shdrum

[shdrum]

UNSPOKEN

choi beomgyu x male reader

summary: where you express your feelings for him through small gifts.

it started with a keychain.

a soft, cute plush bear.

now hanging from his bag, serving as a reminder. that voice still rang in his head.

'it reminded me of you.'

you and beomgyu had been sitting side by side on a lone brick wall near the college building, sipping cheap vending machine drinks and store-bought snacks.

you jolted up right— suddenly remembering something— dug into your bag, and held out the little bear.

beomgyu looked at it. then at you. then back at the keychain.

"... that for me?"

you nodded. shoving the gift into his hands.

"thought you'd like it. reminded me of you"

he tried to suppress a smile, but the small twitch of his lips betrayed him. "you think i look like one?"

"yeah. soft. kinda dumb," a teasing glint in your eyes.

"hey!" he said, giving you a playful shove.

"you do know you can just compliment me, right? no need to insult me."

"dunno. have to balance it out, i have a nonchalant persona to maintain." you replied with a smirk.

that set him off giggling "you're so stupid."

he clipped it to the zipper of his backpack, deciding not to think too hard about it, but his chest felt a little too warm for a late fall morning.

it became a habit.

a small box containing a silver bracelet inside with a little guitar charm.

a leather-bound notebook for him write lyrics in— once you noticed it was a hobby of his.

a pack of cookies left on his desk when you realized he often forgot to bring lunch.

each time, you said the same thing.

he never made a big fuss, playing it off with playful jokes and teasing smiles.

but he kept everything. you noticed.

—

"you know," beomgyu said one day, while he laid under a tree, finding shapes in the clouds drifting past. "most people flirt with compliments."

the boy beside him stretched, arms crossed behind his head. "you think my method’s inferior?"

"i think you're oddly consistent," he replied, still gazing at the sky.

you turned to look at him. "consistency is romantic."

"...and kinda annoying." he retorted back, teasing.

you smirked. "still carrying the keychain?"

beomgyu said nothing.

he didn’t need to.

the cd came next.

it was a quiet friday night when you knocked on his dorm door, holding a plastic case with a cracked corner and messy handwriting on the front.

'soft hours. play me when...'

"you made me a mixtape?" beomgyu asked, genuinely surprised.

"don't make it weird," you mumbled. "they're just... songs for different occasions or ones i listen to when i think about you. it's whatever, really."

beomgyu's heart was doing flips. he turned over the cd, reading the tracklist, smiling to himself. "this is... really sweet."

"shut up. just play it already."

both of you sat cross-legged on the dorm floor, leaning against the edge of the bed. listening to the soft hum of acoustics and the occasional pop beats— just enjoying each other's presence.

beomgyu started returning the favor.

little things.

a tea bag labeled 'for your stress.'

a note on your desk: 'don't stress yourself out. drink water and take a nap.'

phone stickers of silly little animals.

then came winter.

snow dusted the courtyard. every student bundled in scarves and mittens, hands buried in jacket pockets.

your nose turned red. beomgyu's hands were always cold.

you didn't talk about what you were, didn't put a label to it. not yet.

but you shared more time, more space.

so when you handed him a box one late december evening—grey paper, black ribbon— beomgyu didn’t even question it.

the same gentle routine, the same phrase.

inside the box there was a small handmade ceramic parrot, imperfect. a crack in the glaze, lopsided head.

beomgyu stared at it for a long time. holding it like it was fragile, sacred; something to be preserved.

"...did you make this?"

you nodded. "took a pottery class. you said i needed a hobby,"

"why do you keep giving me things?" his voice was softer than usual, eyes searching your face for something real.

"because i don’t always know how to say things." you looked down, shrugging like it was nothing.

beomgyu took a breath. then—

"say it now."

you looked up, wide eyed. a flicker of vulnerability crossing your features.

finally you gained up the courage.

"you remind me of warm things. the kind of things that make you feel less alone, secure. i like myself when i'm with you. i don't know when i started thinking about you this way, but i did. now i can't stop."

he took a step closer. "you forgot to say something."

you blinked. "what you mean?"

"say you want to kiss me."

you stared at him. then laughed—breathless, nervous.

"i want to kiss you."

so you did.

that was the final gift.

not a mixtape. not a bracelet. not a plushy bear.

just the quiet, slow burn of feelings that had been building over time.

this moment— right here, just the two of you, felt like the most important thing you’d ever hold onto.

notes: thank you for reading! english is not my first language and feedback is very much appreciated.

[shdrum]

BOUQUETS

lee riwoo x male reader

summary: riwoo loved m/n. even if it meant dying for him.

warnings: hanahaki disease

how to tell someone you love them?

nervous confessions, racing heartbeats, lingering gazes.

the endless possibilities, the fear of rejection, made the situation feel impossible.

that was the case for riwoo.

bottled up affection turned into roots, making his body their home. growing just like his infatuation, silent, intense.

oh how painful it was to love him,

"hey riwoo?"

god, he would die just to hear that voice pronounce his name again— and in a way, he was.

every breath drawn hurt like an open wound, but he could endure it, just to keep those beautiful eyes on him.

"yeah?" still lost in thought, the brown eyed boy tried to act with normality, the faint smell of the cologne he adored lingering around the taller boy.

"you okay there?" you tilted your head slightly, confused. riwoo's eyes seemed to memorize every detail in your face, a light dust of pink tinted his cheeks.

"sorry. just got distracted," admiring you goes unspoken.

you decide not to read between the lines, as you know better than to press him into telling the truth.

instead you just brush a strand of hair out of his eyes, oblivious to the slight hitch of his breath.

"we still up for later?"

his brain is short-circuiting. it's not fair, how could someone effortlessly look like that?

"donuts and milkshakes?" he says, forcing himself out of his trance. ignoring the itch in his throat, he showed a cheeky grin, eyes like crescent moons.

"absolutely, woo. i'll see you there, 'kay?"

and you leave, a slight bounce to your step.

—

the café smelled like pastries and sweet beverages.

you and riwoo were seated together at a booth, enjoying the pleasant hum of the city outside, and the delicious taste of your strawberry-filled donut.

"i'm serious, woo. i could happily stuff my face with donuts every day."

a loud chuckle echoes through the store.

"me too. really, this is the best thing i've eaten all week," he takes a sip of his milkshake and closes his eyes in delight.

no wonder the store was always full, everything here tasted heavenly.

suddenly your demeanor shifted, becoming more serious.

"i don't want to overstep or anything but, you sure you're feeling okay? you've looked a little tired these last few days,"

riwoo's eyes widened slightly, thought he composed himself quickly. his chest felt tight, as more petals tried to make their way up his throat.

"yeah, just didn't sleep pretty well last night, been stressed with work." lying to you didn't sit correctly with him, but it was easier than saying: 'i love you so much i can barely breathe'.

"be sure to take breaks okay? i'm worried about you." your face showed nothing but pure concern and care, which just made him feel worse about his decision.

just as he was about to reassure you, a couch escaped his lips. he quickly turned away, grabbing a napkin to cover his mouth, a red splat of blood left behind.

"you sure you're not sick?" a frown etched on your face.

"no." he said too quickly, a flicker of panic crossing his face. "i mean— maybe just a cold, the weather's been kind of freezing lately." he said, as he balled up the napking and stashed it into his pocket.

you poked his cheek, preoccupied about your friend "you should go to the doctor, woo. your cheeks are warm."

his eyes widened, letting out a nervous giggle. "maybe, probably just some rest and i'll feel better."

they stayed in a comfortable silence, broken only when you decided to speak again.

"you know you can tell me if something is troubling you, right? i'm here for you."

"i know. i know you are." his voice came out softer this time, vulnerable. he so desperately wished to tell you the truth but he couldn't risk it, not if it meant losing you.

you smiled softly while looking at him, you really did care, maybe even more than he thought.

time passed between shared laughter, playful banter and sweet desserts.

soon the dreaded time came, you had to part ways.

"take care of yourself, tell me when you get home, 'kay? you said as you hugged him, voice still filled with concern.

"i will, don't worry." he etched your scent deep into memory, enjoying your warm hold against the cold weather.

finally, you said your goodbyes, starting to walk home while he stayed still, watching you leave.

his mind screaming at him to run after you, to admit how you plagued his every waking thought.

and even in the land of dreams; fantasizing of a life with you, waking up in your embrace, surrounded by your warmth, being able to see you up close.

to know the feeling of your lips intertwined, memorize every beautiful imperfection.

but he wasn't naive, he knew it was just a figment of his imagination, that this was as much as he could get.

his body, a garden of unsaid love.

every coughed flower a reminder,

you would never be his.

he was gonna die, the truth buried with him. but he got to be close to you, and there's nothing else that matters.

notes: thank you for reading! sorry if this is bad, it's my first time writing and english is not my first language. feedback is very much appreciated!