shazuiashan

[shazuiashan]

Hi everyone! My name is Shanly Rose Tiro Casuna; call me "Shan" for short. I am 18 years old. I live in Purok Beauty in the Sky, Timpolok Babag 2, and Lapu-Lapu City. Do you want to know what my life is like? (Chismosa! Char!)) 

So here's the story of my life! Throwback: When I was 6 months old, my papa died because he had leukemia stage 4. He never told anyone that he was sick, not until he always felt that his head was always aching and that all of his body had a lot of black dots, and that was the symptom of his illness. All of my uncle's brothers rushed him to the hospital. When they arrived at the hospital, the doctor checked him and found out that my father has leukemia cancer stage 4, and it is too late to make him heal because it is already stage 4 cancer. All of my uncle's and mama's children cried because of my father's situation. After a week, my father decides to go home because he doesn't want to die at the hospital because there's no chance to live long, he said.

My grandma didn't agree with my father's decisions, but that's what he wanted. My grandma told the doctor that they wanted to go home, and when they got home, my mama always cried because she didn't want to see that my father was suffering. My father loses hope because he says that he will no longer live. My father's situations became more difficult, and he said he wanted to rest because he was tired, but before he died, he told my mom and my uncle's to take care of me, never let anyone hurt me, and love me like their own daughter. After my father said that, he had already closed his eyes. Everyone is crying except me because I don't even know what's happening because I'm just a 6-month-old baby.

Fast forward: after 3 years, my mother found another guy, who is my mother's husband right now. When my mama and her husband lived together in the same house, my life became miserable. My mother's attention was always on her husband. Her husband doesn't want my mother to take care of me; he always says that my tita will take care of me because he wants my mother's attention.

When my mama's husband went abroad, I was very happy because my mama's attention was all mine, but I was wrong. Every time they always do "facetime," my mother's attention is always on her laptop, and mine? I'm just nothing. I always cry when mama and his husband are on "facetime." Every time my mama picks me up, his husband always says, "Put her down." My tita is always there for me, and she is very angry at my mother's new husband. Even though I'm just 3 years old, I already understand the situation.

When I was 6 years old, her husband got home from abroad on vacation for one month. My mama got pregnant for their first son, who is 15 years old now. When I was in 5th grade, I felt something wrong about my mother's husband—the way he stared at me—something was wrong, but I didn't mind it. Until I was in 6th grade, he harassed me. I've had trauma until now; anxiety has always attacked me. I don't want to communicate with others because I'm scared. I'm no longer going to explain this more because it's too complicated.

My childhood is not good; I don't have a lot of good memories of my childhood because I'm always at home, always do the housework, and at a very young age, a 5-year-old Shanly always does the dishes and cleans the house. They don't let me play outside if I can't finish the chores. I always think that it is unfair for me because other kids are playing outside while I'm just at the house. I don't have a lot of toys because they don't want to buy them for me, even Barbie. I always wanted to have a Barbie, but they always say that it's just a waste of money. They can afford to buy some remote controls and robots for my brother, but when it comes to me, it's just a waste of money.

Every time I see a kid like me who has a Barbie doll, I become jealous. How can they have a Barbie doll while I can't? How unfair is that? They have a lot of toys and can play outside, but I can't. But I always tell myself that it's okay; I can play with myself and make my own toys.

Now, I have two brothers, one 15 years old and one 7 years old. I am very grateful that I have them. And I am thankful that they never experienced what I did when I was a kid. Well, we all know that life is hard and challenging. Just always put your trust in Jesus Christ; everything will be alright, and everything will be fine in His name. He will always guide us.

Thank you for reading...