shamelesstrixie

[shamelesstrixie]

Of all the pressing issues in America—skyrocketing costs of living, food and housing insecurity, failing healthcare, environmental crises—they decide the creation of a Make America Healthy Again Commission is the priority? And not even in a way that would genuinely help autistic people, but by dredging up the same tired, debunked nonsense that has already wasted decades of research funding.

The gall of calling it the Make America Healthy Again Commission while ignoring the very things making America unhealthy—corporate greed, pollution, food deserts, medical bankruptcy, and systemic inequality—is just dystopian. Kids don’t need another round of bad-faith “what causes autism” speculation. They need food. They need stable homes. They need clean air and water. They need functioning healthcare that isn’t driven by conspiracy theorists pushing their personal agendas.

And RFK Jr. at the helm? That’s like putting a flat-earther in charge of NASA. The man has built his career on undermining public health, and now he’s supposed to be leading it? Even McConnell—Mitch McConnell, of all people—couldn’t stomach it. That alone should tell you how absurd this is.

If they really wanted to “investigate the root causes of America’s escalating health crisis,” they could start by looking at the gutting of social safety nets, the commodification of healthcare, and the exploitation of workers. But no, let’s just “study” autism again while people struggle to pay rent and put food on the table. Absolutely infuriating.

[shamelesstrixie]

If you just rebranded universal healthcare as TrumpCare: The Greatest, Most Beautiful, Everyone-Gets-A-Doctor Plan and slapped his face on every hospital, his base would be chanting "Medicare for All!" by next week.

All it would take is someone whispering, "Sir, did you know FDR and Obama both hated free healthcare?" and boom—Trump would be on stage yelling, "We're gonna have the best socialized medicine, folks. Way better than Canada's. Canada is very sad about how good our free doctors are!" And his base? Standing ovation.

Honestly, Democrats should just hire a negotiator to tell him, "Sir, Europe thinks you’re too weak to nationalize healthcare." Bet you he’d sign the bill that day.

Honestly? We need a MAGA Whisperer—someone who can infiltrate Mar-a-Lago, butter him up with "Sir, only the greatest presidents give free healthcare," and slip a universal healthcare bill onto his desk labeled "The Trump Health Empire Act." Maybe toss in a gold-plated Medicare card with his face on it. Boom. Signed. Done.

Next step? Get Fox News to spin it: "Trump SAVES American Healthcare! Liberals FURIOUS!" Tucker 2.0 will be on TV saying, "The radical left didn’t want you to have free healthcare, but Trump outplayed them!" and suddenly, every Republican senator is scrambling to pretend they were always for it.

Honestly, this plan has legs. We just need the right mix of flattery, reverse psychology, and a lot of gold trim. Who’s got Jared Kushner’s number?

[shamelesstrixie]

The "Father of IVF"? Trump apparently dubbed himself the Father of IVF. That’s like calling himself the Father of Black History Month because he once pointed at a picture of Frederick Douglass. The guy who brags about overturning Roe v. Wade now wants credit for reproductive technology? If irony were a currency, we’d be debt-free.

Executive Order to… Ask for a List? This executive order doesn’t actually do anything—it just asks for a list of recommendations in 90 days. Imagine your boss saying, "I'm solving workplace issues!" and then emailing you: "Hey, make me a list of problems and solutions. I'll circle back in three months." Classic Trump move—headline first, action maybe later.

Campaign Promises vs. Reality He promised to make IVF free. But surprise, surprise—the executive order doesn’t mention that at all. So, either he forgot (likely), or he never intended to follow through (even more likely). It’s like when he promised Mexico would pay for the wall—big words, no plan.

The Republican Hypocrisy Olympics Congressional Republicans twice voted against protecting IVF, but now Trump wants credit for supporting it? The same party that cheered on Alabama’s ruling that frozen embryos are children—which could ban IVF—is now pretending to be its savior? That’s like setting your neighbor’s house on fire and then demanding applause for calling 911.

How Will He Pay for It? Trump hates government-funded healthcare—unless it’s for something he just learned about last year. Making IVF free means either a new single-payer system for fertility (which Republicans loathe) or forcing insurers to cover it under the Affordable Care Act (which Trump tried to repeal). So, the big question: Does he even know how his own policies work?

"More Babies!" The executive order claims Trump has “long advocated for more babies.” Oh yeah? Is that before or after he put kids in cages? Forced teen moms to give birth in detention centers? Blocked maternal healthcare funding? It's wild how the "pro-baby" stance disappears the second the child is born.

Final Verdict: This executive order is the policy equivalent of handing out empty folders labeled "Important Documents." It’s a PR stunt designed to make Trump look like a champion of women’s health—when in reality, his party is the biggest threat to reproductive rights. If he actually cared, he’d be fighting his own party on this, not tossing out meaningless paperwork.

[shamelesstrixie]

Oh, this is peak Trump—Mr. “Law and Order” himself deciding he’s now the emperor of Washington, D.C., because the sight of homelessness offends his billionaire sensibilities. Forget about, you know, actually helping people—just get those tents out of his sight before he has to shake hands with another world leader.

And the irony is just chef’s kiss. The guy spent four years stoking chaos, making D.C. ground zero for insurrection, and now he’s suddenly worried about crime? Maybe if he hadn’t invited an angry mob to ransack the Capitol, he wouldn’t have to pretend to be shocked that things are a little messy.

Also, gotta love how he “likes” Mayor Muriel Bowser personally but still wants to strip her city of its autonomy. Classic Trump—tell you to your face that you’re great, then turn around and bulldoze everything you stand for.

And the best part? His biggest concern isn’t public safety or fixing systemic issues—it’s making sure the grass looks nice when he’s showing off America to foreign leaders. That’s Trump in a nutshell: image over substance, vanity over governance. If only he cared as much about democracy as he does about keeping his view pristine.