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You think a fresh new start would put the anxiety at bay for a while but, truth is, it never goes away...not completely. I'm not crying or a social mess but the insomnia has returned, the constant worries and questioning voice in my head. I'm tired. I had 4 hours sleep last night then worked 13 hours came home and now 17 hours after I woke up I can't sleep again and I have to be up in 6 hours again. I'm ok, I'm functioning in day to life but my head won't stop. How long until everything falls apart again? Do my new colleagues really like me? Am I doing a good job? Does my new boss actually like me? The more I question it, the more I worry. It's a constant cycle and my rational side is saying 'what are you doing? Chill the fuck out' but my anxiety is screaming 'OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO FAIL AT EVERYTHING!' I just want to sleep. I want to turn my brain off and sleep now but I can't...

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New places, new faces #explore #tapas #friends #notsoanxiousnow #recovery

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Peace, love and harmony

I was getting too negative and I was unhappy so I took a break from social media and spent time with my friends and family. I turned off all notifications and, after several weeks of silence, I'm pleased to report that I'm happy. In that time, my wonderful boyfriend and I celebrated 3 years of togetherness, I have come off all my medication, got a new job and started a new chapter. I've filled my time with seeing friends and family and been on 2 holidays abroad. I'm not naive enough to think that my anxiety is gone or that it won't get bad again but I'm managing it and managing it well. Tumblr can be a very therapeutic way of off loading but, sometimes, it can be a dangerous place of negativity. My absence from it has been wonderful for me and, I've found me again...the real me, not just my online existence. Don't forgot the real world, it's a beautiful place. #anxiety #recovery #happy #content

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Work life

I've been back at work for 4 days and I've already got a stress headache and feelings of panic. My boss is just awful. The way she treats people is diabolical and she keeps getting away with it. I keep believing that karma will get her but I really hope it comes soon so I can see it's full effect. I'm sat at my desk in my room with the door closed and just pray that I don't have to see her today. I shouldn't have to lock myself away at work...its the longest 8 hours of my life and I just want to be gone.

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It's not a good day...

Some days I question whether I make too much of a big deal of my anxiety but other days, like today, I think maybe I don't make it a big enough deal. I've had a tough day. Tomorrow is really important for me, it's a chance for a fresh start but I have to overcome some steps. If I do tomorrow correctly then I'll get the fresh start I've been craving for for so long, if I mess it up (which I'm prone to doing) then I'm stuck in the same cycle. I felt attacked today by my own mind and others. I've had challenges today and, yes, in some ways I can say I overcame them but it's left me feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted. I need to be in a good state of mind for tomorrow and I'm not sure I will be. It's like when I'm having a down day everything and everyone decides to make it that little bit worse...maybe because I'm down I see it that way. It's hard to pick myself up but, I'm going to try and sleep and hopefully, tomorrow my dreams might come true. Wish me luck...I think I'll need it. #anxiety #depressed #recovery #down #sleep #help

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Critical

The UK terror threat has been raised to critical. This means that another terror attack is imminent and the police have requested support from the army. It's a scary world. Growing up I could play in the streets, walk to the local village shop, talk to people I didn't know and I never really question my safety. Tonight, as I made a cup of tea and heard the Prime Ministers announcement about the terror threat I felt unnerved. I have to go to the shopping centre tomorrow...will I be safe? Should I leave the house? I hate what our world is becoming. History tells us that there has never been world peace. Wars have always been fought whether civil, religious, political or other, but why? What is the point? What do they achieve? Why can't we, as a society, embrace people's differences and live as one regardless of race, religion, social status or other reasons. Tonight, as I wait for my dreams to begin these thoughts are tumbling around. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of people and what we do to each other. I don't understand it. I don't like things that I don't understand...one of the many reasons I have anxiety. I don't understand. #anxiety #support #depression #recovery #support #war #peace

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FACT # 230

The human brain remembers more negative memories than positive ones. This is due to the negativity bias the brain sets up as a defense mechanism.

Read More Interesting Facts Here

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At any given moment, you have the option to contribute to the world positively or negatively. Be mindful of this.

Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin (via thepowerwithin)

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Reality

Once again I find myself watching news of a suspected terrorist attack. This time in Manchester, a city I visit regularly and a city in which I welcomed in the new year. This wonderful city is vibrant and friendly and this is shown by the amount of people in the area offering rooms to people involved. Once again, I find myself being thankful that my family and friends are safe. I may have anxiety. I may have depression. But, I have my life and I am loved by people. I cannot imagine what those poor people involved are going through right now. It's times like these when I realise my complaints, although meaningful to me, could be so much worse. Today, I am thankful for my life. I am thankful for the people who love me. I am thankful for the wonderful job the emergency services do here in the UK. I am thankful. My prayers are with all of those affected. Words can't describe the sorrow I feel for you. #manchester #thankful #pray

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Right at this moment, pause. Breathe. You are still alive. You are still breathing. Tomorrow the sun will still rise, and this beautiful thing called life will continue.

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Anyone who has actually been that sad can tell you that there’s nothing beautiful or literary or mysterious about depression.

Jasmine Warga, My Heart and Other Black Holes (via wordsnquotes)

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Busy hands, calm mind

Sunday's are always full of dread as Monday follows. Monday means work, facing people, smiling on the outside whilst screaming on the inside. I'm signed off work currently but am due back on Friday... Even though that's 4 days away I'm dreading it. I'm worrying. I'm stressing. Today, my boyfriend suggested finding something to do to keep my mind busy. I heading into the garage to where my new, old mountain bike is. I recently got it second hand and, safe to say, it needs a lot of work. I've worked on bikes before but don't really know what I'm doing. So, armed with my boyfriend's tools I began to mess. I intended on just swapping over the handle bars but 3 hours later and I'd managed to do that and fix the breaks, oil the chain, adjust the seating and handlebar positions (tricky when the bike is rusted to pieces and nothing moves) and reposition the gear changer thingy (technical term). Now, for someone who knows bikes they could have probably done that in half an hour but for me it was a massive achievement. It involved a lot of problem solving and thinking. I HATE that I'm always thinking but, in this case, I LOVED it! And the best thing...I didn't think about work at all! #anxiety #depression #recovery #solutions #support

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29 Of The Most Beautiful Lines In Rap Songs I'm a rock kinda girl but some of these lyrics are so uplifting. Check them out. #lyrics #buzzfeed #support #recovery

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By Hannah Hillam

This blog is Dedicated to anyone suffering from Anxiety! Please Follow Us if You Can Relate: ANXIETYPROBLEMS

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Pause for a second and put your hand on your chest. Do you feel that? That’s your heart beat. But it’s not just any heart beat; it’s YOURS. No one else’s. That heart of yours beats for you and you only. And why is that? Because you must love yourself and truly live the purpose you are meant to live.

Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin  (via thepowerwithin)

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Being mindful

I've read a lot about mindfulness and how it can help with a plethora of issues such as anxiety, sleep deprivation, lack of confidence etc. So, I decided to give it a go. I got an app called 'Headspace'. Andy, the voice over, is very good at calming and guiding you through. It starts as a 10 day 'treatment' and I'm now on day 3. Safe to say, I've slept well each time I've used it. Call it the placebo effect or maybe it actually works but either way, it's the first time in months that I've managed to calm my mind down. And breathe. #anxiety #mindfulness #calm #solutions #recovery #support #depression #selfbelief