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I went to an arcade tonight and I was playing this lock picking game and I was 3 AWAY FROM THE JACKPOT and then i failed and a whole group of strangers went NOOOO & YOU WERE SO CLOSE!! alongside me. bonding in the tragedy of failing right at the end of an arcade game.

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so that was a lie, i say days later. But on the bright side I think I'm at the end of it so I'm going to try to be back around and queueing things for when at work, etc etc

Mmm kinda in a weird funk. I'll probably be back in a couple hours.

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@cartelheir played: [ WRAP ]: sender wraps themselves in a blanket fur coat and waddles over to cuddle receiver. for her cuddle buddy chi

𝗚𝗔𝗠𝗘 𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘: LAZY DAY RP MEMES

The heater hums, a low sound that has long been reduced to MERE BACKGROUND NOISE as it works to keep the apartment warm. His somber eyes are focused on the ceiling, but there's no particular reason for it. There's nothing to look at on the blank surface besides smooth paint. And isn't that a familiar theme? He knows that one better than any other one.

A weight joins him on the couch with a suddenness that he knows means Pat's just dropped her full weight down beside him and then there's fur everywhere. It's enough of a surprise that it yanks him out of the void of his own thoughts to focus on this coat. ONE: He does not recognize this coat which means she must have gotten it recently. TWO: There's a message in it. THREE: It is very soft and Chishiya will never verbally admit it but he does like it, an appreciation shown through his fingers getting lost in the fur when he runs a hand over her arm.

" You are not putting that coat in my closet. " Chishiya informs her before she can potentially breach the subject. HER COAT, HER PROBLEM. He is not moving just so she can have a room just for her coats. He sinks against the soft fur as she cuddles up to him and makes a faint, barely-there sound of approval. He does quite like the coat. It looks good on her (as if Pat would ever wear anything that didn't) and it is quite nice to have that pressed so close. Like a blanket, only more stylish and usable against the winter cold.

He snorts, tilting his head and mumbles. " Could you imagine if it had been winter in the Borderlands? " It slips out before he can stop it. That would have been awful. Summer was bad, winter would have been worse. He eyes the jacket for a moment and then brushes past the comment.

" So. You're wearing a fur coat like that indoors. " He's not going to miss the obvious that most people don't do that, unless it was a case of cultural difference. His quiet appreciation turns suspicious. " Are you going on? " Which she is free to do, but her cuddling up to him implies something far less impersonal. " . . . Are you trying to make me go out? " THAT'S THE REAL QUESTION. Except it's not really a question so much as a confirmation. He can't fathom why else she would be wearing that right now.

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feels like a forgotten memory

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photographer: delfi carmona

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𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗚𝗔𝗠𝗘 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗨𝗘𝗦 . . . @niragixpsych

Chishiya has an ability about him to seem to disappear from people's attention - to go overlooked or slip away undetected when he wants to. He doesn't immediately speak up when he finds Niragi on the rooftop, one step from the edge. He's confident he won't take it. Not Niragi. That would be such a SAD, PATHETIC way for a man like him to go. It's only after a couple minutes that he speaks up and makes his presence known, stepping out into the moonlight.

" Do you want me to miss you? " Chishiya counters, all sly eyes and a haughty smirk. HE'S TEASING ; playing like a cat batting at something under its paw. It's dangerous to take your eyes off of Chishiya. His hands are hidden in his pockets and he glances up to try to see what Niragi is looking at, but the sky holds nothing to him and he drops his gaze back down. He wanders closer to the edge but not nearly as close as Niragi, and not particularly close to the other man either. " Who said I wanted anything? Maybe I just wanted to prove I could accurately guess where you'd be? " He poses, deflects, denies.

He doesn't say anything for a few moments ; not on Niragi's question, not on the smell of blood clinging to the air. His eyes are as dark as the sky and watches the distance. IT'S ODDLY PEACEFUL. Despite the faint sound of music from partying below and the lights, there's still a strange sense of peace he can't quite name. Opens his mouth slightly like he intends to speak and then pauses, like he can't decide if he wants to. Finally, he does. " I'm a little disappointed by here. " A small breath, and his eyes look flat, dulled and bored in a way that often infuriated others. " Not the Beach. Just...here. Sometimes its interesting but other times it feels as boring as the other world. "

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Mmm kinda in a weird funk. I'll probably be back in a couple hours.

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For a moment, Aran is met with a BLANK STARE — like his interpretation is something that's never crossed Chishiya's mind. " I don't think that's what they mean when they say that. " Then again, what does he know about that? Chishiya's infamous for his dismissals - for being untouchable. Unusual hair and feline like eyes have had plenty of attention from nurses and staff attempt to make a move only to never seem to earn so much as a glance from the doctor no matter who they were. " Not so far at least. Skill only does so much. " Chishiya doesn't look phased in the slightest at the other's hubris.

He sits down and allows a soft exhale of amusement. " There's no admission. Only hypothetical entertainment, which most people have thought of even in jest. " He counters simply - TOO SLIPPERY TO PIN DOWN SO EASILY. He leans back against the chair, regarding the other with a faint chuckle and a teasing tone . " So eager to sink your teeth into something. It's a little less the case and more due to under table rivalry, though you'd probably still enjoy it. " Doesn't scold, doesn't point out the HIPAA violation - what he does is already worse than a simple violation. " Though it does seem you'd be the only one gaining from me sharing. " He muses ; what is he to gain for sharing is an UNSPOKEN QUESTION.

"You're not cute like that, Chishiya." Sounds like people were trying to flirt with the other, at least in Aran's mind that consisted of nothing but surgery and sex, simple yet brilliant at both so who was to complain. Outspoken as he was those sharp eyes looked over the doctor rather judgmentally, not too interested in the exchange about those dying on the table as instead he was still analyzing the cat likeness of the other. "Not if you're as good as me." Spoken with the same confidence as always, legs crossed as the former surgeon got comfortable. "Admitting to your willingness for murder is the first step of being caught, Chish." Although it was amusing how alike they were in that aspect, too confident for their own good, really. "Heard your department rejected a difficult case. Show me." HIPPA seemed not to matter to Aran as per usual. No, not when he was on a hunt.

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" You look like you're practically biting your tongue with something to say. " Chishiya cants his head to the side as he regards the other with something akin to THINLY-VEILED AMUSEMENT. " You might as well say it, unless you plan to lose your tongue while trying to hold it back. "

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This is so much work setting up all this for a ship week omg. I've never appreciated how much work people do for this. But as a special treat for those here, you can find the twitter, tumblr, strawpage, and carrd (that i'm still in the middle of setting up along with the tumblr teme so don't judGE). i'll make an official post later today once everything looks Nice™

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⋆｡‧˚ʚ💋ɞ˚‧｡⋆ 𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬

​​​​​​actions.

[ CUDDLE ]: sender wraps their arms around receiver on the couch and refuses to let go.

[ OVERSIZED ]: sender is wearing receiver's oversized hoodie or shirt with nothing underneath.

[ MOVIE ]: sender and receiver watch a movie, tangled up in blankets.

[ LAP ]: sender lays their head in receiver’s lap while scrolling on their phone.

[ SNOOZE ]: sender drifts off mid-conversation with their face buried in receiver’s neck.

[ COFFEE ]: sender brings receiver their favorite drink while still in pajamas.

[ STAY ]: sender pulls receiver back into bed when they try to get up.

[ TANGLE ]: sender’s legs are tangled with receiver’s under a cozy blanket.

[ KISSY ]: sender peppers sleepy kisses across receiver’s cheeks and neck.

[ SHOWER ]: sender pulls receiver into a lazy, steamy shower just to hold them.

[ HAIR ]: sender plays with receiver’s hair absentmindedly.

[ LAPTOP ]: sender works on something while laying on top of receiver.

[ NAP ]: sender and receiver nap together, completely wrapped around each other.

[ BUMPS ]: sender bumps their nose against receiver's while giggling under the covers.

[ COOKING ]: sender tries to make breakfast but gets distracted by receiver’s kisses.

[ SOCKS ]: sender steals receiver’s socks just to keep their toes warm.

[ BRUSH ]: sender gently brushes receiver’s messy morning hair with their fingers.

[ WRAP ]: sender wraps themselves in a blanket and waddles over to cuddle receiver.

[ DANCE ]: sender pulls receiver into a slow, silly dance in the kitchen.

[ FLUFF ]: sender brings over a pillow and throws it at receiver to start a pillow war.

𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞.

❝ five more minutes. ❞

❝ you’re so warm, don’t move. ❞

❝ let’s stay in bed all day. ❞

❝ i made coffee. come get it before it gets cold. ❞

❝ you’re way too comfortable for me to get up. ❞

❝ we should order something and never leave the couch. ❞

❝ you have bedhead. it’s adorable. ❞

❝ come here, i need snuggles. ❞

❝ i missed mornings like this with you. ❞

❝ i don’t care what we watch as long as you’re here. ❞

❝ wanna nap on top of me again? ❞

❝ you smell like sleep and sunshine. ❞

❝ i stole your hoodie and i’m never giving it back. ❞

❝ your toes are freezing. ❞

❝ don’t fall asleep on me—too late. ❞

❝ i swear you’re the human version of a weighted blanket. ❞

❝ is it illegal to be this cozy? ❞

❝ i could do nothing with you forever. ❞

❝ you’re the best part of my lazy days. ❞

❝ come lay on me, i’m a pillow now. ❞

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em dash is so fucking sexy. puts her in a paragraph 8 times.

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Sett looks strangely at peace now that he has the engine purring under his hands and the dawn slowly encroaches upon the city. It's strange, but not unpleasant. CHISHIYA DOESN'T DOWNPLAY THE COMPLIMENT. He's heard such things a thousand times in his life and he knows he's smarter than most others. Still - there's a slightly startled blink when Sett laughs again, a sound that ricochets off abandoned buildings and the empty streets as he drives. It's strange to hear when he is the cause of it. " I don't rehearse it. It would be FAR LESS IMPRESSIVE if I did. I just know that. And there is a mechanic at The Beach. " He replies even if he's fairly certain Sett is merely teasing him. Chishiya's gaze SWEEPS OVER SETT, UP AND DOWN, as he tries to imagine a small, muscle-less Sett and comes up with nothing. Then Sett starts reminiscing and something sinks in Chishiya's chest. He turns to stare outside at the empty streets as they drive past them and stays silent. ( What does he have to offer? NOTHING. Chishiya doesn't have the same yearning. ) " If you stand on the roof you can feel the wind. " He offers with his typical deadpan tone - though if he's serious or being a SMARTASS and joking is hard to tell with him. The brush of fingertips causes him to tense for a split second, but he doesn't pull away ; after a moment he relaxes again even when his eyes linger longer before returning to the world outside. " You know Hatter's idea of gathering the cards to return to the real world is only a theory ; he has no proof. " Chishiya remarks as he stares out the windshield. His eyes narrow slightly in a gleam of arrogant confidence and certainty. " I'm going to win. Whatever this all is, I'm curious to see where it goes. " Where others DREAM OF ESCAPE, Chishiya only looks towards victory, to the possibilities in this world they're all in. " Though I'm sure beating it does mean going back, so that's a given. " He adds almost as an afterthought yet serves as proof he didn't miss what Sett's intentions were.

the sound of the engine somehow gave him that little hit of normal he had been starving for and if he tried to squint hard enough, and ignored the shattered glass littering the highway, the crows perched too still on the power lines, the world almost looked like home. almost. his mouth quirked at the sight of the smug little look on the other's lineaments, a barely-there curl of the tiers, that glint of nearly superiority ⸻ it always made him want to ruffle his hair and throw him off-balance to see what it would look like. ❝ yeah, it's nothing new, though. you really are. ❞ tokyo's skeleton stretched out before them, bone-white buildings cast in golden ruin. and for a moment ( only for a smidgen of a moment ) sett let himself dream: dream of noise, of nightclubs, of grease-slick bikes roaring under signs. a laugh tore out from him at the mention of the vehicles evolution, shaking his head. ❝ you just love proving your own points, huh? bet you rehearse 'em in your head like poetry. but yes, you're right. born to drive... i was rolling with muscle cars before i even had muscle. ❞ he tapped the steering wheel, gaze drifting up toward the sky: pinks and oranges melting together, liquids mixing to formulate the perfect cocktail. ❝ i can't wait ot get outta this goddamn place... back to real streets, back to my bike, my car. back to concrete and not looking over my shoulder every fucking second. ❞ a pause and a sigh. ❝ i can't wait to feel wind again that ain't trying to kill me. ❞ he reached out, enough to let his digits brush chishiya's wrist. ❝ i can't wait to show you the world that you've never seen before. you're so coming back with me. ❞ it was not a question. it was a statement. a subtle promise.

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@musingmemories played: how can you live with yourself? (Usagi to Chishiya)

𝗚𝗔𝗠𝗘 𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘: THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND

The underground room goes dark after Mira's announcement concludes and the tvs shut off again, the words of more games to play still ringing like the fading echoes of a tolling bell. Chishiya, unsurprisingly, had been the least bothered at the news. HE DOESN'T MIND THE GAMES. Tomorrow at noon begins something new. And Chishiya doesn't have high hopes for his answer to be found within these games either. But there's a chance. There's still a chance he might find some answer within this experience - except the odds are not favoring that considering how many games he has already played. Yet he still reaches for it, curious to see if he can find what has evaded him his entire life. He languidly blinks at the dark screens as his back presses against the wall. IT REEKS OF DEATH AND BLOOD, but they're all familiar with that by now. It's cooler down here than up above and there's plenty of rooms further in that Arisu and Usagi hadn't gotten to before Chishiya and Kuina had made their move after observing.

Chishiya drops his gaze from the screens to find Kuina and Arisu tossing theories back and forth; with Kuina chewing on the plastic and Arisu digging fingers into his hair. ITS AN OBVIOUS TELL. One that, Chishiya muses, might get him killed. ( One of many things about Arisu. ) It would have if Arisu had been in the poker game with veterans rather than Chishiya. BUT TELLS ARE USEFUL. So Chishiya doesn't point out Arisu's habit. What even he doesn't expect is to find Usagi standing beside him. Even less the question she posses - less because of the question's subject and more because of the the fact she decided to speak to him at all. She was the more cautious. But if he hooked Arisu, then she was bound to follow. It'd worked at the Beach perfectly, just as he'd anticipated. HE'S A BETTER MANIPULATOR; the heart can only do so much but the brain can manipulate both logic and the heart. And that's why his toying with Arisu works so well. He doesn't feel bad about what he's done like her words imply that he should. Chishiya studies her, expression relaxed even in light of the news and his eyes apathetic - ALMOST BORED. ( What audacity to have such a look in this place of all places. )

" We do what we need to survive. " Chishiya answers her, and bets it will only fuel her rage and distrust for him. IT SHOULD BOTHER HIM. It would bother Kuina. It doesn't. He feels nothing in his chest, not even the slightest twinge of anything. It's deathly still ; a lake that is a perfect mirror of the sky above. BLACK EMPTINESS EVERYWHERE, REFLECTED BACK. " Wouldn't you do anything to make sure Arisu got back? " He lifts an eyebrow and turns his feline-like gaze on the subject of discussion. Arisu has so much potential - but he's such a useful little pawn. Like the rook on a chessboard. Useful, better than most other chess pieces, but not as good as the queen. It's better to keep him in that role. " It's no different. Only it's for me instead of someone else. Although . . . moreso because I am curious what comes next. "

Chishiya thoughtful noise. " For the record though, Kuina wasn't fully aware either. " HE DOES LIKE KUINA, even if he'd been willing to leave her behind if she went back for Arisu. Even if she'd been upset. Or maybe not, he's not really asked her thoughts in the aftermath. Still he does offer that to ease any anger Usagi might have towards the other. But Usagi is smart. Not like him, but smart enough to have known not to trust him, smart enough to likely know Kuina's warmth was genuine. Her instincts are good. He turns his head to look at Usagi again, offering that same calm blink that has infuriated so many others here.

" Why would I not be able to live with myself? " It seems like a GENUINE question ; one perhaps more out of curiosity for her answer than any intent to re-evaluate himself - but one nonetheless. " It worked out favorably for me. Had it been someone else, would you not also be able to rest easy is you and Arisu were safe, regardless of what happened to others? " He tilts his head, gaze sharpening like the flash of a scalpel. " I doubt those who died in your other games haunt you. Like tag for example. Even Arisu isn't so different unless its someone close to him. "

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@stingslikeabee played: [ SNOOZE ]: sender drifts off mid-conversation with their face buried in receiver’s neck. (for Ann!)

𝗚𝗔𝗠𝗘 𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘: LAZY DAY RP MEMES

It hadn't come as any big surprise when Melissa had ended up dozing off in the middle of the conversation. Her exhaustion had been clear to see just upon a glance, let along trying to remain coherent and hold a conversation. And yet it was no less sweet for that fact. Regardless of the coherency that dwindled through the conversation, it was the sentiment that meant so much to Ann. To take valuable time EVEN WHEN LIMBS AND MIND ALIKE WERE HEAVY AND SLUGGISH to still hold a conversation with her. What had been surprising was Melissa falling asleep mid-sentence of her own words. Albeit, a rather funny surprise.

For a moment, ANN DOESN'T DARE MOVE. It matters not how her shoulders feel stiff or her spine gives a little protest to how she bends. What matters is how comfortable Melissa is curled against her, the gentle breaths against the sensitive skin of her throat. She seems relaxed. And peace is a rare thing to find in this world. Eve The Beach itself cannot offer that. Escapism? Sure. But not peace. Peace was found in the subtler, gentler things. The quiet moments of stolen happiness that is as warm as freshly baked cookies and lingers like the warmth from the fire. IT'S A PRECIOUS COMMODITY. Something more valuable the cash here.

" So much for not being that tired. " Ann's lips curve into a small smile, a light thread of humor in her voice. SHE DOES NOT MIND. On the contrary. It warms her chest and makes it feel as light as a fresh feather in the breeze. What is more sweet than someone willingly being vulnerable with you? To entrust you with their safety and wellbeing, to lower their guard enough to be as exposed as sleeping? Ann lifts her hand and gently brushes a strand of hair back behind Melissa's ear. I told you so lingers on her tongue, but it is KEPT SILENT behind painted lips.

Movements come slowly when Ann finally decides her muscles do need to move before her body riots. She gingerly moves back against the couch, careful so as not to disturb or wake Melissa. But she doesn't move, and Ann spends the next five minutes very slowly adjusting herself onto the chaise to be more comfortable. All the while she is careful not to wake the other. And when she is comfortably, she wraps her arms around Melissa to hold her close and lets her sleep, content to savor the rare delicacy of such a moment together.

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let's turn this ptsd into a phd

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The hospital I work at is doing a mass casualty practice exercise, you know - aib style, but they forgot to announce that it was an exercise the first time, so they just said code green mass casualty 😭😂 like imagine just being a patient going to your regular appointment and hearing that