seraphisworld - Tumblr blog

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Idontwannabeyouanymore

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Should I stay or should I go?

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How do I change the narrative?

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Day 5: My Parents

Furst of all, I love them both and I'm extremely grateful they're my parents.

My father, he used to have anger issues and didn't show much affection to me and my siblings as children. He's gotten better, I think he has progressed a lot and I'm happy for him. He is a hardworker and would give everything for his family.

My mom, she's everything to me, although sometimes her efforts for trying to put me away from bad friendships and bad decisions have teally hurt me and my confidence, I know she does it all from love. She's patient, lovely and thoughtful.

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Day 4: places I want to visit

- a place where I can see the stars.

- a place where I can see everything that is different from here.

- aureola

- a place where it snows

- a place where I can dind myself in peace

- as many beaches as I can

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depression is hopelessness

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I now release ALL blocks that stand between me and my desire. NOTHING will stop me from getting what I want, because it is already mine. I am NOT a slave to my circumstances, for I AM the creator of my reality.

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¿Qué estás defendiendo?

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Day 3: a memory

A memory... let's try to think about a good one...

Well, all of a sudden the thought that came to my mind was the last time I saw my grandma, why? Because she was ill, she had Parkinson and alzheimer, she barely identified the people around her. I didn't think she would remember who I was maybe she didn't, but the day I went to visit her she looked at me and smiled, that to me was the greatest thing ever, she saw me and recognized me? She probably thought I was someone else, but still that doesn't matter to me, I felt seen, i felt we had a bond and I appreciate that memory till today.

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Day 2: things that make me happy

It is easier for me to find out the things that I hate than the things that make me happy...

But trying to figure that out, I think about my mom, seeing her happy, having her company; my family in general (not all of them tho); going outside makes me happy; going out and talking with people I consider friends.

Little random things that make me happy:

- being right

- going to the beach

- talking about me (although I don't usually do it)

- when people really listen

- when people really see me

- drawing

- singing

- dancing

- learning new stuff

- doing things with my hands

- looking up on the sky

- the excitement of traveling

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Day 1: Describe your personality

Well, its a little complicated. I think it's difficult to describe. From someone else's point of view, I am a little weird, I'm really silent, observant. I think from my own perspective, I'd say I'm ambivert (if that exists)it means that sometimes I can be really calm and shy but other times I can be the opposite, a Lil bit loud, funny, playful...

I can say I take things really seriously and that brings me some trouble at times.

I try to be sincere, honest with others and with myself. I can be cruel and realistic. People either love me or hate me. They don't think I'm talking serious sometimes.

I have a strong character that very few can handle, even I have trouble with it.

In summary, I think I can be hard to describe and hard to interact with, but one thing I know is that I'm a genuine person, I'm gonna speak with the truth, I'm gonna try to act real most of the fine, whether people love it or hate it, it's out of my hands. I can just continue to be myself and keep working to be better.

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Sometimes my soul feels like crying

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Just wanna disappear

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I knew something was off... This other guy treated me like he wanted me, we spent some cute times, however it meant absolutely nothing. He left a month ago to a mandatory trip, he told me it was just one month we would be apart, but then, after some weeks, he just happened to realize he wasn't over his ex yet... So, what was I to him? Was it nothing? That's what I fing shitty. And the reason why I can't forgive him, I'm not a fucking toy, I'm vulnerable and emotional but apparently no one cares. Well, he just left me and I expected it, I kinda knew he wasn't interested, but it's still really depressing to me cos I feel like then I'm not enough???

I'm trying to get over this. I AM better than this and I DESERVE way more, I deserve everything I wish for, it was just not him. HE LOST.

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It's surprising how am I still surprised by not being wanted.