shadycheesecakellama

[shadycheesecakellama]

Friendly reminder from someone who comes from a country that was under the communist regime and is still struggling after:

Communism is great on paper only. In practice, humans are bastards and, because communism relies on humans, this means that communism becomes a dictatorship real fucking quick.

Communism is not sustainable on a country scale, hell, it's not even sustainable on a city scale.

Imho, only people who have experienced the privileges of a free country (looking at you, westerners) their entire lives can look at communism and go "that's a great fucking idea" while the rest of us remember the horror (real) stories and the general "I must find a way to hide this tiny amount of food from the state or I will starve" atmosphere.

You want communism? No, you want a theory that cannot be successfully applied in real life.

someone on this website can make the mildest anti-work post like "i hate having a job i wish i could stay at home playing games" and the replies will inevitably be like "well if you want a TRUE COMMUNIST UTOPIA you'll need to PULL YOUR WEIGHT you cant be a USELESS LAYABOUT consuming EXPLOITATION you need to put aside your selfishness and ORGANISE with your COMMUNITY" and its like. okay i agree but have you never heard of 'wishes' and 'fantasies' before

[shadycheesecakellama]

glad the sharpest bulbs the u.s has to offer are on the case

[shadycheesecakellama]

thinking about kyle calling you his wife every chance he gets even though you’ve barely been together for a year. and the funny thing about that is how he never says it to your face.

he just goes, “yeah that��s my wife,” when someone catches a glimpse of you on his lockscreen.

and on base kyle has photos of you everywhere in his office. when one of the recruits mentions you, he just sighs lovingly and says, “my beautiful wife.”

when someone tries to flirt with kyle, i imagine he acts like mia goth in that one scene from pearl where she screams, “I’M MARRIED!!”

masterlist

[shadycheesecakellama]

I had a thought

In typical reverse AUs, Angel Dean raises Castiel from perdition

What if instead, Dean is a demon who pulls Castiel out of heaven to help him find his brother

A Demon, defying the king of hell's plan to infiltrate heaven and "corrupt the faithful man", instead kidnaps Castiel, in turn kick starting a war between heaven and hell and the apocalypse

Just a thought

[shadycheesecakellama]

Spaceballs (1987) dir. Mel Brooks

[shadycheesecakellama]

Supernatural is so fucking wild. Charlie can’t flirt with a guy because she’s gay, fair. So the obvious solution is to have Dean flirt with the guy??? Genuinely what the fuck is this show

[shadycheesecakellama]

Imagine you work at some fucking roadside diner in buttfuck nowhere and you have to wait a table with three dudes who aren't from around here and the guy with the long hair immediately pulls out his laptop with what looks like cult shit in the web browser and asks for your worst salad option, and the guy in the trenchcoat sniffs the pepper shaker and declares the molecules to be very sharp and the guy with the greenest eyes you've ever seen calls you sweetheart and then proceeds to engage with intimate eye contact with trenchcoat to a degree that is downright indecent and then orders the heart attack special on your menu and every time you walk past their table they're talking about that gruesome murder that happened in town and the pretty guy is feeding the trenchcoat guy fries while the hair guy talks about desecrating corpses

[shadycheesecakellama]

i don’t know how to explain to you people that no matter what a country’s government is like i do not and will not support the US indiscriminately bombing that country’s civilians and i don’t know why that’s a controversial take tbh

[shadycheesecakellama]

hello beloveds ☺️

[shadycheesecakellama]

A girl straddling you is the hottest thing ever and no one can tell me otherwise

[shadycheesecakellama]

I went to this Northwest Passage museum once where they had the white explorers' journals on one side of the exhibit and the native people's accounts on the other side of the exhibit and the explorer journals were like "our canoe had almost sunk when we encountered some kindly Indians" and the native histories were like "we watched a bunch of strangers come down the river in the shittiest canoe you'd ever seen. Also, they had no rain gear"

[shadycheesecakellama]

Mer!gaz and researcher!reader :> hes a freak yall.

Mer!gaz who's a tiger shark mer, large and territorial. He was hit by a poaching boat, brought to a rehab center, and bonded with some of the permanent residents. As a result, he volunteered to stay and partake in some research in return. Its just a bonus that ur the resident tiger shark expert.

Mer!gaz who gets attached to you quickly, throwing a fit when other researchers try to do your tasks when ur not on site. Outright refuses to let the others touch him, knows better than to bite but he has growled plenty. Ur in charge of taking his measurements and vitals, as well as observing his general social behaviors, and he'll be damned if he lets anyone else do it.

Mer!gaz who suddenly veers from his normal habits, doesn't eat or play with mers or researchers. Hell, he genuinely hissed at the food tossed into his pool by one of your coworkers. His podmates dont seem worried about it though, they just click teasingly at you when you ask whats wrong with him. Unhelpful as always, then.

Mer!gaz who bides his time, waits until its the scheduled day for u to take his measurements like usual, only to reach out with a large hand and yank you into the water. He tries to be gentle about it, holding you softly at the waters surface as you sputter. All the while he's drifting to the little alcove entrance his pool has, ur only given a second of warning before he dips under the water and resurfaces in his cave.

Mer!gaz who's been so patient in trying to court you, but now that his mating season has arrived he just cant wait. You and him flounder for a bit, but its hard to resist saying no to the admittedly hot mer whos claspers look like they would feel delicious in you. When you finally agree, its brutal. Bite marks, claws, and growls. Ur stuffed full of cum, while hes just getting started, mildly wondering how much of this u should write down in ur notes.

(anyways u convince him to grab ur walkie talkie and after much negotiation with ur boss and a very territorial mer refusing to let you go, its reluctantly agreed that you stay for the next week lol)

[shadycheesecakellama]

— requested by manbunjon

[shadycheesecakellama]

The ship dynamic

[shadycheesecakellama]

a necromancer who didn't want to get persucutated without giving up their abilities got an idea after watching their cities paladins so now they are an official paladin of the god of death and now every forbidden magic user is calling themselves paladins and the church is fuming.

[shadycheesecakellama]

having sex with spencer but you're both a little inexperienced and he's big. but neither of you actually realise how big.

you're squirming under him, unbelievably wet from the desperate grinding you'd done on his lap before moving to the bed. he's starry-eyed, looking down at your naked body with his mouth slightly agape.

he's running through every paper, every book and article he's read on penetrative sex. it will hurt a little, but you're wet enough that it should be alright. right?

anyway, you're looking up at him with glassy eyes, and he couldn't hold back even if he tried.

lining himself up with you, he swipes up and down your cunt once, clumsily catching his tip on your entrance.

pushing in slowly, he nearly gets swept up in the feeling, moaning softly.

he doesn't know how to soothe your sharp gasps and whimpers with anything more than bruising kisses, so that's what he does. practically swallowing every sound that spills from your tongue.

parting from you, he sees the way your face screws up in pain when he attempts to push in past the three-quarters mark. he stops instantly, heart breaking when you look up at him with tears in your eyes.

"spencer, what... why'd you stop? please, spence, I need it."

you're whining, voice higher than he's ever heard it. something about the petulant, bratty tone makes him yearn to fulfil your wishes, shove himself further in until you can't tell where you end and he begins, but he knows better.

even if the feeling of you wrapped around the majority of him isn't making his head spin.

"shh, I— I know, sweetheart, but I can't— ah— can't hurt you, we can't do that."

he knows he can't, he knows it, but your face isn't making it any easier for him. neither are your arms, wound tightly around his neck. or your lips, moving intently against the skin of his adam's apple as you plead.

"please, spencer, can't you just do it? I want it so bad, don't you? don't you want me, spencer?"

you're evil. looking up at him with those eyes, with your gummy walls pulsing softly around his cock. you're reduced to a baser version of yourself, appealing to him in every way you know how.

still, he has to stay resolute.

"no, honey. i want you, you know that. but I can't—shit— I'm not going to hurt you. okay? we'll do it like this for now."

he's talking out of his ass, but he's relatively sure this will feel good. he pulls out fully, sure he looks just as lost as you are when the feeling of you is gone.

he's not gone for long though, resting the shaft of his cock over your soaked labia. with one experimental rock against you, you both groan.

you forget about your woes rather quickly, pleasure coursing through your intertwined bodies.

besides, you have more than enough time to work yourself up to taking him fully.

[shadycheesecakellama]

Penelope: Yeah, this shroud is taking me 20 years.

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