shawnhills - Tumblr blog

[shawnhills]

i hear you. the first deep connection with someone can leave an indelible mark, and when things don't work out as we hope, it can be incredibly tough to navigate. losing someone who was so important to you is like grieving a part of yourself. it's understandable that being around him is exacerbating those feelings. it's like reopening a wound each time. have you considered creating some healthy distance for yourself? sometimes giving yourself space to heal and gain perspective can make a world of difference.

He was the first person that was important on that level. Everyone before was unimportant yet somehow I fucked that up. Nobody and nothing prepared me for how depressing losing him would be, you know. The songs don't even begin to put it into words. Yeah, I'm trying to look at it like that. It's just hard when he's around and we can hardly get a word in before we're at each other's throats. It feels like rubbing salt in the wound.

[shawnhills]

PRIVATE: i'm really sorry to hear that you've reached this point, and i can imagine how difficult it must be to come to terms with the possibility of things being over. it sounds like you've put a lot of effort into trying to reach out and salvage the relationship, but if you're feeling drained and unappreciated, it's completely understandable that you need to prioritize your own well-being. it's important to take care of yourself during this time and focus on what brings you happiness and fulfillment. while it's hard to let go of something you've invested so much in, sometimes it's necessary for your own growth and happiness. remember that you're not alone, tay, and there are people who care about you and want to support you through this.

PRIVATE: Honestly, I'm going to just throw all his stuff in the closet. I tried to reach out many times, even caved and sent gifts to get ghosted. I'm done trying. I gave my whole and my love to get nothing. I promise, I've been living my life more than it sounds, just also trying to figure this out and now all I know is - I'm done. I can't live like this anymore. I'm done with the marriage, the ghosting and relationships. Maybe one day, we'll be happy together, maybe he'll move on - all I know now is, it might be truly over and I'm okay with that now.

[shawnhills]

ryan opening a bar does sound like the next logical step! betty booze and aviation would definitely draw a crowd. i'm glad you found your niche with the bakery in brooklyn—it's such a cool place to set up shop. i'm already thinking about what i'd love to try from your bakery—maybe some classic chocolate chip cookies or a decadent red velvet cake? it's awesome to hear that things are going well and that you're getting to focus on what matters most. your fans are lucky to have such delicious treats coming their way. when's a good time for me to swing by?

Thank you, honestly i am surprise Ryan hasn't opened a bar yet between Betty Booze and Aviation he could totally fill up a place, i do have a soft spot for Brooklyn so the second i saw this place i was like yep i am doing this, oh you should totally stop by, let me know your favorite bake goods and i'll make a batch just for you, things have been great, is not a really big place so i get to focus more on what matters and fans have been pretty sweet.

[shawnhills]

that sounds like a busy but fulfilling time. it's great to hear that work has been enjoyable, and having a nice break lined up afterward sounds perfect. reconnecting with old mates must have been a blast. and making the move to california to be closer to your friend sounds like a wonderful idea. what part of california are you settling into?

——- Yes, work has been a lot but it's all been a lot of fun as well, and i'm really looking forward to a nice break after it's all done. just a couple old mates, it was nice — for sure. it is and it's actually one i wanted to do for a bit, just didn't yet, really. i have a friend in another part of california so figured it'd make sense to stay near them.

[shawnhills]

absolutely, nerves are completely normal, even for seasoned performers like yourself. it's that adrenaline kicking in before stepping onto the stage, and it shows you care deeply about your craft. the rehearsals and preparation definitely help build confidence, but that pre-show jitters feeling can still creep up. just remember, once you're up there doing your thing, that nervous energy often transforms into pure excitement and passion. you've got this, dude.

So, I have a question for you. Do you ever get nervous before every tour you go out on regardless of how many times you have practiced in rehearsals and shit like that. Because I'm nervous as hell. Pleasure to meet you, Shawn.

[shawnhills]

i hear you on the last-minute gift scramble—it can definitely add some excitement to the process, but it's great that you're getting some solid ideas. taking time to think about personalized touches will surely make the gifts special. i've been doing well—keeping busy with the album and stuff like that. anything new and exciting happening in your superhero world lately?

It definitely can be tricky and also can be fun. I am one of those people who waits until the last minute on things and I should not have waited this time around. I am going to be paying the price I think when I am actually need said presents. I have gotten some good ideas so far though. I feel you on the personalized and meaningful, that is why I am asking for suggestions so I get put some more thought into it. That might work, I will have to do some more thinking about it though. How have you been, by the way?

[shawnhills]

that's amazing to hear about your bakery venture. i can totally imagine how excited you must be about it. ryan's got his football team, and now you've got your bakery—sounds like a winning combination. brooklyn must be the perfect backdrop for all your baking adventures. i definitely need to swing by and try some of your creations. how's everything going with the new business?

@hillsfmsstarters

Opening a bakery is the most me thing i ever done, honestly surprise that Ryan was okay with me doing it but it has been so much fun, guess he couldn't say much after he got a football team am i right? anyway hi everyone, if you haven't seen me in the last two months i been in Brooklyn baking my heart out.

[shawnhills]

that sounds like a thought-provoking movie to get you thinking about bucket lists. if i were to make one, i think i'd start with some big adventures like traveling to japan during cherry blossom season or experiencing the northern lights in iceland. oh, congratulations on being in "the idea of you"! nicholas something... could it be nicholas hoult? i'm joking. how was the filming experience?

So if you were writing a bucket list of things to do before you pass away, what would be on your list? I watched the movie The Bucket List from 2007 with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman and it got me thinking about my what would be on my list. So that is what I am asking, if you were writing a list what would be on yours? Oh, I am Anne and I am in that new movie The Idea of You with a guy named Nicholas something. How are you?

@hillsfmsstarters

[shawnhills]

figuring out a gift for someone who seems to have it all can be tricky, especially for your talented directors! how about something personalized and meaningful? maybe a custom-made piece of artwork related to the film, a rare collector's item, or an experience they wouldn't expect, like a behind-the-scenes tour or a special screening event?

I need some help. What would you get someone who you know has everything and anything that they could want? I really want to get something for my amazing directors on the movies that I have coming out this year. Any and all suggestions will be taken into consideration, I promise. Oh, I am Chris, by the way, the better of the Chrises of the Marvel Universe that is. How are you?

@hillsfmsstarters

[shawnhills]

i hear you, life can definitely get overwhelming, especially with a new album in the works and hitting the road again after a break. it's exciting stuff but also a lot to manage. i think the key is finding those little moments to take a breather and recharge whenever you can. remember to enjoy the ride and celebrate each milestone along the way. i'm shawn.

I have been so stressed out lately. I have been working on this new album and I'm hitting the road for the first time in like six months. Like life is crazy. How do people handle this. Its all still new to me. Anyways, I'm Chase. // @hillsfmsstarters

[shawnhills]

i'm glad you won't hold it against me. we did have some amazing times together. you're right, sometimes the crowds can be a bit much and i'm just at the point that i kind of want to be by myself, you know? this weekend sounds perfect for catching up. let's plan something chill because i want to focus on you and only you.

i don't know if i know that, but fine. i won't hold it against you because we did have a lovely time. i won't let your dramatics spoil that. i do get that. being around the masses can take a toll from time to time. in that case, how's this weekend for a catch up and you can tell me all about that?

[shawnhills]

it's truly inspiring how you balance these incredible career highs with being a dedicated dad. collaborating with legendary musicians like tony iommi, juliette lewis, paul mccartney, and david bowie is undoubtedly amazing, but there's a unique and special joy that comes from sharing the stage with characters that shaped our childhoods. your approach to fatherhood is heartwarming. being "just dad" is a title filled with endless love and devotion. the fact that you're not afraid to be silly and goofy to bring smiles to your kids' faces speaks volumes about the kind of dad you are. those moments of laughter and connection are what they'll treasure forever. and how cool is it that fi got to join you on ryan's mystery playdate? getting to share those experiences with your youngest must have been a blast for both of you. you're an inspiration, my dude. i want to be like you when i grow up.

You're not wrong. I'm so grateful for these opportunities. Collaborating with Tony Iommi, Juliette Lewis, Paul McCartney or David Bowie has absolutely nothing on getting to sing with Big Bird. They keep my on my toes for sure, but I would not have it any other way. They're my whole world, I would not know what to do with a son at this point. Oh, they don't care what I do; I'm just dad to them! It probably comes as no surprise to anyone that I am, and always have been, a silly dad. I am not at all above embarrassing myself to make my children laugh, so I don't think it was at all shocking when they heard I was going to be rocking out with the Muppets. My youngest, Fi, did come on Ryan's Mystery Playdate with me on Nick Jr, that was fun to get to do that with her.

[shawnhills]

bringing kesha out again sounds like a winning plan. who wouldn't want an encore with kesha? she's a total babe, and i can totally see why you'd be shooting your shot (for the movie, of course). it's tough when your celeb crush is happily taken, but hey, you never know what the future holds. and i'm glad i could give you a laugh. olivia must have been living her best life too with gwen—it's like a dream collab come true. starting off with a solid 4 stars sounds promising. here's hoping that bump to 5 happens by the time the weekend's over. it's such a shame i can't be there, i've been too fucking lazy.

kesha, too. i'm still pinching myself for that one. i have no idea how i'm going to top that this weekend. maybe i'll just bring her out again because really, who would complain about that? right? what a babe. i've been shooting my shot for some time now but for the movie only, of course, since i know she's married. breaks my heart all the time thinking about that. i see what you did there and no need to worry since you definitely earning a laugh from me. it was exactly that. i was fangirling for olivia so i can only imagine how she actually felt. right now, yeah it's definitely got that 4 stars. something tells me it'll bump up to 5 but can't know for sure until the end.

[shawnhills]

[shawnhills]

i hear you—it can be really challenging to work on patience, especially when you're naturally more inclined to be proactive. the fact that you're aware of it and making an effort to improve is a big step in itself, though. change doesn't happen overnight, so be patient with yourself as you work through it. and remember, you're making progress just by acknowledging it.

Oh no it's totally fine! To be honest with you I'm not a patient person so I'm trying my best to work on that. So far I'm not doing too hot on it.

[shawnhills]

ouch, babe. i'm sorry to hear you're feeling that way. it can be tough when you feel like you're not someone's first choice, but remember, you deserve to be valued and appreciated for who you are. sometimes it's just a matter of finding the right connection with the right person.

I'm not getting my hopes up seeing as I'm always never a first choice and I end up looking like an idiot.

[shawnhills]

kesha too? now that's just leveling up! you're really hitting the jackpot with this whole experience. and a potential round two this weekend? it's like the universe wants you to keep living your best life on repeat. s for your big gay rom-com dreams, rachel mcadams would be a stellar choice—she's got that rom-com magic for sure no doubt (pun intended, laugh, please) that gwen and olivia teaming up sounds absolutely iconic. those collaborations are what make festivals like coachella unforgettable. so besides your personal highlights, it sounds like the whole vibe was pretty damn good overall. if you had to rate it, would it still get that coveted 4 stars and up?

add in kesha to the mix and a chance to do it all again this weekend and i'm living enough best lives for probably about 10 people. you see the vision. i've been dropping hints about wanting to be in one big gay rom-com preferably with rachel mcadams but i'm not picky. you're a smart one but we can take the threat off the table so i can get some honest feedback. damn, that's a good question but besides the stuff for me personally, no doubt was pretty sick. plus gwen had olivia out there with her which is iconic really.