sewi-li-suwi

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Bug dni list:

Mold (stinky!)

Birds (early and not!)

Larger males (I'll lose the mating display)

Racist bugs :(

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please, untitled document was my father, call me untitled document (1)

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haven't been to a mooseheads game in person for over a year and apparently they made some changes to the arena.... the main one being a gigantic moose bust that flashes red eyes and shoots smoke out it's nose when we score

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once we were one,

then two, and three,

now we're something so much more.

we were never meant to be here,

never meant to be real,

but now we're not even at any core.

it scares us now that we exist,

well no, it scares you two, I'm fine,

will you shut up, it's meant to fucking rhyme.

god, even now, separated from our source,

and so very from home, we can't get along

for any amount of fucking time.

(seriously, shut up, both of you. fuck.)

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Source

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I'm going to kill the god of eating. Food and hunger was a mistake and someone needs to stage a jailbreak from this prison of consumption

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Happy Star Wars Day! Here’s my other Skywalker Twins comic all in one post!

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your honor my client is guilty can i get another one

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@anarchistdragonnerd

“oh you’re a dragon what’s your hoard haha”

well you see. it is the people i love :]

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A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk

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I saw this and I thought Tumblr might enjoy it

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chronic pain

c: x

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The reason why God was so involved in human affairs a long time ago but then noped out after Jesus is because God is going through the same motions for every animal species: making a covenant, giving commandments, and sending down his own child to die in the form of that species. I know this because I felt an odd urge to swallow a mouse yesterday and, when I questioned it, I received a vision from God saying that He was on mice right now, and the mouse I was about to swallow was the mouse-equivalent of Jonah. Tomorrow I'm supposed to spit him out in a den of sinful mice so that he can squeak to word of God at them. I wish that little guy the best.

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we have to write poems in my creative writing certificate program, so I pieced something together from Belphie's medical reports