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i used to be a green onion

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I love what #mytwig has done for the local lexicon these days. It has the exact same energy as Marge with her loom

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go back to sleep puppy *holds chlorophyll over your face*

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did some math based on adventurer's bible stuff about average sizes of tallmen & half-foots & the canon heights of the characters and. chilchuck is the half-foot equivalent of 6'5

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the weirdly vengeful and petty tones aborted babies take in pro-life propaganda images are so funny like this passive aggressive "was it worth it mommy?" and "it's a shame you can't join me in heaven mommy 😔" like do you ever wonder if you were aborted for a reason you little bitch ass baby

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I support recreational and erotic testosterone use

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don't fuck with fairies they know aneurysm magic (flying up your nose with a very tiny hammer)

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pro tip: if you're gonna record a porn video, please remove any and all mariah carey cardboard cutouts from the picture frame.

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english people need to remember before getting smarmy that while irish people and scots are happy to temporarily join forces to make fun of yanks, at the end of the day enemy #1 is still the english

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The Wiganposting will continue until morale is as good as gravy

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is anybody gonna pet the gentle freak…….the gentle freak is gonna grow sad and anxious if nobody pets it……is nobody gonna pet the freak……nobody?…..nobody pet the gentle freak?…..

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the "actually an hour in the UK is a very very long way to go" retort as a response to yanks going "well i can drive six hours and still be in West Eggington (go Devil Eggs!)" has twisted itself into a simulacrum of the same circlejerk it's fighting and there are now a concerning amount of (usually english) people who seem to genuinely be arguing that it's unthinkable in the uk to imagine ever leaving your hometown

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well actually i live in scotland and this is still funny

easily the funniest part of the wigan kebab video is that the guy who's walking in like he's just stepped into an alien planet is from liverpool and lives, at maximum, an hour's drive away

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In capitalist realist wigan it's easier to imagine the end of wigan than is to imagine gravy