serial-dater

[serial-dater]

Makeouts and Murder Mysteries

Before Jake from State Farm happened, I had originally had plans with Jeff (with a J, not a G - important detail later) that I canceled and we rescheduled to this past Friday night. We were meeting fairly early after work for happy hour because he was supposed to drive to Chattanooga afterward for a 5k the next morning, and I was all for it if it meant I got to go home, put on my pajamas, and still have a Friday night to waste on Grey’s Anatomy reruns. 

Then the night was all, LOL JK!

At the time, it had been raining for what felt like a month straight, and remained relentless Friday night. We had a few drinks, and then he got notified the race was being postponed, and then eventually canceled. Around the same time, I received a text from a military friend of mine asking what I was doing and if I wanted to go to Broadway that night. 

1) Military friend lives out of state and I rarely get to see him

2) I do not go to Broadway last minute for anyone, except for friends who live out of state that I rarely get to see

Fast forward a few hours later, I traded my pajamas for an unforgiving, much too-tight bodysuit and me and my girls powered on to Broadway. I managed to persuade Jeff with a J to join us, somehow. Broadway typically ends up being a blur for me because the way I tolerate it is usually by drinking too much, but I behaved for the most part. Our friend brought about 15 of his army bros, I had my new guy in tow, somehow we ended up at the bar my ex-boyfriend’s band was playing at (it’s fine, we’re cool), and we stayed out until FOUR AY EM. 4am. I was so rudely reminded that I was not 21 anymore the next day, but I digress. 

I liked Jeff with a J, a lot. Easy conversation, lots of things in common, and he has the best smile. And I’m not sure if it was alcohol-induced or not but there was a lot of making out at the bar. And the reason I know I wasn’t completely inebriated was because I was actually getting a little uncomfortable with the PDA, which I usually don’t give a flying flip about once I’ve drank enough. *Facepalm.* I definitely will be seeing him again. 

***This is the first dude my friends have casually met, and one of the girls stipulations was that he was cool if his name began with a J, but if it started with a G, he needed to GTFO. LOL 

The next day left me less than perky, to say the least. I willed massive amounts of coffee to fix me, and almost made it to a semi-functional state. After making a solid dent in my couch for most of the day, my friends and I had a murder mystery birthday party to get to, though we would have probably traded our collective first borns to bail on it. Not wanting to be the assholes we truly are deep down, we rallied. And after white-knuckling the miserable, stormy drive to the hood, we arrived relatively unscathed. 

And boy, I’m glad we did, because our friend ended up being the murderer, and I hunted down a potential fellow suitor. It’s funny -- I had been seeing this guy who is the brother of a friend of mine pop up on my Facebook under the ‘people you may know’ section and would think, well he’s attractive. And then never think twice about it because he doesn’t live here, probably has a significant other, etc etc. But as soon as I walked into the party, I recognized him, and from there on I suddenly felt an appropriately-timed second wind. 

It is a bit awkward trying to get to know someone when you’re in character, but there was clearly a mutual attraction there. In the middle of the party, the hosts decided to throw in a super random game. We had to partner up, grab a balloon and sandwich it between our stomachs, and without touching the balloon, somehow get it up to our mouths. Out of boldness and exhaustion, when he yelled ‘who wants to be my partner?” I said “I will, for a hundred bucks” (you get $500 fake dollars to pay for bribes during the murder mystery) and his response without hesitation was “SOLD!” So basically, we got real intimate with a balloon and I got a hundred bucks. I wasn’t mad.

We did the weird follow each other around thing without making anything seem obvious for the rest of the night. I’m not one to assume anything, as I’ve met plenty of guys who are flirtatious but have no intentions to make a move, so at the end of the night we left and that was that. Shortly after arriving home, I received a friend request on Facebook, and a message that read “Too soon? Lol”

And now here we are, many texts and conversations later.

[serial-dater]

Jake, from State Farm*

It’s funny - when I meet someone I hit it off with really well, they immediately have such high potential in my mind where I almost instantly black out the other guys I’m currently seeing, as if they were invisible and didn’t, at some point, also win my affection. 

Gotta stop doing that shit. 

Anyway, in an attempt to keep this short, I’ll try to give you the Cliffs Notes version of the past week. Buckle up.

Last weekend, I was happily swiping away from my couch on a date-free, lazy Saturday night. The next morning I awoke to a messing from a guy, responding to my typical yet stale “Hey, how is your weekend going?” bumble message. After a few back and forth exchanges, he admitted that he might have been drunk swiping the night before and didn’t actually live in Nashville, but just visiting from Austin, TX with his family. With the obnoxious number of Bachelor parties that invade my city, this happens probably 50% of the time and I typically don’t respond, but for some reason I did. And we talked without hesitation for the next 48 hours, joking about our dating struggles, each other’s respective cities, and debating the best taco spots in Austin. Because all good things come to an end (or do they?), he was set to fly back to Austin on Tuesday morning, and we commiserated together about how bummed we were that we didn’t get to meet. 

Until I got a message that asked “would I be completely crazy to see what it would cost to change my flight until tomorrow?” And I said “yes, it would, but I wouldn’t be mad about it.” And before you know it, I was taking a sick day on Wednesday and a stranger was Uber-ing to my apartment at 11am. People totally never get murdered this way, nope. 

The weird part about this whole situation is that it wasn’t weird. At all. And I’m not a chill person when I first meet people, at least not when I’m sober, so that’s saying something. But our conversation was so great leading up to meeting that I felt really comfortable, despite the fact that inviting a stranger over to MY APARTMENT is insanely out of character for me. 

Anyway, my first impression was about what I expected it to be. He’s extremely tall, attractive but not I-wanna-jump-your-bones attractive, and seemed just as guarded as I was. We chatted for a couple of hours and then decided to venture downtown for a drink, because drinking whiskey at 1pm is totally the normal thing to do. We stayed out until around 6, visiting various places around the city that he hadn’t seen yet. It felt good and natural and comfortable. 

Comfortable is a dangerous word for me. I need equal parts comfort, but also spark. It’s that little bit of edginess that keeps me on my toes, on the edge of my seat. Desire, if you will. And as shallow as this might make me seem, I was so attracted to his personality, that I think it overshadowed the lack of complete physical attraction for me. He’s definitely good looking, but physical attraction is so important in relationships, and not something I overlook.

We went back to my place, he suffered through the Preds game for me, and we cuddled on the couch. And it was so nice and still not weird. We had a rude 4am wake up call to get him to the airport, though. Despite that, we had a great ~20 hours together, and have a pretty good story to tell if this works out. 

I never entertained the idea of a long distance relationship, but he opened up my eyes to the possibilities. I have the ideal job for it, plenty of flexibility, and a love for travel. However, I’m skeptical about how I feel, for now at least. We still talk everyday and have Skype dates (vommmm, I hate Skype) but I want to take it slow, yet not count it out completely. So we’ll see.

*because I’m a 12 year old, every time I hear the name Jake, my mind immediately goes to that damn “Jake, from State Farm? Commercial. You’re welcome. His name actually is Jake, though.

[serial-dater]

A Blur of A Weekend

It was almost like I blacked out from Friday all the way up to this morning, but I also have a terrible memory except for my talent of recollecting every tiny, insignificant detail of anything ever, but I digress. I only went on one date this weekend. Serial dater is slacking. 

Blue Eyes and I bonded over the fact that Thai food is by far the superior cuisine, so we chose dinner at a local, authentic spot that neither of us had previously dined at. It was, unfortunately, underwhelming, but the company made up for it. I still can’t quite figure out what it is about Blue Eyes. He further revealed facts about his quite disheveled family and it slowly helped me piece things together, but he’s the type of person that seems to divulge just enough information to pique your interest, without going overboard in details. It’s like slowly unwrapping a present, metaphorically. He is bold and not afraid to ask questions, which I find attractive, though my walls rise fairly quickly to protect my own vulnerability. I feel safe with him, however. 

After dinner, we went to see a movie, specifically How to Train Your Dragon, and I was delighted to go on an old school ‘dinner and a movie date.’ His giggles throughout the film had me smiling in response, and although he talked too much during the movie, it wasn’t annoying. Another successful date, except for the fact that he is clearly interested but has shown zero affection. Which is fine, and I appreciate men that take things slow, but I also wanted to kiss his face. In due time, I suppose.

While I am clearly on a mission to find my person, I am still an introverted soul and needed a weekend to just chill, mixed with other prior obligations I already had scheduled with friends. So I postponed a date with Benjamin Button, and made up excuses to why I couldn’t meet up with a few other eligibles. 

On deck this week is that date with BB on Thursday, and a date with a new fella on Friday. Oh! I forgot - I did go on a date with Seeing Double last Monday to the hockey game. Yikes, clearly it was memorable, right? He’s one of those that I enjoy spending time with, but in a completely platonic way. His eagerness is off-putting, and I feel bad that the attraction isn’t there for me. Maybe he would be willing to be friends? I think I’m going to have to break the news to him soon that I’m not interested. I don’t like this part of dating. 

If you were curious, Finance Guy remains elusive. 

Stay tuned for another fun story that deserves its own post.

[serial-dater]

A Marathon turned Sprint

I survived the weekend of dates, and I was rather pleasantly surprised by my potential suitors. Perhaps I’m being more picky in my old(er) age and less willing to take a chance on someone without my big 3 (real job, ambition in life, physical attraction) but I have yet to have a nightmarish date; just mediocre ones. 

Unfortunately, Mother Nature decided to drop kick a nasty storm upon Nashville  on Saturday night, and while I was excited to meet Finance Guy, my jeep is not a boat and I did not intend to show up looking like a soggy waffle to a long-awaited first date, so we postponed. It’s been ~8 months, what’s another week? The saga continues...

Blue Eyes: Nicknamed for the obvious aforementioned dreamy blue eyes he was sporting, I was surprised by this guy. I typically like to text a guy for a week or so before agreeing to meet up with them just to get a general vibe, but our texting game was lacking substance and leaving me with a ‘meh’ feeling. I had already canceled our Friday lunch date, so we rescheduled to a Sunday dinner. I do not fear eating in front of people, but eating on a first date isn’t my most favorite thing. However, it became pretty apparent by the end of the date that this guy might not drink, for various reasons which we discussed earlier in the evening. Cool with me, it wouldn’t kill me to date someone who in turn might benefit my waistline a little more with substantially fewer nights full of empty calories that end with me cuddling a pizza at 2am. I liked him, in a mysterious, ‘I want to know more about you’ kind of way. He seemed like he moved at a little slower speed in life, as if he has seen it all before and and just wasn’t in a rush. Something I could also use in my “GOGOGO” daily life. After several hours of romantically charged camaraderie, we discussed a second date, and I’m a little giddy about it.

Breadcrumbs: You know when you make a trip to Target for two things and then you black out a little and before you know it, you have a cart full of nonsense and you’re $100 poorer? Breadcrumbs is like my blackout. We went on a date a couple of months ago, had a great, fun night, and then went our separate ways. Like 90% of the men I go on a date with, we no longer talk but still do the whole Instagram-stalking thing (which is its own kind of weird) and I commented on a story he posted. Instagram stories are like the breadcrumbs you leave behind for other people to find, and then you’re instantly reminded of that person. He responded and before I knew it, I was walking down the street at 10pm on a Sunday night to meet him for a drink. Conversation was slightly boring but we were both exhausted at that point, but we discussed work and what we had been up to since we saw each other last, and how he’s not-not looking for a relationship. In any case, the dude is a good time, but I’m not sure about long-term potential. I think I’ll just keep leaving Breadcrumbs, breadcrumbs.

[serial-dater]

A Weekend Marathon of Dates

Because I hate myself, I often without inhibition will get a little swipe happy until I have more matches than I can keep up with, and set up more dates than my introverted self can handle. This marathon was a response to getting ghosted by the guy I was growing attached to, so naturally my mind sprints towards ‘must immediately get revenge by dating MOAR!’ 

It doesn’t really work that way, and while I’m sure I’m slowly poisoning my liver with the amount of drinks I’ve consumed in the past few days, at least they were free and I’ve had a good time. Let’s recap the last couple of dates, shall we?

Benjamin Button: Met up for drinks on a Thursday night for 2-4-1′s at my favorite local bar. I was dreading it for dumb reasons like the fact that it’s monsoon season in Nashville and he couldn’t meet until 830pm which is practically my bedtime, but I put on my big girl pants and made it out. I’m glad I did, because he was intriguing. I refer to him as Benjamin Button (thank you for the ironically accurate descriptive name, Katie) because while he is two years younger than me, he looks about 10 years older than me. But in that rustic, hot-dad kind of way. I wasn’t mad about it, and he was deliciously as handsome in person. He asked me a lot of questions about myself and my job until I was likely visibly uncomfortable, as if I were at a job interview. But I managed to loosen up more until the conversation was flowing more effortlessly. He had a great way of talking about himself without sounding narcissistic, and honestly that is an art I want to possess. He is a homeowner and a PhD student, and the impression I got was that he was probably fairly affluent and perhaps slightly elitist, but not enough to turn me off -- yet. Not the typical type of guy I date, but I’m willing to see where it goes.

Seeing Double: Met up last night at my favorite speakeasy bar. This guy was your good, old-fashioned nice guy. Extremely affable and easy going, cute but not dreamy, polite and a gentleman. He has an identical twin, works in Human Resources, and among his favorite hobbies are crafting homemade cocktails and drinking. He is a rare Nashville native like me, so we bonded over that fact and talked about various different interests. I was attracted to him, but it almost felt like I was hanging out with a long-lost friend until he grabbed my hand midway through the night and refused to let go. Cute, but felt slightly high-school. Whatever. We moved on to the neighboring wine bar and enjoyed a few more drinks before calling it a night. He walked me to my car, and then I drove him to his since it was pouring rain outside. He immediately turned to kiss me, and we proceeded to make out like teenagers for the next 20 minutes. My face was getting a free deep-exfoliation from his beard, but I was too distracted by the perfect scent of his cologne to care. Perhaps there is more to him to his ‘good boy’ exterior, or at least I hope so, because he has my attention. I always appreciate when men want to make plans for the next date before the first one ends, as it gives you a good indication of where you stand. He did, so we’ll see where this one goes. 

Next up: Finance Guy I’ve been in a text-lationship with for the past 8 months, if he doesn’t cancel. This one is sure to be good.

[serial-dater]

Honorable Mentions

To the fellas who just can’t leave, even if we’ve never met.

Finance Guy: We matched last summer, nearly 8 months ago, still haven’t met, and yet I’m still intrigued by you. We joke about how we will make fun of each other for waiting so long once we finally do meet up and will probably end up in a long-term relationship. I think we’re both just lazy, but feel it could be promising when we finally do meet up. Perhaps this weekend, even.

Drunk Guy: No amount of embarrassing drunk snapchats, instagram stories, and text messages are too shameful to keep you away (from him, not me), and I applaud you for that. We actually did meet up once, but you didn’t act that interested, so I figured you weren’t. In hindsight, I think you were nervous, because you later, while under the influence, texted ‘baby, come over.’ 100% will not answer drunk persuasions, but keep trying, because you’re fun and good looking.

[serial-dater]

January Recap

Nice Guy: Nice guy was promising from the start, but the beer might have clouded my judgment, as alcohol tends to make us all a little more fun. Perhaps I was attracted to the lack of red flags, but in the end he was just...too boring. Next. 

Fun Guy: Oh, fun guy. High potential to have a good time, low potential for anything long-term. Not the most physically attractive, but I’m drawn to a solid, quirky sense of humor. He was 100% himself, and that was incredibly dreamy. Fun guy works a lot and has a busy social life, but so do I. Still in contact, but not actively pursuing. Perhaps a future fun night is in the cards.

Coffee Guy: I typically only do drink dates, for reasons including but not limited to, the effects of alcohol + ability to escape quickly if the date is going south + surrounding by many other people in public. However, this is the first gentleman that suggested a coffee date, for which I was 100% down, despite the fact that coffee drunk is not nearly as attractive as alcohol drunk. Immediately warm and attractive, I was initially drawn to him. What I was not drawn to was the fact that I knew his entire life story within the hour. It’s not that he didn’t ask me questions about myself, he just had so much to say. SO MUCH. About all the things. My introverted little brain was screaming ‘PLZ MAKE IT STOP.’ Curious enough to go on a second date, we played trivia, and it was worthwhile. Plus one for a good kiss and being a clear gentleman. Ended it because I’d probably rather take a butcher knife to the jugular than hear more stories about his best friend’s puppies aunt’s weird foot fetish.

Hot Guy: Drool. Just, drool. Plays hockey, has a decent job, and has an adorable dog. I wanted to climb him like a tree, and I did. Not the best communicator, but very routine-oriented and disciplined which I respected. Almost a month of weekends hanging out, and ended up getting the slow-fade of doom. Not sure why, other than I told him how I felt, and that I was looking for a relationship. Clearly not his cup of tea. I will miss you, hot guy. I hope you grow a pair one day.