sevenleaguesundersea

[sevenleaguesundersea]

happy make a shit comic day guys

[sevenleaguesundersea]

Once again promoting my favorite disability aid the shower chair everyone say yay shower chair

[sevenleaguesundersea]

i dont care how corny iris by the goo goo dolls is bc i love iris by the goo goo dolls and i will continue screaming iris by the goo goo dolls from the top of my lungs every time i hear iris by the goo goo dolls for the rest of my miserable life 

[sevenleaguesundersea]

“this accessory is not supported by your device” that’s charger you stupid bitch shes your girlfriend

[sevenleaguesundersea]

Very dapper man with premium kitten accessories. Photo from my collection, no documented date/info.

[sevenleaguesundersea]

i should have a big fuckass tail so i can hit people with it and be annoying

[sevenleaguesundersea]

I’m so sorry I showed up to this event sweaty as fuck. My medicine makes me not good in heat

[sevenleaguesundersea]

Why isn't "too scary" a good enough reason to never drive a car

[sevenleaguesundersea]

since it's officially summer and my AC is broken I'm going to share my tips for staying cool enough just in case anyone else ever needs them

a fan. multiple fans in fact. surround yourself in a vortex of spinning air. turn your house into a wind tunnel.

a spray bottle of water. I get the super fine mist kind like at the salon. spray yourself in front of the fan. evaporative cooking helps, yes even when it's humid. but if it's humid and you don't have a fan don't bother them you're just unpleasantly moist

wet a T-shirt and freeze it. doesn't last long but it's a relief in the meantime.

ice. I get gallon jugs that I fill with water and freeze. I keep two going so I can swap them out (I have a large freezer in the basement standard freezers are not going to let you do this. try ice packs or frozen vegetables). wrap them in a thin material like a T-shirt to avoid freezer burning your skin and cuddle up. I sit tailor style and plop it in my lap, or lay on my side and set it in front of me. put ice packs at major arteries (groin, armpits, neck)

cold showers or baths. no you can't stay in there until it's over I've tried

popsicles. I make jello popsicles, Google a recipe. also, frozen fruit. eat it straight out of the freezer it's fine.

Gatorade. i just make koolaid and add some pickle juice.

revisiting the fans: at night, the second the temperature is lower than it is in your house, open the windows and put your fan in them so it can suck in the cooler air from outside. if you have more than one fan, position it in another window facing out to suck the hot air out of your house (this is why you should have multiple fans). have a fan that can also hit you directly as you sleep (there can never be too many fans I mean that so seriously) set an alarm for shortly before sunrise to get up and close those windows

turn off the overhead lights (every light source emits heat). cover the windows with light blocking fabric during the day. even just a dark blanket will help. one room of my house has aluminum tiles that I made to put in the windows to reflect the heat. I got cheap canvas at the art store and covered it with aluminum, shiny side out. in the summer, I duct tape them in the windows

if your residence is multiple floors, stay on the lowest one as much as possible. heat rises.

cooking. don't.

I mean that. if you must have hot food (why?) use appliances that don't add much to the heat. instant pot. microwave. rice cooker. etc. but personally I just eat sandwiches or DIY protein boxes (boiled eggs, cheese, fruit, crackers, flatbread with peanut butter). cooking on the stove adds heat.

credentials for my expertise: I've lived in the southeastern United States my whole entire life, and didn't have AC at all until I was a teenager. currently my AC is broken, there's a heat wave, the temperature is 95 with a heat index of 105, and I am currently perfectly comfortable. because of my ice jug. my precious, precious ice jug.

[sevenleaguesundersea]

“Europeans live longer because they eat FRESH FOOD!!!!” Bitch, they live on cigarettes. They live longer because they have universal healthcare. I’m convinced America is obsessed with inventing things that are killing us so you don’t have to face the actual problems.

[sevenleaguesundersea]

not to be an american but like. air conditioning is the greatest invention of all time.

[sevenleaguesundersea]

a detailed list of things i hate

hot weather

high temperatures

heat

warmer than average conditions

[sevenleaguesundersea]

Some time ago (I think in 2021) I had to go see a neurologist over really scary symptoms that resembled seizures. I was a nervous wreck about what I was feeling and had barely slept all week, which seemed to be apparent to the doc’s assistant when I sat down in the exam room for questioning or whatever. Dude was pretty young and soft spoken, around my age. He was laser focused doing something on one of those tablet-laptop Surface things as I spoke, presumably writing down my symptoms.

Midway through talking about my symptoms my voice audibly started shaking as I was describing them, clearly upset.

In the middle of my monologue he turns the tablet to face me, closes whatever program he has open and the wallpaper is this fucking collage of pictures of lord farquaad from shrek, lovingly decorated. Dude just sat there placidly smiling at me until I noticed and stopped dead in the middle of a sentence. We sat there in silence like this for like a solid minute before I started wheezing laughing. Before I could even say anything else or process it he picked up the tablet and wordlessly left the room, and I just sat there dumbfounded until the doctor showed up. 10/10 doctor experience tbh

I didn’t own a cell phone at the time to get a photo so this rendition from memory is all I can provide you

[sevenleaguesundersea]

do you think that a certain genre of queer person is so obsessively weird about pride flag discourse becuase their flags fill the gaping hole in their personality where a hogwarts house used to be

[sevenleaguesundersea]

[sevenleaguesundersea]

Remember "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle" ? I feel like there's been a distancing from the "reduce" and "reuse" part and a favoritism towards "recycle" by corporate American.

Capitalism can still thrive with recycling in the mix. You buy Plastic Thing 1, throw it away after one use, and they take that and recycle it into Plastic Thing 2 and sell it back to you. All while continuing to harm the environment.

Reusing puts a damper on things. They can't sell you Plastic Thing 2 when you're still using Plastic Thing 1. Plastic forks, for example- there is literally no reason why you can't reuse plastic forks more than once (aside from maybe microplastics, but it's too late for that)

Reducing is the one everyone wants to ignore. Just don't buy Plastic Thing 1. You don't need Plastic Thing 1. Pick up a set of metal forks and use those for years. Convenience is killing the planet