she-anemone

[she-anemone]

Teto Souls

(Source: @Cewid_)

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Cartoons and vodka

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Shark from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

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scribble from 2-ish days ago

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Serial Experiments Lain

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Lemme just exaggerate how things went for the bit

[she-anemone]

Ragatha Baseball Superstar ✨

Oh please let this episode happen!!! I am so ready 😫💕

It's really fun drawing dynamic poses.

I bet underneath that sweet doll exterior she's actually a powerhouse athlete >:3

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I cannot stop thinking about Episode 5 of TADC because Ragatha is, however unintentionally, one of the best examples of how isolating and difficult it is to interact with the world as an autistic person I have ever seen. To the point it genuinely makes me sad to think about her. I need to make a post expanding on this at some point but rn just. The way everyone assumes there’s some sinister hidden meaning to everything she does and says but she’s literally just trying to be nice and she doesn’t understand why it’s not working. The way she tries so hard to make connections but it constantly falls flat, she says things that hurt without realising how or why. She follows the rules she’s been taught will make her friends — she’s kind, she’s forgiving, she’s accepting and apologetic when she messes up, but for some reason it’s just not working. She tries to mimic other people, she tries to laugh at past experiences, tries to open up about her past like everyone else is doing, but now everyone’s uncomfortable and looking at her like she’s crazy and she doesn’t get it!! She doesn’t get it!!! Jax is a jerk and he’s mean to everyone but for some reason Pomni likes him and she doesn’t get it, she doesn’t understand! Pomni tells her it’s okay to be a jerk sometimes but Ragatha doesn’t like being mean, she wants to be nice to people, but she does it anyway, she gets mean like Jax and Zooble do but now Pomni’s looking at her like she’s done something wrong but she just did what she asked her to!! She doesn’t get it!! At the end of the episode everyone goes off into their groups and Ragatha is left alone, after having tried so hard to make friends and fit in and make people like her, she’s still alone, and everyone thinks she’s weird and unapproachable and she just has to give up and accept that she is inherently unloveable. Her evil alter ego tells her she’s going to die alone and nobody loves her and the only thing she corrects her on is the fact that they can’t die here. The few that might like her when she’s around don’t miss her when she’s gone, because there’s nothing to miss. Ragatha has spent her whole life systematically stripping away everything that makes her different and unlikeable in order to make herself more palatable to others, and in the process she has made herself a personalitiless blank slate with no unique identity for others to latch onto and appreciate. She has nothing to add to any conversation because she’s too afraid of being disliked to have a memorable personality beyond being generally polite and nice. And just. God. Someone get this girl some noise cancelling headphones and a therapist on speed dial, being this good of a representation of what it’s like to be autistic, especially to be an autistic person with trauma, is not good for the soul. That final shot just destroys me right in the heart. My poor girl.

[she-anemone]

i forgor how to draw Ragatha but that does not stop me from sketching her in the Portrait de Madame X pose [under da cut]

Maybe ill redraw that sketch into more detailed piece but for a warmup it`ll suffice

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dream I had:

I was living in a small white apartment with my mother and stepfather. they wouldn't look me in the eye or speak to me they would leave and lock the door after them. the apartment had a long hallway that led to a featureless white room. I sat in the center of the room and would meditate there until I landed in a dream state. in the dream I was standing on a city street and the cars were going by. it was a bright summer day. there was a woman standing in the intersection. she had black hair and was wearing a white dress and hat. I would drift in and out of the state and walk back and forth from the room to the front of the apartment and back over and over again. the final trance I went in went for a long time. I realized I had to wake up. I walked past the woman and she looked to me and said something like " ah, good thing you're leaving. you must have seen what's underneath all of this" i speedwalked down the street until the trance ended and I got out of the white room and into the shower of the apartment. I started puking up black leeches. it felt viscerally real. like really real.

then after puking for a while, I woke up for serious and only like 2 hours had passed. not really a nightmare but pretty interesting and unsettling

[she-anemone]

guy who is so nose

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Tifa x Aerith - Dear to the Heart

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Claudette Colbert dressed as Pierrot the Clown, 1930s

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The Land Unknown  |  Final Fantasy V  |  Nobuo Uematsu

[she-anemone]

tori