serial-experiements-bane

[serial-experiements-bane]

So it's been 84 years since I've been on this blog (again) but a quick update for those of y'all wondering if I'm okay: I just got top surgery! Like last wednesday! I'm so immensely happy right now, I can't even really begin to describe how I feel with words right now. So much has been leading me up to this point and to actually have it happen has sent me over the moon. With that said, I haven't exactly like.... Recovered? But I need to make sure I'm eating so that I can heal up and unfortunately that means I need to avoid triggering my ed symptoms as little as humanly possible.

I know I'll be back.... I'll always be back. My eating disorder isn't going to magically disappear because I'm in a happier place now; it's always going to be the growling shadow that haunts me when I least expect it, but until that day comes you guys will probably see me significantly less. I'll still think of y'all, though, and I hope you guys can find little reasons to beat your own personal shadows off (either with sticks or beat off their dicks idk how you roll)

[serial-experiements-bane]

I know it's been 84 years since I've been on this blog but I've honestly just been chilling on my NSFT blog @cenobitefurby, if y'all wanna follow me there. There's Some depraved shit but like the actual fucked up thoughts and feelings are probably gonna be staying here. I guess the reason I haven't been on here in a while is mostly cause 1) i've been super busy, and 2) i've actually been kind of happier? I'm still getting fucked by my ED but it's not quite as hard as usual. Like, I have partners now?? I don't remember if we talked about it here yet but they're amazing people so I've been really distracted from my ED cause like...... Uh... Having someone who's hot and also nonbinary calling me a good boy while rearranging my guts is going to make it difficult for me to think I'm inherently ugly and unlovable y'know??

[serial-experiements-bane]

[serial-experiements-bane]

I hit 172.4 lbs earlier on yesterday morning. Maybe I actually will be in the 160's in February

[serial-experiements-bane]

You wanna see me listen to that album? Wanna see me listen to it again?

[serial-experiements-bane]

That surreal PS1 era of 3D graphics is ideal for the occult. So much of occult art is attempting to explore the ineffable, to depict something beyond words. That era of 3D art was dominated by the rapid onset of powerful new technologies. It was an artistic peek through a keyhole into a grand imagined future. Magic and vaporware go hand in hand.

[serial-experiements-bane]

I love a band that has lore Like not band drama between like other bands or something but like there's a story that goes with their music. Starset is just a full on music demonstration that's a space opera. Sleep Token's lore is that the band members met a deity in a dream that manifested as Vessel, their lead vocalist. I know under the mask Vessel is probably just some dude but I never want to know who the dude is cause this feels magical. Meanwhile you have bands like Lorna Shore that don't have a specific lore but each album has a story to tell and you can just sit there and think about it for hours and hours on end. I can really just sit here and talk about bands I like and just like tell the stories they give me. Or like come up with a story on the fly to an album. I wish I could just beam my daydreams out onto a projector while the music video my brain creates plays cause there's so much footage in here

[serial-experiements-bane]

L E T S  A L L  L O V E  L A I N

[serial-experiements-bane]

[serial-experiements-bane]

your class based off of what tool you use to open a package

kitchen knife - cleric

cool knife from amazon - warlock

scissors held open to use one blade - wizard

hands - barbarian

key - sorcerer

cool knife from crafts fair - rogue

pen - paladin

swiss army knife (only uses normal blade) - monk

teeth - druid

box cutter - ranger

another person - bard

[serial-experiements-bane]

Can you GAYS stop posting drag race spoilers

[serial-experiements-bane]

[serial-experiements-bane]

are you ever like. i’m not the right Me right now to hang out with people. wait until the better guy shows up lol this one kind of sucks 

[serial-experiements-bane]

Ever since i stopped taking my meds I don't feel quite as numb anymore and I don't know if it's a good or a bad thing I don't know when the mood swings are going to start up again. I don't know when the depression is going to start hitting again. I feel something more than nothing for the first time in a long fucking time and I think it's happiness but I'm waiting for that other shoe to drop eventually. It's at least easier to deal with than wondering why I feel nothing but boredom and apathy. Maybe the meds just have a long half life and I'm just feeling the effects of them still. I don't think I'm going to go back, though.

Watch me regret saying this in about 3-6 months

[serial-experiements-bane]

reblog to take a bite out of this styrofoam cup nobody can stop you go ahead and do it

[serial-experiements-bane]

life’s hard when you’re horny 24/7

[serial-experiements-bane]

Food is so fucking good and it kills me every time I walk past a restaurant with smells cause they smell that much better when im fasting

They have no idea

Funny how people think that people with eds hate food.. if only they knew