.. im afraid of him getting any worse and i wanna bring him to a professional/doctor for some medical care but im basically penniless, i dunno what happened to him.. he is a cat i got from my late mother whom just passed away in 30th April, i dont wanna see him suffer any longer.

Please help me give him the medical help he needs ಥ‿ಥ.. thank you.

[senversum]

SAM'S NEW WINTER OUTFIT IS A PERSONAL ATTACK

[senversum]

This is not a natural disaster. This was not inevitable. They didn't grow up like this. It was inflicted on them by the vilest sadists on earth.

[senversum]

3 and a half character portraits!

Here, I have 3 and a half character portraits to share that I commissioned and then completely forgot to put on my tumblr lol. The artist is the highly talented @senversum, please give him all the love for this, cause this is his work not mine. <3

Kaito Busujima:

Midori Yasukawa:

Makoto (Male and female versions)

M

F

I hope you all love these as much as I do! Thank you again, @senversum, for being a pleasure to work with!

[senversum]

this has been my wattpad baby for a long time and now i’ve given it an interactive makeover. @albywritesfiction and i have been working on coding it and after a lot of trial and error, we finally made a decent demo out of it!

i won’t be making any blog for this as it’s just a fun interactive fanfiction project which we’ll be updating on the side, but it may change in the future, who knows. for all the percy jackson fans, i guess this will be a bonus on top of the new PJO show.

this was first released on wattpad back in 2014 (yes, i was like 12 back then) and since then, i’ve converted it into something in which readers can actually play as the protagonist. although my old wattpad account was deleted (rip kissmylefttoe), i’m happy to say that i had my old cringey drafts to recover and edit 😭

huge thanks to alby for actually making a coherent product out of all the messy ass codes which they had to sort through 😭 without them, this project wouldn’t have seen the light of the day at all. i love working with them and this collaboration has been overall stellar!

explore the world through new lenses as you tackle fighting Greek monsters and gods who want you dead.

customize your name, gender, pronouns, sexuality, and your godly parent out of the Big Three.

zeus, of the sky, thunder, lightning, kingship, honor, and justice.

poseidon, god of the sea, storms, earthquakes, droughts, floods, and horses.

hades, god of the underworld, dead, and riches.

get expelled for the ninth time in a row.

unravel dangerous prophecies and find out why the Fates should stick to playing bingo in a retirement home.

make some friends and some very dangerous enemies.

visit a casino, fight Medusa, and a chihuahua.

destroy a national monument.

take a trip to atlantis, hell, and heaven (sort of).

prevent another civil war from happening before the summer solstice.

lace-up your shoes, grab your pen and shield, and embark on a quest to retrieve zeus’s master bolt before he gets very, very angry.

sounds like a party you’d be interested in? play it here

[senversum]

Opening Character Art Commission (2-3 slot available/ 2 weeks - a Month done/ depending on the complexity

Hello Everyone… first of all nice to meet you guys. you could called me Sen, I'm known as the artist for Totem Force, Unearth Your Gays, and The Onryō of Osaka.

i've been taking hiatus on digital drawing for years, the last time i did some art was in 2021, the reason for it was something im not comfortable enough to disclose in a lot of detail (im sorry) short summary of some of them (beside the covid case) are these :

in 2019 ive been living alone, which makes me have more time to work on art

but i have to come back to my parents house at the start of 2020 to take care of them and my lil sister which taking more of my daily life time

since my parents quite old i have to fully take care of the house chores and such like taking care of my lil sister education, managing the administration file and such when she have to apply for her Junior High School

managing monthly bills like electricity, water, gas, etc (not to mention that i just become unemployed to take care of the house)

i also have to manage our daily food like doing grocery in the morning after taking my lil sister to her school, preparing food for my family (cooking for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and my lil sister packed lunch)

another house chores like cleaning the house, doing dishes and such

not to mention dealing with family drama for my mentally abusive parents (the reason why i leave the house in 2019 and living on another city away from them) which taking a lot for me to stay sane

around 2022 my mom took a turn and make a mess of our life, she ended up diagnosed with bipolar and mentally unstabled state, which cause a lot of problem with neighbours and relative. she cause harmed to herself and other which ended up making me the one to blame for "not taking good care of her"

forgot to mention i also have to deal with my parents debt on top of it (dad never pay the monthly bill for years and caught in indefility, mom taking a bunch of debt from bank and loan shark, lil sister got neglected since i left the house (and yes it was me who usually take care of her since birth she basically said im more of a parent figure for her than her own parents)

there are a lot more i couldnt mention which ended up taking me to a dark places and makes my life feels too much of a burden, i was considering to end myself in 2022 (unfortunately not my first attempt considering how tiring it was to live under my parents abusive tendency in my youth)…

it tooks me a while to get a grip on myself again, but i decide to keep on living my life in hope it get better, not to mention i hate the thought of burdening other people by taking the easy way out, i still owe a lot of people, and my lil sister still need me to keep on taking care of her, and i dont know what will happened with this house if theres no one to take care of it

im not talking to any professional yet but talking with some close friend online does help quite a lot in sorting out my thoughts.

im stable enough now to deal with my daily life in this house, and im planning to stick with it until my lil sister graduated from her high school in around 3-4 years in the future. in my vision she will be old enough to taking care of herself then so i could get my rein back to focusing on my own life

Long story short im slowly getting back on drawing digitaly since 28 march this years, and lets be honest… i couldnt fully work on my backlog without earning any income for my living cost while im at it, so hopefully by taking another comission alongside my overdue list i could get through all of it. and please dont worry and thinking i will neglect your commision, i will give my best to finish it within 2 weeks - a month (depending on the complexity of it). you could talk more detail with me if you decide to take my service offer

Im thanking all of you for even considering reading all this stuff, sorry for the long post and thank you..

TL:DR im opening character art commision for like 2-3 slots, you could find more of my samples here :

and i will post my commission sheet here :

once again sorry for the long post, and please contact me if you are interested… thank you <3

[senversum]

I posted this a month ago on Patreon which means now it's time for everyone to finally see male Hunter! ✨️

Look at our very unattainable Shield 💗

Artist is @/CGcrescent on Twitter/X !

[senversum]

I love him.

Hadrian from The Golden Rose by @anathemafiction <3

[senversum]

PROGRESS UPDATE

hey everyone, sorry i haven’t updated in a long time. i’ve been dealing with a lot of family losses and thought that it was high time i tried not to interact with social media for a while. it’s not 100% okay, frankly i don’t think it’ll ever be back to normal, but i hope to cope with it regardless since i have a good support system rn.

as for writing, i’ve started on chapter 2 of WLB since i got done with the multiple presentations and reports i needed to do for this semester. there were a lot of medico-legal aspects to cover so that there won’t be many plot holes but hey, at least being a forensics major is coming into use rn. i hope to finish it up and release it before 2023 ends.

i’ve started on the scenes introducing J and am debating on working on the detective introduction at the same time too while i’m at it. sebas will either be introduced in this chapter or the next, depending on how the flow works. overall, i’m quite satisfied with how the chapter is shaping up.

i’m graduating next summer too (class of 2024, unite!) so i’ll be extra busy with all the internships and reports and seminars i need to run around for. however, i’ll still try to write whenever i get free time cause writing is one of my gateways to moments of peace and quiet.

once i get the second chapter out for WLB, i have plans to rest and focus on applying for a master’s degree. hopefully in 2-3 years, i’ll have a satisfactory job which will let me pursue writing part-time on the side.

anyways, that's all for this week’s update. hope y’all are staying hydrated, fed and happy!

[senversum]

Book 2 Prologue

It's short.

(Don't import, you might get bugs)

[senversum]

The Story of Sin [UPDATE 10/31/2023]

Hey guys! Happy Halloween!

I'm very excited to bring you... the prologue and first chapter of SoS! 😊

What you can expect from these chapters:

Defy your parents [one last time 👀]

Lose your memories

Meet Will and Anya

Have some strange, disturbing thoughts [Who doesn't, from time to time... Am I right?]

Just some general info about the demo so far; feel free to flirt with everyone, to your hearts desire. The romance stats aren't set up yet. 😂 I'm not entirely sure how I want them to work yet, so I haven't made any. [There are flirt options, marked so you know which is which, but the only difference is some text lmao]

Also, there is most definitely going to be some grammatical errors if you choose pronouns that aren't binary- meaning if you choose anything other than she/he, etc., then there is going to be some weird grammar through the chapter. I'll be sure to fix it, it's just a little extra coding I don't have the time to figure out right at this moment. 😥

You can play the demo here on Itch.io. Also, check out this main post for more information and whatnot.

See you guys next month!

CURRENT WORD COUNT: 8,879

[senversum]

Demo Paranormal [DEVLOG 10/24/2023]

Hey guys, long time no see! 😊

I just updated the Murmur/Reader story with part 2! You can find it by going to 'special content' on the main screen. It's called 'Have to know'. 

BEFORE READING! Just so you know, you have to re-read it from part one, otherwise the name and gender/pronouns won't work!  

See you guys later! 

You can find a link to the game and whatnot from this post.

[senversum]

GGGLU Update 1—PUBLIC RELEASE

The public release of Update 1, the prologue is out!

Wordcount: +13k words total

Can't wait for you guys to read it, and I'm looking forward to your messages :) disclaimer as I'm both the sole author and sole beta-tester I'm almost certain that there will be oversights on my part, if you see any during your playthrough please don't hesitate to bring it to my attention so I can try and squish any remaining bugs (of which there are many).

I'm hoping to take a short break from writing before starting on the bulk of Chapter One.

P.S. As it's the prologue there is admittedly not a large amount of differentiation between the choices you can take besides a certain noticeable difference.

Features

Be accepted to PLU, celebrate with your mother, father and brother though you might have to have some hard conversations.

Help your mother flex her metaphorical mom muscles on your neighbours or embarrass her with your lack of tact.

Meet A for the first time since they left high school—be friendly, flirty or just downright annoying.

Special Jason and A scenes, that you can unlock via your actions.

[senversum]

‼️IN NEED OF HELP - please read!!‼️

Reblogs are also greatly appreciated!! :)

Hi, back to bump my commissions again since we're getting to our payment deadline this week and we're still a good bit short. I've been doing my best to try and get everything we need but so far, nothing has been helping so I'm hoping to get some help here if possible since today is our last full day to try and get everything together.

For those who are just coming across this post, hi I'm Link and for two years now, my family and I (father and younger sibling) have been homeless due to a series of events back in November 2021 (my dad was in a diabetic coma and lost his van driving job so he and my sibling were left without a home, at the same time i was also left with nowhere to live so I got my friend to drive us to a motel, opened commissions and tried to keep us afloat from there.)

Just this month we've been able to pay for a week instead of daily, which was a blessing since we were barely paying for food, let alone rent. I'm hoping that we can get the rest of what we need (130$) because if we can't, we'll have to go back to paying daily. Which means, since they changed their policies from allowing us to let us take a day to collect the money if we needed, the moment we don't have it we will be kicked out, no if ands or buts. We have no family or anyone to turn to if that happens, so we're in desperate need of help.

Please, if anyone can reblog this or is interested in helping us out financially, you can either d/nate here or commission me! It means a lot since all the money goes to the room, and any little bit really does help. I'll put my prices and examples below if anyone is interested. Thank you if you do help, it really does make all the difference in our lives. :) <3

~Prices~

Sketch (price depending on type of sketch) - base price of 10$

Sketch page - 10$ per sketch

Headshot - 20$ (+10$ if shaded)

Bust - 30$ (+10$ if shaded)

Half body - 45$ (+10$ if shaded)

Full body - 60$ (+10$ if shaded)

Couples Commission (a commission that includes two people) - 90$ (+15$ if shaded)

Group commissions (commission that includes more than two people, price dependant on the details) - 60 base price(one character, unshaded; each extra character is +75% to the original price) (40$+ if shaded) 

Paintings (price depending on the details) - 100$+